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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 5, 2015)
FEATURES 6A Tomorrow’s horoscope Getting rid of pesky friend Dear Annie: My husband and I are friends with another couple in our neighborhood. The majority of the time, we get along well. We have even traveled together. The problem is, “Susie” is very loud and an extremely poor conversationalist. She dominates the get-togethers by talking about nonsense, and she constantly re- peats herself. She interrupts ev- eryone’s conversations with, “Oh, I’ve done that,” and off she goes about herself. Susie’s husband doesn’t seem bothered by this, but it drives me nuts. My husband also doesn’t like it. We have out-of-town family vis- iting soon and these neighbors have invited themselves over. How do I tell them they aren’t welcome be- cause we don’t want them to have to tolerate Susie’s bad behavior? I see my family infrequently and we don’t want to be uncomfortable with the relatives in our own home. — Frustrated Friendship Dear Frustrated: There is nothing wrong with telling Susie and her husband that you want to spend some private time with your family. Should they drop by unin- vited, you can introduce them and let them say hello, but then nicely usher them out, telling Susie that mother for her failure to protect him. When one parent is an ac- tive abuser and the other one fails to protect, the children are left in Creators painful circumstances. They often Syndicate Inc. excuse the “passive” parent and project them as another victim of Kathy Mitchell the abuser because they cannot and bear to see the truth. Sis, too, may Marcy Sugar be directing her anger at John in- stead of her mother. you will visit with them when Whenever abuse is present, you are less occupied with family it creates a toxic situation for the members. But please don’t assume family. I hope that Sis will seek WKDW \RXU UHODWLYHV ZLOO ¿QG 6XVLH therapy because she was also a as annoying as you do. For a brief victim. It can help her feel empa- visit, she could be perfectly tolera- thy for herself as well as John, and ble. The trick is to keep it extreme- lessen her anger. It is important for ly short. Sis to know she can accept Mom’s Dear Annie: I was saddened failure to provide a safe home for and upset by the letter from “An- her children and still continue to gry Sis,” whose brother “John” love and be loved by Mom. I sin- stopped speaking to his 83-year- cerely pray that she may be the old mother after she asked him to catalyst to help this family heal testify against his abusive stepfa- while Mom is still alive. — S. ther. “Sis” asked whether she had Dear S.: Many readers weighed to invite John to Mom’s funeral in on this letter, saying that Sis did when she died. Her letter showed not quite comprehend the level of a lack of empathy and understand- John’s own trauma and possible ing for victims of childhood sexual anger after having been abused as a abuse. child, especially when Mom went Mom brought the pedophile to court to protect his half-broth- stepfather into the family. John’s er, but didn’t do the same for him. attitude may stem from the an- We, too, hope she can help the ger he rightfully feels toward his family heal. Annie’s Mailbox THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, OCTOBER 5, 2015 By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Stop trying to find a proven model on which to base your project. You’re too unique. The existing mod- els won’t do you justice. This is your chance to be inventive. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You learn when you win; you learn even more when you lose. Therefore, you’re not even sure what you should hope for today. You can’t go wrong just hoping for the best. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). That friend who facilitates rational, methodical, solu- tion-focused talk is a gem. Call on this per- son as you try to work out the details of a knotty problem. You’ll be better together. CANCER (June 22-July 22). The con- fident person works to become stronger, while the under-confident person accepts the current level and doubts that it can be maintained over time. If you’re not feeling confident, pretend. Pretending will make it so. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Everyone in your group is doing the same thing, but not ev- eryone can do well as long as this is the case. Diversify. Suddenly the ones who used to be your competition will become supporters. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Let go, and it all gets done. Maybe it doesn’t come to- gether exactly the way you wanted it to, but that might be a good thing. At some point, you have to start developing and trusting the strength of your group. Why not today? LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). The cosmic opportunities will include a chance at more profitable dealings. You have reasons, other than financial, for doing business. Lead with these reasons and your high integrity, and you can’t lose. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH STONE SOUP B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). When the others in your group can’t come to a collec- tive decision, consider whether it’s time to branch out alone. Decisive and appropriate action completed in a timely manner is what it will take to move forward. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Trying to do everything at once will only squander your energy. You have plenty now. If you place it well, it will build momentum. Place it poorly, and you won’t believe how quickly it can drain. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). It would be nice to get some formal training for that interest of yours, if only for the feeling of ac- complishment that comes with checking off all the items you learned along the way and receiving a certificate. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Your friends only understand what you’ve told them about yourself through your words and actions. You might consider presenting yourself differently in order to show a new side. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Good rela- tionships can’t be forced or manufactured. They are the product of exchanges of ener- gy that make sense for each person. Reci- procity is different for everyone. TUESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Oct. 6). Am- bition is highlighted. By your next birthday, you’ll be able to say, “I accomplished what few could achieve.” Your experience com- bined with another person’s resources will be a winning combination over the next six weeks. The end of 2015 focuses on healing a relationship. An investment invigorates your spring. Virgo and Aries people adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 6, 17, 48, 19 and 33.
