FEATURES
6A
Longtime widow ready to date
Dear Annie: It has been two
years since my husband of 25
years passed away. He was my best
friend. We did everything together.
My children have been amaz-
ingly supportive to me. They are
always including me with their own
families for dinners, with going to
church, etc. Neither my son nor my
daughter has even hinted at this, but
lately I feel like a bit of a burden.
I am in my mid-50s and feel as
if I am ready to start dating again.
My daughter told me about a sin-
gles group at her church. Well, I
went to one meeting, and it was all
women, with only one man in the
group — who was only showing
interest in the 35-year-old; go fig-
ure. I just feel that men my own age
are looking for someone younger.
I am ready to just give up and be
alone for the rest of my life. —
Lonely Widow in California
Dear Lonely: True, it might be
a little more challenging to meet
someone now than when you were
in your 20s. But it is by no means
impossible, so don’t give up so
easily.
First, I suggest you check out
online dating sites. Find the sites
that seem right for you, and ask
your children to help you set up
your profile, if you need help. I’m
Dear Annie
By
Annie
Lane
Creators
Syndicate
Inc.
sure they would be excited.
If you’re really not comfortable
with online dating, just telling your
friends and family that you are now
open to dating could open doors for
you. It’s time to spread the word.
Dear Annie: Do not always
take letters at face value and make
assumptions. I am that daughter
described in the letter from “Miss-
ing Her,” the 82-year-old mother
who lamented that her daughter
hasn’t spoken to her in 12 years.
For years, I was the family
scapegoat. I was called “trouble-
some” and “always prickly.” Every
time I did something good, my par-
ents took credit for it. (I got into a
prestigious university because my
mother took the application to the
post office, for example.) Anything
bad and I was going to kill my
mother with the grief I caused.
When I asked my parents to
stop doing things that were hurtful
to me, they would say such things
as, “How dare you tell us what to
do? We’re your parents.” I was
dragged to counseling, but when-
ever the therapist suggested my
parents could change some of their
relationship techniques, the therapy
sessions were somehow no lon-
ger “working” or “convenient” and
were stopped.
After decades of this, I finally
decided that I had had enough and
stopped responding to them. They
have not once reached out to ask
what they could do to repair the
relationship, nor have they apol-
ogized for past wrongs or in any
way offered to work toward a bet-
ter relationship. Instead, they write
long, chatty letters that are all about
them and pretend that there is noth-
ing amiss.
In these circumstances, Annie,
you have the gall to say that I seem
“quick to burn bridges rather than
repair them”? My opinion, Annie,
is that rather than just support what
this “poor, victimized” woman
wants to hear, you could perhaps
present the possibility that there is
another side to the story. — Griev-
ing for the Relationship I Couldn’t
Have
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 2016
Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Mystical ex-
perience cannot be communicated in words,
but the poetry that swirls around it in the at-
tempt can be most effective in changing the
state of both the listener and the speaker.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Helping your
friends is the most natural thing in the world
for you, but mushy stuff makes you uncom-
fortable. The occasion calls for you to ex-
press your love. Speak from the heart and
you’ll do fine.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Some believe
the mind exists in the body, while others say
it’s animating the body from somewhere up
in the cloud. Either way, as a being with men-
tal capacities, the way you take care of your
body changes your mind and vice versa.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). A clearing
process will begin as you try to make room
for a newly kindling passion. The elements of
your life that do not serve an obvious function
will be up for scrutiny.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). To truly understand
the range of your ability, sometimes it takes
a crisis. Not today. You’ll push yourself to find
your personal best just for the sheer fun of it.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’ll be asked
about your work. To the wise and perceptive
ear, your answers will be very telling. You
might just surprise yourself with your own an-
swers and learn something you didn’t know
before.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). To be impres-
sive, all you have to do is relax and act on
your natural impulses. In other words, be you.
When you’re doing what’s genuinely fun for
you, you’ll bring energy and excitement to
others.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). The more
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
time you spend doing the thing you really
love, the less appealing your former routine
becomes. Something about this has got to
give in the near future. Are you planning for
that now?
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). When
you take your business to the next level,
your personal life improves, and when you
take your personal life to the next level, your
business improves. As long as you’re aiming
upward with something, you’re golden.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Over
time, people will establish a pattern of behav-
ior with you. Once you lock into that pattern,
blame and credit are kind of a moot point. If
they disappoint, that’s on you. If they excel,
you expect that, too.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Your intu-
ition might defy logic, but it will be right. That
said, it’s important to differentiate between
intuition, which is proactive, mostly calm and
generally peaceful, and paranoia, which is
fearful, jittery and sickening.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You don’t
need expensive tools to be creative, but the
right tool certainly has the power to inspire
you. Consider borrowing, renting or trading in
order to try things out before making a big
investment.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Nov. 11).
Blessings rain down like cosmic confetti.
You’ve an inkling this is because of the help
you’ve given in the past, and you’ll accept the
gifts with grace, though you’ll keep paying
them forward. Family expands in December,
and you’ll be a role model for those young-
er. Sweetness and excitement pepper your
spring. Pisces and Gemini adore you. Your
lucky numbers are: 13, 9, 27, 41 and 49.