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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 8, 2015)
The Rain Vacation Memo: To: Coastal Lodging Establishments Subject: Inventing the Rain Vacation From: Matt Love, self-appointed expert in rain, author of a book on rain, and resident of the Oregon Coast for 17 years. Photo by Alejandra Ortega THE PHOTOS When I approached Astoria High School digital photography teacher Mickey Cereghino in October about the pos- sibility of collaborating with his students on my rain project, he was incredibly enthusiastic. The students were, too, especially when they learned that pizza would be their reward. Over the next couple of months, Cereghino’s photog- raphers began taking shots of rain with the only proviso being: no clichés; show people a new way to look at rain. Teach about its beauty and metaphors. I joined them on several occasions, and both Cereghino and I contributed our interpretations. My special thanks to Astoria High School students and their photography teacher. They took some outstanding pictures, only a few of which made it into this layout. I have no doubt we’ll be collaborating again. Photo by Matt Love 10 | January 8, 2015 | coastweekend.com Photo by Sheyanna Fruiht T By MATT LOVE The French symbolist poet Arthur Rimbaud once wrote in a letter to a friend, “Advance always.” I, for one, listen to poets and consistently follow Rimbaud’s advice, particularly with rain. Not long ago, I discov- ered that some of my best creative energy results when I advance into rain. I also learned that engaging rain can nurture entrepreneurial visions that shamelessly enrich visionaries of rain. You could be that visionary. Please take a minute to read this gratuitous memo Photo by Luke Warnecke about better monetizing your lodging business. Rain is the means to grow. Open your mind. Reverse the deluge to your advantage. Turn gray into gold. Yes, yes, I know many of you view rain quite dif- ferently, pejoratively. The bemoaning. The complaining. All those profane insults, all those dismal vacancy rates expand your business in liquid, lucrative ways you never dreamed possible because you never dreamed about rain before. You have absolutely nothing to lose except cliché and the sadly mediocre notion that rain is only about the weath- er. Here’s what I advocate: This spring, offer folks an unprecedented “Rain Va- cation” on the coast and build a fresh existential brand for the region that will surely attract all manner of new visi- tors during the so-called dead season. Advance your print, radio, television and social media marketing right into rain. Sell rain and sell it hard. In recent years, I have found that many introspective people crave rain, enjoy staring silently at its beauty and simplici- ty and love diving into rain’s metaphors of clarity and cleansing. They might even live in Southern California or Arizona. Just gently invite them. Throw in some bar- gains for wet dogs, too. In your promotion, play up the blissful isolation, the wholesome solitude of walking beaches alone during big scapes and perpetual rain falling sideways into a rolling black ocean. Too many people spend millions of dollars to travel where the sun constantly shines and foreign capital enslaves locals and monkeys to exploit the sun quintessential coastal rain vacation offers timeless Old Age wisdom and for a lot less money. If you do proceed with my proposal, I’d like to offer some ideas to enhance the Rain Vacation experience. Construct a clear plastic or glass shelter where a vis- itor can enjoy watching and listening to the rain. Maybe put up a hammock. Provide each visitor a bar of soap made with rain. (I know of at least one coastal manufacturer.) Have guests memorize this rain man- tra and recite at dinner: Rain is the means to grow. Open your mind. Reverse the deluge to your advantage. Turn gray into gold. ities of seeing gorgeous gray skies, monochrome land- Rain is born to run; the sun born to sit in a soft chair. Rain is wanton, excit- ing; the sun constant, boring. Rain galli- vants; the sun merely beams. Rain plays chess and solitaire with you at the same time. The sun speaks in monologues while rain always dialogues. Amen. Hire a house band for your lounge that plays noth- ing but rain songs and contractually obligate them to close every show with Credence Clearwater Revival’s sure the lounge also offers drink specials such as vodka and rain on the rocks or bourbon neat with a rain chaser. Set up a sustainable rain collection system so visitors Photo by Matt Love Photo by Alex Tallman can drink and bathe in rainwater. Stock your DVD library with a must. Hold Twister contests in the rain. The senior citizens will love it! Create a special rain club for kids and deck them out in rain swag. Feel free to poach any of these sug- gested names: Rain Appreciation Society, Umbrella Eradication Proj- ect, Legion of the Rain, Fellowship of the Rain, The Masters of Rain, Monochrome Adventure Club, The Photo by Matt Love Puddle Smashers, Pale Order of Rainy Day Gothic Teens. Please consider my proposal. Rain is our great- est cultural asset and completely free of charge. Why not extol and harness it for languid pleasure for your bold new marketing direction: 1) under no circumstances should you ever issue any guest an umbrella no matter how much the weaklings beg; 2) always offer a rain check when the Rain Vacation craze hits and packs your establishment to the leak- ing, moldy roof with an entirely new kind of tourist. One added bonus about them — they’re very, very, quiet and party in mind only. Matt Love’s account of one of the rainiest years in Oregon history, “Of Walking in Rain,” is available at nestuccaspit- press.com and coastal bookstores. You can also visit nestuccaspitpress.com to read his blog on rain. Photo by Mickey Cereghino Photo by Lucas Caruana Photo by Henry Meiners January 8, 2015 | coastweekend.com | 11