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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 10, 2016)
FEATURES 6A Longtime widow ready to date Dear Annie: It has been two years since my husband of 25 years passed away. He was my best friend. We did everything together. My children have been amaz- ingly supportive to me. They are always including me with their own families for dinners, with going to church, etc. Neither my son nor my daughter has even hinted at this, but lately I feel like a bit of a burden. I am in my mid-50s and feel as if I am ready to start dating again. My daughter told me about a sin- gles group at her church. Well, I went to one meeting, and it was all women, with only one man in the group — who was only showing interest in the 35-year-old; go fig- ure. I just feel that men my own age are looking for someone younger. I am ready to just give up and be alone for the rest of my life. — Lonely Widow in California Dear Lonely: True, it might be a little more challenging to meet someone now than when you were in your 20s. But it is by no means impossible, so don’t give up so easily. First, I suggest you check out online dating sites. Find the sites that seem right for you, and ask your children to help you set up your profile, if you need help. I’m Dear Annie By Annie Lane Creators Syndicate Inc. sure they would be excited. If you’re really not comfortable with online dating, just telling your friends and family that you are now open to dating could open doors for you. It’s time to spread the word. Dear Annie: Do not always take letters at face value and make assumptions. I am that daughter described in the letter from “Miss- ing Her,” the 82-year-old mother who lamented that her daughter hasn’t spoken to her in 12 years. For years, I was the family scapegoat. I was called “trouble- some” and “always prickly.” Every time I did something good, my par- ents took credit for it. (I got into a prestigious university because my mother took the application to the post office, for example.) Anything bad and I was going to kill my mother with the grief I caused. When I asked my parents to stop doing things that were hurtful to me, they would say such things as, “How dare you tell us what to do? We’re your parents.” I was dragged to counseling, but when- ever the therapist suggested my parents could change some of their relationship techniques, the therapy sessions were somehow no lon- ger “working” or “convenient” and were stopped. After decades of this, I finally decided that I had had enough and stopped responding to them. They have not once reached out to ask what they could do to repair the relationship, nor have they apol- ogized for past wrongs or in any way offered to work toward a bet- ter relationship. Instead, they write long, chatty letters that are all about them and pretend that there is noth- ing amiss. In these circumstances, Annie, you have the gall to say that I seem “quick to burn bridges rather than repair them”? My opinion, Annie, is that rather than just support what this “poor, victimized” woman wants to hear, you could perhaps present the possibility that there is another side to the story. — Griev- ing for the Relationship I Couldn’t Have THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 2016 Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Mystical ex- perience cannot be communicated in words, but the poetry that swirls around it in the at- tempt can be most effective in changing the state of both the listener and the speaker. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Helping your friends is the most natural thing in the world for you, but mushy stuff makes you uncom- fortable. The occasion calls for you to ex- press your love. Speak from the heart and you’ll do fine. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Some believe the mind exists in the body, while others say it’s animating the body from somewhere up in the cloud. Either way, as a being with men- tal capacities, the way you take care of your body changes your mind and vice versa. CANCER (June 22-July 22). A clearing process will begin as you try to make room for a newly kindling passion. The elements of your life that do not serve an obvious function will be up for scrutiny. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). To truly understand the range of your ability, sometimes it takes a crisis. Not today. You’ll push yourself to find your personal best just for the sheer fun of it. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’ll be asked about your work. To the wise and perceptive ear, your answers will be very telling. You might just surprise yourself with your own an- swers and learn something you didn’t know before. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). To be impres- sive, all you have to do is relax and act on your natural impulses. In other words, be you. When you’re doing what’s genuinely fun for you, you’ll bring energy and excitement to others. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). The more FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE time you spend doing the thing you really love, the less appealing your former routine becomes. Something about this has got to give in the near future. Are you planning for that now? SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). When you take your business to the next level, your personal life improves, and when you take your personal life to the next level, your business improves. As long as you’re aiming upward with something, you’re golden. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Over time, people will establish a pattern of behav- ior with you. Once you lock into that pattern, blame and credit are kind of a moot point. If they disappoint, that’s on you. If they excel, you expect that, too. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Your intu- ition might defy logic, but it will be right. That said, it’s important to differentiate between intuition, which is proactive, mostly calm and generally peaceful, and paranoia, which is fearful, jittery and sickening. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You don’t need expensive tools to be creative, but the right tool certainly has the power to inspire you. Consider borrowing, renting or trading in order to try things out before making a big investment. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Nov. 11). Blessings rain down like cosmic confetti. You’ve an inkling this is because of the help you’ve given in the past, and you’ll accept the gifts with grace, though you’ll keep paying them forward. Family expands in December, and you’ll be a role model for those young- er. Sweetness and excitement pepper your spring. Pisces and Gemini adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 13, 9, 27, 41 and 49.
