Oregon City courier. (Oregon City, Or.) 1902-1919, July 03, 1903, Page 8, Image 8

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Chance of a Lifetime
Came at Last
"f rou scoundrel! Stand where
i - love a muscle and I'll put a
m '" 'wh youT'
r ' 'iurglar, surprised In the act,
' . still.
Jo!d up your hands!" further com-
;ande(Tthe stern voice that spoke to
. ini out of the darkness.
He compiled.
"Now I am going to disarm yon.
temember, I've got you covered with
44 caliber revolver, and I know how
0 shoot."
In a few moments the Intruder, re
"ved of a pair of shooting Irons, a
mife and a elungshot, was permitted
lower his hands. ,
Do as I tell you, now, no more and
i9 less," was the next command.
(leach your hand out for that watch
, i the bureau, as you were doing when
r caught you at It. But don't you
roch It There! Stand perfectly still
,11 1 toll you to move. That
.111 do, and I have secured an excel
riiit flash light picture of a burglar In
ctlon-somethlng I have been trying
1 get for the last ten years. I'll not
?tain you any longer. You can go
ut the way you came. Goodby."
Jlilcago Tribune.
The cloudy weather fand recent raiu
has assured the farmers Gne of the in ost
bouutiful harvests of recent years.
Ail are looking toward to the time
when young Americans can show hi;
love of country by seeing how much
powder be can burn and bow much
noise he can make.
Some of ourgood populist are credit
ors to the It. F. T. Co.
People who are looking for a good
location with all the push and energy of
a thriving community should visit this
D. H. Moeber attended the Western
division of .State Teachers Association
held in Portland
Prof. Dawson, of Salem, has taken
his vacation at Viola.
' J.JW. & E. Linn have taken a contract
to log for B. Linn.
Mr. Walenstine, of Portland is spend
inga few days in this place.
Brother Harry does not contribute all
the items So you must look for some
one else to lay the item to, about the
shooting of certain cattle. Guess again.
A Diagnosis of Kentucky.
' Military Dlnclpllne.
Pond Mother I think General Fur-
'otigh is an old bear!
friend What makes you think so?
F. M.-I told him I would like to
ke a Boldler out of Willie and asked
.;m if he would promise to drill him
C I sent the boy to him.
Friend And What did he sayT
P. M.-Why, he s-a-l-d that nothing
'onld give him more pleasure than to
' r-H-l that boy full of holes. Chicago
The Beat In the State.
"Tea, suh," said the Kentuckian rem
'iiseently, "he were the best Jedge we
vah had in Kalntuchky."
"Why, I didn't know he was a Judge,"
;UI the strunger.
"The best in the state, suh," affirmed
'ie native. "lie could tell to the mln
! how old a brand of liquor were by
ttfrely tastin' It." Cincinnati Coinmer
ial Tribune.
Not Encouraging.
The Best Liniment for Strains.
Mr. . A. Well", the merchant at Deer Park.
Lour IkIaihI, N. Y.t lays: "I alwaya recommend
tliamltui Iain's Pain Balm as the beet lintmcut
for strain J nxed It Uat winter for a severe
uimi 111 the time, resultlnc from a strain.
and was prcatly ploaxed with the quirk relief and
cure 11 (fleeted. For aula by U. A. Harding.
Accepted Suitor (engagingly) John--ir
you know I'm going to marry your
later and
Johnnie Aw, don't tell me yer trou-
'! I'm busy wit' my own. San
.. rancisco Examiner.
Makluar It Ey.
"It must be admitted," said the
'vnrtler, "that our emperor hus slm-
.lfled education wonderfully."
"In what way?"
"In order to answer the question
fho is the greatest general, diplomat
rttlc, poet and playwright? it is neces
try :jnly to mention his name."
-Washington Star.
An Kffectuul Qnletua.
He Why, we haven't even to extol
virtues of men to prove the infer!-
-Ity of women. The very fallings of
omnuklnd prove the point No worn-
u for example, has a sense of humor.
She She hasn't? Then why la It
.tit all bits of bright repartee are
.ollod Sallies? New York Times.
Died Hrlr.
"tier novel la one of the ephemeral
Oh, yea! It was published before
elm-It in the morning and was not
mipletoly forgotten until after
clock In the evening." Life.
A lerere TeatV
"Oh, yea; he used to consider her
&j dainty and graceful."
"And doesn't he think so now?"
"No; I believe he saw her eating as-
4rttgus the other day." Phlladelphi
' teas,
Georgia Jeatlee.
"I cant convict you on the evidence,'
aid the backwoods justice, "but I'm
sola' to fine you $10 for contempt for
tokln' Ilk I couldn't" Atlanta Cos
Tree Qenerealtr
Wlgg Say what you will of Bjonea,
'..e is generous to a fault.
Wagg Yea, if the fault happena to be
1 is own. Philadelphia Record.
Ilia Indlacretlon.
Clara What came between you?
Chloe Oh. be showed so much lm
,4tUuce with Fldo. Detroit Free
In Hammock Time.
Within her hammock rhyllla slept
When youthful Strephon came;
With noiseless feet to her he crept
And softly called her name..
Iler drooping laahea flew apart;
flM vca In frltrht nnMt wtilfl.
"Oh, my I You aeured me ao my heart
waa in my mourns ane crieu.
"Oh, aurely not! That cannot be;
You could not get at all
A Jewel quite ao big," anld he,
"into a place so small."
Cttthollo Standard sad Times,
Kentucky's hills are full of rills
And all the rills are lined witb stills,
And all the stills are full of gills,
And all the gills are full of thrills,
And all the thrills are full of kills.
Yon see, the feudists dot the bills
And camp along the little nils,
Convenient to the busy stills
And thirsting from the brimming
And wben the juice his system fills
Each feudist whoops around and
Now, if they'd only stop the stills
Thev'd cure Kentucky's manv ills-
Men would be spared to climb the
And operate the busy stills.
However, this would mean more gills
And that, of course, would mean more
Resulting in the same old kills.
So all the h ills and rills and stills
Aud all the gills and thrills and kills
Are splendid for the coffin mills
And makes more undertaker's bills.
W. D. . in Chicago Tribune.
Thought It Was a Muraer.
Frederick Nelson, deputy assessor,
was the cauee of a sensation at
Molalla the other dty. Fred is taking a
home study course 2 in medicine, and
while in Portland secure! some numau
bones which he proposed to use in his
studies. Fred owns a ranch on the
Molalla river near Liberal. jinking
that would be a good place to take the
Donee for bleaching purposes. Accord
ingly, he took the bones out there Mon
day. He had hardly got back to Oregon
City when a neighbor rancheriran across
the. bones. He immediately' recognized
them as human bones and jumped to
the conclusion that a mur er had been
done. Coroner Holman was notified
and was just about to go to the scene
and hold an inquest aud poet mortem,
when Fred trot wind of the affair and
hastened to make explanation.
Wheat Walla Walla, 7074c; val
lev. 77c:
Barley Feed, $20.00 per ton ; brewing
Flour Beet grade, $3.95 4.30; grah
am, $3.45 3.85.
lMjllstuffs Bran, $23 per ton; mid.
dings, $27 ; aborts, $23 ; chop, $18.
Oats No. 1 white, $1.10 1.15; gray,
$1.15 per cental.
Hay Timothy, $20 21; clover,
normuial ; $15 16 per too.
Potatoes Best burhanka, 4075c per
sack; ordinary, 3545c per cental;
growers' prices; Merced sweet?, i.
3.35 per cental.
Poultry Chickens, mixe '
c; young, 1314c; hens 12c; i e '
alive, 16rc; dressed, 2022o it
$77.5J perdosen; geese, $66 )
Cheese Full crea.n, twins, lo)4 'k '' 'i
Young America, 1514(c; it A
prices, llc less.
Butter Fancy creamery, 202bo
per pound: extras, 22c; dairy, 2022
store, 1618o.
Eg s 1720c per dozen.
Hops Choice, 1820c par pound. .
Wool Valley, 12,(g)l7.i ; Eastern
Oregon, 814.c! mohair. 3537c.
Beef Gross, cows, 3J4t; ; per pound
steers. 55Jc; dresaed, Hc.
Veal 78e.
Mutton Grocs, $3.50 per pound;
dressed 66c.
Lambfe Gross, 4o per pound; dresseJ
Hogs dross, 6a6Jc per pound;
dressed, 78u. N
Hla Creed.
"But madam," we say to the lady
who is attracting attention and excit
ing invidious comment by the risque
ness of her remarks and the uncon
ventionality of her actions, "don't you
believe In a hereafter?"
'SuTe I do!" she declares, winking
knowingly. "But" I draw the line on
these people who believe in a past."
Judge. ' .
An Explanation.
I am told that none of the princi
pals in the grand opera company speak
to one another." .
'"Well," answered Mr. Cumrox, "after
reading their names on the programme
I don't blame them for letting one an
other alone instead of trying to pro
nounce them." Washington Star.
The Music.
fourtl of July,
Parade io o'clock
Grand Marshal and Aids
Oregon City Band
Orator of the Day Carriage
Base Ball Teams
Grand Army of the Republic
Civic Organizations
Milwaukie Band
Flivts Cars, Etc.: ;
Cit-xi ns in Carriages
Cilizei.s on Foot
Si e .king- u o'ciock
At c -ity Park, Seventh Street, between
Auams and Jefferson
Water Sports i o'clock River front.
Log Rolling ist prize $7.50; 2d, $S.oo
Swimming Race ist, 7.oo; 2d, $5,00,
3d, 2.So
Boat Race, one half mile ist, $10.00 ;
2d, $5.00, 3d, $3.00
HOSE Races 2 o'clock, Main street
BASE Ball Canemah Park 3 o'clock
Monograms vs. Oregon City
RACES 5 o'clock, Main street
220 yard dash ist, $10.00; 2d $5.00
Boys'Race,i5 years and under, 75 yards,
1st, $3.00; 2d, $2.00, 3d, $1,00
Fat Man's Race, 1st, $5.00; 2d, $2.50
Wheelbarrow Race, 1st, $5.00, 2 d $2.00
Foot Race 100 yard dash, 1st $10.00;
2d, $5.00
Fireworks 0 o'clock.
She'd Jump at It.
Misa Woodby Really, you don't
think that I'd consider for a nilnnte a
proposal from him, do you?
Miss Ne witt Oh, no. Of con
wouldn't take that long. Brook,, r.
gle. '
Ho "Gloomy" DlaarnoniH
"Tea, she has a case of 'nerv
"W7hafa that?"
"Well, to be frank, it's the n
use when a wealthy patient
plain cranky." Chicago Post.
' He Trick.
"That la Mr. Jones, who will shortly ,
lead Mrs. Weed to the altar."
"Yes? After which she will take the
lead and he will simply follow suit"
Literally Trne.
"So you're living iu a flat now. Eow
do you like It?"
"Oh. I've got no room to kick."
Brooklyn Citizen. ,
An Explanation.
The Exception.
The Englishman I understu
Americans elect all your rulers
The American Yes, alj bu
wives. Just For Fun.
Teas What makes you think her
married life isn't happy?
; ' Jess Because she's forever urging
the rest of us girls to get married
too. Denver News.
Peddler Madam, I have here a fine
complexion beautifler which
Lady No, you don't work any skin
game on me. Cornell Widow.
A Martyr.
"- . 11 to the orchestra!" cried
ut.jd who had been taken to New
Jersey on her honeymoon.
"Orchestra?" asked the eroom.v "W ny,
that isn't' music it's mosquitoes."
Chicago Tribune.
AbooiKln traveler Dr. FowWi Exlrnot'of
Wilt! 1 niwK't tv. Cities ilvin!i v. Oiflt'lnma.
erasifknms, niiuusa. plrosttuMo lake. J'eiftoily
utu imes.s.
Foley's Honey and Tar
cures colas, prevents pneumonia.
Crom Force of Habit.
"Absent minded? I should say he Is!
He did something this morning that
broke the record."
"FTo was Htflndinff In front of that bier
French mirror and tackled himself for
I a fiver." Baltimore News.
-t' Affile.
Oldhand Got an automobile, have
yeu? Strange I never see you on the
B, Ginner That's because as soon as
I land there I pick myself up and
scramble back Into the machine. Phil
adelphia Press.
The Froated Hand.
"Yes, and after she refused me aha
waved her hand In farewell."
"Sort of cold wave, wasn't It?"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
, Little Waldo Beane (with a sigh)
Well, I must now discontinue my pe
rusal of this most interesting theory
of premosaic cosmic phenomena and
humor my poor nurse by allowing her
to read "Mother Goose" to mer-New
York Evening Journal. ? ;
Mlndfnl of the Form.
The timid young man at the picnic
hastily asked his sister to introduce
him to the young woman In the blue
shirt waist.
"Miss Tippltt," said his sister, "thia
la mv hrother. Mr. TaDDitt"
"Ol-irhid to meet VOU. Miss Tippitt,"
he said. "Pardon me for mentioning
It, but you are sitting on a bumble
bee's nest." Chicago Tribune.
Stage Manager Ladles and gentle
men, by looking at your programme
you will notice that two years are sup
posed to elapse between acts 1 and 2.
Inasmuch as the constable has seized.
the costumes I think It will be fully
that long before we get things settled.
Thanking you, one and all, for your
uniform courtesy, etc. New York Jonr-oal
Wanted to Be Sure of Her.
The old colored brother was bargain
ing for a monument to his late spouse.
"How much does dat big one weigni
he asked. " ' .. ' '
"Well." renlied the marble man, Mr
It's weight you're after, I should say
about a ton."
The widower thought a moment;
then, turning to his friend, said:
"You reckon dat'll hold her down?"
-.Atlanta Constitution.
Best Place ;
on Earth-
For wagons, buggies, har
ness and all lines of farm.
, implements.
a :
Challenge Sale Continues
Worth of line un-called-for tailor-made clothing, on which de
posits have been paid, purchased by my Chicago buyer, Joe
g Godfrey, at
1 Twenty Cents on the GDollar
$20.00 un-called-for, tailor-made
suits and overcoats ; Challenge
Sale price v 1
$22.50 un-called-for tailor-made
suits and overcoats; Challenge
Sale price
$25.00 and $30.00 un-called-for
tailor-made suits and overcoats;
Challenge Sale price
$30 and $35 un-called-for suits
and overcoots; Challenge Sale
$5 uncalled-for tailor-made trou
sers; Challenge Sale price
7.50 1 uncalled-for tailor-made
trousers; Challenge Sale price
$40, $50 and $60 un-called-for
tailor-made suits and overcoats;
Challenge Sale price
$10 uncalled-for tailor-made trou
sers; Challenge Sale price
$12.50 uncalled-for tailor-made
trousers; Challenge Sale price
Any Suit or Overcoat for
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