HUNKY DORY
PIPE & TOBACCO
Eugene’s Largest Selection
Since 1972
541-345-1853
Mon-Sat 10am-8pm • Sun 12pm-6pm
WINK
Eugene Weekly’s Local Dating Site
• Browse local postings
Respond to a Wink ad. Visit wink-kink.com and enter the ad ID
• Post your own profi le
Ads with a ☎ have Voice Mail Messages call 1-520-547-3013
(Charges may apply)
• Connect with local singles
INDULGENT OPTIMISTIC
INTELLECT
FUN STARGAZING GARDENER
Open, fun, loyal 61 year old lady
seeks man with whom to share
adventures, travel, be romantic,
be creative, and see where that
goes. The sky’s the limit. rain-
g ,
bowmama,
61,
#106896
Interesting creative adventurer,
fun dynamic,intelligent attrac-
tive femme, fast paced, rule
breaker, wild imagination, suc-
cessful disposition soft surreal,
casual companionship, comforts
delicious wine intimacy playful,
sexy strong, curvy volumptious,
powerful,
abundance.
g ,
Jadelotus,
34,
#106878
CREATIVE, SPUNKY, DESERV-
ING.
Looking for my man. Finding only
impostors. Not giving up yet.
You’re handsome, funny, kind,
simple. Dog owner? Want to cook
for you, look into your eyes.
Please find me! dragongirl,
39, ☎, g , #106715
5 LONG YEARS?
CUTE AN SINGLE
looking for love in all the wrong
plases. christopher85, 26,
#105945
CONTRADICTIONS ARE FUN.
I’m a budding academic who is
really disinterested in the pro-
fession. I’m also an astrologer.
And agnostic. And funny. And
sour. And sharp. And soft.
Confused? It’s simple, really.
thethinker, 22, #105442
HONEST, CREATIVE,
TENACIOUS
Live near Eugene,54,5’6”,130lbs.
Like biking & dancing. B.S. in
Sociology. Fun, sophisticated yet
easygoing. Like Mexican &
Chinese food. Like to meet some-
one who is between 50 and 65.
GreenEyedBeauty, 54,
g , #106863
POETRY SLAM PAINTER
Lets tell a story with my words
and your empty canvas. When:
Saturday, January 14,
2012. Where: Tsunami
books. You: Man. Me:
Woman. #902354
MADE OF MEAT.
I love to commune with the
ocean, the universe and share
secrets and communicate with
other humans. psychoalche-
my, 39, g , #106895
HONEST FIT FIREFIGHTER
I have a passion for the moun-
tains/forests. I’m honest, hard
working, compassionate, and
kind. I desire a companion for
talks, walks, travel, and exploring
whom is kind & compassionate.
rowdy, 58, g , #106890
ATYPICAL YET DELIGHTFUL
I am mostly looking for intimate
platonic friends, enjoy depth,
possible casual dating. I tend to
be philosophical, psychological,
analytical, honest, “interesting”
and have a good sense of humor.
:). FemmeV, 32, #106873
Free Will Astrology
Iam 53 yearold male looking for
woman 43 to 52 to court her old
fashion way to get to know her
better preferly single mom but
not a must. lonelygent, 52,
g , #106884
You were friendly and fun to talk
to, your jealous boyfriend tried
to start a fight with me. Would
love to talk more and be friends
if you’re “allowed.” :P When:
Sunday, January
1,
2012. Where: Jameson’s
Pub. You: Woman. Me:
Man. #902352
SORORITY GIRL
Kappa kappa gamma chick driv-
ing like a complete idiot on E
13th, get off your phone! When:
Saturday, January 7,
2012. Where: Week 1.
You:
Woman.
Me:
Woman. #902350
LONELYGENT
LET’S ENJOY LIFE
I would describe myself as a
woman with integrity. I’m looking
for a woman who loves the out-
doors, hates drama, loves to
make love, and loves to laugh.
Time2Live, 49, #101037
TRADER JOES CHECKOUT
Caught each others attention at
the checkout, I looked away
embarrassed...Looked up again
and you were walking away with
your children. Unsure if you are
single??? Here’s to hoping :)
When:
Saturday,
January
14,
2012.
Where: Trader Joes. You:
Man.
Me:
Woman.
#902353
JAMESONS NEW YEARS
KIND ADVENTUROUS
PLAYFUL
Moving back to Oregon in about
a month. It would be great to
meet a woman who who has a
great sense of humor, eats
healthy and loves well. Jorgb,
62, g , #106892
I can wait, but I don’t want to.
The memory of you singing to
me will make my heart ache for-
ever. When: Thursday,
January
5, 2012.
Where: Everywhere. You:
Woman. Me: Man. ☎
#902355
THEO’S GAL
You’re a hot mom. When:
Monday, January
9,
2012. Where: every
week. You: Woman. Me:
Woman. #902351
BY ROB BREZSNY
ARIES
(March 21-April 19): The Macy’s ad I saw in the newspaper
had a blaring headline: “Find Your Magic 2.0.” The items that were
being touted to help us discover our upgraded and more deluxe sense
of magic were luxurious diamond rings. The cheapest was $2,150. I’m
going to try to steer you in another direction in your quest to get in
touch with Magic 2.0, Aries. I do believe you are in an excellent posi-
tion to do just that, but only if you take a decidedly non-materialistic
approach. What does your intuition tell you about how to hook up with
a higher, wilder version of the primal mojo?
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The U.S. Constitution has survived 222
years, longer than the constitution of any other nation on the planet.
But one of America’s founding fathers, Thomas Jefferson, might have
had a problem with that. He believed our constitution should be re-
vised every 19 years. Personally, I share Jefferson’s view. And I would
apply that same principle of regular reinvention to all of us as indi-
viduals — although I think it should be far more frequently than every
19 years. How long has it been since you’ve amended or overhauled
your own rules to live by, Taurus? Judging by the astrological omens, I
suspect it’s high time.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “It is respectable to have no illusions
— and safe — and profi table and dull,” said author Joseph Conrad.
Taking our cue from his liberating derision, I propose that we protest
the dullness of having no illusions. Let’s decry the blah, gray sterility
that comes from entertaining no fantastic fantasies and unreasonable
dreams. How boring it is to have such machine-like mental hygiene! For
this one week, Gemini, I urge you to celebrate your crazy ideas. Trea-
sure and adore your wacky beliefs. Study all those irrational and insane
urges running around your mind to see what you can learn about your
deep, dark unconsciousness. (P.S.: But I’m not saying you should act on
any of those phantasms, at least not now. Simply be amused by them.)
CANCER (June 21-July 22): If you were a medieval knight going into
battle with a full suit of armor, the advantage you had from the metal’s
protection was offset by the extra energy it took to haul around so
much extra weight. In fact, historians say this is one reason that a mod-
est force of English soldiers defeated a much larger French army at the
Battle of Agincourt in 1415. The Frenchmen’s armor was much bulkier,
and by the time they slogged through muddy fi elds to reach their
enemy, they were too tired to fi ght at peak intensity. The moral of the
story, as far as you’re concerned: To win a great victory in the coming
weeks, shed as many of your defense mechanisms and as much of your
emotional baggage as possible.
LEO
(July 23-Aug. 22): One way or another, you will be more famous
in the coming months than you’ve ever been before. That might mean
you’ll become better known or more popular ... or it could take a
different turn. To tease out the nuances, let’s draw on Naomi Shihab
Nye’s poem “Famous.” “The river is famous to the fi sh. / The loud
voice is famous to silence, / which knew it would inherit the earth / be-
fore anybody said so. / The cat sleeping on the fence is famous to the
birds / watching him from the birdhouse. / The tear is famous, briefl y,
to the cheek. / The idea you carry close to your bosom / is famous to
your bosom.” (Read the whole poem here: bit.ly/FamousToWhom.)
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Three famous actresses formed the
British Anti-Cosmetic Surgery League last year. Rachel Wiesz, Kate
Winslet, and Emma Thompson say they believe people should be
happy with the physical appearance that nature gave them. Is it rude
of me to note that unlike most of the rest of us, those three women
were born gorgeous? It’s easy for them to promise not to mess with
their looks. Do you ever do that, Virgo? Urge other people to do what’s
natural for you but a challenge for them? I recommend against that
this week. For example: If you want to infl uence someone to change,
be willing to change something about yourself that’s hard to change.
LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I predict major breakthroughs in your
relationship to intimacy and togetherness in 2012, Libra — if, that is,
you keep in mind the following counsel from psychologist Dr. Neil
Clark Warren: “Attraction and chemistry are easily mistaken for love,
but they are far from the same thing. Being attracted to someone
is immediate and largely subconscious. Staying deeply in love with
someone happens gradually and requires conscious decisions, made
over and over again.” (Read more by Warren here: tinyurl.com/
WiseChoices.)
SCORPIO
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Purslane is a plant that’s also known
colloquially as pigweed. It’s hearty, prolifi c, and spreads fast. In a
short time, it can grow out-of-control, covering a large area with a
thick carpet. On the other hand, it’s a tasty salad green and has a long
history of being used as a cooked vegetable. As a medicinal herb, it’s
also quite useful, being rich in omega-3 fatty acids as well as a number
of vitamins and minerals. Moral of the story: Keep pigweed contained
— don’t let it grow out of control — and it will be your friend. Does
anything in your life fi t that description?
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): As he approaches his 70th
birthday, retiree and Michigan resident Michael Nicholson is still hard
at work adding to his education. He’s got 27 college degrees so far, in-
cluding 12 master’s degrees and a doctorate. Although he’s not an “A”
student, he loves learning for its own sake. I nominate him to be your
role model for the coming weeks, Sagittarius. Your opportunities for
absorbing new lessons will be at a peak. I hope you take full advantage
of all the teachings that will be available.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The Bible addresses the subjects
of money and possessions in about 2,000 verses, but devotes only
500 verses to prayer and 500 to faith. As you know, my advice in
these horoscopes usually tends to have the opposite emphasis: I
concentrate more on spiritual matters than materialistic concerns. But
this time, in acknowledgment of the specifi c cosmic infl uences coming
to bear on you, I’m going to be more like the Bible. Please proceed on
the assumption that you have a mandate to think extra deeply and
super creatively about money and possessions in the coming weeks.
Feel free, too, to pray for fi nancial guidance and meditate on increas-
ing your cash fl ow.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Here’s one of my favorite quotes
from American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson: “I hate quotations.
Tell me what you think.” The current astrological omens suggest that
this is an excellent message for you to heed. It’s crucial for you to
know your own mind and speak your own thoughts. It’s smart to trust
your own instincts and draw on your own hard-won epiphanies. For
best results, don’t just be skeptical of the conventional wisdom; be
cautious about giving too much credence to every source of sagacity
and expertise. Try to defi ne your own positions rather than relying on
theories you’ve read about and opinions you’ve heard.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Why did Mark Gibbons strap a washing
machine to his back and then climb to the top of Mount Snowdown
in Wales? He did it to raise charity money for the Kenyan Orphan
Project. If, in the coming weeks, you try anything as crazy as he did,
Pisces, make sure it’s for an equally worthy cause. Don’t you dare take
on a big challenge simply to make people feel sorry for you or to dem-
onstrate what a fi rst-class martyr you can be. On the other hand, I’m
happy to say that you could stir up a lot of good mojo by wandering
into previously off-limits zones as you push past the limitations people
expect you to honor.
HOMEWORK: Imagine that one of your heroes comes to you and
says, “Teach me the most important things you know.” What would
you say? FreeWillAstrology.com.
Go to RealAstrology.com to check out EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES.
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.
34
JANUARY 19, 2012 EUGENE WEEKLY
WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM • BLOGS.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM