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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 26, 2012)
GET SAUCED Hot Mama’s Kamikaze Challenge scalds Eugene BY DANTE ZUÑIGA-WEST S 2 b wine bar If you can survive that, you win a T-shirt and bragging rights. Many have tried, and many ince the dawn of time, food has led humans to pursue the extreme. The first have failed; Hitz excelled. person to look at a wooly mammoth and suggest attacking it with sticks and He was prepared, mentally and physically. The kamikaze sauce was so hot it burned sharp stones in the interest of cuisine was most likely a prehistoric radical. the nostrils when inhaled at close range, but Hitz had no fear. Surrounded by cheering Likewise, whoever thought up the idea of peeling and then deep-frying bull supporters, he tore into the wings as the stopwatch snapped on. testicles was probably a bit out there. Maybe not, who knows? Hitz’s approach was one of ravenous determi- And who cares? Fringe decisions plus food is nation, devouring wing after wing with aggres- far safer than poor choices plus alcohol — argu- sion and poise. Any chicken in the room would ably as entertaining — and spicy foods provide have been utterly terrified. the perfect platform to go all out. For those brief and heroic moments, Hitz The Hot Mama’s Wings Kamikaze Challenge transcended himself. He was Jordan dunking, isn’t a good idea for the average experimental Tyson in his prime, Prefontaine racing down the hot-sauce amateur. It’s not a good decision for Hayward Field track — smashing record books. people who fear commitment. For this sort of Hitz didn’t need six minutes. He finished the thing, you need to be an extreme-spice enthusi- nine wings in two minutes and 48 seconds. The ast. You need to temporarily disregard your room fell silent. stomach. You have to go upstairs in your mind or What happened next was a show of strength. visit Mr. Pain’s neighborhood, on the toilet, pos- It was with sheer grit that Hitz survived the sibly in the fetal position. This is about spicy subsequent six minutes. With kefir yoghurt drink food, but it’s also about volition. at the ready, he stared off into the carpet, EW intern Andrew Hitz is a man of action. A attempting to go to a happy place inside. The Eugenean by way of Alaska, Hitz is accustomed vinegar, salt, tomato paste, butter, onion, garlic, to extreme temperatures and a living environ- habanero peppers, chicken and cayenne pepper ment where local wildlife will crash through that is mixed with a special extra-spicy ingredient your front yard to eat your pets. He is also (by (that Hot Mama’s Wings refuses to disclose) choice) vigilantly omnivorous, unafraid of swirled and congealed within Hitz. He was plunging into the foulest waste receptacles the sauced, and the fiery sensation within him was city of Eugene has to offer in search of his next threatening to take over. meal. Aside from breathing deeply and cursing the Hitz will eat things that you will not. Where editor who’d facilitated this endeavor, Hitz some see poison, he sees providence. What you burned in silence. Six minutes later the stop- call derelict, he calls dinner. watch snapped off. Hitz drank his kefir to the One can only imagine the type of resilience sound of applause. Hitz’s digestive system has achieved. It is no It took roughly two and a half hours for Hitz’s small wonder he rose to the occasion. internal homeostasis to reconstitute. No one knows what originally inspired the Approximately five hours later he phoned his edi- folks at Hot Mama’s to challenge the community tor from somewhere on 13th Avenue and demand- in such piquant fashion. There are rumors that ed transportation via car, after growling that he’d Portland’s cult-esque hot wings joint Fire on the discovered it difficult to bike back home, given Mountain inspired Hot Mama’s owner Michael PHOTO BY TRASK BEDORTHA the state of indigestion he’d found himself in. His Marzano to take things one step further. battle with spices of the highest order had concluded, but the standard he set continues on. Fire on the Mountain’s event, known as the El Jefe Challenge!, requires a contestant to So how hot do you want it, Eugene? Do you think you have what it takes to step up to the plate? eat 15 wings in five minutes. The brave soul is not permitted to use ranch or bleu cheese Everyone has his own personal threshold for spice, ranging from mild to volcanic. Should dip, can use only one napkin and must sign a waiver before going through with the ordeal. you need to find a testing ground for that threshold, it appears the table has been set. The Kamikaze Challenge at Hot Mama’s Wings doesn’t require a contestant to eat 15 “Some people quit after one wing,” Marzano says of the challenge. “Some people freak wings, only nine. But these wings — slathered in Hot Mama’s signature kamikaze sauce out. Some people come in, eat all of them and don’t have any problems with it.” — must be eaten in six minutes, there can be nothing to aide in the passing of said wings, “It’s all based on the person and how hot they like things.” and after achieving consumption within the allotted time frame of six minutes, the contes- Good luck. ■ tant is not permitted to imbibe any form of liquid for another six minutes. chow.eugeneweekly.com Over 60 Wines Full Bar Local Microbrews Lunch - Dinner Dessert - Appetizers Monday - Thursday 12-10pm Friday - Saturday 12-12 Sunday 3-9pm Located in Eugene’s Crescent Village 2794 Shadow View • 505-8909 • b2winebar.com CHOW! Winter 2012 5
