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About Keizertimes. (Salem, Or.) 1979-current | View Entire Issue (July 3, 2020)
PAGE A2, KEIZERTIMES, JULY 3, 2020 WINDOWS, CABINETS, APPL I ANCES, LUMBER, PLYWOOD, YES WE DELIVER! DOORS, FENCING, SIDING, FLOORING, INSULATION, & MUCH, MUCH MORE! B M B C BUILDING MATERIALS BARGAIN CENTER, INC. 775 FRONT STREET NE - SALEM - CALL US AT 503-363-9070 Let Disney+’s Artemis Fowl fl y on by KT on vacation Submitted photo Joanne Zaitz read a recent copy of the Keizertimes in beautiful Enterprise, Ore. You too can have your photo in the Keizertimes. Simply take the paper to your destination, snap a picture with you and your group holding it, and send the photo along with everyone’s fi rst and last names to kt@keizertimes.com. Submitted Lara McDonnell, Josh Gad and Ferdia Shaw stand dumbfounded in Disney+’s Artemis Fowl. Our reviewer says audiences may end up with similar looks after viewing. By TJ Reid For the Keizertimes In 2001, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone launched a pro- longed trend of movie studios adapting novels written for kids and the young adult crowd into major motion pictures. For a time it seemed as if every suc- cessful book was destined to get its own adaptation, for bet- ter (Harry Potter, The Chron- icles of Narnia) or for worse (Eragon, Percy Jackson). It was, there- fore, always a bit baffl ing to me that Artemis Fowl, my second favorite childhood series after Harry Potter, never received such attention when it was at the height of its popularity. I remember dream casting a hypothetical Artemis Fowl fi lm with one of my bud- dies in middle school, and now, almost two decades later, one has fi nally been set loose on the world. Going into this movie, I tried to have an open mind. The trailers made it look ter- rible and highly unfaithful to the source material, and the fact that it was originally meant for theatrical release only to be turned into a Disney+ exclu- sive at the last second did not exactly fi ll me to the brim with confi dence. Sadly, I now fi nd that these initial wary thoughts were blissfully naïve and under- stated, as Artemis Fowl is a cine- matic mess that is sure to please absolutely no one. As an adaptation, Artemis Fowl is a train wreck. Awkward- ly shoving the fi rst book and about one third of the second book into the same hour-and- a-half while tying them togeth- er with a brand new and poorly explained MacGuffi n, the mov- ie makes so many changes in plot, character and tone that it is almost unrecognizable to fans of the original series. Artemis, a criminal mastermind who is also the primary villain of the book, is here turned into a Disney-esque Spy Kid good guy who everyone insists is a genius despite his never doing anything particularly ingenious. Commander Root is now a woman (and played by a very uninterested Judi Dench), Juliet is now twelve, Holly is now white, all the characters are now two-dimensional, up is now down, right is now left, and why this movie is called Artemis Fowl, I have no idea. All of this would be some- what acceptable if it was a good fi lm on its own, but it is not. Flying from plot point to plot point (sometimes literally), Ar- review temis Fowl takes absolutely no time to make the audience un- derstand or care what is going on. There is something about a long-lost weapon with the ca- pability to wipe out all life or something, a plan to capture a fairy because of reasons, and a sudden alliance between the two at-odds protagonists be- cause the (multiple) script writ- ers said so. Artemis Fowl never gave me a reason to invest in its mess of a story, and by the cliff- hanger at the end, all I could muster was a massive, bemused shake of the head. The only good things I can say about this movie is that Josh Gad (who plays the dwarven thief Mulch Diggums) vaguely amused me a couple of times and that I didn’t have to pay for it because I al- ready subscribe to Disney+. It fails for pre-existing fans, it fails for newcomers… just give Artemis Fowl a pass and go watch Harry Potter again. Artemis Fowl is now available on Disney+. No fi reworks on the river this July 4th The Fourth of July fi re- works presentation at River- front Park has been canceled this year by the City of Salem. Phase 2 guidance contin- ues to require limits to out- door gatherings to minimize the potential spread of CO- VID-19. COVID-19 spread ticks up another 20% in 97303 COVID-19 cases spiked another 20 percent in the 97303 zip code that includes all of Keizer and smaller por- tions of Salem. According to statistics re- leased by the Oregon Health Authority on June 24, the number of positive CO- VID-19 tests linked to the 97303 zip code rose to 143 from 110 the week prior. It’s the second straight week of 20 percent increases in the area. To combat surging coro- navirus numbers, Gov. Kate Brown mandated face cover- ing throughout the state in all indoor public spaces. The mandate began Wednesday, July 1. While Keizer does not have an identifi ed outbreak of coronavirus linked to a single source, numerous large em- ployers in neighboring areas with employees who live in Keizer could be affecting the area. WE TAKE PRIDE in being staff ed better than any other senior living community City offi cials remind resi- dents using parks this week- end to maintain adequate social distance, refrain from smoking and keep pets on leashes. All City parks close at dark and the use of fi reworks is prohibited anywhere on park grounds. Come See the Finest in Senior Living CALL (503) 390 -1300 1165 McGee Ct NE • Keizer, OR • VillageAtKeizerRidge.com
