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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 13, 2016)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 13, 2016 FEATURES 5A Siblings favor one over the other Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. Dear Annie: Several years ago my brother-in-law died. He had been married to my older sister for 50 years. They had no children. She did not want to live alone, nor did she want to live with a roommate. In order to solve the situation, I sold my home and bought a duplex where she could live in one unit and I would live in the other. This ar- rangement has worked out very well for both of us. Here’s the issue: My siblings never visit with me, even though they often come to see my sister. I always learn of their visits after the fact, when my sister tells me about them in conversation. At ¿UVW , ZDV SX]]OHG E\ WKHLU ODFN of consideration to take a few moments to say hello to me, at least periodically. But then I re- DOL]HGWKH\KDGPDGHDFKRLFHDV to who they would visit and who they would not. If I happen to be at my sister’s place when one of my siblings stops by, I am always very cor- dial. I spend a social amount of time in conversation with them and enjoy their company. I do not overstay my visit in order to al- low them time to visit with one another. gest they visit you when they are at her place. You and your siblings seem to have a rather detached relationship and there Creators could be any number of reasons Syndicate Inc. for it, but you won’t know unless you ask them directly whether Kathy Mitchell there is any way to close the dis- and tance. Marcy Sugar Dear Annie: Can you please explain the difference between They have never communi- unconditional love and enabling? cated with me much, and I have I see so much enabling in the accepted this as the norm. I have name of love. — Frustrated Dear Frustrated: Uncondi- reached out in the past to call them and sometimes go to their tional love means you love some- homes to visit so that I am not one regardless of their behavior, accused of failing to remain in while not necessarily condoning contact. But it doesn’t seem to be what they say or do. (For exam- ple, your daughter steals from reciprocal. I harbor no ill will toward you. You are angry about it and WKHP DQG UHDOL]H WKDW , KDYH QR no longer trust her, but you still control over their behavior. I’m love her.) Enabling is acting in simply confused as to why this a way that allows the loved one situation developed. I continue to continue behavior that is dam- with my life and my friends, hop- aging either to himself or to oth- ing someday I will understand. — ers. (You make excuses for your alcoholic husband when he’s too Bewildered Sibling Dear Bewildered: You could hung over to show up for work.) A lot of folks can’t tell the ask them why, when they are so close to your home, they do not difference. And it is often easi- stop by to say hello or phone er to be an enabler than to hold ahead to have you join them at someone responsible for their be- your sister’s. You could also ask havior. But “easier” is the wrong your sister why she doesn’t sug- choice. Annie’s Mailbox ARIES (March 21-April 19). The compli- cated problems of the past look simple in retrospect. Remembering one of them should help you maintain a healthy perspective on the current situation. Keep affirming to your- self: I deserve to be happy. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Regarding to- day’s challenges: Good fortune follows your decision to depend solely on yourself. If others come through, it will be a cherry plus sprin- kles on your sundae. Just don’t count on it. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). When you like someone, you plan, scheme and put your most imaginative energy to the task of delight- ing that person. Someone will do the same for you today. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Just because someone is in charge doesn’t mean that per- son is the right one to get something done. If you’re feeling it, take it on. Passion and drive matter more than authority and power. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Your lucky number, five, has resonance now. In fact, it will help you to plan your day in five parts. For major productivity, pick an amount of time and stay focused the entire duration of the cycle. Keep your energy contained. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’ll probably come to understand that you don’t yet have the skill necessary to get the job accom- plished in the way you would like to see it happen. Rest assured that there are plenty of resources available for your education. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Forget the com- petition and run your own race. Whatever your last “time” was, you’ll be able to beat it today. That said, there is far more that matters in this than the numbers. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Your best FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE idea will be highly implausible. That’s why per- haps it’s better not to share with all of those reasonable people you know who care about you very much. This one is between you and your heart. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). When you assert your personal rights, you are also asserting your human rights. In some way it will count toward the evolution of humanity. If you knew the rest would be profoundly affect- ed, what would you do? CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You re- spect them; they feel it, and they respect you back. But when it’s time to hash out the con- tract, other elements (lawyers, maybe?) could complicate things. Keep reminding yourself of the original goodwill you built up. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). As sound as an opportunity may be, if you’re not excited about it, there’s nothing good that will come from taking it. Leave it on the table for some- one who will be genuinely thrilled to take ad- vantage. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You want something done. You want it changed. You want it working in a totally different way with completely different results. You’re in the mood to overhaul, but wait: All that’s needed, really, are a few tweaks. THURSDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Jan. 14). You put people first — before money, power or anything material. In choosing this, you choose your soul. Your excellent judgment and a few stellar decisions will make this year one for the ages. Destiny will be cast in February. Your beautiful smile will attract love and friendship in March. Libra and Sagittarius adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 30, 22, 18, 4 and 16.
