THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, DECEMBER 8, 2016
FEATURES
Too busy to be a friend
Dear Annie: I have Type 2 dia- handed bad news that is too much
betes, and I went through a near- for us to handle, our minds set-
death experience this summer — tle on lesser problems that we can
with kidney failure, congestive focus our grief and anger on. This
heart failure and other problems. I made a lot of sense to me. I cannot
had to have surgery. While I recov- wrap my head around dying, so I
ered in the hospital, my son brought can be angry with my self-absorbed
friends.
me my laptop. I posted my
DEAR
But what should I do?
story on Facebook.
Jill was a good friend.
While my other friends
ANNIE
She may have a chip on
were offering messages of
her shoulder about having
sympathy over my illness,
flunked grad school while
my friend “Jill” was post-
some of us went on to have
ing about an art show she
exciting tech jobs. She
was having. She paid no
found her niche later in life,
attention to my post. After
maybe in her 50s, and has
a couple of weeks, I tex-
Lane
fallen into a habit of dis-
ted her husband, “Jack,” Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
missing those of us who are
and asked whether Jill had
retired. — Miffed
seen my post. I repeated
Dear Miffed: Yes, you’re prob-
my whole story. He said that Jill
was too busy to talk, that she had ably focusing so much on Jill
an upcoming art show and their son because it’s easier to be angry at
was getting married. After another something tangible. You hit that
couple of weeks, I texted, “How square on the head. Then you went
was the wedding?” I found that the right back to resenting her.
You need to break this cycle
wedding was not for another two
weeks. Yet Jill has not said anything of blame and judgment — not for
Jill’s sake but for your own. When
about my brush with death.
I still have a tiny amount of recovering from surgery and bat-
fluid in my pericardium, and my tling chronic illness, attitude is
left ventricle is still enlarged. What everything. Start a gratitude jour-
happened in June could recur, and nal, and list 10 things you’re grate-
next time, I might not be so lucky. ful for every morning. Spend time
I recently read that when we are with friends and family who make
you feel loved.
Jill may come around eventually
and apologize for not being there.
She may not. Your mood can’t
depend on it. Forgive her in your
heart and free yourself to experi-
ence more joy. I wish you good
health.
Dear Annie: A woman wrote
to you asking for advice on how
to deal with a husband who rarely
showers or changes his clothes. You
recommended that the wife (or a
doctor) provide information that
might get the husband to change
his ways. You missed the mark.
The wife needs to take an active
approach.
With men (in general), actions
speak much louder than words.
Assuming that he does not sleep in
his clothes, the wife needs to gather
up his clothes once he has taken
them off and put them in the wash.
He will have no choice but to wear
clean clothes every day. Further, she
should decline to be intimate with
him unless he has showered that
day. Finally, if their house layout
allows, she should sleep in another
room. If she takes those three steps,
she will both improve the quality of
her life immediately and, I suspect,
change his showering frequency in
very short order.
5A
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). You’ll be
presented with the possibility of a different
kind of working arrangement. Keep an open
mind, because at first this may not sound
like what you had in mind. This one is (so)
worth a try!
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Laziness can
lead to inventing an easier way. Anger can
motivate change. Fear can promote safety;
sadness can inspire bonding; restlessness is
the precursor to adventure. Whatever you’re
feeling, there’s a benefit to it.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Now they say,
“I can’t believe you went there.” The truth is
that you’ve always been “there”; it’s just that
now you’re no longer willing to keep it to
yourself. It will feel good to express your true
thoughts.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Some-
times the kindest thing isn’t the nicest thing.
Besides, maybe you’re better suited to do the
thing that challenges people, makes them
think or makes them laugh.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Opposing forces
can provide interesting tension, or they can
pull so hard they tear things asunder. Why
risk it? Avoid getting caught in the middle of
a contest of strong wills.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Don’t assume
the people around you are on the same
page. Future hassle can be avoided by
explaining things better than you think you
should have to. While you’re at it, ask ques-
tions to make sure they’re really catching on.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Be careful not to get
so caught up in the minutiae of practical con-
cerns that you ignore the feelings that are
really driving this scene. There’s more to gain
by tuning into the emotional world of others.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Even those who
love you very much may not understand you
as well as you like. Relationships can be like
fun-house mirrors that reflect back a warped
and distorted version of you.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). There will be a
reward for impressing that certain so-and-so.
No need to posture, perform or stretch the
truth in the least. Nothing is more interesting
than the real deal.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). How do
you get to the root of a problem? You dig.
Expect resistance, but don’t let it deter you.
The hard ground can be cracked with more
substantial tools.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). The right
thing to do might not be readily apparent,
but that’s what the wise one is for. Use this
person. If you can’t find this person, use the
internet. You should be able to come up with
a solution by sundown.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). The fair
price for goods or services isn’t always the
price being offered. There are long-reach-
ing benefits to paying what’s fair, even if it
means giving more than is being asked of
your wallet.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Dec. 9). You’ll
do your best work when the pressure is on;
in fact, you could even earn a prestigious
award for it. Your dealings with a foreigner
could inspire you to travel. March, April and
October are your prime months for financial
opportunity. Love is your weakness in Febru-
ary, your strength in May. Leo and Capricorn
adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 26, 45,
31, 28 and 15.