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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 28, 2017)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 2017 FEATURES Lying ruins relationships Dear Annie: I met and mar- simply wants an apology from ried a wonderful man 23 years her. I don’t want her in our lives ago. I found out his family has anymore. I don’t want her tell- a history of lying and manipu- ing lies and accusing our sons lation. One of his sisters goes of things or telling our daugh- beyond that. She decided days ters her personal problems. before our wedding to reveal What is the best way to handle this? — Tired of Twisted that she was abused DEAR Sister-in-Law when she was a teen- Dear Tired: It ager. Over the years, ANNIE sounds as if your sis- she has been caught in ter-in-law suffers from lies — so many lies we mental illness and the don’t know what is the death of her parents truth. She made sure to exacerbated her condi- tell all her nieces about tion. If your husband her abuse as soon as and his other siblings they turned 14 — the Lane are on board, you could age at which she was Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. try staging an interven- abused. tion with the help of a She took all her par- ents’ money and plays games licensed therapist, with the goal with her therapists. When my of her committing to a treatment husband’s parents passed away, plan. Regardless, I think you’re she decided to tell people that her dad wasn’t really her dad and wise not to let her spend time that he had abused her. She also (especially unsupervised) with said her uncle was her real father. your children. It was highly None of these people is alive to inappropriate for her to discuss defend himself. Now I’ve found abuse with 14-year-old children. out that she’s also been going She’s unpredictable, and until around saying my husband — she’s willing to get help, she’s forfeited the right to close rela- her brother — has violated her. Since my husband’s parents tionships with her nieces and died, she has cut herself off from nephews. Dear Annie: Your response us. It hurts my husband, but he 5A TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. to “Emotionally Exhausted” — whose friend “Melanie” is always complaining about the same problems — had merit, but you addressed the symptoms of the issue, not so much the cause. How about she say something like this? “Melanie, we have been friends for a long time, and it is obvious you are unhappy and frustrated with your job. I have learned over the years that ‘I need’ and ‘I want’ are dead- end thoughts with dead-end results. To make your life more satisfying, look at the situation from a different perspective. Use phrases that include ‘I choose.’ That simple shift will change the entire game and put you in control of desired outcomes. For example, ‘I choose to have a job that I like.’ ‘I choose to have a path to a career.’ Wanting achieves nothing, but choosing achieves results that serve you.” — Believe in Melanie Dear Believe: I like that “I choose” phrasing, as it drives home the point that we’re in charge of our own destinies. It’s a point we all need to be reminded of from time to time, so I’m printing it here. Thank you. ARIES (March 21-April 19). If you can win small, you can win big. You’ll do both. Along the way, you’ll also lose on either side of the equation, and that’s just part of it. The import- ant thing is to have courage and take none of it personally. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Your life is your own recipe. You may pull inspiration from various places — the internet, fiction, friends — but ultimately no one has the exact instruc- tions for this dish. It’s your own magnificent creation. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You may want to be different, but the point of the game isn’t to change yourself. This is about accepting yourself more and more fully. As you do this, you’ll become increasingly powerful. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You would pass one of your responsibilities onto another if there were someone around who could han- dle it half as well. Alas, this is important, and if it’s to be done right, it is to be done by you. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Don’t worry if your focus of interest isn’t everyone’s today. A subject doesn’t have to be broadly trending to be absolutely compelling. It only has to be fascinating to you. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Some jobs are important and urgent and must be com- pleted quickly, for better or worse, to serve the bigger picture. Other jobs are even more important and must be handled right no matter how long that takes. CANCER (June 22-July 22). The challenge is simple. The circumstance is straightforward. It’s something to be protective of because this dynamic can change in an instant — the instant a complicated person gets involved. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You may be changing the world, but it’s difficult to see the change over the course of a day. That’s where hope and faith come in and on days like today it’s hard to generate that on your own. Stick by the hopeful, faithful people. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). It’s as though there’s something in you that doesn’t like to be too good for too long. It’s the quality that keeps you absolutely riveting to some people around you. So go on and spice it up. They’re expecting you to bring the fun. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Nature is one way, the facts of which cannot be changed today. However you can use what nature gives you in a way that enhances and improves your experience. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). When people act right because they are afraid to do some- thing wrong, it doesn’t count as virtuous. The true mark of good character is one who feels they have a full range of choices and yet they still choose right. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). No one can blame you for being a little extreme today. When all goes well, drudgery will be re- deemed by success, and the parts remem- bered will be the dazzling highs and the dismal lows, not the tedium in between. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (March 1). Tender connections will happen often for you. You’ll read people well and use this gift to care for your loved ones, communicate well and detect the hidden motivations of others that might af- fect your plans. The character-building work of the spring makes you even more beautiful and attractive. Capricorn and Aries adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 9, 42, 13, 28 and 45.
