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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (April 12, 2016)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, APRIL 12, 2016 FEATURES Tomorrow’s horoscope Gabbing ruins friendship Dear Annie: I spent two hours on the phone yesterday with a friend who can talk nonstop and rarely requires a response. I have another friend like this, and it’s exhausting. I’ve seen letters in your column from other readers complaining about this, and you often suggest that the talkers might have a hear- ing problem. I disagree. These peo- ple joke about their “loud mouths,” have never complained of any KHDULQJ GLI¿FXOWLHV DQG VHHP WR hear when they want to. One friend mentioned that she no longer has much of a social life, but I didn’t bother to tell her why. “Sally” pretends to be interested in me and my kids and will ask ques- tions, but if my answer is longer than 15 seconds, she interrupts. $QG,KDYHWR\HOORYHUKHUWR¿Q- ish a sentence. I wonder if either of them will see themselves in this letter and at least attempt to change. I’ve heard of “listening classes” that can teach people how to actively listen. For now, I’ve got plenty of other friends who care enough to listen, so I’ve given up on the others. — Middle Aged and Finally Waking Up Dear Waking Up: Hearing Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar problems are only one possibil- ity for those who, over time, begin to talk nonstop. Another possibil- ity, of course, is self-involvement or perhaps a fear that they won’t remember what they intend to say if they don’t say it immediately. So they interrupt and talk over you. People who do this rarely recog- nize their actions. It is your choice to end the friendship over such annoying behavior. But how much kinder it would be to gently point out to Sally why this bothers you, and to remind her when she does it again. You could regain the friend- ship, and help Sally be a better lis- tener. What do you have to lose? Dear Annie: I’d like to pro- vide a different perspective for “I’d Like My Wife Back Please,” who has been married for 25 years and his wife suddenly hates him. He mentioned that she had been exer- cising quite a bit and had totally changed her diet. I was married for 28 years. My husband was controlling, abusive with our children and wouldn’t keep a job. As the kids left the nest, I realized that I was going to be living with this man for the rest of my life. It scared me to death. I couldn’t stand it any lon- ger. I turned the corner and knew WKHPDUULDJHZDV¿QLVKHG,¶PVXUH my husband thought it was a sud- den change, but it had been build- ing for years. I’ve come to realize, as women, that we do what we have to do. We raise our kids, we go to work or stay home, whatever. But the bottom line is, when we are done, we’re done. And it sounds like she is done. To this day, my ex doesn’t think he ever did anything wrong. — Happily Ever After Dear Happily: It’s true that problems can fester and, over time, can destroy a marriage. When they are addressed early on, the relation- ship can often be salvaged because both parties are aware of the issues and are working on them. This is why we so often recommend coun- seling. But when one person suf- fers in silence, the result is built-up resentment and despair. 5A By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). You’re always nice to those who are older, younger or weaker than you in any way. The kindness you dole out today will make a bigger differ- ence in someone’s life than you might guess. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Unnecessary purchases go masquerading as necessary ones. How will you know the difference? Go without and see what happens. Later you’ll have the money to invest in something that will bring real richness. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Are sensual cravings a gift from heaven or an enticement toward a lesser version of the self? It is not easy to manage the want for delight against the need for spiritual evolution, but you’ll achieve a good balance today. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You’ve a tal- ent for getting to the source of the problem. When you speak to the core of a situation, confusing and unpleasant symptoms disap- pear. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Happiness leaves no scar. If only it did! There is so much joy to be had in recollection. Take a souvenir from today’s happy experience. This sweetness must be remembered! VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). The extra time and effort you put into your look is not something you do out of vanity; rather, it’s in the spirit of altruism. Whatever you can do to make yourself a source of delight is a gift that you bring to the world. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Why struggle against worldly ambitions? You want what you want; there’s a reason. Accept that some of the things you want don’t seem like a spir- itual ideal, but this is where you’re at right now. What’s to be learned from it? FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). When you’re not sure if you should chime in or not, con- sider the very important role of silence. See if some well-spaced pauses might further your purposes. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You’ve the courage to try for your exciting goal; then again, a lot of people have that much courage. Do you also have the courage to try again? And then another time? That’s the rare courage it will take to succeed. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). While doing work you love, you’re compelled to put more time and thought into each step. This is why you’ll wind up in a completely different place than the others who started out with you on this project. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). When good friends want to spend time with you, they won’t care about the details that go with it. The environment, food and entertainment involved doesn’t matter much, so don’t stress over it. What they want is you. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). If you’re go- ing to compare yourself to another person (not advised, but hey, it happens) at least be fair enough not to measure the other per- son’s best result next to your work in prog- ress. WEDNESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (April 13). You’ll put a fair amount of time into develop- ing your inner world this year and it’s a wor- thy effort; so much of your external life will follow your mind’s echo. Reading, spiritual study and travel will all play into your enrich- ment. You’ll be tested in July, and your high score leads to a new responsibility in August. Leo and Cancer adore you. Your lucky num- bers are: 5, 23, 19, 42 and 6.
