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About Vernonia freedom. (Vernonia, Oregon) 1978-198? | View Entire Issue (Nov. 5, 1981)
Thursday November 5,1981 Vernonia Freedom—Page 3 My Neck Of The Woods Deer hunting open in Willamette Valley thru Nov. by Dennis Dobson If you’re like me, and so many others, and didn’t manage to find a legal deer during the regular season, take heart, for all is not yet lost. For those of you who may not know it, deer hunting isn’t quite over yet. You may have to travel a bit but you can still take part in the Willamette Valley agricultural hunt. This hint, limited to the Willamette Unit (check you game regs for boundary lines and a description) will continue through November 30. Designed to help control deer populations in the heavily agricultural Willamette Valley, where they often wreak terrible damage to crops, the Fish and Game Department allows you to use any unfilled tag to take one deer of either sex. I’m planning a hunt in the PRO FOOTBALL QUIZ Here’s a little something for all you armchair quarterbacks; a Football Quiz you can puzzle out in the comfort of your own living room. Provided by Chuck Hendryx at Vernonia Market Place, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it as much as we have. We’ve provided space below each question for you to write in your answers. Be sure and save them because next week we’ll provide a list for you to check them against. Now, on your mark; get set; GO... There are 28 professional football teams. 27 are listed. Who’s Missing? 1. ARMY/ANTS__________ __ 2. SEVEN SQUARED 3. STREAKERS ARE THIS_______ 4. A 747_______________________ 5. HOSTILE ATTACKERS,_____ _ 6. VARIOUS IRON WORKERS___ Willamette Unit in the middle of November, while my wife is in California visiting relatives. I’ll let you Imow how it goes, but just in case my luck holds true to form I’d appreciate it if you’d keep your fingers crossed for me. ’For those of you who have simply given up in disgust, or just can’t get away for the Ag hunt, here’s a little something I hope you’ll get a kick out of. It’s called “A Day In The Life Of A Deer Hunter” and was brought to my attention by O.J. Ziegler. OJ, of course, got his deer on opening weekend. Oh well, maybe next year. 1:00 AM 2:00 AM 2:30 AM 3:00 AM 3:15 AM 3:30 AM 4:00 AM *4:30 AM 6:05 AM 6:06 AM 6:07 AM 6:08 AM 8:00 AM 9:00 AM 10:00 AM NOON 12:15 PM 12:20 PM 12:30 PM 12:45 PM 12:55 PM 3:00 PM 3:30 PM 4:00 PM 4:01 PM 5:00 PM 6:00 PM 6:01 PM 6:02 PM 6:03 PM 6:05 PM 6:06 PM 6:07 PM 6:10 PM 6:15 PM 6:25 PM 6:25 PM 6:30 PM 8. I.O.U.’s_____________ - 9. HELPERS TO RELOCATE 6:35 PM 6:36 PM 6:37 PM 10. TOY BABY WITHOUT ARMS_ 6:38 PM 6:39 PM 11. BIRDS TRAINED TO KILL 9:00 PM Midnight Sunday 12. LUBRICATORS Alarm clock rings. Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed. Throw everything thing except the fdtchen sink into pickup. Leave for the deep woods. Drive back home to pick up gun. Drive like hell to get to the woods before daylight. Set up camp. Forgot the damn tent. Head for the woods. See eight deer. Take aim and squeeze trigger. CLICK. Load gun while watching deer go over the hill. Head back for camp. Still looking for camp. Realize that you don't know where camp & Fire gun for help - eat wild berries. Run out of bullets ■ eight deer come back. Strange feeling in stomach. Realize you ate poison berries. Rescued. Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped. Arrive back at camp. Leave camp to kill deer. Return to camp for bullets. Load gun - leave camp again. Empty gun on squirrel that is bugging you. Arrive at camp - see deer grazing in camp. Load gun. Fire gun. One dead pickup. Hunting partner arrives in camp dragging deer. Repress desire to shoot hunting partner. Fall into fire. Change clothes, throw burned ones in fire. Take pickup, leave hunting partner and his deer in camp. Pickup boils over, hole shot in block. Start walking. Stumble and fall, drop gun in the mud. Meet Bear. Take aim. Tire gun, blow up barrel plugged with mud. Mess pants. Climb tree. Bear leaves. Wrap *!!'?*"&* gun around tree. Home at last. Watch football game on TV, slowly tearing up hunting license into small pieces, place in envelope, and mail it to the Game Department with detailed instructions on where to place it. 13. SIX RULERS What the others are saying 17. FUNDAMENTAL RULE_____ 18. CREDIT CARD USERS • Better engine protection. 23. OCEAN GOING BIRD 24. HOT EPIDERMIS 2? LOUIE ARMSTRONG’S FAVORITE SONG____________ _ 26. RODEO HORSE 27. SIX SHOOTERS MISSING TEAM? 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