THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 2017
FEATURES
Lying ruins relationships
Dear Annie: I met and mar- simply wants an apology from
ried a wonderful man 23 years her. I don’t want her in our lives
ago. I found out his family has anymore. I don’t want her tell-
a history of lying and manipu- ing lies and accusing our sons
lation. One of his sisters goes of things or telling our daugh-
beyond that. She decided days ters her personal problems.
before our wedding to reveal What is the best way to handle
this? — Tired of Twisted
that she was abused
DEAR
Sister-in-Law
when she was a teen-
Dear Tired: It
ager. Over the years,
ANNIE
sounds as if your sis-
she has been caught in
ter-in-law suffers from
lies — so many lies we
mental illness and the
don’t know what is the
death of her parents
truth. She made sure to
exacerbated her condi-
tell all her nieces about
tion. If your husband
her abuse as soon as
and his other siblings
they turned 14 — the
Lane
are on board, you could
age at which she was Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
try staging an interven-
abused.
tion with the help of a
She took all her par-
ents’ money and plays games licensed therapist, with the goal
with her therapists. When my of her committing to a treatment
husband’s parents passed away, plan.
Regardless, I think you’re
she decided to tell people that
her dad wasn’t really her dad and wise not to let her spend time
that he had abused her. She also (especially unsupervised) with
said her uncle was her real father. your children. It was highly
None of these people is alive to inappropriate for her to discuss
defend himself. Now I’ve found abuse with 14-year-old children.
out that she’s also been going She’s unpredictable, and until
around saying my husband — she’s willing to get help, she’s
forfeited the right to close rela-
her brother — has violated her.
Since my husband’s parents tionships with her nieces and
died, she has cut herself off from nephews.
Dear Annie: Your response
us. It hurts my husband, but he
5A
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
to “Emotionally Exhausted”
— whose friend “Melanie” is
always complaining about the
same problems — had merit, but
you addressed the symptoms of
the issue, not so much the cause.
How about she say something
like this? “Melanie, we have
been friends for a long time, and
it is obvious you are unhappy
and frustrated with your job. I
have learned over the years that
‘I need’ and ‘I want’ are dead-
end thoughts with dead-end
results. To make your life more
satisfying, look at the situation
from a different perspective. Use
phrases that include ‘I choose.’
That simple shift will change
the entire game and put you in
control of desired outcomes.
For example, ‘I choose to have
a job that I like.’ ‘I choose to
have a path to a career.’ Wanting
achieves nothing, but choosing
achieves results that serve you.”
— Believe in Melanie
Dear Believe: I like that “I
choose” phrasing, as it drives
home the point that we’re in
charge of our own destinies.
It’s a point we all need to be
reminded of from time to time,
so I’m printing it here. Thank
you.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). If you can win
small, you can win big. You’ll do both. Along
the way, you’ll also lose on either side of the
equation, and that’s just part of it. The import-
ant thing is to have courage and take none of
it personally.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Your life is your
own recipe. You may pull inspiration from
various places — the internet, fiction, friends
— but ultimately no one has the exact instruc-
tions for this dish. It’s your own magnificent
creation.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You may want
to be different, but the point of the game isn’t
to change yourself. This is about accepting
yourself more and more fully. As you do this,
you’ll become increasingly powerful.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You would
pass one of your responsibilities onto another
if there were someone around who could han-
dle it half as well. Alas, this is important, and if
it’s to be done right, it is to be done by you.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Don’t worry if
your focus of interest isn’t everyone’s today.
A subject doesn’t have to be broadly trending
to be absolutely compelling. It only has to be
fascinating to you.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Some jobs
are important and urgent and must be com-
pleted quickly, for better or worse, to serve
the bigger picture. Other jobs are even more
important and must be handled right no matter
how long that takes.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). The challenge
is simple. The circumstance is straightforward.
It’s something to be protective of because
this dynamic can change in an instant — the
instant a complicated person gets involved.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You may be changing
the world, but it’s difficult to see the change
over the course of a day. That’s where hope
and faith come in and on days like today it’s
hard to generate that on your own. Stick by the
hopeful, faithful people.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). It’s as though
there’s something in you that doesn’t like to
be too good for too long. It’s the quality that
keeps you absolutely riveting to some people
around you. So go on and spice it up. They’re
expecting you to bring the fun.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Nature is one way,
the facts of which cannot be changed today.
However you can use what nature gives you
in a way that enhances and improves your
experience.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). When people
act right because they are afraid to do some-
thing wrong, it doesn’t count as virtuous. The
true mark of good character is one who feels
they have a full range of choices and yet they
still choose right.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). No one can
blame you for being a little extreme today.
When all goes well, drudgery will be re-
deemed by success, and the parts remem-
bered will be the dazzling highs and the
dismal lows, not the tedium in between.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (March 1). Tender
connections will happen often for you. You’ll
read people well and use this gift to care for
your loved ones, communicate well and detect
the hidden motivations of others that might af-
fect your plans. The character-building work of
the spring makes you even more beautiful and
attractive. Capricorn and Aries adore you. Your
lucky numbers are: 9, 42, 13, 28 and 45.