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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (March 22, 2012)
Evening appointments - Gift Certifi cates Student/Senior Discounts - Auto accident Robert Reid Scott Hall 541-744-6655 Leslie Shawver, LMT #3492 541-870-7245 Life Works School of Hypnosis www.sportsmassageplus.net Sports, Deep Tissue, Myofascial for injury 1 block from treatment, stress relief, Matthew Knight and chronic pain Arena New Hypnotherapy Certifi cation 1907 Garden Ave., Suite 205, Eugene ODIES, T-SHIRTS, MUGS, fes•ter\fes-ter\[PacNW](1987)n 1 a: one who attends festivals b: one who enjoys live music in large groups c: one who is convivial with others in a festival setting 2: FESTIVALGOER(1959) 3 • Browse local postings Respond to a Wink ad. Visit wink-kink.com and enter the ad ID • Post your own profi le Questions? info@wink-kink.com Jayme or Jennifer 541-484-0519 • Connect with local singles Class Begins April 7 Early Registration Discounts Available Life Works Counseling Center Individual & Couples Counseling Hypnosis: Change Habits for New Life! v m DB Lifeworks-or.com new ad in ew' s personals ERS STICK Eugene Weekly’s Local Dating Site Make a Professional Shift Now! place a HAT S , HO WINK you could win movie passes to the bijou art cinemas SIMPLE,EASYGOING I am an easy going type of lady,cute and lovely.I you are interested to know me i will be very glad to welcome you to my world. mislonly, 24, g DIMENSIONAL SHIFT READY Coast to Coast AM long time lis- tener. Ready for the dimensional shift. i love plants, animals, trees, water, nature, humans, extrater- restrials, beer. watch only a little tv. conscious omnivore. Namaste. q123robin, 56, g YOUNG OLD SOUL Oddities, oddities, oddities. Such things we thrive on. What doesn’t kill you simply makes you strang- er. Come see the world through square eyes. siberiancultist, 23, g FUN AND QUIRKY Love to laugh. Bit of a tech geek, but very much enjoy being social. looking for someone share many fun times and con- versations. living consciously, and cuteness are a plus. deh- geek, 25, g WINK-KINK.COM WWW.FESTERBRAND.COM 541-484-0519 I’m looking for a pretty, respect- ful, warm-hearted girl looking to find a meaningful relationship. I’m done with games. Done with lies. Done with drama. Be real or dont bother. thestorm, 19 THE GOOD LIFE seeking strong, passionate com- panion. herbsfriendly, 54, g MILES AT MCDONALD Drive-by Truckers playing McDonald Theater. I was working and your second concert ever. We danced and you donated to our cause. You didn’t ask for my num- ber. Coffee or tea? When: Sunday, March 18, 2012. Where: McDonald Theater. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902415 MR OPPOSITE,MARTIAN greetings earth girls! i am cur- rently visiting this sector to associate with your human female culture. my species needs information specifically relating to your social mores,habits of procreation and recreation. drewski, 44, g CHESHIRE STARQUEEN 12TH & ALDER Sweet Katie of Cutie, It was ridicu- lous fun connecting* A walk by the river soon? spaceman lost your # & hopes that u see this =) Hugz & Snuggles Sparklemuffin When: Friday, March 16, 2012. Where: Cowfish. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902412 You were crossing 12th towards 11th and I yelled at you. You turned around but I was already gone.. you(brunette,white shirt,regular pants and boots) You were beauti- ful! When: Tuesday, March 13, 2012. Where: Campus 12th and Alder. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902407 LOWELL OVER-LOOK Rough patches in the lake... Skonky licks at the shore to calm the waves When: Wednesday, March 14, 2012. Where: my room. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #902411 URBANSPACEMAN:: YOU’RE THE ONLY FAILURE TO OCCUPY IN MY HOME,REVOLTING YOU WERE/ARE A FAILURE, I DON’T GROW STONES, I THROW THEM, BUT YOU’RE SO FUCKING DENSE ; YOU ARE SPACED, MAN When: Sunday, January 1, 2012. Where: OCCUPYING $PACE IN MY HOME. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902414 You:Got food to go.Camo jacket w/ beanie.Told me to have a good day after catching me looking @ you Me: Brunette,green hoodie,jeans & black boots. Too shy to say Hello. When: Tuesday, March 13, 2012. Where: Toshi’s Ramen. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902410 YOU ARE HANDSOME Loving Lovable LOVED. Hopu dont choose to numbly punish yourself forever in pain. You’ve such a beautiful being to share with yourself/ the world. Thank You for sexual healing journey. When: Sunday, December 18, 2011. Where: In My Heart/Soul.. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902409 UO AMPHITHEATRE SINGER I watched you sing from 2:30-4pm. You were with two guys and play- ing the guitar in a white long- sleaved shirt. Would love to get to know you! When: Thursday, March 8, 2012. Where: UO Amphitheatre. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902406 GIRL AT DENTISTS Cute girl with glasses and the loose tooth, I wanted to say you looked beautiful today, and i wish got a chance to talk to you a bit more ;) When: Thursday, March 8, 2012. Where: Dentists office of Willamette St.. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902405 MISS CHAIRMAN MEOW? Hey brown eyed girl. Wish we could have stayed friends. But I know my cray cray is rather unique. Coffee? Just making sure your alive. Fruit flys in my head. When: Thursday, March 8, 2012. Where: Nowhere for a while. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902404 FRAGILE REVOLUTIONARY “as soon as it’s warm out, the revolution is back on” is why your revolution is a failure. Grow some stones if you want to occupy anything. When: Thursday, March 8, 2012. Where: at home safe and warm. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902403 BY ROB BREZSNY impact. Here’s one tip that would be especially useful for you in the coming days: Exaggerate precisely. Heinrichs gives an example from the work of the illustrious raconteur, American author Mark Twain. Twain did not write, “In a single day, New England’s weather changes a billion times.” Rather, he said, “In the spring I have counted 136 dif- ferent kinds of weather inside of four-and twenty hours.” Be inspired by Twain’s approach in every way you can imagine, Leo. Make things bigger and wilder and more expansive everywhere you go, but do it with exactitude and rigor. with you as you embark on your catalytic adventures. They’ll help you cultivate the right mood. McClure: “Everything is natural. The light on your fi ngertips is starlight. Life begins with coiling — molecules and nebulae. Cruelty, selfi shness, and vanity are boring. Each self is many selves. Reason is beauty. Light and darkness are arbitrary divisions. Cleanliness is as undefi nable and as natural as fi lth. The physiological body is pure spirit. Monotony is madness. The frontier is both outside and inside. The universe is the messiah. The senses are gods and god- desses. Where the body is — there are all things.” my usual pep talks. I think it’s for the best. If I deliver a kind-hearted kick in the butt, maybe it will encourage you to make a few course corrections, thereby making it unnecessary for fate to get all tricky and funky on you. So here you go, Taurus: 1. The last thing you need is someone to support your fl aws and encourage you in your delusions. True friends will offer snappy critiques and crisp advice. 2. Figure out once and for all why you keep doing a certain deed that’s beneath you, then gather the strength and get the help you need to quit it. 3. It’s your duty to stop doing your duty with such a somber demeanor and heavy tread. To keep from sabotaging the good it can accomplish, you’ve got to put more pleasure into it. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “Liminality” is a term that refers to the CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You know those tall, starched betwixt and between state. It’s dawn or dusk, when neither night nor day fully rules. It’s the mood that prevails when a transition is immi- nent or a threshold beckons. During a rite of passage, liminality is the phase when the initiate has left his or her old way of doing things but has not yet been fully accepted or integrated into the new way. Mysti- cal traditions from all over the world recognize this as a shaky but potent situation — a time and place when uncertainty and ambiguity reign even as exciting possibilities loom. In my estimate, Virgo, you’re now ensconced in liminality. white hats that many chefs wear? Traditionally they had 100 pleats, which denoted the number of ways a real professional could cook an egg. I urge you to wear one of those hats in the coming weeks, Capri- corn — or whatever the equivalent symbol might be for your specialty. It’s high time for you to express your ingenuity in dealing with what’s simple and familiar ... to be inventive and versatile as you show how much you can accomplish using just the basics. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The German word Weltratsel can be (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The Argentinian writer Antonio Porchia said there were two kinds of shadows: “some hide, others reveal.” In recent weeks, you’ve been in constant contact with the shadows that hide. But beginning any moment now, you’ll be wandering away from those rather frustrating enigmas and entering into a dynamic relation- ship with more evocative mysteries: the shadows that reveal. Be alert for the shift so you won’t get caught assuming that the new shadows are just like the old ones. ARIES (March 21-April 19): Not bad for a few weeks’ work, or play, or whatever it is you want to call this tormented, inspired outburst. Would it be too forward of me to suggest that you’ve gone a long way toward outgrowing the dark fairy tale that had been haunting your dreams for so long? And yet all this may just be a warm-up for your next metamorphosis, in which you make an audacious new commit- ment to becoming what you really want to be when you grow up. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): This week I’m taking a break from translated as “World Riddle.” Coined by the philosopher Friedrich Ni- etzsche, it refers to questions like “What is the meaning of existence?” and “What is the nature of reality?” According to my reading of the astrological omens, Gemini, you’re now primed to deepen your under- standing of the World Riddle. For the next few weeks, you will have an enhanced ability to pry loose useful secrets about some big mysteries. Certain passages in the Book of Life that have always seemed like gobbledygook to you will suddenly make sense. Here’s a bonus: Every time you decipher more of the World Riddle, you will solve another small piece of your Personal Riddle. CANCER (June 21-July 22): “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” So wrote George Bernard Shaw in his book Man and Superman. From the hints I have gleaned, Cancerian, you are now in an ideal phase to be the sort of unreasonable man or woman who gets life to adapt so as to better serve you and your dreams. Even if it’s true that the emphasis in the past has often been on you bending and shaping yourself to adjust to the circumstances others have wrought, the com- ing weeks could be different. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In his book Word Hero, Jay Heinrichs offers us advice about how to deliver pithy messages that really make an 30 ALLANN BROS 5TH You: always with a friend, some- times in uniform, sometimes not. Down near door. Me: working on my Mac,upstairs in the corner. Share some caffeine? When: Monday, February 13, 2012. Where: Allann Bros. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902408 TUESDAY @ TOSHI’S BROKEN, BEAT&SCARRED Free Will Astrology PTARYNDACTYL I’m sorry I’m not a hot hottie post- ing an I saw you, but at least it’s better than your crazy ex? Miss you, friend. Xoxo, TriSarahtops When: Sunday, March 18, 2012. Where: Not in Portland, sadly.. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #902413 MARCH 22, 2012 EUGENE WEEKLY LIBRA SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Every winter, hordes of ants have overrun my house. At least that was true up until recently. This winter, the pests stayed away, and that has been very good news. I didn’t have to fi ght them off with poison and hand-to-hand combat. The bad news? The reason they didn’t invade was because very little rain fell, as it’s supposed to during Northern California winters. The ants weren’t driven above ground by the torrents that usually soak the soil. And so now drought threatens our part of the world. Water shortages may loom. I propose that this scenario is a metaphor for a dilemma you may soon face, Scorpio — except that you will have a choice in the matter: Would you rather deal with a lack of a fundamental resource or else an infl uence that’s bothersome but ultimately pretty harmless? SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You’re entering one of the most buoyant phases of your astrological cycle. Your mandate is to be brash and bouncy, frothy and irrepressible. To prepare you, I’ve rounded up some exclamatory declarations by poet Michael McClure. Take them AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): As I was driving my car in San Francisco late one night, I arrived at a traffi c signal that confused me. The green light was radiant and steady, but then so was the red light. I came to a complete stop and waited until fi nally, after about two min- utes, the red faded. I suspect you may soon be facing a similar jumble of mixed signals, Aquarius. If that happens, I suggest you do what I did. Don’t keep moving forward; pause and sit still until the message gets crisp and clear. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A woman named Joan Ginther has won the Texas Lottery four times, collecting over $20 million. Is she freakishly lucky? Maybe not, according to Nathaniel Rich’s article in the August 2011 issue of Harper’s. He notes that Ginther has a Ph.D. in math from Stanford, and wonders if she has used her substantial understanding of statistics to game the system. (More here: tinyurl. com/LuckAmuck.) Be inspired by her example, Pisces. You now have exceptional power to increase your good fortune through hard work and practical ingenuity. HOMEWORK: Leave a comment on my Facebook page here: http://bit.ly/BrezFB. Here’s my Twitter: http://twitter.com/FreeWillAstro Go to RealAstrology.com to check out EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700. WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM • BLOGS.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM
