Lot t water. ' Little food, Thinner clothing-, Pleasant mood, Living simply, dirt In wltlic, JInko tho summar Out of SlRlltl Chicago Inter Oooan. When in doubt keep your nee closed, Mexico should cheer tip. At lennt, alio' hnsn't any militant nutiingultes. Our InnRimgoRrows npnee, "Soused," with tho Jng slgnlllcnnce, la now lu the dlctlonnry. Knlckcr How do you remember to irnter tho tUiuits when your wlfo Is awny? Docker I keep 'cut In tho bnthtub. Jfow l'ork Hun, There's n Cblncso crisis every other day nnil n Liitlii-Atncrlcnn revolution all tho time. Tho nalccd truth will Imvo Its dins- It shows up nil our nets For there's no way to clonk n thing Thai's made up of imro facts, Cincinnati Enquirer, An odorless union might tnstc as good ns tho old brand, but it would never sccui natural. "Ornolous, Smith) old boy, how nro you? I hnven't soon you In nos. You nro nltcrcd. I should senrcoly know you strain." "Hxcuua me, sir; my iininu Is not Kwltb." "OrtMtt Scottl welir-AVnsp. Until there Is criminal responsibil ity for preventable "accidents" they will continue to happen. Tnxlettb fnros tiro so In Now York Hint most people find It ehenper to rldu In their own automobiles. Your name altered ns I'rostimnbly It Is woman's Innate lovo of n bargain that Kcts hrr Into trouble with tho customs olllclnls. "I've rot a greenback," said tlin frog. 'I'll need It, too, nil right, Tor I am going to attend The fanar hop tonight" Pittsburgh I'res. London has n brencli of promise case with n loro letter 110 panes Ioiik In It. Probably no lovu could survive that. "Marrlngo Is odd. You add one to one and mnku one." "How MliiKUlnrl" Judge. Jm' vrheti a. follnr'n drowsln' Whprs rlrer hieef.es creop A Mali comes tuggln' at his line, IJlnrln' of his sleep. No rest for the weary The world Is rollln' wrong To he swnkened front a dresm Ihr a Hull three Inohes longl -Atlanta Coiiatltiltlon. "What Is Hr.tonnl mnunetlsm?" "I'lTHOinil itiaKui'tlsm," replied tho manager, "Is what enables n man to stiiiid up and keep tho nudlcnre Inter oiled lu a lecture without the usu of moving pictures." Washington Blur, "My cup of Joy Is very full," sing . . II'. .11 1.1 l I... it.. ...... II I"H'l, UN. ll.'t II IIU. W ill1" I'liu. Don't try to chango places with the cup. ) When n man says bo Is n bachelor from choice you can Just wager It's from homo woman's choice, not bis own. It will be dlltlcnlt'for tho mnn with nn Income largo enough to make the lux bothersome to secure much syui' pnthy. Ohio statistics show that clergymen live longer than uiiybody elm. What become of thu proverb that the good dlu young DAMES AND DAUGHTERS. Miss Prances Greeley Curtis was re cently elected u member of tho Hoi ton school board. "Kverybody," said Kllcn Terry, "Is a collector of one sort or another. My hobby Is to collect cottages. I lone eight, I believe, scattered here anil there In the sweet Kngllsli country," Miss Kllzabcth Ooticlier, youngest daughter of Dr. John V. Goiicher, president emeritus of Goucher college, Is to enter tho mission field In China under tho direction of tho Women's Foreign Missionary society. She will spend at least llvo years lu educational work, with headquarters nt Nanking, Having collected pitchers from ovcry part of tho world. Mrs. James A Hcnsley of Knoxvlllw, Tcnn., his what Is considered the largest prlvnto assort ment lu the world. Hlio has nearly 2,000 ut her home. Somo of them nro centuries old. and among the materials represented In their composition nro gold, silver, Ivory, glnss, chlnn, wood and pottery. Itn sued to hrenk his fnther's will, He'd left n fortune groat. The young inn n got Ihn verdict ami Ills luwyors the ntnte. -lCichnni. When Turks nnd Iltilgiirlnus unit, nu alliance It would seem to be tlm to wriest thu ststus quo for uxceedln, tho sieed limit. tho "Did you notice that fellow nt Orpheum right nppodlo tut J" '"I'll at good looking fellow with tho tail suit nnd ml tiecktle? No, Whyi" Wisconsin Hphlnx. Tu'iilvx Inch Hindis "innilit III Hill.' Inml" for tho Onlted BtntoH navy hiik- gust uottlons of Internal for Amen eon Ntoelmnkura. Pretty hrlde In lit rnnee, lire you iniddle off Willi him J.Utmi I weufd n 'I el I'M i ymit Did you ever leflrn to swim? -Judge) "And what," ho angrily dumauded, "nin I to linvo lu return for nil tho money I linru spent on youT" "Well, you've got tho experience," rhu calmly replied. -Chicago Itecord- Hornld. If thu Jnxinoo should over suceetsl In gulling China's 100,000,000 Inhabit ants thoroughly nrousotl they woul linvo their lltllo brown hands full. A lliilllmoro man Is dwitl ufter hnv .(ug uudurgono 'J00 surgical openitlons In tlireo ytsirs. It will seem Just llku vnuiitlon to tho llaltlmoro surgeons. A little nig With u uily tnll Ami it Mitlny shin All pinky pnlo U u very ilrnt Thing ly far rrum the liiinim of lnlnilly lilac Pig urn. -I'lttkhurRh Dbpateli. Mr. Coriieglu's world's ponce palace urectiMl nt Tho llngiio ut u cost of $1 (iOO.OOO Is couiileled and dedicated. All that Is lacking now Is world's peace. Tho Wells-Fnrgo Kxproi coinpan, 1 1 re I w wen to get even with parcel pent by cutting roles, mid tho people will view thu full design with thu utmost tiiiiiinliiilly. "Did Hint pnlinlst tell you tho truth about yourself" "Yes. but my wife bus been doing t hut for years." lllriiiliiKliiim Ago- Humid. Cheer up. nil you hard working, plain people! Another blow ut the high cost of living is nbout to bo struck. Thu Kovorniuont bus Hlitrlwl lu to hunt (tie Juwolry trust. "Why do yen run so fast, my UyV ThU unnH'tr then whs made: "When far entMuh from Johnny Jon I'll eii, ! ain't afrwwr " -Uitlnoott'a.' "Thu great ijiuwtloii of Hit hour li (lib eo na I ipiestlou." "I'niiunmr "Nu, nllmuulury; how to keep tttullc pausing through It ut piuwut food prices." WeHsprlug. 'J'lie miaatlun has uuw been nilsisl wlwtlmr wuman nrigliiMlly eoine before nta ii, Nu oii, liowovtir. will dony tlMt, bo tlmt Ha It limy, she bits been aftw him vr allien. A dlalliwulshutl HutlmWty suys tlmt rich HKplo llvo longer than poor peo h. lu spite of lltla flirt people con lliuirt to Im Isiru immii. H must bo nt lilbiillvo to Iguoruuro. "Arltliinetla," sahl TWMOiy Tulihs, "I study hnrd nt nlgat. I want to r.t mi I ohm lead These I.uhoImII hox seorea riftit." - Cincinnati Comi04Mbil Trllsiue. Mother (Impntleully)-l don't know what will over btsiomo of tlmt child. Nothing pleases him. 1'sther (serenely) Wo'll iniiko nu art critic of lilm.-nick. A Now York Jolieamltli has written u now lllnetto ror imo or veriirs op eras, Thu next wo know somo sure lire khnrn from Tluism alloy will be llnUuiing up the iiiuslc. Upon the m The hrcikwa lwr And fret with frowns unfndlnr, Ini'omrd no doubt At what turns out Tor homd walk promenadlHg. -Wnslilngton "tar. "What do I wiy nt tho wedding" "Not a word, dad. All you utter It the eheok." Kaunas City Journal. flow small n plltanio they receive Ttie downoant ixU tall. To live they heads must strike the lyre And strike their friends ns well. -llsatwi TraHsertpt- "(let nny merclso whllo you were away" "Plenty of It. My wife dratted four times a day and 1 did the buttoning tr her."'nshliigton lloreld, And nmv Dr. Dubbe or mnw other eminent scientist anys Mother ltvo whs fashioned from Adam's IweklMiuo. Wu deduct tlmt u sidueleart inollyeoddlo hits ihorofuro it strsln of Adam lu Ids makeup. ApiKirently nil that tho ordinary cltl xen bus to do lu order to gut tho cor rect time by government wlroloss Is to curry with him it 100 foot tower nnd a receiving Instrument attuned to '.',f00 motor waves. It's, going to bu a grout help. Now It Is proposed to inako tho Hfo- IsMtti on the Atlanlle lluors of much grottter otteh cuisiblo of currying 860 imnwoim, bulng iMrllnlly decked over Hiid drlvon liy gusollno. Baerl- lice of roiHHiicu fur safely lu this man ner will bo Kouurtilly approved. "Mere's yuor malasaea," said the ojetk. "New pay mtt. little man." "TW nUkel," lUpetl tho llttlo boy, "wath In Ih thlrtip can." - Qalveaton New, Amerlcnus are about to build a hotel In Tokyo which will bu n reproduction of tho boat Now York has to offer. This U rather n cruel way of getting oven with tho Japs for nil tho annoy, nuco thsy have been causing about CNllfornln, Mngdalcuu bay, etc. "Dud, what do thoy inonii lyr untold wssltur "Means tho niau bMii't tiled a tux stnteineiit. son." Inilsvlllo OoiuK Journnl. Tbty held a rou to his Hoetrils. lie gave a violent start. It made him slak, he Kild thetti- Mti dilvcs a Garbage oart. Uraaklyn Times. "Why r you In such n hurry for the now currency" "The llttlo supply that 1 had of the old Is almost oxhuiixted." Iluffulo Hx-press. REVIEW'S LEGAL BLANKS The following list of lcgnl blanks ar kept for sale at this office ami ethers will be added as the dettiniul rises: Warranty deeds, Quit Claim Dtde Realty and Chattel Mort gage, Satisfaction of Mortgages, ontracta for Sale of Realty, Hills of Sale, Leases. TJio imrcluiso of n '.'.OOO.OOO art col- lootlwi t Krankfortoii tho-Mnln by 'an uukuowu Amerlcuu" constltiiuw suolhor in Id of tho American dollar ou the Hit treasures of Kuropo. Will Uuropo yet class lullllounlro Amerlcuu eollucturs as uudoslniblo Immigrants Mtkit nnd eggs that Imvo been In n Philadelphia cold storage houto since 11)08 have boon condemned, and thus another Jolt Is given to somo shrewd dealers, who thought that they would help to tkHMt tho high cost of living by holding tndcilultcly for tho top of thu market G. W. OVERSTREET Plumbing and Gas Flttlnrj Job work promptly attended to. Phone Columbia 690 311 S, Jersey Street St. Johns, Oregon Cost of Living. Food prices Jumped GO per cent In thirteen years. Always n few Jumps tihond of tho consumer. New ork America ti. The price of food has risen 00 pet cent In thirteen years and tho tuallt) of It In the average family about 100 per cent. Philadelphia Ledger. Willi bacon 12.HT. per cent hlghei than thu nverage prices between IB'.M nud 1000, It Isn't surprising that It Is rnther hard to get enough breakfast no wailnys. Indianapolis News. The Washington chamber oft com merce wants to prevent the tisoof veal ss food, ou thu theory that It would moke beef cheaper. Why not go fur ther, and prevent tho use of eggs ns fond, nnd reduce tho price of chicken Detroit I'reo Press. Town Topics. As n design for HnMou's proposed municipal (lag what's the matter with n pot of beam rampant on a Held d'or, lu thu form, say, of u big yellow pump kin plo llosloii Transcript. Now Yorkers, ns iimal In summer, went to the country for their health, nnd their return to tho city In tho full Iv cmplinslr.ed by nu outbreak of ty phold, nlso ns iisunl New York World. Tho niinoiiucemeiit that Chicago now i-Htlniiitos Its population nt 'J,n$3,r00 may remind you that Chicago Is one u (lie most liberal llttlo population estimators that ever liappciied.-In-dlntuiiolls News. Tho Big Yacht Race. There's many it slip 'twlxt tho cup nnd tho end of tho yncht race. Wnsh, lugtoii Humid. With a cup defender built fu Ithode Island nnd managed by u llostou man, Nuw York wisely shares tho glory nnd responsibility of thwarting the evil de sign of Sir Thomas next year. Hoston Herald. Announcements tlmt Kir Thumn Upton Is conlldent that ho will lift th cup nro essential to tho game. With nut coiilldnnco on thu part of Kir Thoin ns yachting would have luiigtilshed long iigo. Washington Star. Luther Burbank has accomplished more in the development of plums than all others in the world combined e NINETY-FIVE per cent of all new plums introduced during the past twenty-three years that have become standard are Burbank product ions, although five times as many were introduced from other sources. This record speaks volumes for the genius of Luther Burbank. Some Burbank fruit trees in your yard will add much to your pleasure and profits. l is now possible by those who grow the Burbank plums to secure a continual supply of plums fresh picked from the tree over a season of three months. A distinguishing feature of all the Burbank fruits is the extremely early bearing characteristic. Call on us and we will tell you how for the first time the opportunity is yours for obtaining the wonderful Burbank Plums, Plumcots, Peaches, Cherries Stoneless Prunes, Pineapple Quince and the Burbank Berries. Grow a tuther Burbank Garden for $1.00 Twelve varities of Burbank's own selection of his own seeds are of fered in this garden. By planting a Burbank garden you will get a most gorgeous array of color and variety in size. Buy Burbank's garden today and we are sure that you will become an enthusiastic admirer of this man's genius. The Lauther Burbank Company is the sole distributor of Burbank's horticultural productions. We are the sole representative of the Luther Burbank Company in this city. With every $1.00 purchase we will give you a copy of the book written by Luther Burbank himself, "The Culture of Flowers, Fruits, and Vegetables." i BONHAM & CURRIER Flippant Flings. A prisoner In riilladolphln, who sny he's hii nctor, had 800 skeleton keys May bo tho man who lets tho ghost ou to wulk.-Now York Tologrtun. King George has revived tho Order of thu Until. The Insidious lobby at the court of St. Juntos, wu Imagine. Is maintained by tho plumbers' trust. St I.ouls Itepubllu. Secretnry Daniels' singing lossous for naval recruits may yet insult lu pro viding every man of war In tho service with a "Hnaforo" chorus of the best tiuallty. Now York World. German Gleanings. Prussian pollco are empowered to prohibit the defacement of landscapes by the erection of billboards and other signs and pictures. A sound proof house lu llorllu has llfty rooms, nnd a musician may pruc (Ice lu any one of them without Inter ferlng with Ids neighbor. My thu spring of 11)15 Germany will have widened Its Kiel ciinnl forty-live feet nud will Imvo constructed two double locks larger than those of tho I'ouumu canal. Golf Links. Wntoli out for tho olutriiotni Housekeenincr rooms for Rant, social CIVQH hv tho nhi'ist inn Inquire 585 South Jersey street. I church In Bickner hall April 18. Oiilmot tho enemy nud they nro ours. -New York World. I( Is no small triumph to bo able to putt a scare Into those. Kngllsli golf champions. Hasten Herald. To tho iKudghted man In tho street oiio seems to ipinllfy ns n golf fan If oub knows that Trovers nnd Travis nro not tho same person. Chicago News. Woman and Politics. A woman lu politics will never bo able to throw mud straight. Italtltuoro Amerlcuu. Possibly ono solution of tho suffrage matter might bo to let women vote In place of the meu who won't, llilladel- ph)n Ledger. If women voted could tho husband lutluenco his wife's ballot with the promise of u now lint? Perhaps and perhaps not Hut what bus that to do with tho question of women's right to otoT llaltlmoro American. Good Clothes for Men and Women ON CREDIT EASTERN OUTFITTING GO, 405 Washington St. Portland, - Oregon EDMONDSON CO. 107 S Jersey Street MODERNMCTTIODS IN Plumbing, Tinning AND Furnace Installing Call up Columbia 92 St. Johns Furniture Company Gus Salmond, MgK New and Second Hand Furniture Bought, Sold and Ex changed Central Market! 205 S. Jsrssy Strsat Sec us Tor ttie Choicest Cub of the Best Meats Obtainable. Order rUttd and family Trad SoHctUd. T. P. WARD. Proprietor. We buy or sell St. Johns Property McKINNGY & DAVIS Real Estate List your property with us if you desire to sell quickly 02 N, Jersey St. St. Johns TEN Where Located Portland (2) Oregon City Silverton Cazadcro Kstacadu Dull Run Coring St. Johns Salem ELECTRIC GENERATING PLANTS Widely scattered have been built by the Portland Railway, Light & Power Company for the purpose of providing Reliable Electric Service r to its patrons. Through high tension transmission lines each . of these generating plants are iutcr commuuicative, so that the service i.t insured against unforeseen interruptions. Portland Railway, Light & Power Company Broadway and Alder Streets Phone Marshall 5100 Home A. 6131 R. A. JAYNE, A. D. Office over First Natlonsi Dank Office Phone Columbia 262 Res. Phone Columbia 196 JOSEPH McCHESNCY, M. D. Physician and Surgeon. Dajr Nlxht Offlca In McCbmnay Ulk. SL Johno, Oregon. i s tPiano instruction Studio 401 Altn Street. llcglnntris Hxcllt) MISS MALENA E. LONO Phone Columbia 7 DR. FRANK F. CASSEDAY Specialist in Dluists frf tht Eye. Ear, No, Throat ir4 LurJi Operative and Medical Treatment Expcit Titling of Classes Moderate Piices SlS-JiT I)kum HKlg . Third and Wathlngtoa Sts. 1'honts Mala aji and AM74I- foutsud, Ore. Ilrlng Id your Job printing wblle you think of It. Oou't watt until you 'ire entire!; out. Wo ore equipped j to tun out Mat aad Utr PrUUs i Ask for Conkey't Free Poultry Booklet Keep Your Fowls Free from Lice Chicken Uce cost the poultryman more money than all other Items of poultry expense com bined They kill thousand of chickens every year. Prevent fowls with thu loss by dustine your Conkey't Lice Powder a combination of effective lice killing Ingre, dients. It's quick and sure. Kill the Lice, Doesn't Harm Chickens Its use means bigger poultry profits. Restores health and vitality to your (lock. Guaranteed. Price 25c and 50c Conkey't Lice Liquid Sprayed about the poultry house will rid your chickens of the life-aapplng mites that live in the cracks and crevice. Qt J5c half gal 60c, gal JI CkX Conkey't Head Lice Ointment rubbed on the head of little chicks will quickly kill the deadly head louse without injury to the chick. Sale and sure. lOcandaSc. Ym Ur Bwk If Cwl. U.. KiUUj FnauU Do Not Ii.tr Lauthers Mercantile Company iSosdSOc Ql.Mc2Ql.6fe uil4g IOslW 0. J. GATZA1YER ATTORNEY AT LAW McDonald Building ST. JOHNS . . OREGON PERRY C. STROUD LAWYER First National Dank Building ST. JOHNS . . . OREGON Office Phone Columbia 2 Residence Phone Columbia 19S M.Johns hxpress, transfer and Storage Co. Piauo Moving a -Specialty. Haul ing done to ana iroui Portland Residence 400 Hast Richmond Oflice 103 North Jersey Street uattr irtpe 10 fortianu. CHAS. SAGRRT, Prop. ORDER EASTERN STAR Minerva Chapter No. 105 Meets Every First and Third k Tuesday Rveulng of Bach Month lu Bickner' Hall. 211 K. Johuston, Worthy Matroa. Mr. J, A, 3tepai, Satrttary, Ma Fuel Co. Phone Cohunbia 215 "HIAWATHA" That Good Coal One Ton $10.00 Two Ton $19.00 Cordwood, first growth ?6.00 per Cord. Mve Order at St. Johns Water Oftea. THAD. T. PARKER ATTORNEY AND COUNSfLOR AT LAW Rooms 7 and 8 Holbrook UuilditiR ST. JOHNS OR. KAMIJO DENTIST Phone Columbia 61 First National Bank building. ST. JOHNS. OREGON. DR. J. VINTON SCOTT DENTIST Open Evanlng and Sundays j Aa pointraent. Office I'hone Columbia 140 Resident Nione Columbia 38 LAUKLL LODGE No. 186 I. O. O. f ST. JOHNS, OREGON M eU each Monday evening la Odd FaV lows hall at t,q. A cordial welcome to all visltinc brothers. Noble Grand, O H. Fenhani. Trcaur:r. It. P. Clark.. Kc. Sec.. O. S. Iane. I'in. Sec. K. SWrtght. HOLMES LODGE NO. 101 knights or PVIIMAS Meets every Friday night at 730 o'clock in I.'O. O. P Hall. Visitors always wel come. A. W. FICKRL. C. C. P. V. HORSMAN. K. R. S DORIC DODGE NO. 132 A. r. and A. M, Regular conimunkatiOBS on hrst wedacstiays ol each month in B-icVutr's Hall. Visitors welcoaae. yhw. A. Fry, W, M. A. w, Javi Sr etary.