THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, APRIL 12, 2016
FEATURES
Tomorrow’s horoscope
Gabbing ruins friendship
Dear Annie: I spent two hours
on the phone yesterday with a
friend who can talk nonstop and
rarely requires a response. I have
another friend like this, and it’s
exhausting.
I’ve seen letters in your column
from other readers complaining
about this, and you often suggest
that the talkers might have a hear-
ing problem. I disagree. These peo-
ple joke about their “loud mouths,”
have never complained of any
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hear when they want to.
One friend mentioned that she
no longer has much of a social life,
but I didn’t bother to tell her why.
“Sally” pretends to be interested in
me and my kids and will ask ques-
tions, but if my answer is longer
than 15 seconds, she interrupts.
$QG,KDYHWR\HOORYHUKHUWR¿Q-
ish a sentence.
I wonder if either of them will
see themselves in this letter and at
least attempt to change. I’ve heard
of “listening classes” that can
teach people how to actively listen.
For now, I’ve got plenty of other
friends who care enough to listen,
so I’ve given up on the others. —
Middle Aged and Finally Waking
Up
Dear Waking Up: Hearing
Annie’s
Mailbox
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
Kathy
Mitchell and
Marcy Sugar
problems are only one possibil-
ity for those who, over time, begin
to talk nonstop. Another possibil-
ity, of course, is self-involvement
or perhaps a fear that they won’t
remember what they intend to say
if they don’t say it immediately. So
they interrupt and talk over you.
People who do this rarely recog-
nize their actions. It is your choice
to end the friendship over such
annoying behavior. But how much
kinder it would be to gently point
out to Sally why this bothers you,
and to remind her when she does it
again. You could regain the friend-
ship, and help Sally be a better lis-
tener. What do you have to lose?
Dear Annie: I’d like to pro-
vide a different perspective for “I’d
Like My Wife Back Please,” who
has been married for 25 years and
his wife suddenly hates him. He
mentioned that she had been exer-
cising quite a bit and had totally
changed her diet.
I was married for 28 years. My
husband was controlling, abusive
with our children and wouldn’t
keep a job. As the kids left the
nest, I realized that I was going
to be living with this man for the
rest of my life. It scared me to
death. I couldn’t stand it any lon-
ger. I turned the corner and knew
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my husband thought it was a sud-
den change, but it had been build-
ing for years.
I’ve come to realize, as women,
that we do what we have to do.
We raise our kids, we go to work
or stay home, whatever. But the
bottom line is, when we are done,
we’re done. And it sounds like she
is done. To this day, my ex doesn’t
think he ever did anything wrong.
— Happily Ever After
Dear Happily: It’s true that
problems can fester and, over time,
can destroy a marriage. When they
are addressed early on, the relation-
ship can often be salvaged because
both parties are aware of the issues
and are working on them. This is
why we so often recommend coun-
seling. But when one person suf-
fers in silence, the result is built-up
resentment and despair.
5A
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). You’re always
nice to those who are older, younger or
weaker than you in any way. The kindness
you dole out today will make a bigger differ-
ence in someone’s life than you might guess.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Unnecessary
purchases go masquerading as necessary
ones. How will you know the difference? Go
without and see what happens. Later you’ll
have the money to invest in something that
will bring real richness.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Are sensual
cravings a gift from heaven or an enticement
toward a lesser version of the self? It is not
easy to manage the want for delight against
the need for spiritual evolution, but you’ll
achieve a good balance today.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). You’ve a tal-
ent for getting to the source of the problem.
When you speak to the core of a situation,
confusing and unpleasant symptoms disap-
pear.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Happiness leaves
no scar. If only it did! There is so much joy to
be had in recollection. Take a souvenir from
today’s happy experience. This sweetness
must be remembered!
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). The extra
time and effort you put into your look is not
something you do out of vanity; rather, it’s in
the spirit of altruism. Whatever you can do
to make yourself a source of delight is a gift
that you bring to the world.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Why struggle
against worldly ambitions? You want what
you want; there’s a reason. Accept that some
of the things you want don’t seem like a spir-
itual ideal, but this is where you’re at right
now. What’s to be learned from it?
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). When you’re
not sure if you should chime in or not, con-
sider the very important role of silence. See
if some well-spaced pauses might further
your purposes.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You’ve
the courage to try for your exciting goal;
then again, a lot of people have that much
courage. Do you also have the courage to
try again? And then another time? That’s the
rare courage it will take to succeed.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). While
doing work you love, you’re compelled to put
more time and thought into each step. This
is why you’ll wind up in a completely different
place than the others who started out with
you on this project.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). When
good friends want to spend time with you,
they won’t care about the details that go with
it. The environment, food and entertainment
involved doesn’t matter much, so don’t stress
over it. What they want is you.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). If you’re go-
ing to compare yourself to another person
(not advised, but hey, it happens) at least
be fair enough not to measure the other per-
son’s best result next to your work in prog-
ress.
WEDNESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (April 13).
You’ll put a fair amount of time into develop-
ing your inner world this year and it’s a wor-
thy effort; so much of your external life will
follow your mind’s echo. Reading, spiritual
study and travel will all play into your enrich-
ment. You’ll be tested in July, and your high
score leads to a new responsibility in August.
Leo and Cancer adore you. Your lucky num-
bers are: 5, 23, 19, 42 and 6.