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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 16, 2015)
FEATURES 6A Mother fears abusive son Dear Annie: I am writing to you because of a friend’s problem. “Lena” is a divorced woman who lives with her 24-year-old son. Her ex’s gambling problem destroyed the marriage. Her son was 10 years old at the time of his parents’ di- vorce, and he was already unruly, uncontrollable and slacking off at school. Immediately after the di- vorce, the father remarried and does not keep in contact. Lena decided to send her son to a prestigious school in her home country. She believed that her fami- ly, who lived there, could better take care of him and help him do well in school. She had to work overtime every single day to afford the tuition. He graduated as valedictorian and went to college in Australia. Again, Lena worked very hard to pay the full tuition. When he was a junior, her son returned to the U.S. and said he was taking a break from college. After several months, he decided to “get a job” instead of returning to school. But a year has passed, and he hasn’t earned a dime. We recently learned from Lena that her son has been using drugs and physically assaulting her, say- ing that she ruined his childhood by sending him overseas. She asked Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar him to consider a rehab facility, but he refuses. Lena now fears for her life. He has attacked her many times asking for money to buy drugs. She is heartbroken about how her only child has turned out. I keep tell- ing her to call the police, but she has begged me not to. She doesn’t want to destroy his future by sending him to prison. What should we do? — A Reader Dear Reader: If Lena cannot get her drug-addicted, abusive son out of her home and refuses to call the authorities, she should get out of there before he does permanent harm. Please call your local state domestic violence agency or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (thehotline.org) and ask how you can help. Also, please encourage Lena to contact Because I Love You (bily.org), or Families Anonymous (familiesa- nonymous.org), support groups for parents in similar situations. Dear Annie: I am a pastor and recently conducted a funeral at our church for a beloved member. In accordance with the family’s wish- es, a friend of the deceased was al- lowed to speak for a few minutes during the service. Unfortunately, the “friend” proceeded to tell inap- propriate stories. After he’d spo- ken for quite some time, I asked him to allow others to talk, but he refused to yield. Finally, an angry family member asked him to sit down, but the damage had already been done. May I offer three cardinal rules for speaking at a funeral? 1. Keep your remarks brief — less than seven minutes. Write and practice what you’re going to say. 2. This is not a comedy club. Though you may share a funny sto- ry about the deceased, do not say anything that would humiliate that person or their family. 3. Do not brag about yourself. The service is not about you. — Grieving Pastor Dear Pastor: Many folks, when confronted with the death of a loved one, say amazingly inappropriate things. Thank you for reminding them to think before speaking. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 2015 Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). The out- sider sees what the insider is blind to. The only problem is that the outsider generally doesn’t talk about it to the insider’s face — that is, unless asked directly. Do you dare? TAURUS (April 20-May 20). It’s time to calm that chaotic mind. It starts by releas- ing a few preoccupations that have you mentally whirling. If you want a shortcut, try cleaning, exercise or going to that en- vironment you love. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Small steps lead to big things. Today’s small step will include exchanging a first greeting with someone who will change your entire fu- ture. Be ready to introduce yourself. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Regard- ing this afternoon’s happening: It feels as though there is but one way to react. Wrong. There are always more choices than one. Detach yourself emotionally for a moment to think of more. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Frustration is like an intense spice. A pinch of it can make the recipe. Too much ruins everything. Let the energy of frustration inform and ignite you, but only for a second. Feel it and then walk away to cool off for a while. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Science is often corrupted by wishful thinking, and wishful thinking is often corrupted by sci- ence. Where the two meet and harmo- nize, corrupt or not, is poetry. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You shouldn’t have to ask, demand or beg your loved ones to listen to you carefully. Unfortu- nately, some are too selfish or distracted to realize this. Don’t take it personally, but do kindly bring up the issue. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH STONE SOUP B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). The group- think is strong. It goes against basic surviv- al instincts to break free of it, though some- thing inside you may tell you that escaping tribal mentality is right for you now. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Someone claims to have remembered all you forgot, but that person recalls it so differently that it makes you want to keep better records. That’s not a bad idea, be- cause there’s a lot coming up that you’ll want to remember. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Re- claim sovereignty over your body. Let no trainer, person, substance or chocolate cake boss you around. If it feels wrong in every limb, don’t do it. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). The place is new to you, and yet the people there see it every day. They are bored of it. The only thing that makes it exciting is seeing it for the first time through your eyes. Share your impressions. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Think twice before you suggest improvements, give criticism, go another round, trade up or make changes of any kind today. “Bet- ter” can be the enemy of “good enough.” THURSDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Sept. 17). A need arises repeatedly, and you’ll act quickly to meet it, earning yourself a niche that is well paid and well appreciated in other ways, too. Note: You won’t know how, so you’ll have to start from scratch and learn. Your attitude plus fun changes to your look will attract admirers and romance in 2016. Children bring luck. Capricorn and Scorpio people adore you. Your lucky num- bers are: 16, 40, 3, 11 and 18.