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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (March 28, 2017)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, MARCH 28, 2017
Past abuse stalls dating
Dear Annie: I’m a selor, which has helped me
46-year-old woman who has greatly, but we never discuss
been married (and divorced) healthy sexual relationships;
twice. Both marriages were we just discuss the past abuse.
filled with abuse — physical, — Ready to Start Over
emotional and sexual. Add
Dear Ready: I’m so
to that severe child abuse — sorry you’ve experienced so
which has me per-
much abuse through-
out your life, but I’m
also inspired by your
now — and, well, I’m
scared to be intimate
positive attitude. I’m
with anyone ever
confident you’ll find
someone out there
who is worthy of your
I’ve been on two
time, and he’ll be a
dates in the past 13
lucky man indeed.
years. I’m finally
But before then, you
getting to the point
really need to discuss
where I like myself Annie
with your counselor
and am considering
how past abuse has
dating again (if any-
one will want to date a mid- impacted your current rela-
dle-aged disabled woman). tionship with sex. He or she
But I know that if I find some- may even be able to refer you
one I want to marry, the rela- to a sex therapist who special-
tionship will have to involve izes in working with victims
sex. It’s been 13 years since I of past abuse. A counselor’s
last had sex. And for the seven office is a safe space that’s
years prior, it was forced sex, free of judgment, and this is
never consensual on my part. exactly the type of thing a
Do you have any sugges- counselor is there for.
You’re only 46. You still
tions? Right now, the thought
of sexual intercourse terrifies have decades of fun ahead of
me. It’s certainly not an issue you. Hang in there, and keep
now, but it will be when I start striving to open your heart.
Dear Annie: I appreci-
dating again. I do see a coun-
ate your empathetic and help-
ful responses to those who
write to you. Recently, you
responded to “Frustrated
Friend,” who was having dif-
ficulty with someone who
talks incessantly and does not
allow any comments.
I am an experienced men-
tal health professional and
wonder whether you consid-
ered that someone who can-
not stop talking may be in a
manic phase of bipolar affec-
tive disorder. There is no way
of reasoning with or even
interrupting people who are
exhibiting these symptoms.
They should be under the care
of a psychiatrist. Medication
is the first treatment of choice,
followed by counseling. —
A Licensed Clinical Social
Worker in Sarasota, Fla.
Dear LCSW: Thank
you for raising this import-
ant point. I hadn’t considered
that it could be something
that serious, but it’s possible
and, at the very least, worth
exploring. I’m printing your
letter here so that “Frustrated
Friend” might consider help-
ing her friend seek psycho-
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). As you interact
with the people around you today, you’ll recog-
nize that this is not your average crew. There
will be enormous rewards for your gracious
management of a wide swath of traits, talents,
crotchets and flaws.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). It’s not that you
want your life to look like a magazine. But that
might be the end result as you seek a sense
of physical, visual and emotional harmony in
your environment. Much will be achieved to
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). People will ask
you the questions they wish you would ask
them. Therefore, don’t waste your time trying
to craft the right answer. Instead, turn it around
and quickly get to the point of the discourse.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). History is
like a purse you can rummage through to find
useful information and tools, such as lenses
that will change the way you see your world.
Just remember that the past is for remember-
ing or discovering, not for living in.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Can you keep your
original shape under the crushes of confor-
mity? Well, you’re not sure that you’d want to
do so. Today, you will mostly be enriched by
the influence of others. You’re too strong to be
changed very much anyway.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). An interesting
story will become even more compelling today.
The thrill you get from learning will override
any initial fear or self-consciousness you may
feel in asking questions.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Being too involved
with a person or project causes distortions
of reality; intimate knowledge of the minutiae
blinds you to the big picture. Paradoxically,
you’ll have to step back in order to get closer.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Make the choice
that feels right. You don’t know where it will
lead, and right now, no one will tell you. Unlike
a jealous sibling who might spoil a surprise
meant for you, the universe wants to delight in
your startling glee.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). When you are in
love, no words, no touch, no eyes and no em-
brace can match those of your beloved. You’ll
find yourself in a similar “no substitutions”
FRANK AND ERNEST
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
WIZARD OF ID
ROSE IS ROSE
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Information
carries no special quality within itself. It has
to be put to use to impact the world. If it is ig-
nored, it may as well not exist. For this reason,
today, you’ll be sure to act on what you know.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). It will be better
to connect your ideas than to protect them.
The involvement of supporters and challeng-
ers will speed up and sharpen your process.
Together you will leap forward, creating
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Going with the
flow is a specialty of yours, but not today.
There is a rebel inside you digging heels into
the dirt. No one can move you from this place.
You and you alone will decide when to go.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (March 29). You
are greatly and widely beloved. You’ll influence
many in a quiet, persistent way. It’s about
what you stand for. There’s no ego in your
work. You’re devoted to furthering a particular
principle or way of operating. Your best finan-
cial move may be illogical — you’ll just feel it.
There will be windfalls in July and November.
Cancer and Virgo adore you. Your lucky num-
bers are: 7, 42, 21, 29 and 38.