Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (May 31, 2016)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, MAY 31, 2016 FEATURES Tomorrow’s horoscope Grandpa upset about visit Dear Annie: When my wife and I took a trip to Canada, my grand- daughter and her live-in boyfriend at the time called to ask for permission to spend a week in our house, which is near a beach. My wife said OK. This upset me for two reasons: We had $100,000 in precious met- als in the house and I was con- cerned about theft. I had never met this boyfriend. Also, to have someone stay in our house for a week without us there seemed like an invasion of privacy. I was not happy about my wife’s decision, but went along with it to prevent bad feelings. This granddaughter later mar- ried the boyfriend and they had a child. It turned out he was an alco- holic and when drunk, he threat- ened to kill her and the baby. She brought the baby and our son-in- law (her father), and stayed in our house for a few days, again when we weren’t home. They didn’t ask permission this time. My son-in- law has a key. We knew she was escaping the potential abuse, so we said nothing. Last Christmas, I brought up the subject of people staying in my house when I’m not there. Now, neither our granddaughter nor her parents are speaking to us. We’ve Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar called them several times, but they don’t pick up and never return our calls. My daughter is bipolar and has been hostile toward me for many years, mainly because I did not divorce her mother, whom she hated. When her mother died 25 years ago, she transferred that hatred to me, even though my cur- rent wife and I always have been friendly and kind to my daughter and her family. So here’s my question: Am I justiied, according to social behav- ior, in objecting to relatives stay- ing in our home when we are not there? I would never stay in any- one’s home without their permis- sion. — Joe in California Dear Joe: Having people in your house when you aren’t home is a personal choice. Your wife gave permission the irst time, 5A By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. which means your complaint should have been directed at her, not your grandchild. (It might also be a good idea to put highly valu- able items in a bank safety deposit box.) And while we agree that no one should stay in your house with- out permission, running away from an abusive spouse is a pretty good reason to show up unexpectedly in a safe place to which you have a key. Your daughter and her family are not responding kindly or ratio- nally, but you also don’t seem to be dealing with them in a productive way. Ask your daughter whether she would be willing to go with you for counseling to resolve this and work on having a better rela- tionship in the future. It seems worth a try. Dear Annie: I have a different response to “Waking Up,” whose friend talks too much. I have a friend who does this. She is a stay-at-home mom and needs to talk to an adult. The rest of her friends work outside the home and have social lives. So when I know I have an hour to spare, I will phone her and just let her talk. This is called “being a friend.” And eventually, she gets around to ask- ing me about my life. — M ARIES (March 21-April 19). When you feel happy, comfortable and fun you put out an energy everyone wants to cozy up to. It will take an effort to put yourself in that mood, but just do it. If not for you then for the general public! TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Think about what you want to happen and keep heading in the direction of that outcome. The more you envision happiness for you and your crew, the better your odds will be of actually living it. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’ll enjoy learning the needs, interests, beliefs and values of others, and you’ll grow in influence as you try to get to know the people involved in making decisions that affect your life. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Tasks involve more details than you anticipated, and your workload will be more intense than expected as well. That’s actually good news, because the thoroughly engaging dynamic will bring out your best. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). There’s nothing to fear about tomorrow, especially when all the power you need will be gained from your fo- cus on the moment now, or at least the mo- ment as close to now as you can get. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Storytelling is a skill that will enhance almost every area of your life these days. There is a prize to be won by the one who is most able to talk about the situation in an engaging and com- pelling way. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). What you are experiencing is not uncommon and yet your experience of it is totally unique. None feel it as you do. And although you don’t need a label for your emotions, it might help you to come up with one. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Just like in the movies, someone (or some big event) will come along to knock you off of your feet. Not today. Today brings little nudges and pokes in certain direction, all worth taking seriously. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Are you the bug or the windshield? Are you eating the bear, or is the bear eating you? The an- swers to these questions are not always as clear as you want them to be. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). The rea- son people follow you today is because they realize that wherever you go, that’s where the fun will be. You’ll get much proof of your influence. Now, how will you use it? AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). It turns out that common courtesies aren’t common to everyone, and you can substitute the word “courtesies” with sense, knowledge and law, while you’re at it. Assume and expect noth- ing and you’ll be just fine. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Over-famil- iarity is not good for relationships. When common courtesies go out the window it’s a signal to distance yourself. How far should you step back? You need enough space to build a mystery. WEDNESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (June 1). You’ve learned how to play it cool and that’s what you’ll do over the next 10 weeks, to fantastic results. You’ll let love come to you and that love will be stronger because the other person made the reach. You’ll beautify your environment in June and then leave it for an August adventure. Vows and contracts are featured in September. Aries and Virgo adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 30, 11, 17, 5 and 19.