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Daughter is now abuser
Dear Annie: My ex-husband if they were lovers, watching my
was emotionally, verbally and reactions to their behavior. I had
physically abusive, and he was a people ask me whether they were
womanizer from the very begin- actually sleeping together, and to
ning. So I divorced him in the be honest, I wasn’t really sure.
It came to a head one night
1980s; I then kept custody of our
daughter.
when she was getting
DEAR
All was good between
ready to go out with her
my daughter and me for
dad again while I was
ANNIE
10 years — before my ex
sleeping. She was going
managed to work his way
to leave her 18-month-
back into my life with
old son with me without
his usual charm. I really
even letting me know I
thought he had changed.
was baby-sitting. I woke
What’s that old saying
up before she left and was
about a leopard?
very angry when I figured
Lane
it out. I woke the child up
I have to confess that Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
and told him Mommy was
we both drank a lot. But I
going bye-bye and asked
seemed to be the only one
at fault for everything. His abuse whether he wanted to go with
got worse and worse over the her. At this point, she hit me and
years. He did and said anything to knocked me down. Before I could
destroy my self-esteem and cred- get up, she hit me again. Then she
ibility with my friends and even called her dad, and he told me to
my co-workers. He managed to get out, which I did. I went back to
destroy my relationship with my work shortly after this, thank good-
daughter, too. They started to hang ness, but they left me with nothing.
out in the bars together, and she I had to start all over again.
To this day, my daughter has
started to treat me just as he did.
They planned for weeks to throw never apologized for any of her
me out when I temporarily lost my behavior or actions. Trust me;
job, and they tried to hurt me in having your child treat you like a
other ways. They would huddle in piece of garbage isn’t something
corners of bars together, kissing as that’s easy to get over. She has also
tried to turn everyone she knows
against me ever since then, even
my current husband. She is doing
exactly the same things her father
did. I no longer drink at all, for the
record. I don’t know where to go
from here. She says she has tried
to have a relationship with me, but
I just don’t see it happening, not
with the hatefulness still coming at
me. Should I try to repair the dam-
age that has been done, or should I
just walk completely away? If this
is her way of showing love, I don’t
think I want her love anymore. —
Wits’ End
Dear Wits’: There is, unfor-
tunately, much more to hash out
here than the space of this col-
umn allows. But it sounds as if the
years of abuse from your ex-hus-
band saddled you with a lot of
emotional baggage that you’re
still carrying today, and I strongly
recommend seeing a therapist. If
you’re unable to see one in per-
son, consider using BetterHelp or
Talkspace. These websites con-
nect patients with health care pro-
fessionals via video chats, text
messages and phone calls. I hope
you and your daughter can build a
healthy relationship together over
time.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 2017
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Good rela-
tionships are the most important thing to
you, though lately it doesn’t feel like your life
is structured in support of that end. What
needs to change? Puzzle it out.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Combine a little
faith with your solid work ethic to launch a
project off the ground. Eliminating the con-
flicts and distractions will be the hardest part.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You know what
you want. So why is it sometimes so difficult
to make the choice, in the moment, that
will lead you to it? Perhaps you’re still not
absolutely sure. Get clear and discipline will
be easier.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Emotions
expressed will dissipate, while emotions
unexpressed will concentrate. The sweet
ones become hard as old brown sugar. The
bitter ones become toxic. Don’t let it happen.
Speak up.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). There was a time in
human evolution when survival depended on
conformity. To live in solitude was to perish
outside of the protection of the group. You
may have to remind your primal sense that
this is no longer the case.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Try not to worry
so much about being who you need to be to
make other people feel comfortable. You’re
good at that and yes, it will work. But at what
cost? You’re “people” too. Make yourself
comfortable for a change.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). The way to pro-
ductivity is in not doing anything that isn’t in
line with the production you hope to achieve.
It sounds hardcore, and it is. It all boils down
to priorities. You’ll give a good think to
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
yours today.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Separate the
decisions you make that may affect a rela-
tionship from the relationship itself. You can
feel great affection for a person and still deny
that person’s request. Denying a request is
not the same as denying a person.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You have
a low tolerance for boredom, and this will
work in your favor today as you stick with the
people and projects that juice your energy
and spark your intellect.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You want to
do a great job for the people you serve, and
it’s why you can’t serve very many people
right now. It’s better to be really effective with
one person than to give weakly to many.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’re not
being cynical by noticing that everyone is
selling something. Maybe it’s not a product.
Maybe it’s just an idea about who they are.
There is still the posturing of an exchange.
Are you buying?
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). While you’d
love to help along the work of other people,
there’s something brewing in your own kitch-
en that simply won’t come together unless
you tend to it now and tend to it well.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Feb. 17). You’ll
add more and more loving people to your
circle. Even though you’re very secure and
content without certain trappings, when they
come your way over the next two months,
accept graciously. There will be many helped
by what you are able to give in May. You will
work brilliantly in a team of two in June. Tau-
rus and Leo adore you. Your lucky numbers
are: 10, 12, 3, 39 and 14.