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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 11, 2016)
FEATURES 6A Should mom confront her? Dear Annie: My daughter-in-law is telling people that she is cheating on my son and that they are so far in debt they should ile for bankruptcy. The person she told came to me and told me this. I have been trying to igure out how to handle the situation. I feel as if I cannot just sit and do nothing. I thought I would go to my son and advise him to look into their inances and say nothing about the cheating. Now I am thinking about go- ing to my daughter-in-law and saying to her, “I know about the affairs and your money troubles, and if you do not come clean and tell my son, I am going to.” As you can see, I am really upset and do not know what my next move should be. Please help me. — Uneasy Mother-in-Law Dear Uneasy: Consider the source. Would your daughter-in-law really have conided such a dark se- cret in someone who was likely to go to you with it? Recall those games of telephone when you were younger. “My dad likes to play tennis” could easily become “The cat biked to the dentist.” It’s very possible something has been lost in translation here. Let your son and his wife know you’re there if they need to talk, but don’t confront them with shoddy accu- sations. It’s understandable that you’re protective of your son, but at the same time, there may be nothing to be pro- Dear Annie By Annie Lane Creators Syndicate Inc. tective of, and if you confronted them, you’d risk losing your son and daugh- ter-in-law in one fell swoop. Keep your lips sealed. In real-life games of tele- phone, everyone loses. Dear Annie: My mother is in her 70s now and seems to be increasingly judging people solely on their looks. I love her dearly, and she has al- ways been pretty bright, so I can’t fully understand her obsession with how ev- eryone looks. She delights in mention- ing who is fat, who looks old, etc., and it’s getting hard to be around her. Perhaps not so surprisingly, she herself has let herself go and is at such an unhealthy weight, she can barely walk, so the judging of others is most likely coming from insecurities and the fact that she really dislikes the way she looks. But how do I tell her we don’t need to hear this nonstop judging? — Son of Debbie Downer Dear Son: As the saying goes, when you point a inger at someone, there are three ingers pointing back at you. You’re right that her insecurities are probably the real motivation be- hind her making these cruel remarks. Rather than directly point out what she’s doing or let yourself snap back in anger, try building her up. The more positive she feels about herself the less negative she’ll feel about others. It’s taxing to be around someone who’s always in a sour mood, so be sure to take care of yourself and spend time socializing with plenty of other people so your perspective isn’t too warped. Negativity is contagious. Dear Annie: This is in response to “Stuck at a Crossroads,” the woman who is upset that her long-term boy- friend doesn’t want her to tag along across the country when he goes to live with his parents because his mom is sick. You should have added: Do you want to live with his parents and help change diapers, clean up after bathroom accidents and be on call night and day for taking one to the emergency room? It is not romantic, and that is why he said no to your moving there. He can- not be your boyfriend and be their son/ caretaker right now. You would never see him. Caretakers seldom have time off. He does not need you to take care of or worry about right now. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • THURSDAY, AUGUST 11, 2016 Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). You find some small reason to celebrate, and suddenly you’ve this irresistible party energy around you. Happy people will be attracted to your high vibration. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Your great work will not be the result of a flash of inspiration. It will be the culmination of dozens of experi- ments then hundreds of exercises to hone and tweak them. Try to be patient as you follow your curiosity. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Upon entering a room, it’s natural to assume that everyone in- side already knows one another, but of course this isn’t usually the case. A small amount of boldness is all it will take to make new friends. CANCER (June 22-July 22). There was a time you needed someone more than you do now. It doesn’t mean that you were using this person before (maybe a little). Anyway, your efforts in the relationship will mean more now because they are selfless. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Feelings are not facts. Feelings grab your attention and your mind immediately takes on the work of making sense of it — filling in a story to explain why, a theory, any theory, valid or not. Don’t overreact! VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Interests are, of course, a natural basis for friendship, but how are you to meet these new friends who share your interests unless you take some initiative and go to the meetup where they are hanging out? LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You like people who are curious like you. This always leads to riveting conversation. You also like resolved people who don’t have to ask so many ques- tions. Today brings a good balance between the two types. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Do not mistak- FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE enly think that if you get this or that out of the way, you’ll finally have peace. Your peace is not being impeded by “this or that,” so much as the machinations of your mind, which can also be trained toward tranquility. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Questions of authority arise. Who is to say? Who calls the shots? Whose opinion matters? Who gets the final word? The obvious answers are wrong. Look deeper. Power can be tricky and secre- tive. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). The very ambition that causes you to want to be at a higher peak might be preventing you from see- ing your situation from the better vantage point. The only way is to shake off your desire, fear and ego. Be the moment. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). When you think of the other person as an adversary, the gap between your positions seems ever so wide. But is this person really the enemy? With all you have in common, you could be fighting for a shared goal. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Travels and ad- ventures are on your mind, though you wonder if all the fun is in the fantasy of this. There are pains and inconveniences involved in making this real. Is it worth it? Only you can answer that. FRIDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 12). Life is cu- mulative. What you now consider to be some of your most valuable experiences were at one time stories you didn’t want to tell. Because of your open mind and embracing heart, many re- splendent happenings unfold before the year is over. Take your impressive earnings and invest them in the February project. Pisces and Libra adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 6, 2, 1, 14 and 9.