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WINK Sanctuary Massage 541-343-0109 Eugene Weekly’s Local Dating Site • Browse local postings Respond to a Wink ad. Visit wink-kink.com and enter the ad ID • Post your own profi le Ads with a ☎ have Voice Mail Messages call 1-520-547-3013 (Charges may apply) • Connect with local singles Structural Assessment & Integration, Loami Loami Hot Stone, Swedish Relaxation and Deep Tissue, Myofascial Release, Energy Healing. Parent Packages & First Time Client Discounts Available Auto and Medical Insurance Accepted TAMMY WISE LMT# 11561 JUSTUS GROSE WISE LMT# 16860 541-345-1853 Mon-Sat 10am-8pm Sun 12pm-6pm Supporting Local Art for the Past Four Decades HUNKY DORY PIPE & TOBACCO URBAN-RURAL GREEN MAN ARCADE BEAUTY I was tasked with finding the love of my life; my turnon: deep connection with my lover, friends& family. Most important: growing, music, food, nature, building, exploring. Looking for allies/collaborators. theotter- guy, 60,g 2 am, walked behind you without enough nerve. Newcomers hug- ging in the middle of Blair. Be there next Saturday or anywhere we could share another hug “Hello!” before then? When: Sunday, February 19, 2012. Where: Blair Alley. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #902390 LIBRA BALANCING ACT Quality girl seeking an intelli- gent, fun-loving, and sensual gentleman who can balance me. Please be honest and drama- free. LaBoheme, 35,g DOWN TO EARTH Im a hard working man that likes to have fun and be eventurest shy to a point but never scared to do most things fun exciting free birdd freinds. shyflirt, 37 DIMENSIONAL SHIFT READY Coast to Coast AM long time lis- tener. Ready for the dimensional shift. i love plants, animals, trees, water, nature, humans, extraterrestrials, beer. watch only a little tv. conscious omni- vore. Namaste. q123robin, 56,g DEAR GOLDENBROWN MAKE IT INTERESTING Intelligent, good conversational- ist, and never boring. Friends tell me I’m attractive and I don’t like being bored or boring. Looking for a friend first then who knows. Must like dogs. nicklynewly, 53,g OPENING THE DOOR Aries and Chinese Dragon; gen- tle, honest, practical, 20 + years sober, with kind morals, dry humor and joy. Relaxed, some- times colorful, evolving, strong sense connections, love of out- doors seeks same. 3Josey90, 59, ☎,g UNTIED DOG BITES! Your dog wasn’t leashed. I got bit, luckily it wasn’t the little kids who were 20 seconds behind me. Assholes like you don’t deserve to have an animal. When: Sunday, February 26, 2012. Where: Sundance, 9 PM. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902395 FUN AND QUIRKY Love to laugh. Bit of a tech geek, but very much enjoy being social. looking for someone share many fun times and con- versations. living consciously, and cuteness are a plus. deh- geek, 25,g GOOD MAN... THOROUGH. UO 4th year. Raised in Texas, play basketball, rock climb, read/ write, backpack, am mellow. Don’t mesh well with over-the- top personalities... no offense, y’all. I’m a Scrooge. But loveable? Got2Thumbs, 21, ☎,g It’s ArcadeBeauty. Sorry cdn’t make Sat, too sick bt thought of u. Plz meet me Sat @ Meiji 10pm, I’ll make it up. Plenty of Hugs :) When: Sunday, February 19, 2012. Where: Blair Alley. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #902394 BLACK HAT BASS-ACKWARDS Keeper of the bar at Sammy B’s. A frown used to be your uniform. The smile you’ve been sporting is infectious. When: Tuesday, February 14, 2012. Where: In the Whit. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902393 FATCAT TYCOON FARTFACE I saw you riding around in your Maserhini. Live it up while the weather’s bad, dear corporate vermin, because soon as it’s warm out, the revolution is back on. Occupy!!! When: Monday, February 20, 2012. Where: Bank of America. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902392 A LITERATE WOMAN SURRENDERING INTO NATURE QUIET HIKER ROCKER To be completed. citizen- communist, 25,g Free Will Astrology BY ROB BREZSNY ARIES (March 21-April 19): At one point in his book The Divine Com- edy, the Italian poet Dante is traveling through purgatory on his way to paradise. American poet T.S. Eliot describes the scene: “The people there were inside the fl ames expurgating their errors and sins. And there was one incident when Dante was talking to an unknown woman in her fl ame. As she answered Dante’s questions, she had to step out of her fl ame to talk to him, until at last she was compelled to say to Dante, ‘Would you please hurry up with your questions so I can get on with my burning?’” I bring this to your attention, Aries, because I love the way you’ve been expurgating your own errors and sins lately. Don’t let anything interfere with your brilliant work. Keep burning till you’re done. (Source: “A New Type of Intellectual: Contemplative Withdrawal and Four Quartets,” by Kenneth P. Kramer.) TAURUS (April 20-May 20): If you’ve been holding yourself back in any way, Taurus, now’s the time to unlock and unleash yourself. If you have been compromising your high standards or selling yourself short, I hope you will give yourself permission to grow bigger and stronger and brighter. If you’ve been hiding your beauty or hedging your bets or rationing your access to the mother lode, you have offi cially arrived at the perfect moment to stop that nonsense. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In the cult blaxploitation fi lm The Hu- man Tornado, the main character Dolemite brags about his prowess. “I chained down thunder and handcuffed lightning!” he raves. “I used an earthquake to mix my milkshake! I eat an avalanche when I want ice cream! I punched a hurricane and made it a breeze! I swallowed an ice- berg and didn’t freeze!” This is the way I want to hear you talk in the coming week, Gemini. Given the current astrological confi gurations, you have every right to. Furthermore, I think it’ll be healthy for you. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Astrologer Antero Alli theorizes that the placement of the sign Cancer in a person’s chart may indicate what he or she tends to whine about. In his own chart, he says, Cancer rules his ninth house, so he whines about obsolete beliefs and bad education and stale dogmas that cause people to shun fi rsthand experience as a source of authority. I hereby declare these issues to be supremely honorable reasons for you to whine in the coming week. You also have cosmic permission to complain vociferously about the following: injustices perpetrated by small-minded people; short-sight- ed thinking that ignores the big picture; and greedy self-interest that disdains the future. On the other hand, you don’t have clearance to whine about crying babies, rude clerks or traffi c jams. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): L.A. Weekly praised the music of drone-noise band Barn Owl. Its review said that the listening experience is “akin 30 MARCH 1, 2012 EUGENE WEEKLY Looking for the woman who wants to be serenely tucked back into a high mountain valley along a beautiful creek in Northern Cal. with her man, goats, chickens and rabbits. StarrBeorn, 56,g to placing your ear against the Dalai Lama’s stomach and catching the sound of his reincarnation juices fl owing.” That sounds a bit like what’s ahead for you in the coming week, Leo: getting the lowdown on the inner workings of a benevolent source ... tuning in to the rest of the story that lies behind a seemingly simple, happy tale … gathering up revelations about the subterranean currents that are always going on beneath the surface of the good life. It’s ultimately all positive, although a bit complicated. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the coming days, you could do a lot to develop a better relationship with darkness. And no, I don’t mean that you should do bad things and seek out negativity and be fascinated with evil. When I use that word “darkness,” I’m referring to confusing mysteries and your own unconscious patterns and the secrets you hide from yourself. I mean the diffi cult memories and the parts of the world that seem inhospitable to you and the sweet dreams that have lost their way. See what you can do to understand this stuff better, Virgo. Open yourself to the redemptive teachings it has for you. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Sister Jessica, a character in Frank Her- bert’s Dune books, says, “The greatest and most important problems of life cannot be solved. They can only be outgrown.” I encourage you to use that theory as your operative hypothesis for the foreseeable future. Here are some specifi c clues about how to proceed: Don’t ob- sess on your crazy-making dilemma. Instead, concentrate on skillfully doing the pleasurable activities that you do best. Be resolutely faithful to your higher mission and feed your lust for life. Slowly but surely, I think you’ll fi nd that the frustrating impediment will be drained of at least some of its power to lock up your energy. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): A few years ago, the Hong Kong company Life Enhance sold briefs and boxer shorts that were sup- posedly designed by a master practitioner of feng shui. On the front of every garment was an image of a dragon, which the Chinese have traditionally regarded as a lucky symbol. To have this powerful charm in contact with your intimate places increased your vital force — or so the sales rap said. By my estimates, Scorpio, you’re not going to need a boost like that in the coming weeks. Without any outside aids whatsoever, your lower furnace will be generating intense beams of magical heat. What are you going to do with all that potent mojo? Please don’t use it on trivial matters. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): There are times in your life when you do a lot of exploring in the outer world, and other times when your pioneering probes are directed primarily inward. In my astrological opinion, you’re currently more suited for the latter kind of research. If you agree with me, here’s one tack you might want to take: You are the woman reading my help wanted ad in this paper seeking women for a female photographer/videographer. I see you there! :) When: Thursday, February 23, 2012. Where: right now. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #902391 HOUSE OF RECORDS Me: Striking looks of Gilbert Gottfried and an inquisitive nature. You: Patience of a saint. What color of shirt you wear? I’ll bring $101.96 today and tomor- row! When: Tuesday, February 14, 2012. Where: House Of Records. You: Man. Me: Man. #902389 FOURTEEN KISSES... Fourteen sighs... fourteen glanc- es... fourteen tries. You are worth it all!! Love When: Tuesday, February 14, 2012. Where: above the cliffs. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902388 NORTHGATE LIQUOR AUDREY. Your always the sunshine in my day. Loved that tight black shirt, unbuttoned at the top WOW was my sunshine hot that Saturday! More highlights in your hair! When: Saturday, February 11, 2012. Where: Northgate Liquor Store. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902387 STUDENT INSURGENT PHILOSOPHER Sandy hair, light brown eyes. Think think think, but don’t stop being Orlando, ridiculous and romantic if that is as you like it. See you at some such great height When: Monday, February 13, 2012. Where: there. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902385 TO THE WOMAN THAT HELPED ME FEB. 10 after my bicycle/car accident at 24th & Hilyard. Please call me, I would like to thank you. 541-505- 9690 Take an inventory of all your inner voices, noticing both the content of what they say and the tone with which they say it. Some of them may be chatty and others shy; some blaring and others seductive; some nagging and needy and others calm and insightful. Welcome all the voices in your head into the spotlight of your alert attention. Ask them to step forward and reveal their agendas. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The Oxford English Dictionary, an authority on the state of the English language, adds an average of two new words every day. In the coming weeks, Capricorn, I’d like to see you expand your capacity for self-expression with equal vigor. Accord- ing to my reading of the astrological omens, you’re due for an upgrade in your vocabulary, your clarity, and your communication skills. Here’s one of the OED’s fresh terms, which would be a good addition to your repertoire: “bouncebackability,” the ability to recover from a setback or to rebound from a loss of momentum. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): We turn to Dr. Seuss for help in formulating your horoscope this week. He told a story of dining in a restaurant with his uncle, who was served a popover, which is a puffy muffi n that’s hollow on the inside. “To eat these things,” said his uncle, “you must exercise great care. You may swallow down what’s solid, but you must spit out the air!” Drawing a lesson from these wise words, Dr. Seuss concluded, “As you partake of the world’s bill of fare, that’s darned good advice to follow. Do a lot of spitting out the hot air. And be careful what you swallow.” I expect your coming week will be suc- cessful, Aquarius, if you apply these principles. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You should be like a rooster, Pisces: dispensing wake-up calls on a regular basis. You should be nudging people to shed their torpor and shake themselves out of their stupor. What’s your personal version of “Cockadoodle-doo!”? It shouldn’t be something generic like “Open your eyes!” or “Stop making excuses!” Come up with attention-grabbing exclamations or signature phrases that no intelligent person can possibly ignore or feel defensive about. For example: “Let’s leap into the vortex and scramble our trances!”? HOMEWORK: Your imagination is the single most important as- set you possess. Listen to the podcast: http://bit.ly/YourProphecy Go to RealAstrology.com to check out EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700. WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM • BLOGS.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM
