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About St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current | View Entire Issue (April 17, 1914)
Lot t water. '
dirt In wltlic,
JInko tho summar
Out of SlRlltl
Chicago Inter Oooan.
When in doubt keep your nee closed,
Mexico should cheer tip. At lennt,
alio' hnsn't any militant nutiingultes.
Our InnRimgoRrows npnee, "Soused,"
with tho Jng slgnlllcnnce, la now lu the
Knlckcr How do you remember to
irnter tho tUiuits when your wlfo Is
Docker I keep 'cut In tho bnthtub.
Jfow l'ork Hun,
There's n Cblncso crisis every other
day nnil n Liitlii-Atncrlcnn revolution
all tho time.
Tho nalccd truth will Imvo Its dins-
It shows up nil our nets
For there's no way to clonk n thing
Thai's made up of imro facts,
An odorless union might tnstc as
good ns tho old brand, but it would
never sccui natural.
"Ornolous, Smith) old boy, how nro
you? I hnven't soon you In nos. You
nro nltcrcd. I should senrcoly know
"Hxcuua me, sir; my iininu Is not
Until there Is criminal responsibil
ity for preventable "accidents" they
will continue to happen.
Tnxlettb fnros tiro so In Now
York Hint most people find It ehenper
to rldu In their own automobiles.
Your name altered ns
I'rostimnbly It Is woman's Innate
lovo of n bargain that Kcts hrr Into
trouble with tho customs olllclnls.
"I've rot a greenback," said tlin frog.
'I'll need It, too, nil right,
Tor I am going to attend
The fanar hop tonight"
London has n brencli of promise case
with n loro letter 110 panes Ioiik In It.
Probably no lovu could survive that.
"Marrlngo Is odd. You add one to
one and mnku one."
"How MliiKUlnrl" Judge.
Jm' vrheti a. follnr'n drowsln'
Whprs rlrer hieef.es creop
A Mali comes tuggln' at his line,
IJlnrln' of his sleep.
No rest for the weary
The world Is rollln' wrong
To he swnkened front a dresm
Ihr a Hull three Inohes longl
"What Is Hr.tonnl mnunetlsm?"
"I'lTHOinil itiaKui'tlsm," replied tho
manager, "Is what enables n man to
stiiiid up and keep tho nudlcnre Inter
oiled lu a lecture without the usu of
moving pictures." Washington Blur,
"My cup of Joy Is very full," sing
. . II'. .11 1.1 l I... it.. ......
II I"H'l, UN. ll.'t II IIU. W ill1" I'liu.
Don't try to chango places with the
When n man says bo Is n bachelor
from choice you can Just wager It's
from homo woman's choice, not bis
It will be dlltlcnlt'for tho mnn with
nn Income largo enough to make the
lux bothersome to secure much syui'
Ohio statistics show that clergymen
live longer than uiiybody elm. What
become of thu proverb that the good
DAMES AND DAUGHTERS.
Miss Prances Greeley Curtis was re
cently elected u member of tho Hoi
ton school board.
"Kverybody," said Kllcn Terry, "Is a
collector of one sort or another. My
hobby Is to collect cottages. I lone
eight, I believe, scattered here anil
there In the sweet Kngllsli country,"
Miss Kllzabcth Ooticlier, youngest
daughter of Dr. John V. Goiicher,
president emeritus of Goucher college,
Is to enter tho mission field In China
under tho direction of tho Women's
Foreign Missionary society. She will
spend at least llvo years lu educational
work, with headquarters nt Nanking,
Having collected pitchers from ovcry
part of tho world. Mrs. James A
Hcnsley of Knoxvlllw, Tcnn., his what
Is considered the largest prlvnto assort
ment lu the world. Hlio has nearly
2,000 ut her home. Somo of them nro
centuries old. and among the materials
represented In their composition nro
gold, silver, Ivory, glnss, chlnn, wood
Itn sued to hrenk his fnther's will,
He'd left n fortune groat.
The young inn n got Ihn verdict ami
Ills luwyors the ntnte.
When Turks nnd Iltilgiirlnus unit,
nu alliance It would seem to be tlm
to wriest thu ststus quo for uxceedln,
tho sieed limit.
"Did you notice that fellow nt
Orpheum right nppodlo tut J"
'"I'll at good looking fellow with tho
tail suit nnd ml tiecktle? No, Whyi"
Tu'iilvx Inch Hindis "innilit III Hill.'
Inml" for tho Onlted BtntoH navy hiik-
gust uottlons of Internal for Amen
Pretty hrlde In lit rnnee,
lire you iniddle off Willi him
J.Utmi I weufd n 'I el I'M i ymit
Did you ever leflrn to swim?
"And what," ho angrily dumauded,
"nin I to linvo lu return for nil tho
money I linru spent on youT"
"Well, you've got tho experience,"
rhu calmly replied. -Chicago Itecord-
If thu Jnxinoo should over suceetsl
In gulling China's 100,000,000 Inhabit
ants thoroughly nrousotl they woul
linvo their lltllo brown hands full.
A lliilllmoro man Is dwitl ufter hnv
.(ug uudurgono 'J00 surgical openitlons
In tlireo ytsirs. It will seem Just llku
vnuiitlon to tho llaltlmoro surgeons.
A little nig
With u uily tnll
Ami it Mitlny shin
All pinky pnlo
U u very ilrnt
Thing ly far
rrum the liiinim of lnlnilly
lilac Pig urn.
Mr. Coriieglu's world's ponce palace
urectiMl nt Tho llngiio ut u cost of $1
(iOO.OOO Is couiileled and dedicated. All
that Is lacking now Is world's peace.
Tho Wells-Fnrgo Kxproi coinpan,
1 1 re I w wen to get even with parcel pent
by cutting roles, mid tho people will
view thu full design with thu utmost
"Did Hint pnlinlst tell you tho truth
"Yes. but my wife bus been doing
t hut for years." lllriiiliiKliiim Ago-
Cheer up. nil you hard working, plain
people! Another blow ut the high cost
of living is nbout to bo struck. Thu
Kovorniuont bus Hlitrlwl lu to hunt (tie
"Why do yen run so fast, my UyV
ThU unnH'tr then whs made:
"When far entMuh from Johnny Jon
I'll eii, ! ain't afrwwr "
"Thu great ijiuwtloii of Hit hour li
(lib eo na I ipiestlou."
"Nu, nllmuulury; how to keep tttullc
pausing through It ut piuwut food
'J'lie miaatlun has uuw been nilsisl
wlwtlmr wuman nrigliiMlly eoine before
nta ii, Nu oii, liowovtir. will dony
tlMt, bo tlmt Ha It limy, she bits been
aftw him vr allien.
A dlalliwulshutl HutlmWty suys tlmt
rich HKplo llvo longer than poor peo
h. lu spite of lltla flirt people con
lliuirt to Im Isiru immii. H must bo nt
lilbiillvo to Iguoruuro.
"Arltliinetla," sahl TWMOiy Tulihs,
"I study hnrd nt nlgat.
I want to r.t mi I ohm lead
These I.uhoImII hox seorea riftit."
- Cincinnati Comi04Mbil Trllsiue.
Mother (Impntleully)-l don't know
what will over btsiomo of tlmt child.
Nothing pleases him.
1'sther (serenely) Wo'll iniiko nu art
critic of lilm.-nick.
A Now York Jolieamltli has written
u now lllnetto ror imo or veriirs op
eras, Thu next wo know somo sure
lire khnrn from Tluism alloy will be
llnUuiing up the iiiuslc.
Upon the m
The hrcikwa lwr
And fret with frowns unfndlnr,
Ini'omrd no doubt
At what turns out
Tor homd walk promenadlHg.
"What do I wiy nt tho wedding"
"Not a word, dad. All you utter It
the eheok." Kaunas City Journal.
flow small n plltanio they receive
Ttie downoant ixU tall.
To live they heads must strike the lyre
And strike their friends ns well.
"(let nny merclso whllo you were
"Plenty of It. My wife dratted four
times a day and 1 did the buttoning
tr her."'nshliigton lloreld,
And nmv Dr. Dubbe or mnw other
eminent scientist anys Mother ltvo whs
fashioned from Adam's IweklMiuo. Wu
deduct tlmt u sidueleart inollyeoddlo
hits ihorofuro it strsln of Adam lu Ids
ApiKirently nil that tho ordinary cltl
xen bus to do lu order to gut tho cor
rect time by government wlroloss Is to
curry with him it 100 foot tower nnd a
receiving Instrument attuned to '.',f00
motor waves. It's, going to bu a grout
Now It Is proposed to inako tho Hfo-
IsMtti on the Atlanlle lluors of much
grottter otteh cuisiblo of currying
860 imnwoim, bulng iMrllnlly decked
over Hiid drlvon liy gusollno. Baerl-
lice of roiHHiicu fur safely lu this man
ner will bo Kouurtilly approved.
"Mere's yuor malasaea," said the ojetk.
"New pay mtt. little man."
"TW nUkel," lUpetl tho llttlo boy, "wath
In Ih thlrtip can."
- Qalveaton New,
Amerlcnus are about to build a hotel
In Tokyo which will bu n reproduction
of tho boat Now York has to offer.
This U rather n cruel way of getting
oven with tho Japs for nil tho annoy,
nuco thsy have been causing about
CNllfornln, Mngdalcuu bay, etc.
"Dud, what do thoy inonii lyr untold
"Means tho niau bMii't tiled a tux
stnteineiit. son." Inilsvlllo OoiuK
Tbty held a rou to his Hoetrils.
lie gave a violent start.
It made him slak, he Kild thetti-
Mti dilvcs a Garbage oart.
"Why r you In such n hurry for
the now currency"
"The llttlo supply that 1 had of the
old Is almost oxhuiixted." Iluffulo Hx-press.
REVIEW'S LEGAL BLANKS
The following list of lcgnl blanks
ar kept for sale at this office ami
ethers will be added as the dettiniul
Warranty deeds, Quit Claim
Dtde Realty and Chattel Mort
gage, Satisfaction of Mortgages,
ontracta for Sale of Realty, Hills
of Sale, Leases.
TJio imrcluiso of n '.'.OOO.OOO art col-
lootlwi t Krankfortoii tho-Mnln by
'an uukuowu Amerlcuu" constltiiuw
suolhor in Id of tho American dollar
ou the Hit treasures of Kuropo. Will
Uuropo yet class lullllounlro Amerlcuu
eollucturs as uudoslniblo Immigrants
Mtkit nnd eggs that Imvo been In n
Philadelphia cold storage houto since
11)08 have boon condemned, and thus
another Jolt Is given to somo shrewd
dealers, who thought that they would
help to tkHMt tho high cost of living by
holding tndcilultcly for tho top of thu
G. W. OVERSTREET
Plumbing and Gas
Job work promptly attended to.
Phone Columbia 690
311 S, Jersey Street St. Johns, Oregon
Cost of Living.
Food prices Jumped GO per cent In
thirteen years. Always n few Jumps
tihond of tho consumer. New ork
The price of food has risen 00 pet
cent In thirteen years and tho tuallt)
of It In the average family about 100
per cent. Philadelphia Ledger.
Willi bacon 12.HT. per cent hlghei
than thu nverage prices between IB'.M
nud 1000, It Isn't surprising that It Is
rnther hard to get enough breakfast
no wailnys. Indianapolis News.
The Washington chamber oft com
merce wants to prevent the tisoof veal
ss food, ou thu theory that It would
moke beef cheaper. Why not go fur
ther, and prevent tho use of eggs ns
fond, nnd reduce tho price of chicken
Detroit I'reo Press.
As n design for HnMou's proposed
municipal (lag what's the matter with
n pot of beam rampant on a Held d'or,
lu thu form, say, of u big yellow pump
kin plo llosloii Transcript.
Now Yorkers, ns iimal In summer,
went to the country for their health,
nnd their return to tho city In tho full
Iv cmplinslr.ed by nu outbreak of ty
phold, nlso ns iisunl New York World.
Tho niinoiiucemeiit that Chicago now
i-Htlniiitos Its population nt 'J,n$3,r00
may remind you that Chicago Is one
u (lie most liberal llttlo population
estimators that ever liappciied.-In-dlntuiiolls
Tho Big Yacht Race.
There's many it slip 'twlxt tho cup
nnd tho end of tho yncht race. Wnsh,
With a cup defender built fu Ithode
Island nnd managed by u llostou man,
Nuw York wisely shares tho glory nnd
responsibility of thwarting the evil de
sign of Sir Thomas next year. Hoston
Announcements tlmt Kir Thumn
Upton Is conlldent that ho will lift th
cup nro essential to tho game. With
nut coiilldnnco on thu part of Kir Thoin
ns yachting would have luiigtilshed
long iigo. Washington Star.
Luther Burbank has accomplished more in the
development of plums than all others in the world
NINETY-FIVE per cent of all new plums introduced during the past
twenty-three years that have become standard are Burbank product
ions, although five times as many were introduced from other sources.
This record speaks volumes for the genius of Luther Burbank.
Some Burbank fruit trees in your yard will add much to your pleasure and profits.
l is now possible by those who grow the Burbank plums to secure a continual supply
of plums fresh picked from the tree over a season of three months.
A distinguishing feature of all the Burbank fruits is the extremely early bearing
characteristic. Call on us and we will tell you how for the first time the opportunity is
yours for obtaining the wonderful Burbank Plums, Plumcots, Peaches, Cherries
Stoneless Prunes, Pineapple Quince and the Burbank Berries.
Grow a tuther Burbank Garden for $1.00
Twelve varities of Burbank's own selection of his own seeds are of
fered in this garden. By planting a Burbank garden you will get a most
gorgeous array of color and variety in size.
Buy Burbank's garden today and we are sure that you will become
an enthusiastic admirer of this man's genius. The Lauther Burbank
Company is the sole distributor of Burbank's horticultural productions.
We are the sole representative of the Luther Burbank Company in this
With every $1.00 purchase we will give you a copy of the book
written by Luther Burbank himself, "The Culture of Flowers, Fruits, and
BONHAM & CURRIER
A prisoner In riilladolphln, who sny
he's hii nctor, had 800 skeleton keys
May bo tho man who lets tho ghost ou
to wulk.-Now York Tologrtun.
King George has revived tho Order
of thu Until. The Insidious lobby at the
court of St. Juntos, wu Imagine. Is
maintained by tho plumbers' trust. St
Secretnry Daniels' singing lossous for
naval recruits may yet insult lu pro
viding every man of war In tho service
with a "Hnaforo" chorus of the best
tiuallty. Now York World.
Prussian pollco are empowered to
prohibit the defacement of landscapes
by the erection of billboards and other
signs and pictures.
A sound proof house lu llorllu has
llfty rooms, nnd a musician may pruc
(Ice lu any one of them without Inter
ferlng with Ids neighbor.
My thu spring of 11)15 Germany will
have widened Its Kiel ciinnl forty-live
feet nud will Imvo constructed two
double locks larger than those of tho
Wntoli out for tho olutriiotni
Housekeenincr rooms for Rant, social CIVQH hv tho nhi'ist inn
Inquire 585 South Jersey street. I church In Bickner hall April 18.
Oiilmot tho enemy nud they nro
ours. -New York World.
I( Is no small triumph to bo able to
putt a scare Into those. Kngllsli golf
champions. Hasten Herald.
To tho iKudghted man In tho street
oiio seems to ipinllfy ns n golf fan If
oub knows that Trovers nnd Travis
nro not tho same person. Chicago
Woman and Politics.
A woman lu politics will never bo
able to throw mud straight. Italtltuoro
Possibly ono solution of tho suffrage
matter might bo to let women vote In
place of the meu who won't, llilladel-
If women voted could tho husband
lutluenco his wife's ballot with the
promise of u now lint? Perhaps and
perhaps not Hut what bus that to do
with tho question of women's right to
otoT llaltlmoro American.
for Men and Women
EASTERN OUTFITTING GO,
405 Washington St.
Portland, - Oregon
107 S Jersey Street
Call up Columbia 92
St. Johns Furniture
Gus Salmond, MgK
New and Second
Bought, Sold and Ex
205 S. Jsrssy Strsat
Sec us Tor ttie Choicest Cub of
the Best Meats Obtainable.
Order rUttd and family Trad SoHctUd.
T. P. WARD. Proprietor.
We buy or sell St. Johns Property
McKINNGY & DAVIS
List your property with us if you
desire to sell quickly
02 N, Jersey St. St. Johns
Widely scattered have been built
by the Portland Railway, Light &
Power Company for the purpose of
Reliable Electric Service
to its patrons. Through high
tension transmission lines each .
of these generating plants are iutcr
commuuicative, so that the service
i.t insured against unforeseen
Portland Railway, Light & Power Company
Broadway and Alder Streets
Phone Marshall 5100 Home A. 6131
R. A. JAYNE, A. D.
Office over First Natlonsi Dank
Office Phone Columbia 262
Res. Phone Columbia 196
JOSEPH McCHESNCY, M. D.
Physician and Surgeon.
Dajr Nlxht Offlca In McCbmnay Ulk.
SL Johno, Oregon.
Studio 401 Altn Street.
MISS MALENA E. LONO
Phone Columbia 7
DR. FRANK F. CASSEDAY
Specialist in Dluists frf tht Eye. Ear, No,
Throat ir4 LurJi
Operative and Medical Treatment
Expcit Titling of Classes
SlS-JiT I)kum HKlg . Third and Wathlngtoa Sts.
1'honts Mala aji and AM74I- foutsud, Ore.
Ilrlng Id your Job printing wblle
you think of It. Oou't watt until you
'ire entire!; out. Wo ore equipped j
to tun out Mat aad Utr PrUUs
Keep Your Fowls Free from Lice
Chicken Uce cost the poultryman more money
than all other Items of poultry expense com
bined They kill thousand of chickens every
thu loss by dustine your
Conkey't Lice Powder
a combination of effective lice killing Ingre,
dients. It's quick and sure.
Kill the Lice, Doesn't Harm Chickens
Its use means bigger poultry profits. Restores
health and vitality to your (lock. Guaranteed.
Price 25c and 50c
Conkey't Lice Liquid
Sprayed about the poultry house will rid
your chickens of the life-aapplng mites that
live in the cracks and crevice.
Qt J5c half gal 60c, gal JI CkX
Conkey't Head Lice Ointment
rubbed on the head of little chicks will
quickly kill the deadly head louse without
injury to the chick. Sale and sure. lOcandaSc.
Ym Ur Bwk If Cwl. U.. KiUUj
FnauU Do Not Ii.tr
Lauthers Mercantile Company
0. J. GATZA1YER
ATTORNEY AT LAW
ST. JOHNS . . OREGON
PERRY C. STROUD
First National Dank Building
ST. JOHNS . . . OREGON
Office Phone Columbia 2
Residence Phone Columbia 19S
M.Johns hxpress, transfer
and Storage Co.
Piauo Moving a -Specialty. Haul
ing done to ana iroui Portland
Residence 400 Hast Richmond
Oflice 103 North Jersey Street
uattr irtpe 10 fortianu.
CHAS. SAGRRT, Prop.
ORDER EASTERN STAR
Minerva Chapter No. 105
Meets Every First and Third
k Tuesday Rveulng of Bach
Month lu Bickner' Hall.
211 K. Johuston, Worthy Matroa.
Mr. J, A, 3tepai, Satrttary,
Ma Fuel Co.
Phone Cohunbia 215
That Good Coal
One Ton $10.00
Two Ton $19.00
Cordwood, first growth ?6.00
Mve Order at St. Johns Water
THAD. T. PARKER
ATTORNEY AND COUNSfLOR AT LAW
Rooms 7 and 8
Holbrook UuilditiR ST. JOHNS
Phone Columbia 61
First National Bank building.
ST. JOHNS. OREGON.
DR. J. VINTON SCOTT
Open Evanlng and Sundays j Aa
Office I'hone Columbia 140
Resident Nione Columbia 38
No. 186 I. O. O. f
ST. JOHNS, OREGON
M eU each Monday evening la Odd FaV
lows hall at t,q. A cordial welcome to
all visltinc brothers.
Noble Grand, O H. Fenhani.
Trcaur:r. It. P. Clark..
Kc. Sec.. O. S. Iane.
I'in. Sec. K. SWrtght.
HOLMES LODGE NO. 101
knights or PVIIMAS
Meets every Friday night at
730 o'clock in I.'O. O. P
Hall. Visitors always wel
come. A. W. FICKRL. C. C.
P. V. HORSMAN. K. R. S
DORIC DODGE NO. 132
A. r. and A. M,
on hrst wedacstiays ol
each month in B-icVutr's
Hall. Visitors welcoaae.
yhw. A. Fry, W, M.
A. w, Javi Sr etary.