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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (July 24, 2015)
FEATURES 6A THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, JULY 24, 2015 Wife misses an intimate relationship Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. Dear Annie: I am 62 years old and have been married to “Clyde” for 12 years. We do not have a sexual relationship. He prefers to sleep on the sofa and always has, saying it’s more comfortable. Clyde had a horrible childhood. He told me that his mother had sex with various men in his presence. On the weekends, he would stay with his paternal grandparents, where he witnessed his uncle abus- ing his aunt. His grandmother is the only one who showed him any love, and while there, he slept on the sofa. Prior to meeting my husband, I contracted herpes. I am allergic to latex so sex is always a risk. He knew this prior to our marriage and things were OK then. But after we married, sex became infrequent, partly due to his erectile dysfunc- tion. He informed me that I was no longer attractive to him because I had gained weight (so has he) and he fears getting herpes. I don’t know what to do. Clyde is moody and I sometimes feel that I’m walking on eggshells. He can acknowledge that he is difficult, but he doesn’t change. We love each other and share a fairly com- fortable life, but I miss an intimate relationship. Clyde will not go to Annie’s Mailbox Creators Syndicate Inc. Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar counseling. In fact, he dislikes speaking of our problems in the bedroom and becomes so angry that I once put my feelings in a letter. He tore it up without read- ing it. Any advice? — Missing My Husband Dear Missing: Clyde’s back- ground indicates a lot of unresolved issues about sex and intimacy, but if he refuses to address them, there is little you can do to change how he responds. However, you can get counseling for yourself. A good counselor will help you focus on what’s important to you and de- cide what is best for you, including ways to cope with the situation you have with less frustration. Dear Annie: “Good Daughter” said her mother endlessly stole the limelight. I’ve observed the exact same behavior in both my husband’s mother and mine, and it seems to have started in their 70s. I wondered if it had to do with them fighting the feeling of being invis- ible or irrelevant in their families’ lives. As I transition into the emp- ty-nest phase of life, I’m beginning to get a glimpse of what it feels like to go from being the center (and coordinator) of all family ac- tivities into a much less active role in my kids’ lives, and I’m sure it will be even more pronounced over time. We all need to feel needed. In our younger years, we race through our busy lives. Once we reach our senior years, all of these connec- tions and obligations fade. We need others to validate that we still matter. While this doesn’t make it any more pleasant to observe the redirection of every conversation, a little perspective might encour- age more tolerance. — Patient Daughter Dear Patient: While we ar- en’t sure that applies to all cases (many people are self-absorbed from childhood on), we agree that the sense that one is invisible and unimportant can push people to assert themselves this way. Thank you for providing a plea for under- standing. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH STONE SOUP B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE ARIES (March 21-April 19). The strange paradox of the day is that the more you take on the less stressful life becomes. You’ll push yourself hard and arrive at a new level of competence. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Just because a person has thick skin doesn’t mean he or she is heartless. In fact, once this person lets down their guard, you’ll likely find someone more emotionally fragile than you had imag- ined. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’ll likely contradict yourself a few times today, and you can chalk it up to your twin-ish nature. A world without contradiction would be a dull one, indeed! CANCER (June 22-July 22). A wild ani- mal following the scent of bait doesn’t expect to get caught in a trap. Domestic creatures like us are more wary, as we should be! Easy pickins often land us in cages. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Your astral gift is sudden understanding. And out of this instant wisdom, your priorities will order themselves. You’ll go to bed a different per- son than you were when you woke up this morning. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). If you don’t prioritize, work can keep you from work. Cat- egorize and sort your efforts, and then use that intricate measurement system called “your gut” to determine where your time is best spent. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). What do your possessions say about you? It depends on the observer. You’ll see your stuff differently as you view it through the eyes of the various people you interact with today. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). When you put your mind to it, you usually think of an easier way to do things — today will be no exception. Tonight you’ll impress key players who will later join your side. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Guilt is not a good weapon of persuasion. You usu- ally wind up avoiding those who try to guilt you! You operate on an attraction-only basis, putting out your upbeat efforts and hoping they are sticky enough. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). It is said that “love enters through the eyes.” Even though you’ve long adored your loved one, you are still delighted by the sight of this per- son. You’re also mindful to keep your own image fresh. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Bottom line: You can live better with less. Have the guts to throw out what you know you won’t use and don’t need. What? It was a gift? That only means it’s totally yours to do with as you wish. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Sharing a bloodline with another person doesn’t, in and of itself, give you an obligation to that person. Relationships are so much more than shared DNA. Consider the bigger pic- ture, and don’t sell yourself short. SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAY (July 25). The days will progress, and yet you will not get older. You are so strongly engaged in life that you reverse the aging process. As for your work, the rhythm changes in September and thoroughness matters most. You’ll be more productive at a slower pace. In 2016, you’ll be supported in ways you expect and in ways you don’t. Scorpio and Pisces peo- ple adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 4, 19, 22, 28 and 45.
