Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 5, 2012)
541-345-1853 Mon-Sat 10am-8pm Sun 12pm-6pm Supporting Local Art for the Past Four Decades WINK Eugene Weekly’s Local Dating Site • Browse local postings Respond to a Wink ad. Visit wink-kink.com and enter the ad ID • Post your own profi le Ads with a ☎ have Voice Mail Messages call 1-520-547-3013 (Charges may apply) • Connect with local singles WAFFLE GODDESS Off the Waffle. Was hungry, you fed me. My appetite faded my desire for you swelled. Wish I could order you with a side of syrup. redish hair, young, perky.. When: Sunday, January 1, 2012. Where: Off the Waffle. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902339 HUNKY DORY PIPE & TOBACCO GREENEYEDBEAUTY RURAL RIVER LIVING... SWF,slender cutie. I like nature,biking,dancing. I’m fun, sophistocated yet easygoing. Love books,movies,art,music. Would like to meet someone between the ages of 50 and 65. GreenEyedBeauty, 54, g , #106863 A life time of seeking adventures in education and the world! I am a peaceful and humorous per- son. I can lead, follow, but prefer to enjoy a life of equality! David_de_Oregon, 67, g , #104303 PETITE JAPANESE LADY with Master’s seeks kind-hearted man who loves cooking for friendship based on integrity and mutual respect. Let’s dis- cuss food for thought and soul. (No facial hair, smoking, tats, or piercings.). WildRose, 46, g , #106810 MTTABORTHEATER ON NYE CARING, CONSIDERATE,OPEN- MINED I am looking for a relationship or a friend to hang out and talk. I am a indoor and outdoor person. Hit me up if you are interested. Btw, I,Asian guy! lersack, 21, #106820 SOCIALLY ADEPT GIVER I fear I may give up on finding someone that loves me 4 me. Good and bad I have nothing 2 hide. What u see is what u get. iamhope, 44, #106821 follow us on twitter: twitter.com/eugeneweekly Free Will Astrology ARIES TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fi sh by its ability to climb a tree it will spend its whole life believing it is stupid.” Rumor has it that this pithy observation was uttered by Albert Einstein. I bring it to your attention, Taurus, because you’ll be smart to keep it in mind throughout 2012. According to my astrologi- cal analysis, you will have an excellent opportunity to identify and hone and express your specifi c brilliance. So it is crucial that you eliminate any tendency you might have to see yourself as being like a fi sh whose job it is to climb a tree. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In his book Priceless: How I Went Undercover to Rescue the World’s Stolen Treasures, former FBI agent Robert K. Wittman tells the story of the world’s second largest crystal ball. Worth $350,000 and once belonging to the Chinese Dowager Empress, it was stolen from a museum. Wittman never located the actual robber, but years later he tracked down the crystal ball to a person who had acquired it quite innocently and by accident. She was a young witch in New Jersey who, unaware of its origins or value, kept it on her bedroom dresser with a baseball cap on top of it. I suspect you may have a comparable adventure in the coming months, Gemini. If you look hard and keep an open mind, you will eventually recover lost riches or a disappeared prize in the least likely of places. CANCER (June 21-July 22): It’s impossible for the human body to run a mile in less than four minutes — at least that’s what the conven- tional wisdom used to say. And indeed, no one in history ever broke that barrier until May 6, 1954, when Roger Bannister raced a mile in three minutes, 59.4 seconds. Since then, lots of athletes have done it and the record has been lowered by another 17 seconds. In fact, the sub-four-minute mile is now regarded as a standard accomplishment for middle-distance runners. I suspect that in 2012 you will accomplish your own version of Bannister’s feat — a breakthrough that once seemed crazy diffi cult or beyond your capacity. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Back in 1958, 17-year-old Bob Heft created JANUARY 5, 2012 EUGENE WEEKLY LOVE IS ACCEPTANCE to-be unsure and embrace uncertainty to-have doubts and fears about your lover and your- self but, to-move forward and to-help each other see more clearly the truth of a shared exsistence. When: Sunday, April 10, 2011. Where: Harper’s Magazine pg.45. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902336 PAUL Passed you at 5th St. Market. You don’t want to be married and think I’m beautiful. Phone num- ber didn’t work. Please try again. Often there on Wed. around 1:20. When: Wednesday, November 30, 2011. Where: 5th St. Market. You: Man. Me: Woman. ☎ #902330 REMEMBER YOUR KISS We met had a few at Sonny’s my friend was into you but you liked me I gave my number you gave me a kiss and address. Call me When: Friday, December 2, 2011. Where: Sonny’s tavern Springfield. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902328 CENTER OFTHE UNIVERSE... A smile of warmth I would posses,to be that Mars,with the Venus I imagine. Alas Miss,I doubt its U,addressing me. When: Monday, January 2, 2012. Where: Center of the Universe. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902341 FIREMAN BOB, INTRIGUE! I’ll watch for you at the cathedral of food. Be there then. When: Tuesday, December 27, 2011. Where: Oregon Electric Station. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902340 Me-Crazy girl You- Crazy boy. Saw you for the first time a year ago, a rough year. Thanks for finally seeing the light. Don’t know what I’d do without you. When: Thursday, December 16, 2010. Where: Christmas Party. You: Man. Me: Woman. ☎ #902335 BY ROB BREZSNY (March 21-April 19): “It is surely a great calamity for a human being to have no obsessions,” said poet Robert Bly. That’s why he decided to learn to love his obsessions. I urge you to keep his ap- proach in mind throughout the coming months, Aries. You are likely to thrive to the degree that you precisely identify and vigorously harness your obsessions. Please note I’m not saying you should allow your obsessions to possess you like demons and toss you around like a rag doll. I’m not advising you to fall down in front of your obsessions and worship them like idols. Be wildly grateful for them; love them with your fi ery heart fully unfurled; but keep them under the control of your fi ne mind. 26 Met you for a brief moment just before midnight before your friends took you away. You said you were new to Eugene. I’d love to show you around town. When: Saturday, December 31, 2011. Where: Mt Tabor Theater. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902337 you: black hair, sexy red dress, were you reading raskolnikov’s disorder? me: tall louche type in pinstripes and tee. wanted to talk but lost my nerve. coffee? sex? When: Sunday, December 18, 2011. Where: Theo’s Coffee House. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902331 CRAZINESS LET’S ENJOY LIFE I would describe myself as a woman with integrity. I’m looking for a woman who loves the out- doors, hates drama, loves to make love, and loves to laugh. Time2Live, 49, #101037 JAMESONS NEW YEARS You were friendly and fun to talk to, your jealous boyfriend tried to start a fight with me. Would love to talk more and be friends if you’re “allowed.” When: Saturday, December 31, 2011. Where: Jamesons. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902338 BEAUTIFUL LITERATE BOMB- SHELL a 50-star American fl ag for a high school project. Hawaii and Alaska were being considered for U.S. statehood at that time, and a new design was needed to replace the old 48-star fl ag. Heft’s teacher originally gave him a grade of B- for his work. But when his model was later selected to be the actual American fl ag, the teacher raised his grade to an A. I suspect that a similar progression is in store for you in the coming year, Leo. Some work you did that never received proper credit will fi nally be accorded the value it deserves. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Greek philosopher Plato suggested that we may become more receptive to spiritual beauty by putting ourselves in the presence of physical beauty. The stimulation we get when inspired by what looks good may help train us to recognize sublime truths. I’m not so sure about that. In my experience, people often get so entranced by their emotional and bodily responses to attractive sights and sounds that they neglect to search for higher, subtler sources of splendor. But I do believe you may be an exception to this tendency in the coming months. That’s why I’m giving you the go-ahead — indeed, the mandate — to surround yourself with physical beauty. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Before he died in 1902, Libran cartoonist Thomas Nast left a potent legacy. Among his enduring creations were the modern image of Santa Claus, the iconic donkey for America’s Democratic Party, and the elephant for the Republican Party. I’m guessing that 2012 is going to be a Thomas Nast kind of year for you Librans. The work you do and the ripples you set in motion are likely to last a long time. So I suggest you choose the infl uences you unleash with great care and integrity. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “If you’re in a good relationship, chances are you’re bored out of your mind,” spouts comedian Chris Rock in his show Never Scared. “All good relationships are boring. The only exciting relationships are bad ones. You never know what’s going to happen tomorrow when you’re in a bad relationship. You never know when they’re gonna walk through the door and say, ‘Hey, you gave me crabs.’ That’s exciting!” Rock is making a satirical overstate- ment, but it does contain grains of truth. Which is why, in accordance with the astrological omens, I deliver the following request to you: In 2012, cultivate stable relationships that are boring in all the best ways. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Once every decade or so, you’re asked to make a special point of practicing forgiveness and atonement. According to my reading of the astrological omens, that time will be the next few months. I think it’ll be quite important for you to cleanse the grungy build-up of regrets and remorse from your psyche. Ready to get started? Compose a list of the sins you could expiate, the karmic debts you can repay, and the redemptions you should initiate. I suggest you make it into a fun, creative project that you will thoroughly enjoy. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Happiness isn’t a state you acquire by luck. It takes hard work and relentless concentration. You have to rise up and rebel against the nonstop fl ood of trivial chaos and meaningless events you’re invited to wallow in. You have to overcome the hard-core cultural conditioning that tempts you to assume that suffering is normal and the world is a hostile place. It’s really quite unnatural to train yourself to be peaceful and mindful; it’s essentially a great rebellion against an unacknowledged taboo. Here’s the good news: 2012 will be an excellent time for you to do this work. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): More and more musicians and au- thors are choosing to self-publish. That way they retain the full rights to their creative work, keeping it from being controlled and potentially misused by a record label or publishing company. One example is sing- er-songwriter Terri Hendrix, who owns all 14 of her master recordings. She lives by the motto, “Own Your Own Universe.” I urge you to adopt her approach in 2012, Aquarius. The coming months will be prime time for you to do all you can to take full possession of everything you need to become what you want to be. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The coming months will be a time when you’ll thrive by seeking out novel ideas, using new words, and regarding your imagination as an organ that’s as important to feed as your stomach. In that spirit, I’m offering you a slew of freshly made-up terms that’ll help tease your brain in ways that are in alignment with the upcoming astrological factors. They all come from the very NSFW dictionary at http://tinyurl.com/Dixtionary. 1. Assymectricity: energy generated by lopsidedness. 2. Enigmagnetic: a person who attracts mysteries. 3. Indumbnitable: incapable of being dumbed down. 4. Ben- eviolent: helpful chaos. 5. Fauxbia: a fake fear. 6. Craptometry: ability to see through all the BS. 7. Adoregasm: when you treasure someone to the point of ecstasy. HOMEWORK : Send me a list of your top fi ve New Year’s resolu- tions. Go to RealAstrology.com and click on “Email Rob.” Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny's EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700. WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM • BLOGS.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM
