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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (July 29, 2015)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, JULY 29, 2015 FEATURES 5A Outing a cheating spouse? Tomorrow’s horoscope Dear Annie: My wife and I were married in a double wedding with her sister. Two years lat- er, my new brother-in-law began boasting to me of his philander- ing. He rationalized it by claim- ing that as long as his wife knew nothing about it, he wasn’t hurt- ing her. I told this to my wife and asked whether we should tell her sister, but she said not to. Over the next several years, their marriage seemed strained, and after 30 years together, they finally split up. I never pulled those kinds of shenanigans, and my wife and I happily celebrated our 60th an- niversary recently. I have always wondered, though, whether we did the right thing by not telling her sister 58 years ago. Perhaps if we had, she might have left him then and her whole life could have changed for the better. What is your opinion? — E.C. Dear E.C.: This question comes up a lot in our column. Sixty years ago, the threat of con- tracting herpes or HIV wasn’t an issue. And unlike other sexually transmitted diseases, these are not curable. They require long-term treatment and monitoring. These diseases changed the landscape ARIES (March 21-April 19). Even the proudest individual usually has at least one person he or she looks up to. That’s the one you need to connect with to influ- ence the egomaniac in your life. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). There’s an easy fix for the flat times in an all-too-famil- iar relationship. Forget about life’s pesky details, and focus on creating a bubble of together time that shuts out the rest of the world. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Fear is only what you think, not what is. Writing your fear down or talking it over with a reason- able friend will help you see just how silly a certain fear is. You’ll laugh and then let it go. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Passivity is not weakness. Nine times out of 10, an assertive response is overkill. Today you’ll win friends and fans while doing what the situation requires and no more than that. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Remember that time when you didn’t know you were on speakerphone and you accidentally said things not meant for certain company? Well, today brings the chance to rectify that, or at least to not make the same mis- take twice. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Familiarity can blind you to how someone really is. That’s why spending time with outsiders can have an enormously (and in your case pleasantly) enlightening effect. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). There will be applications for your artistry all day long. For instance, your manner of dress de- lights the eye, and you arrange your table like you’re going to paint a still life picture of it — lovely! Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar when it came to telling someone about an affair that was otherwise not really their business. There are women who say they would want to know and feel be- trayed when they discover that friends and family members didn’t tell them. There are an equal num- ber of women who shoot the mes- senger, opting to close their eyes and stay in the marriage, often cutting off contact with the person who told the truth. Our opinion is that it’s best to confront the cheat- er, letting him know you are aware of his actions and could tell the spouse, and suggesting counseling. Your wife made the determi- nation that her sister’s marriage was not her business and that Sis would prefer not to know. Even if Sis was aware of the cheating, she may not have wanted a divorce when such a move still carried a social stigma. Hindsight is 20/20, but in the moment, there is no way to know how someone will respond and how their lives will change. You make the decision you think is best at the time. Dear Annie: Are there any websites devoted to helping peo- ple find nursing homes or assist- ed living facilities for relatives who moved to other states and did not plan for when they got older? These people do not have family members who live nearby, and now their far-flung nieces and nephews are trying to help them out. I am sure others around the country deal with this and could use some guidance, too. Where do we go for help? — Marie Dear Marie: Medicare offers an excellent guide for choosing a nursing home, along with other free publications and resources on their website at medicare.gov. Just type “find nursing home” in the search box. People who are considering retiring to warmer climates away from their families may want to check this out and be prepared for whatever happens down the road. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH STONE SOUP B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Vulnerabil- ity may repel some people, but it attracts the right people. Because you’re brave enough to be honest about what you’re go- ing through and the help you need, you’ll find what you’re looking for. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). The things you worry about seldom happen. However, it still benefits you to prepare for the worst-case scenario. For starters, it makes you grateful for the positive way things pan out. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Some- one would have you believe that today’s opportunity is as rare as a yellow diamond. False! So put back your money, ask ques- tions, poke around. There’s no need to be too precious in your approach. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). People insist on making simple things more com- plicated for a variety of reasons, such as fear of boredom, an aversion to silence or a desperate need to avoid self-confrontation. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). The mys- tical “third eye” is what you’re using to see the truth about a relationship. You are also, perhaps unknowingly, applying a “third ear” to pick up the song in your loved one’s heart. THURSDAY’S BIRTHDAY (July 30). You momentarily may have lost sight of your goal in recent weeks, but your solar return brings it back in shining glory. Your efforts with fellow fire signs create swift mo- mentum. You’ll take control and lead your group to revitalization. Astounding luck in September brings funding to fulfill a wish. Passion fills 2016. Scorpio and Capricorn people adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 3, 29, 1, 44 and 17.