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About Oregon City courier. (Oregon City, Or.) 1902-1919 | View Entire Issue (July 3, 1903)
8 OREGON CITY COURIER, FRIDAY, JULY 3, 1903, Chance of a Lifetime Came at Last "f rou scoundrel! Stand where i - love a muscle and I'll put a m '" 'wh youT' r ' 'iurglar, surprised In the act, ' . still. Jo!d up your hands!" further com- ;ande(Tthe stern voice that spoke to . ini out of the darkness. He compiled. "Now I am going to disarm yon. temember, I've got you covered with 44 caliber revolver, and I know how 0 shoot." In a few moments the Intruder, re "ved of a pair of shooting Irons, a mife and a elungshot, was permitted lower his hands. , Do as I tell you, now, no more and i9 less," was the next command. (leach your hand out for that watch , i the bureau, as you were doing when r caught you at It. But don't you roch It There! Stand perfectly still ,11 1 toll you to move. That .111 do, and I have secured an excel riiit flash light picture of a burglar In ctlon-somethlng I have been trying 1 get for the last ten years. I'll not ?tain you any longer. You can go ut the way you came. Goodby." Jlilcago Tribune. Itedland. The cloudy weather fand recent raiu has assured the farmers Gne of the in ost bouutiful harvests of recent years. Ail are looking toward to the time when young Americans can show hi; love of country by seeing how much powder be can burn and bow much noise he can make. Some of ourgood populist are credit ors to the It. F. T. Co. People who are looking for a good location with all the push and energy of a thriving community should visit this place. D. H. Moeber attended the Western division of .State Teachers Association held in Portland Prof. Dawson, of Salem, has taken his vacation at Viola. ' J.JW. & E. Linn have taken a contract to log for B. Linn. Mr. Walenstine, of Portland is spend inga few days in this place. Brother Harry does not contribute all the items So you must look for some one else to lay the item to, about the shooting of certain cattle. Guess again. A Diagnosis of Kentucky. ' Military Dlnclpllne. Pond Mother I think General Fur- 'otigh is an old bear! friend What makes you think so? F. M.-I told him I would like to ke a Boldler out of Willie and asked .;m if he would promise to drill him C I sent the boy to him. Friend And What did he sayT P. M.-Why, he s-a-l-d that nothing 'onld give him more pleasure than to ' r-H-l that boy full of holes. Chicago ..ecord-Uerald. The Beat In the State. "Tea, suh," said the Kentuckian rem 'iiseently, "he were the best Jedge we vah had in Kalntuchky." "Why, I didn't know he was a Judge," ;UI the strunger. "The best in the state, suh," affirmed 'ie native. "lie could tell to the mln ! how old a brand of liquor were by ttfrely tastin' It." Cincinnati Coinmer ial Tribune. Not Encouraging. The Best Liniment for Strains. Mr. . A. Well", the merchant at Deer Park. Lour IkIaihI, N. Y.t lays: "I alwaya recommend tliamltui Iain's Pain Balm as the beet lintmcut for strain J nxed It Uat winter for a severe uimi 111 the time, resultlnc from a strain. and was prcatly ploaxed with the quirk relief and cure 11 (fleeted. For aula by U. A. Harding. Accepted Suitor (engagingly) John--ir you know I'm going to marry your later and Johnnie Aw, don't tell me yer trou- '! I'm busy wit' my own. San .. rancisco Examiner. Makluar It Ey. "It must be admitted," said the 'vnrtler, "that our emperor hus slm- .lfled education wonderfully." "In what way?" "In order to answer the question fho is the greatest general, diplomat rttlc, poet and playwright? it is neces try :jnly to mention his name." -Washington Star. An Kffectuul Qnletua. He Why, we haven't even to extol virtues of men to prove the infer!- -Ity of women. The very fallings of omnuklnd prove the point No worn- u for example, has a sense of humor. She She hasn't? Then why la It .tit all bits of bright repartee are .ollod Sallies? New York Times. Died Hrlr. "tier novel la one of the ephemeral Wt'8808." -Indeed?" Oh, yea! It was published before elm-It in the morning and was not mipletoly forgotten until after clock In the evening." Life. A lerere TeatV "Oh, yea; he used to consider her &j dainty and graceful." "And doesn't he think so now?" "No; I believe he saw her eating as- 4rttgus the other day." Phlladelphi ' teas, Georgia Jeatlee. "I cant convict you on the evidence,' aid the backwoods justice, "but I'm sola' to fine you $10 for contempt for tokln' Ilk I couldn't" Atlanta Cos -rttutlon. Tree Qenerealtr Wlgg Say what you will of Bjonea, '..e is generous to a fault. Wagg Yea, if the fault happena to be 1 is own. Philadelphia Record. Ilia Indlacretlon. Clara What came between you? Chloe Oh. be showed so much lm ,4tUuce with Fldo. Detroit Free In Hammock Time. Within her hammock rhyllla slept When youthful Strephon came; With noiseless feet to her he crept And softly called her name.. Iler drooping laahea flew apart; flM vca In frltrht nnMt wtilfl. "Oh, my I You aeured me ao my heart waa in my mourns ane crieu. "Oh, aurely not! That cannot be; You could not get at all A Jewel quite ao big," anld he, "into a place so small." Cttthollo Standard sad Times, Kentucky's hills are full of rills And all the rills are lined witb stills, And all the stills are full of gills, And all the gills are full of thrills, And all the thrills are full of kills. Yon see, the feudists dot the bills And camp along the little nils, Convenient to the busy stills And thirsting from the brimming gills. And wben the juice his system fills Each feudist whoops around and kills. Now, if they'd only stop the stills Thev'd cure Kentucky's manv ills- Men would be spared to climb the hills And operate the busy stills. However, this would mean more gills And that, of course, would mean more thrills, Resulting in the same old kills. So all the h ills and rills and stills Aud all the gills and thrills and kills Are splendid for the coffin mills And makes more undertaker's bills. W. D. . in Chicago Tribune. Thought It Was a Muraer. Frederick Nelson, deputy assessor, was the cauee of a sensation at Molalla the other dty. Fred is taking a home study course 2 in medicine, and while in Portland secure! some numau bones which he proposed to use in his studies. Fred owns a ranch on the Molalla river near Liberal. jinking that would be a good place to take the Donee for bleaching purposes. Accord ingly, he took the bones out there Mon day. He had hardly got back to Oregon City when a neighbor rancheriran across the. bones. He immediately' recognized them as human bones and jumped to the conclusion that a mur er had been done. Coroner Holman was notified and was just about to go to the scene and hold an inquest aud poet mortem, when Fred trot wind of the affair and hastened to make explanation. TOUT LAND MARKET. Wheat Walla Walla, 7074c; val lev. 77c: Barley Feed, $20.00 per ton ; brewing $21 Flour Beet grade, $3.95 4.30; grah am, $3.45 3.85. lMjllstuffs Bran, $23 per ton; mid. dings, $27 ; aborts, $23 ; chop, $18. Oats No. 1 white, $1.10 1.15; gray, $1.15 per cental. Hay Timothy, $20 21; clover, normuial ; $15 16 per too. Potatoes Best burhanka, 4075c per sack; ordinary, 3545c per cental; growers' prices; Merced sweet?, i. 3.35 per cental. Poultry Chickens, mixe ' c; young, 1314c; hens 12c; i e ' alive, 16rc; dressed, 2022o it $77.5J perdosen; geese, $66 ) Cheese Full crea.n, twins, lo)4 'k '' 'i Young America, 1514(c; it A prices, llc less. Butter Fancy creamery, 202bo per pound: extras, 22c; dairy, 2022 store, 1618o. Eg s 1720c per dozen. Hops Choice, 1820c par pound. . Wool Valley, 12,(g)l7.i ; Eastern Oregon, 814.c! mohair. 3537c. Beef Gross, cows, 3J4t; ; per pound steers. 55Jc; dresaed, Hc. Veal 78e. Mutton Grocs, $3.50 per pound; dressed 66c. Lambfe Gross, 4o per pound; dresseJ 7Kc. Hogs dross, 6a6Jc per pound; dressed, 78u. N Hla Creed. "But madam," we say to the lady who is attracting attention and excit ing invidious comment by the risque ness of her remarks and the uncon ventionality of her actions, "don't you believe In a hereafter?" 'SuTe I do!" she declares, winking knowingly. "But" I draw the line on these people who believe in a past." Judge. ' . An Explanation. I am told that none of the princi pals in the grand opera company speak to one another." . '"Well," answered Mr. Cumrox, "after reading their names on the programme I don't blame them for letting one an other alone instead of trying to pro nounce them." Washington Star. The Music. fourtl of July, 1903 Oregor PROGRAM Parade io o'clock Grand Marshal and Aids Oregon City Band Orator of the Day Carriage Firemen Base Ball Teams Grand Army of the Republic Civic Organizations Milwaukie Band Flivts Cars, Etc.: ; Cit-xi ns in Carriages Cilizei.s on Foot Si e .king- u o'ciock At c -ity Park, Seventh Street, between Auams and Jefferson INTERMISSION AFTERNOON Water Sports i o'clock River front. Log Rolling ist prize $7.50; 2d, $S.oo Swimming Race ist, 7.oo; 2d, $5,00, 3d, 2.So Boat Race, one half mile ist, $10.00 ; 2d, $5.00, 3d, $3.00 HOSE Races 2 o'clock, Main street BASE Ball Canemah Park 3 o'clock Monograms vs. Oregon City RACES 5 o'clock, Main street 220 yard dash ist, $10.00; 2d $5.00 Boys'Race,i5 years and under, 75 yards, 1st, $3.00; 2d, $2.00, 3d, $1,00 Fat Man's Race, 1st, $5.00; 2d, $2.50 Wheelbarrow Race, 1st, $5.00, 2 d $2.00 Foot Race 100 yard dash, 1st $10.00; 2d, $5.00 Fireworks 0 o'clock. GOOD NIGHT She'd Jump at It. Misa Woodby Really, you don't think that I'd consider for a nilnnte a proposal from him, do you? Miss Ne witt Oh, no. Of con wouldn't take that long. Brook,, r. gle. ' Ho "Gloomy" DlaarnoniH "Tea, she has a case of 'nerv "W7hafa that?" "Well, to be frank, it's the n use when a wealthy patient plain cranky." Chicago Post. ' He Trick. "That la Mr. Jones, who will shortly , lead Mrs. Weed to the altar." "Yes? After which she will take the lead and he will simply follow suit" Puck. Literally Trne. "So you're living iu a flat now. Eow do you like It?" "Oh. I've got no room to kick." Brooklyn Citizen. , An Explanation. The Exception. The Englishman I understu Americans elect all your rulers lot. The American Yes, alj bu wives. Just For Fun. Womanlike. Teas What makes you think her married life isn't happy? ; ' Jess Because she's forever urging the rest of us girls to get married too. Denver News. Crafty. Peddler Madam, I have here a fine complexion beautifler which Lady No, you don't work any skin game on me. Cornell Widow. A Martyr. "- . 11 to the orchestra!" cried ut.jd who had been taken to New Jersey on her honeymoon. "Orchestra?" asked the eroom.v "W ny, that isn't' music it's mosquitoes." Chicago Tribune. AbooiKln traveler Dr. FowWi Exlrnot'of Wilt! 1 niwK't tv. Cities ilvin!i v. Oiflt'lnma. erasifknms, niiuusa. plrosttuMo lake. J'eiftoily utu imes.s. Foley's Honey and Tar cures colas, prevents pneumonia. Crom Force of Habit. "Absent minded? I should say he Is! He did something this morning that broke the record." "FTo was Htflndinff In front of that bier French mirror and tackled himself for I a fiver." Baltimore News. -t' Affile. Oldhand Got an automobile, have yeu? Strange I never see you on the road. B, Ginner That's because as soon as I land there I pick myself up and scramble back Into the machine. Phil adelphia Press. The Froated Hand. "Yes, and after she refused me aha waved her hand In farewell." "Sort of cold wave, wasn't It?" Cleveland Plain Dealer. , Little Waldo Beane (with a sigh) Well, I must now discontinue my pe rusal of this most interesting theory of premosaic cosmic phenomena and humor my poor nurse by allowing her to read "Mother Goose" to mer-New York Evening Journal. ? ; Mlndfnl of the Form. The timid young man at the picnic hastily asked his sister to introduce him to the young woman In the blue shirt waist. "Miss Tippltt," said his sister, "thia la mv hrother. Mr. TaDDitt" "Ol-irhid to meet VOU. Miss Tippitt," he said. "Pardon me for mentioning It, but you are sitting on a bumble bee's nest." Chicago Tribune. Stage Manager Ladles and gentle men, by looking at your programme you will notice that two years are sup posed to elapse between acts 1 and 2. Inasmuch as the constable has seized. the costumes I think It will be fully that long before we get things settled. Thanking you, one and all, for your uniform courtesy, etc. New York Jonr-oal Wanted to Be Sure of Her. The old colored brother was bargain ing for a monument to his late spouse. "How much does dat big one weigni he asked. " ' .. ' ' "Well." renlied the marble man, Mr It's weight you're after, I should say about a ton." The widower thought a moment; then, turning to his friend, said: "You reckon dat'll hold her down?" -.Atlanta Constitution. Best Place ; I on Earth- For wagons, buggies, har ness and all lines of farm. , implements. L F. HOLMES CANBY, OREGON STRAIN a : TA0!LKONCd COW P ANY, 265-28? Washington Street Challenge Sale Continues $100,000 Worth of line un-called-for tailor-made clothing, on which de posits have been paid, purchased by my Chicago buyer, Joe g Godfrey, at 1 Twenty Cents on the GDollar SUITS AND OVERCOATS $20.00 un-called-for, tailor-made suits and overcoats ; Challenge Sale price v 1 $4.75 $22.50 un-called-for tailor-made suits and overcoats; Challenge Sale price 7.5 $25.00 and $30.00 un-called-for tailor-made suits and overcoats; Challenge Sale price 10.00 $30 and $35 un-called-for suits and overcoots; Challenge Sale price TROUSERS $5 uncalled-for tailor-made trou sers; Challenge Sale price 7.50 1 uncalled-for tailor-made trousers; Challenge Sale price $40, $50 and $60 un-called-for tailor-made suits and overcoats; Challenge Sale price $10 uncalled-for tailor-made trou sers; Challenge Sale price 3.90 $12.50 uncalled-for tailor-made trousers; Challenge Sale price Any Suit or Overcoat for 15. AMP 'S'8aSSSSS