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About St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 11, 1908)
9 " i THE POOR WHIFFLETIT. And the Low Down Trick by Which It li Subdued. BeatlnR himself nt n rcstnurnnt ta ble, a Clilcngo tnan wild: "Walter, what kind of Dsli have your "Oh," snld the wnitcr, "nil klnds whltensli, bluoflsh, graylings, sen bnns, weakllsb, perch" Tslmwl" ynwncd the customer. "Gut that out I'm tired of thoso common fishes. Ain't you got bouio new kind of fish somo kind I never nto before?" "Well," snld the waiter, "tho whlf flotlts Is very One this morning." "What in thunder is n whllllctlt?" "Why, doesn't n nsh nlinrp like you know what n whlfllcttt is? Common enough hero. You see, tho whllllctlt lives only in circular lakes. You ko out and find n circular lnl;o nnd hire n boat. Then you row out nil alone to tho middle of the Inke, about a mile or no, nnd nnchor. Then you tnko nn nugur nnd bore n holo In tho water nnd ball It by putting n piece of cheese on tho edge of tho hole. The whllllc tlt comes up to get tho cheese, entx It, nnd it makes him swell up so that ho can't bnck down the holo." "Well," Rnld tho customer, breath less, "what then?" "Why," replied tho waiter ns ho filled n glass of water, "you lean over tho nldo of the boat nnd lunch tho whllllctlt to death. Want u fev7" Clovelnnd Lender. A LUCKY ESCAPE. Thrilling Experience of a Cycllit on a Swiss Mountain. A Dr. Itnch wiih cycling down the pass near (loxrhonen, In Switzerland, when his brnkn mmpped nnd tho ma chine darted forward at torrllle Hpeed. At tho foot of tho mountain is n bridge npniitiliig u deep river gorge. Tho phy hIcIuii tried lo guide III Hying machine on tho bridge, but tho front wheel Btruck n Hide wall, and ho was Hung over I ho parapet. While falling through the nlr he caught n chain hanging from n girder. Tho momentum of lili Imdy, tuiddenly nrreated, nearly wrenched his grip loose, but he was n strung man nnd kept Ids hold. WIiIIj Hwluglng in midair Mifpcnditl over the raging river nnd tumble to Improve his perilous position nn automobile ciinio chugging down Hie pass. Tho hapless man Hbntitod for help, but he could not be seen from I he bridge, nnd his cries were drowned by the noise of the mo tor nnd the Mound of the river. A few minutes nfler the automobile had pass cd ii carriage drove neroi tho bridge. Again he cried out for help, but In rain. Tho awful Hi ruin on iirms and lingers was becoming Intolerable, nnd tho doctor was about to drop Into the torrent lo nu Inevitable death when two peasants eaine by nnd naw him. They Hung n noose over him nnd pulled him iiii. lie fainted and was III for n long time. Htrnnd Mngnxlne. Couldn't Remember HI Star. Ah Illustrative of tho Ills of nbsiriic Hon to which some men lire Mihjcct In nu extraordinary degree, Hlr Henry Irving wna fond of relating it Hlory of Ids former manager, Charles Dillon. Homo years nfler "Tho Hells" had mado Irving famous ho chanced to meet Dillon mid wns outspoken In tits delight. Dillon looked him over, Dually re marking that ho had no recollection of htm. Irving reminded him of tho tour they hud mado together nnd mention ed his name. Dillon thought for awhile, noil, recognition tipHarlng to dawn upon III ho extended bis hand. "Irving? Oh, yes. I remember the name," he declared reinlnlseently. "And what tiro you doing now, lr-vlngV'-Chlcago Itocord-llcnild. A Poet'e Orcakfast. Oeorgo Meredith nnd UohhcIII were to take up house together, but It in curred to the former to go nnd wo what tho Iioiimi was like tint, lie ar rived at noon. ItiMscttl was not up. Hut on tho table was his breakfast nix cggH on as many hi lees of luteou Tho repast had Ix'cu walling some time. The eggs were draining out their llfchlood on the coagulating bacon, ItoKM'ttl riimo In In n dressing gown, otherwise Just iih ho had got out of Intl. Ho nut down and "devoured the plat llko nn ogre." Meredith tciit him a check for the ipiarter's rent next day. but ho mid tho poet never kept bouse together, An Incident of Travrl. In Nuremberg, having invasion to ask my way, I said In my liest Mels tersehnft to u gentleman passing. "Koennen sle mlr vlelleleht sageii wle man unch das Deiitscheu museum geht?" Imagine my mortification when he replied; "1 urn going that way, I will hIiow you." Wo walked on, and, learning that I wan an American ami hud traveled In Kngland, ho said: "I urn professor of Ihigllsh here. That Is why I speak KnglUh so well. Hut I didn't been In Kngland already onco yet." I.lpplncott'H, Unlucky For Hli 8lde. "So you cling to that childish super stltloii about thlrteeu being unlucky," aid tho traveler. "Yes," answered the other. "Can't get away from It." "Hut see how completely It Is dis proved. This glorious country started with thirteen colonies." "Very true. Hut I am nn Kugllsh man." Washington Star. Innocent. Mrs. Knleker- How did you know your husbaud was working down In tho otllce? Mrs. Youngbrldo I tele phoned, mid ccutrul ald, "Husy," New York Bun. Our Charges. As is customary, we will charge for curd of tlmuks, 50c; for resolu tions of resjwet, $1.00; for notices of church or lodge entertainments, suppers, sociables, etc., where there are charges for nd mission, 5c per line, but where there are no charges for these events, we will break the rule nnd insert them free. We make this announcement so that our good friends may understand our rule hi tills respect. Premiums for Wc wish to double our splendid line of premiums which we will give to our subscribers and to club getters. To every cash subscriber for one year at $1.50 wc will give a pair of 8-inch tension shears, full nicklc plated with five year guarantee by the manufacturer. It is a great satisfaction to have a pair of shears that do not get loose. These scissors are worth $1.25 anywhere. For $1.75 you gct.tltc Premiums for Club Getters To those who wish to get up clubs we will make the following of fers: Ifor a club of five n Waterman Ideal Kouiitniii Pen valued nt $2. Var a club of .six a Silver Sugar Shelliiud Mutter Knife, vulue $1.25. For a club of eight two piece Carving Set, value -f 1.60, or a Fancy Atat 111 Clock, value -f 1.75. For club of ten a hundsoine .scale for kitchen use, value 52.00. For club of twelve, Gold Jewel Case, two styles, value $2.50. For club of twelve, a Gilt Clock, subscription list within the slot view showino TCNSICH SfRINO value 53.03. livery tea sjioons. kind of Here Subscriptions next thirty days. In order paper ana unit a dozen stiver ten . g- . m Hamilton silver co. m 'f"22JW feV Factory B Muncie.Ind. JH For club of twenty, nn 8-dny Mission Clock, half hour strike, value if 6.00. For club of twenty, nnd Klectric Mission Lamp, value $G.oo. For club of fifty, a handsome set of 36 pieces of Rogers' Silver Table Cut lery with case, value $ 12.00. subscriber receives the pair of scissors, or by paying f 1.75 the set of If club raisers prefer the cash to an arrangement with them by calling is a good opportunity to secure some and look them over and get started. Any of them make fine Christmas gifts. Old subscribers may secure a pair of shears by paying up arrearages and fifty cents additional. Get n pair. The housewife would certainly appreciate them. to do this wc lmve purchased a spoons wim a giuirumw:. 11 the premiums we will make that nt this office. of these fine premium. Call in .3 SEEDS aimraaa-c ICCM SUCCEED I SPECIAL OFFER: Mla U Delia Hew .. AtrlalWilT ' titm ii iinaii 11 lb floe 1 Tm f pfcMld l O.W., MM Tf f Write to-day t Mention thtt Piper. mm mm mam. ejA. MSPLUVaV L MIX all vy IM Bn wtuM M m ,11. 11 fthrMl DM iut vulnlM H fMAt. PlaflW. H. , NOTICE TO CREDITORS. I.niilmi Kencnn lCstnto. Notlco Is hereby given that, tho iiiw1nmtiiiPit linn lieen nUllollltod the ndmlnl8trntor of tho estate of Louise Koognn, dcccnscd, by tho County t.'nnrl nf tho Stnto Of Oregon for Mottnomnb Count v nnd lino uunlltlcd ns bucIi. All persons having claims nan list sn d cstnto nro uerooy noti fled to prosont tho sumo to 1110 nt Al Oswego Btrcet, 81. Johns, Oregon, with proper vouchers duly verified within six months from tho (Into liitrnnP. Doted nnd first lubllshod Friday, November 20, Jw08. Itlchnrd II. Koognn. Wm. A. Munly, Administrator. Attorney. Gc, Now is the time to visit When .summer hns passed in these north ern state.M, the sun is only mild under the blight blue skies of Southern Culifomia. This is one of na ture's happy provis' ions eternal summer for those who cannot , endure u more severe climate. California hns been called the "Mecca of the winter tourist." Us hotels nnd Mop ping places are ns va ried us those of all well regulated cities. Visitors can always find suitable accom modations, congenial companions, nnd va ried, pleasing recrea tions. SOUTHERN PACIFIC CO, . Will lie glnd to supply wiinc 1 very attnictUc literature, do ncrililng In detail the many do Unlit of whiter In California. Very low round trip excursion tlcUeUnreou mIc to California. The rule from Portland to I.o Angeles nnd return in &5.n, . Limit six month, iillowlug i stoivovir In cither direction. Mtnliar excurkiou r.ncs lire in I t-fTcct to all California points. l'or full Information, stcvpiue car rccrviitions and tickets, call on, telegraph or write C. W. SpriiiKcr, C. T. A., id nnd Wash iugtou streets, l'ortlmid, or Win. .Mf.Murray. Gen. Pass. ArI. I'ortluud, Oregon THE REV. IRL R. HICKS Almanao and Magazine Should bo In every homo in tho land. Ills weather predle tlonscanbohad only la hUown publications. Ko other publisher is permitted to print Uictn In any form, cither with or without crodlt Ills 1000 Almanna ex cols nil former editions In boauty and value, nnd soils for 35 cents, postpaid His monthly ina'axlno, Word AND Works, contains hU weather foro easts for each month, together with a vast amount of tho best family reading anil costs SI. a year, ono almanao with each subscription. Every earthquake and serious storm for 20 years has been predictod by IVof. Hicks. You cannot afford to bo without theso pub lications. Address all orders to THE ST. JOHNS IlEVIKW. Pointers for our Patrons. The difference between poor stock and first class stock on a job is a small item when you consider the value of the job. It. is the price of a satisfied customer. It is better to make 50 cents less on a job and have a customer who will come back, thau to use the flimsy stock, make the extra 50 cents and lose your customer. That is the way we figure it. Photographs For Christmas It will pay you to get our prices. Groups and children's photos a spe cialty. Outdoor views, copying mid enlarging. McDERMID & BELL Holbrook Block. GALFORNA COLLIER & COLLIER Lawyers. Rooms In the Holbrook building. St. Johns, Oregon. Joseph AkChcsncy, M. D. PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Day and Nlzht Office in McChosncy Block none wooauwn 43 ST. JOHNS, - - OREQON Dr. MARY MacLACHLAN Physician and Surgeon. Office in Holbrook's Illock. Residence, 215 Hitycs street. Phone Scott 6995. OSCAR DeVAUL, M. D Office hours, 11 to 11 a. m., t to 3 p. in. Office l'lioue, Wooitlnwti 1141. Krnldencc Wione, Union J901, Office In Portsmouth llrlck. J. R. WEIA1ER Transfer and Storage Wc deliver your poods to nnd from nil parts of Portland, Vancouver, I.liinton, Portland nnd Suburban Hxprcss Co., city dock nnd all ixilnts accessible by wagon. Plnno and furniture moving n socially. 109 I!. lliirlluKton; phone Richmond 61. A. B. HEMSTOCK Funeral Director and Gmbslmcr I.ndy Asslstnnt. llrnnch office nt University l'nrk Drug Store, phone Woodbuvn 1874, Main office, Portland, Oregon; photic Sellwood 71, DANIEL O. WEBSTER, A H.,A1. D. Rcddcucc, 697 IMwso'it Street Olfiee, l'llter block t'nlverlly Park, Portland, Oregon LAUREL LODQE No. 186 I. O. O. F. sr. joiins. oki'.oon Meets each Monday evening in Odd I'ellowii hall, lit 8:00. Visitor welcomed. C. P. Ontc, N. O. H. II. Holcomb, Secretary. Holmes Loilgc No. 101 KNIIIIHS OP PVIIIIAS. Meet everv i'ridav nli'llt rrtnt jiyt o'clock nt I.O.O.I'. iC 111111. viuor niways wci .mi... i. ir. ntiii-ij. r. It. II. Holcomb, K. U.S. Doric Lodge No. 132 i:. and A. At. Regular cominuiilcn. tlonson lint nnd third Wednesilayii of each month in Odd Pillows' In II, Vitltor welcome. S. Chas. Divis, Joseph McChcsncy, Six'rctnry. W. M. CAAIP 773 W. O. V. Meits every second nnd fourth Wednes day evening in lllckuer't Hall. Visiting member always welcome. f. II. Anson, C. C. W. It. Swelled, Clerk. Central Market! Holbrook Illock. Sec us for the Choicest Cut of the llcst Meat Obtainable. Order I'lllcd and I'amlly Trade Solicited T. P. WARD, Proprietor. 60 YEARS' EXPERIENCE TRADE MARKS rlrinMl Anron lending a skslcb anj dtterlntlon mtf autcklf urarlaln our oelnlou fr w better wi lurendon It probably rifnihla Cuirmanle. lloneetrlcllTtoiiddeutlul. HANUCOO. onPslwU nt f re, OldHI azeucr tut eecuriiiiMvtfanta. I'atenta taken ibmuuli lluun A Co. rtcelr tpuUl nUitt, without cbarne, lu ttia SckNtHic Jf ttttrkati A handiomelf llluetratad waaklr. laraaat ff. relation ot uxi adantlSo Journal, Tertua. M a Teariiourcwatba.il. BoM byili nawaUaalary. NOTICE TO ADVERTISER. In order to Insure a change of ad vertisement the copy for such change should reach this office not later than Wednesday, at 3 o'clock p. m. Please emember this and save the printer Mail Schedule Mall arrives at St. lohns at 7:10 a. 111. and 1:15 p. in. Leaves at 10:20 a. in., ana 4:45 p. n. Office open week days from 6:45 a- to 6:10 p.m. Sundays from 9 to 10 a. n St. Johns Ferry Time Card. Leave Hast Side (A. M.) 6io, 7:10, 7:50, 8:30, 9:10,9:50 10:30,11:10, 11:50. I'. M 13:30, 1:10, 1:50, 3:30, 3:10, 3:50, 4:30, 5:106:00. Leave west sine v, m.joiso, 7:30, 8:10, 8:50, 9:30, 10:10, 11:50. iP. SI. ia:io, 13:50, 1:30, 3:io, 3:50, 3:30, 4:10, 4:50, 5:30, 6;jo. -