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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 16, 2017)
6A FEATURES Daughter is now abuser Dear Annie: My ex-husband if they were lovers, watching my was emotionally, verbally and reactions to their behavior. I had physically abusive, and he was a people ask me whether they were womanizer from the very begin- actually sleeping together, and to ning. So I divorced him in the be honest, I wasn’t really sure. It came to a head one night 1980s; I then kept custody of our daughter. when she was getting DEAR All was good between ready to go out with her my daughter and me for dad again while I was ANNIE 10 years — before my ex sleeping. She was going managed to work his way to leave her 18-month- back into my life with old son with me without his usual charm. I really even letting me know I thought he had changed. was baby-sitting. I woke What’s that old saying up before she left and was about a leopard? very angry when I figured Lane it out. I woke the child up I have to confess that Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. and told him Mommy was we both drank a lot. But I going bye-bye and asked seemed to be the only one at fault for everything. His abuse whether he wanted to go with got worse and worse over the her. At this point, she hit me and years. He did and said anything to knocked me down. Before I could destroy my self-esteem and cred- get up, she hit me again. Then she ibility with my friends and even called her dad, and he told me to my co-workers. He managed to get out, which I did. I went back to destroy my relationship with my work shortly after this, thank good- daughter, too. They started to hang ness, but they left me with nothing. out in the bars together, and she I had to start all over again. To this day, my daughter has started to treat me just as he did. They planned for weeks to throw never apologized for any of her me out when I temporarily lost my behavior or actions. Trust me; job, and they tried to hurt me in having your child treat you like a other ways. They would huddle in piece of garbage isn’t something corners of bars together, kissing as that’s easy to get over. She has also tried to turn everyone she knows against me ever since then, even my current husband. She is doing exactly the same things her father did. I no longer drink at all, for the record. I don’t know where to go from here. She says she has tried to have a relationship with me, but I just don’t see it happening, not with the hatefulness still coming at me. Should I try to repair the dam- age that has been done, or should I just walk completely away? If this is her way of showing love, I don’t think I want her love anymore. — Wits’ End Dear Wits’: There is, unfor- tunately, much more to hash out here than the space of this col- umn allows. But it sounds as if the years of abuse from your ex-hus- band saddled you with a lot of emotional baggage that you’re still carrying today, and I strongly recommend seeing a therapist. If you’re unable to see one in per- son, consider using BetterHelp or Talkspace. These websites con- nect patients with health care pro- fessionals via video chats, text messages and phone calls. I hope you and your daughter can build a healthy relationship together over time. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 2017 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Good rela- tionships are the most important thing to you, though lately it doesn’t feel like your life is structured in support of that end. What needs to change? Puzzle it out. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Combine a little faith with your solid work ethic to launch a project off the ground. Eliminating the con- flicts and distractions will be the hardest part. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You know what you want. So why is it sometimes so difficult to make the choice, in the moment, that will lead you to it? Perhaps you’re still not absolutely sure. Get clear and discipline will be easier. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Emotions expressed will dissipate, while emotions unexpressed will concentrate. The sweet ones become hard as old brown sugar. The bitter ones become toxic. Don’t let it happen. Speak up. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). There was a time in human evolution when survival depended on conformity. To live in solitude was to perish outside of the protection of the group. You may have to remind your primal sense that this is no longer the case. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Try not to worry so much about being who you need to be to make other people feel comfortable. You’re good at that and yes, it will work. But at what cost? You’re “people” too. Make yourself comfortable for a change. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). The way to pro- ductivity is in not doing anything that isn’t in line with the production you hope to achieve. It sounds hardcore, and it is. It all boils down to priorities. You’ll give a good think to FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE yours today. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Separate the decisions you make that may affect a rela- tionship from the relationship itself. You can feel great affection for a person and still deny that person’s request. Denying a request is not the same as denying a person. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You have a low tolerance for boredom, and this will work in your favor today as you stick with the people and projects that juice your energy and spark your intellect. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You want to do a great job for the people you serve, and it’s why you can’t serve very many people right now. It’s better to be really effective with one person than to give weakly to many. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’re not being cynical by noticing that everyone is selling something. Maybe it’s not a product. Maybe it’s just an idea about who they are. There is still the posturing of an exchange. Are you buying? PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). While you’d love to help along the work of other people, there’s something brewing in your own kitch- en that simply won’t come together unless you tend to it now and tend to it well. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Feb. 17). You’ll add more and more loving people to your circle. Even though you’re very secure and content without certain trappings, when they come your way over the next two months, accept graciously. There will be many helped by what you are able to give in May. You will work brilliantly in a team of two in June. Tau- rus and Leo adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 10, 12, 3, 39 and 14.
