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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 8, 2016)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, DECEMBER 8, 2016 FEATURES Too busy to be a friend Dear Annie: I have Type 2 dia- handed bad news that is too much betes, and I went through a near- for us to handle, our minds set- death experience this summer — tle on lesser problems that we can with kidney failure, congestive focus our grief and anger on. This heart failure and other problems. I made a lot of sense to me. I cannot had to have surgery. While I recov- wrap my head around dying, so I ered in the hospital, my son brought can be angry with my self-absorbed friends. me my laptop. I posted my DEAR But what should I do? story on Facebook. Jill was a good friend. While my other friends ANNIE She may have a chip on were offering messages of her shoulder about having sympathy over my illness, flunked grad school while my friend “Jill” was post- some of us went on to have ing about an art show she exciting tech jobs. She was having. She paid no found her niche later in life, attention to my post. After maybe in her 50s, and has a couple of weeks, I tex- Lane fallen into a habit of dis- ted her husband, “Jack,” Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. missing those of us who are and asked whether Jill had retired. — Miffed seen my post. I repeated Dear Miffed: Yes, you’re prob- my whole story. He said that Jill was too busy to talk, that she had ably focusing so much on Jill an upcoming art show and their son because it’s easier to be angry at was getting married. After another something tangible. You hit that couple of weeks, I texted, “How square on the head. Then you went was the wedding?” I found that the right back to resenting her. You need to break this cycle wedding was not for another two weeks. Yet Jill has not said anything of blame and judgment — not for Jill’s sake but for your own. When about my brush with death. I still have a tiny amount of recovering from surgery and bat- fluid in my pericardium, and my tling chronic illness, attitude is left ventricle is still enlarged. What everything. Start a gratitude jour- happened in June could recur, and nal, and list 10 things you’re grate- next time, I might not be so lucky. ful for every morning. Spend time I recently read that when we are with friends and family who make you feel loved. Jill may come around eventually and apologize for not being there. She may not. Your mood can’t depend on it. Forgive her in your heart and free yourself to experi- ence more joy. I wish you good health. Dear Annie: A woman wrote to you asking for advice on how to deal with a husband who rarely showers or changes his clothes. You recommended that the wife (or a doctor) provide information that might get the husband to change his ways. You missed the mark. The wife needs to take an active approach. With men (in general), actions speak much louder than words. Assuming that he does not sleep in his clothes, the wife needs to gather up his clothes once he has taken them off and put them in the wash. He will have no choice but to wear clean clothes every day. Further, she should decline to be intimate with him unless he has showered that day. Finally, if their house layout allows, she should sleep in another room. If she takes those three steps, she will both improve the quality of her life immediately and, I suspect, change his showering frequency in very short order. 5A TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). You’ll be presented with the possibility of a different kind of working arrangement. Keep an open mind, because at first this may not sound like what you had in mind. This one is (so) worth a try! SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Laziness can lead to inventing an easier way. Anger can motivate change. Fear can promote safety; sadness can inspire bonding; restlessness is the precursor to adventure. Whatever you’re feeling, there’s a benefit to it. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Now they say, “I can’t believe you went there.” The truth is that you’ve always been “there”; it’s just that now you’re no longer willing to keep it to yourself. It will feel good to express your true thoughts. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Some- times the kindest thing isn’t the nicest thing. Besides, maybe you’re better suited to do the thing that challenges people, makes them think or makes them laugh. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Opposing forces can provide interesting tension, or they can pull so hard they tear things asunder. Why risk it? Avoid getting caught in the middle of a contest of strong wills. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Don’t assume the people around you are on the same page. Future hassle can be avoided by explaining things better than you think you should have to. While you’re at it, ask ques- tions to make sure they’re really catching on. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Be careful not to get so caught up in the minutiae of practical con- cerns that you ignore the feelings that are really driving this scene. There’s more to gain by tuning into the emotional world of others. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Even those who love you very much may not understand you as well as you like. Relationships can be like fun-house mirrors that reflect back a warped and distorted version of you. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). There will be a reward for impressing that certain so-and-so. No need to posture, perform or stretch the truth in the least. Nothing is more interesting than the real deal. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). How do you get to the root of a problem? You dig. Expect resistance, but don’t let it deter you. The hard ground can be cracked with more substantial tools. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). The right thing to do might not be readily apparent, but that’s what the wise one is for. Use this person. If you can’t find this person, use the internet. You should be able to come up with a solution by sundown. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). The fair price for goods or services isn’t always the price being offered. There are long-reach- ing benefits to paying what’s fair, even if it means giving more than is being asked of your wallet. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Dec. 9). You’ll do your best work when the pressure is on; in fact, you could even earn a prestigious award for it. Your dealings with a foreigner could inspire you to travel. March, April and October are your prime months for financial opportunity. Love is your weakness in Febru- ary, your strength in May. Leo and Capricorn adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 26, 45, 31, 28 and 15.
