Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current, January 19, 2012, Image 34

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Eugene weekly., January 19, 2012, Page 34, Image 34

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Newspaper Page TextHUNKY DORY PIPE & TOBACCO Eugene’s Largest Selection Since 1972 541-345-1853 Mon-Sat 10am-8pm • Sun 12pm-6pm WINK Eugene Weekly’s Local Dating Site • Browse local postings Respond to a Wink ad. Visit wink-kink.com and enter the ad ID • Post your own proﬁ le Ads with a ☎ have Voice Mail Messages call 1-520-547-3013 (Charges may apply) • Connect with local singles INDULGENT OPTIMISTIC INTELLECT FUN STARGAZING GARDENER Open, fun, loyal 61 year old lady seeks man with whom to share adventures, travel, be romantic, be creative, and see where that goes. The sky’s the limit. rain- g , bowmama, 61, #106896 Interesting creative adventurer, fun dynamic,intelligent attrac- tive femme, fast paced, rule breaker, wild imagination, suc- cessful disposition soft surreal, casual companionship, comforts delicious wine intimacy playful, sexy strong, curvy volumptious, powerful, abundance. g , Jadelotus, 34, #106878 CREATIVE, SPUNKY, DESERV- ING. Looking for my man. Finding only impostors. Not giving up yet. You’re handsome, funny, kind, simple. Dog owner? Want to cook for you, look into your eyes. Please find me! dragongirl, 39, ☎, g , #106715 5 LONG YEARS? CUTE AN SINGLE looking for love in all the wrong plases. christopher85, 26, #105945 CONTRADICTIONS ARE FUN. I’m a budding academic who is really disinterested in the pro- fession. I’m also an astrologer. And agnostic. And funny. And sour. And sharp. And soft. Confused? It’s simple, really. thethinker, 22, #105442 HONEST, CREATIVE, TENACIOUS Live near Eugene,54,5’6”,130lbs. Like biking & dancing. B.S. in Sociology. Fun, sophisticated yet easygoing. Like Mexican & Chinese food. Like to meet some- one who is between 50 and 65. GreenEyedBeauty, 54, g , #106863 POETRY SLAM PAINTER Lets tell a story with my words and your empty canvas. When: Saturday, January 14, 2012. Where: Tsunami books. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902354 MADE OF MEAT. I love to commune with the ocean, the universe and share secrets and communicate with other humans. psychoalche- my, 39, g , #106895 HONEST FIT FIREFIGHTER I have a passion for the moun- tains/forests. I’m honest, hard working, compassionate, and kind. I desire a companion for talks, walks, travel, and exploring whom is kind & compassionate. rowdy, 58, g , #106890 ATYPICAL YET DELIGHTFUL I am mostly looking for intimate platonic friends, enjoy depth, possible casual dating. I tend to be philosophical, psychological, analytical, honest, “interesting” and have a good sense of humor. :). FemmeV, 32, #106873 Free Will Astrology Iam 53 yearold male looking for woman 43 to 52 to court her old fashion way to get to know her better preferly single mom but not a must. lonelygent, 52, g , #106884 You were friendly and fun to talk to, your jealous boyfriend tried to start a fight with me. Would love to talk more and be friends if you’re “allowed.” :P When: Sunday, January 1, 2012. Where: Jameson’s Pub. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902352 SORORITY GIRL Kappa kappa gamma chick driv- ing like a complete idiot on E 13th, get off your phone! When: Saturday, January 7, 2012. Where: Week 1. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #902350 LONELYGENT LET’S ENJOY LIFE I would describe myself as a woman with integrity. I’m looking for a woman who loves the out- doors, hates drama, loves to make love, and loves to laugh. Time2Live, 49, #101037 TRADER JOES CHECKOUT Caught each others attention at the checkout, I looked away embarrassed...Looked up again and you were walking away with your children. Unsure if you are single??? Here’s to hoping :) When: Saturday, January 14, 2012. Where: Trader Joes. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902353 JAMESONS NEW YEARS KIND ADVENTUROUS PLAYFUL Moving back to Oregon in about a month. It would be great to meet a woman who who has a great sense of humor, eats healthy and loves well. Jorgb, 62, g , #106892 I can wait, but I don’t want to. The memory of you singing to me will make my heart ache for- ever. When: Thursday, January 5, 2012. Where: Everywhere. You: Woman. Me: Man. ☎ #902355 THEO’S GAL You’re a hot mom. When: Monday, January 9, 2012. Where: every week. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #902351 BY ROB BREZSNY ARIES (March 21-April 19): The Macy’s ad I saw in the newspaper had a blaring headline: “Find Your Magic 2.0.” The items that were being touted to help us discover our upgraded and more deluxe sense of magic were luxurious diamond rings. The cheapest was $2,150. I’m going to try to steer you in another direction in your quest to get in touch with Magic 2.0, Aries. I do believe you are in an excellent posi- tion to do just that, but only if you take a decidedly non-materialistic approach. What does your intuition tell you about how to hook up with a higher, wilder version of the primal mojo? TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The U.S. Constitution has survived 222 years, longer than the constitution of any other nation on the planet. But one of America’s founding fathers, Thomas Jefferson, might have had a problem with that. He believed our constitution should be re- vised every 19 years. Personally, I share Jefferson’s view. And I would apply that same principle of regular reinvention to all of us as indi- viduals — although I think it should be far more frequently than every 19 years. How long has it been since you’ve amended or overhauled your own rules to live by, Taurus? Judging by the astrological omens, I suspect it’s high time. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “It is respectable to have no illusions — and safe — and proﬁ table and dull,” said author Joseph Conrad. Taking our cue from his liberating derision, I propose that we protest the dullness of having no illusions. Let’s decry the blah, gray sterility that comes from entertaining no fantastic fantasies and unreasonable dreams. How boring it is to have such machine-like mental hygiene! For this one week, Gemini, I urge you to celebrate your crazy ideas. Trea- sure and adore your wacky beliefs. Study all those irrational and insane urges running around your mind to see what you can learn about your deep, dark unconsciousness. (P.S.: But I’m not saying you should act on any of those phantasms, at least not now. Simply be amused by them.) CANCER (June 21-July 22): If you were a medieval knight going into battle with a full suit of armor, the advantage you had from the metal’s protection was offset by the extra energy it took to haul around so much extra weight. In fact, historians say this is one reason that a mod- est force of English soldiers defeated a much larger French army at the Battle of Agincourt in 1415. The Frenchmen’s armor was much bulkier, and by the time they slogged through muddy ﬁ elds to reach their enemy, they were too tired to ﬁ ght at peak intensity. The moral of the story, as far as you’re concerned: To win a great victory in the coming weeks, shed as many of your defense mechanisms and as much of your emotional baggage as possible. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): One way or another, you will be more famous in the coming months than you’ve ever been before. That might mean you’ll become better known or more popular ... or it could take a different turn. To tease out the nuances, let’s draw on Naomi Shihab Nye’s poem “Famous.” “The river is famous to the ﬁ sh. / The loud voice is famous to silence, / which knew it would inherit the earth / be- fore anybody said so. / The cat sleeping on the fence is famous to the birds / watching him from the birdhouse. / The tear is famous, brieﬂ y, to the cheek. / The idea you carry close to your bosom / is famous to your bosom.” (Read the whole poem here: bit.ly/FamousToWhom.) VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Three famous actresses formed the British Anti-Cosmetic Surgery League last year. Rachel Wiesz, Kate Winslet, and Emma Thompson say they believe people should be happy with the physical appearance that nature gave them. Is it rude of me to note that unlike most of the rest of us, those three women were born gorgeous? It’s easy for them to promise not to mess with their looks. Do you ever do that, Virgo? Urge other people to do what’s natural for you but a challenge for them? I recommend against that this week. For example: If you want to inﬂ uence someone to change, be willing to change something about yourself that’s hard to change. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I predict major breakthroughs in your relationship to intimacy and togetherness in 2012, Libra — if, that is, you keep in mind the following counsel from psychologist Dr. Neil Clark Warren: “Attraction and chemistry are easily mistaken for love, but they are far from the same thing. Being attracted to someone is immediate and largely subconscious. Staying deeply in love with someone happens gradually and requires conscious decisions, made over and over again.” (Read more by Warren here: tinyurl.com/ WiseChoices.) SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Purslane is a plant that’s also known colloquially as pigweed. It’s hearty, proliﬁ c, and spreads fast. In a short time, it can grow out-of-control, covering a large area with a thick carpet. On the other hand, it’s a tasty salad green and has a long history of being used as a cooked vegetable. As a medicinal herb, it’s also quite useful, being rich in omega-3 fatty acids as well as a number of vitamins and minerals. Moral of the story: Keep pigweed contained — don’t let it grow out of control — and it will be your friend. Does anything in your life ﬁ t that description? SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): As he approaches his 70th birthday, retiree and Michigan resident Michael Nicholson is still hard at work adding to his education. He’s got 27 college degrees so far, in- cluding 12 master’s degrees and a doctorate. Although he’s not an “A” student, he loves learning for its own sake. I nominate him to be your role model for the coming weeks, Sagittarius. Your opportunities for absorbing new lessons will be at a peak. I hope you take full advantage of all the teachings that will be available. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The Bible addresses the subjects of money and possessions in about 2,000 verses, but devotes only 500 verses to prayer and 500 to faith. As you know, my advice in these horoscopes usually tends to have the opposite emphasis: I concentrate more on spiritual matters than materialistic concerns. But this time, in acknowledgment of the speciﬁ c cosmic inﬂ uences coming to bear on you, I’m going to be more like the Bible. Please proceed on the assumption that you have a mandate to think extra deeply and super creatively about money and possessions in the coming weeks. Feel free, too, to pray for ﬁ nancial guidance and meditate on increas- ing your cash ﬂ ow. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Here’s one of my favorite quotes from American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson: “I hate quotations. Tell me what you think.” The current astrological omens suggest that this is an excellent message for you to heed. It’s crucial for you to know your own mind and speak your own thoughts. It’s smart to trust your own instincts and draw on your own hard-won epiphanies. For best results, don’t just be skeptical of the conventional wisdom; be cautious about giving too much credence to every source of sagacity and expertise. Try to deﬁ ne your own positions rather than relying on theories you’ve read about and opinions you’ve heard. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Why did Mark Gibbons strap a washing machine to his back and then climb to the top of Mount Snowdown in Wales? He did it to raise charity money for the Kenyan Orphan Project. If, in the coming weeks, you try anything as crazy as he did, Pisces, make sure it’s for an equally worthy cause. Don’t you dare take on a big challenge simply to make people feel sorry for you or to dem- onstrate what a ﬁ rst-class martyr you can be. On the other hand, I’m happy to say that you could stir up a lot of good mojo by wandering into previously off-limits zones as you push past the limitations people expect you to honor. HOMEWORK: Imagine that one of your heroes comes to you and says, “Teach me the most important things you know.” What would you say? FreeWillAstrology.com. Go to RealAstrology.com to check out EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700. 34 JANUARY 19, 2012 EUGENE WEEKLY WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM • BLOGS.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM