FEATURES
6A
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • FRIDAY, JULY 24, 2015
Wife misses an intimate relationship Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
Dear Annie: I am 62 years old
and have been married to “Clyde”
for 12 years. We do not have a
sexual relationship. He prefers to
sleep on the sofa and always has,
saying it’s more comfortable.
Clyde had a horrible childhood.
He told me that his mother had sex
with various men in his presence.
On the weekends, he would stay
with his paternal grandparents,
where he witnessed his uncle abus-
ing his aunt. His grandmother is
the only one who showed him any
love, and while there, he slept on
the sofa.
Prior to meeting my husband,
I contracted herpes. I am allergic
to latex so sex is always a risk. He
knew this prior to our marriage and
things were OK then. But after we
married, sex became infrequent,
partly due to his erectile dysfunc-
tion. He informed me that I was no
longer attractive to him because I
had gained weight (so has he) and
he fears getting herpes.
I don’t know what to do. Clyde
is moody and I sometimes feel that
I’m walking on eggshells. He can
acknowledge that he is difficult,
but he doesn’t change. We love
each other and share a fairly com-
fortable life, but I miss an intimate
relationship. Clyde will not go to
Annie’s
Mailbox
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
Kathy Mitchell
and
Marcy Sugar
counseling. In fact, he dislikes
speaking of our problems in the
bedroom and becomes so angry
that I once put my feelings in a
letter. He tore it up without read-
ing it. Any advice? — Missing My
Husband
Dear Missing: Clyde’s back-
ground indicates a lot of unresolved
issues about sex and intimacy, but
if he refuses to address them, there
is little you can do to change how
he responds. However, you can get
counseling for yourself. A good
counselor will help you focus on
what’s important to you and de-
cide what is best for you, including
ways to cope with the situation you
have with less frustration.
Dear Annie: “Good Daughter”
said her mother endlessly stole
the limelight. I’ve observed the
exact same behavior in both my
husband’s mother and mine, and it
seems to have started in their 70s. I
wondered if it had to do with them
fighting the feeling of being invis-
ible or irrelevant in their families’
lives.
As I transition into the emp-
ty-nest phase of life, I’m beginning
to get a glimpse of what it feels
like to go from being the center
(and coordinator) of all family ac-
tivities into a much less active role
in my kids’ lives, and I’m sure it
will be even more pronounced over
time.
We all need to feel needed. In
our younger years, we race through
our busy lives. Once we reach our
senior years, all of these connec-
tions and obligations fade. We
need others to validate that we still
matter. While this doesn’t make it
any more pleasant to observe the
redirection of every conversation,
a little perspective might encour-
age more tolerance. — Patient
Daughter
Dear Patient: While we ar-
en’t sure that applies to all cases
(many people are self-absorbed
from childhood on), we agree that
the sense that one is invisible and
unimportant can push people to
assert themselves this way. Thank
you for providing a plea for under-
standing.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
STONE SOUP
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
ARIES (March 21-April 19). The strange
paradox of the day is that the more you take
on the less stressful life becomes. You’ll push
yourself hard and arrive at a new level of
competence.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Just because
a person has thick skin doesn’t mean he or
she is heartless. In fact, once this person lets
down their guard, you’ll likely find someone
more emotionally fragile than you had imag-
ined.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You’ll likely
contradict yourself a few times today, and
you can chalk it up to your twin-ish nature.
A world without contradiction would be a dull
one, indeed!
CANCER (June 22-July 22). A wild ani-
mal following the scent of bait doesn’t expect
to get caught in a trap. Domestic creatures
like us are more wary, as we should be!
Easy pickins often land us in cages.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Your astral gift
is sudden understanding. And out of this
instant wisdom, your priorities will order
themselves. You’ll go to bed a different per-
son than you were when you woke up this
morning.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). If you don’t
prioritize, work can keep you from work. Cat-
egorize and sort your efforts, and then use
that intricate measurement system called
“your gut” to determine where your time is
best spent.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). What do your
possessions say about you? It depends on
the observer. You’ll see your stuff differently
as you view it through the eyes of the various
people you interact with today.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). When you
put your mind to it, you usually think of an
easier way to do things — today will be no
exception. Tonight you’ll impress key players
who will later join your side.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Guilt is
not a good weapon of persuasion. You usu-
ally wind up avoiding those who try to guilt
you! You operate on an attraction-only basis,
putting out your upbeat efforts and hoping
they are sticky enough.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). It is said
that “love enters through the eyes.” Even
though you’ve long adored your loved one,
you are still delighted by the sight of this per-
son. You’re also mindful to keep your own
image fresh.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Bottom
line: You can live better with less. Have the
guts to throw out what you know you won’t
use and don’t need. What? It was a gift? That
only means it’s totally yours to do with as you
wish.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Sharing
a bloodline with another person doesn’t, in
and of itself, give you an obligation to that
person. Relationships are so much more
than shared DNA. Consider the bigger pic-
ture, and don’t sell yourself short.
SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAY (July 25). The
days will progress, and yet you will not get
older. You are so strongly engaged in life that
you reverse the aging process. As for your
work, the rhythm changes in September
and thoroughness matters most. You’ll be
more productive at a slower pace. In 2016,
you’ll be supported in ways you expect and
in ways you don’t. Scorpio and Pisces peo-
ple adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 4, 19,
22, 28 and 45.