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WAFFLE GODDESS
Off the Waffle. Was hungry, you
fed me. My appetite faded my
desire for you swelled. Wish I
could order you with a side of
syrup. redish hair, young, perky..
When: Sunday, January
1, 2012. Where: Off the
Waffle. You: Woman. Me:
Man. #902339
HUNKY DORY PIPE & TOBACCO
GREENEYEDBEAUTY
RURAL RIVER LIVING...
SWF,slender cutie. I like
nature,biking,dancing. I’m fun,
sophistocated yet easygoing.
Love books,movies,art,music.
Would like to meet someone
between the ages of 50 and 65.
GreenEyedBeauty, 54,
g , #106863
A life time of seeking adventures
in education and the world! I am
a peaceful and humorous per-
son. I can lead, follow, but prefer
to enjoy a life of equality!
David_de_Oregon, 67, g ,
#104303
PETITE JAPANESE LADY
with Master’s seeks kind-hearted
man who loves cooking for
friendship based on integrity
and mutual respect. Let’s dis-
cuss food for thought and soul.
(No facial hair, smoking, tats, or
piercings.). WildRose, 46, g ,
#106810
MTTABORTHEATER ON NYE
CARING, CONSIDERATE,OPEN-
MINED
I am looking for a relationship or
a friend to hang out and talk. I
am a indoor and outdoor person.
Hit me up if you are interested.
Btw, I,Asian guy! lersack, 21,
#106820
SOCIALLY ADEPT GIVER
I fear I may give up on finding
someone that loves me 4 me.
Good and bad I have nothing 2
hide. What u see is what u get.
iamhope, 44, #106821
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Free Will Astrology
ARIES
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Everyone is a genius, but if you judge
a fi sh by its ability to climb a tree it will spend its whole life believing
it is stupid.” Rumor has it that this pithy observation was uttered by
Albert Einstein. I bring it to your attention, Taurus, because you’ll be
smart to keep it in mind throughout 2012. According to my astrologi-
cal analysis, you will have an excellent opportunity to identify and
hone and express your specifi c brilliance. So it is crucial that you
eliminate any tendency you might have to see yourself as being like a
fi sh whose job it is to climb a tree.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In his book Priceless: How I Went
Undercover to Rescue the World’s Stolen Treasures, former FBI agent
Robert K. Wittman tells the story of the world’s second largest crystal
ball. Worth $350,000 and once belonging to the Chinese Dowager
Empress, it was stolen from a museum. Wittman never located the
actual robber, but years later he tracked down the crystal ball to a
person who had acquired it quite innocently and by accident. She was
a young witch in New Jersey who, unaware of its origins or value, kept
it on her bedroom dresser with a baseball cap on top of it. I suspect
you may have a comparable adventure in the coming months, Gemini.
If you look hard and keep an open mind, you will eventually recover
lost riches or a disappeared prize in the least likely of places.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): It’s impossible for the human body to
run a mile in less than four minutes — at least that’s what the conven-
tional wisdom used to say. And indeed, no one in history ever broke
that barrier until May 6, 1954, when Roger Bannister raced a mile in
three minutes, 59.4 seconds. Since then, lots of athletes have done it
and the record has been lowered by another 17 seconds. In fact, the
sub-four-minute mile is now regarded as a standard accomplishment
for middle-distance runners. I suspect that in 2012 you will accomplish
your own version of Bannister’s feat — a breakthrough that once
seemed crazy diffi cult or beyond your capacity.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Back in 1958, 17-year-old Bob Heft created
JANUARY 5, 2012 EUGENE WEEKLY
LOVE IS ACCEPTANCE
to-be unsure and embrace
uncertainty to-have doubts and
fears about your lover and your-
self but, to-move forward and
to-help each other see more
clearly the truth of a shared
exsistence. When: Sunday,
April 10, 2011. Where:
Harper’s
Magazine
pg.45. You: Man. Me:
Woman. #902336
PAUL
Passed you at 5th St. Market.
You don’t want to be married and
think I’m beautiful. Phone num-
ber didn’t work. Please try again.
Often there on Wed. around 1:20.
When:
Wednesday,
November 30, 2011.
Where: 5th St. Market.
You: Man. Me: Woman. ☎
#902330
REMEMBER YOUR KISS
We met had a few at Sonny’s my
friend was into you but you liked
me I gave my number you gave
me a kiss and address. Call me
When: Friday, December
2, 2011. Where: Sonny’s
tavern Springfield. You:
Woman.
Me:
Man.
#902328
CENTER OFTHE UNIVERSE...
A smile of warmth I would
posses,to be that Mars,with the
Venus I imagine. Alas Miss,I
doubt its U,addressing me.
When: Monday, January
2, 2012. Where: Center
of the Universe. You:
Woman.
Me:
Man.
#902341
FIREMAN BOB, INTRIGUE!
I’ll watch for you at the cathedral
of food. Be there then. When:
Tuesday, December 27,
2011. Where: Oregon
Electric Station. You:
Man.
Me:
Woman.
#902340
Me-Crazy girl You- Crazy boy.
Saw you for the first time a year
ago, a rough year. Thanks for
finally seeing the light. Don’t
know what I’d do without you.
When:
Thursday,
December 16, 2010.
Where: Christmas Party.
You: Man. Me: Woman. ☎
#902335
BY ROB BREZSNY
(March 21-April 19): “It is surely a great calamity for a human
being to have no obsessions,” said poet Robert Bly. That’s why he
decided to learn to love his obsessions. I urge you to keep his ap-
proach in mind throughout the coming months, Aries. You are likely to
thrive to the degree that you precisely identify and vigorously harness
your obsessions. Please note I’m not saying you should allow your
obsessions to possess you like demons and toss you around like a rag
doll. I’m not advising you to fall down in front of your obsessions and
worship them like idols. Be wildly grateful for them; love them with
your fi ery heart fully unfurled; but keep them under the control of
your fi ne mind.
26
Met you for a brief moment just
before midnight before your
friends took you away. You said
you were new to Eugene. I’d love
to show you around town.
When:
Saturday,
December 31, 2011.
Where: Mt Tabor Theater.
You: Woman. Me: Man.
#902337
you: black hair, sexy red dress,
were you reading raskolnikov’s
disorder? me: tall louche type in
pinstripes and tee. wanted to
talk but lost my nerve. coffee?
sex? When:
Sunday,
December 18, 2011.
Where: Theo’s Coffee
House. You: Woman. Me:
Man. #902331
CRAZINESS
LET’S ENJOY LIFE
I would describe myself as a
woman with integrity. I’m looking
for a woman who loves the out-
doors, hates drama, loves to
make love, and loves to laugh.
Time2Live, 49, #101037
JAMESONS NEW YEARS
You were friendly and fun to talk
to, your jealous boyfriend tried
to start a fight with me. Would
love to talk more and be friends
if you’re “allowed.” When:
Saturday, December 31,
2011. Where: Jamesons.
You: Woman. Me: Man.
#902338
BEAUTIFUL LITERATE BOMB-
SHELL
a 50-star American fl ag for a high school project. Hawaii and Alaska
were being considered for U.S. statehood at that time, and a new
design was needed to replace the old 48-star fl ag. Heft’s teacher
originally gave him a grade of B- for his work. But when his model was
later selected to be the actual American fl ag, the teacher raised his
grade to an A. I suspect that a similar progression is in store for you in
the coming year, Leo. Some work you did that never received proper
credit will fi nally be accorded the value it deserves.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Greek philosopher Plato suggested that
we may become more receptive to spiritual beauty by putting ourselves
in the presence of physical beauty. The stimulation we get when
inspired by what looks good may help train us to recognize sublime
truths. I’m not so sure about that. In my experience, people often get so
entranced by their emotional and bodily responses to attractive sights
and sounds that they neglect to search for higher, subtler sources of
splendor. But I do believe you may be an exception to this tendency in
the coming months. That’s why I’m giving you the go-ahead — indeed,
the mandate — to surround yourself with physical beauty.
LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Before he died in 1902, Libran cartoonist
Thomas Nast left a potent legacy. Among his enduring creations were
the modern image of Santa Claus, the iconic donkey for America’s
Democratic Party, and the elephant for the Republican Party. I’m
guessing that 2012 is going to be a Thomas Nast kind of year for you
Librans. The work you do and the ripples you set in motion are likely
to last a long time. So I suggest you choose the infl uences you unleash
with great care and integrity.
SCORPIO
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “If you’re in a good relationship,
chances are you’re bored out of your mind,” spouts comedian Chris
Rock in his show Never Scared. “All good relationships are boring. The
only exciting relationships are bad ones. You never know what’s going
to happen tomorrow when you’re in a bad relationship. You never
know when they’re gonna walk through the door and say, ‘Hey, you
gave me crabs.’ That’s exciting!” Rock is making a satirical overstate-
ment, but it does contain grains of truth. Which is why, in accordance
with the astrological omens, I deliver the following request to you: In
2012, cultivate stable relationships that are boring in all the best ways.
SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Once every decade or so, you’re
asked to make a special point of practicing forgiveness and atonement.
According to my reading of the astrological omens, that time will be the
next few months. I think it’ll be quite important for you to cleanse the
grungy build-up of regrets and remorse from your psyche. Ready to get
started? Compose a list of the sins you could expiate, the karmic debts
you can repay, and the redemptions you should initiate. I suggest you
make it into a fun, creative project that you will thoroughly enjoy.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Happiness isn’t a state you
acquire by luck. It takes hard work and relentless concentration.
You have to rise up and rebel against the nonstop fl ood of trivial
chaos and meaningless events you’re invited to wallow in. You have
to overcome the hard-core cultural conditioning that tempts you to
assume that suffering is normal and the world is a hostile place. It’s
really quite unnatural to train yourself to be peaceful and mindful; it’s
essentially a great rebellion against an unacknowledged taboo. Here’s
the good news: 2012 will be an excellent time for you to do this work.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): More and more musicians and au-
thors are choosing to self-publish. That way they retain the full rights
to their creative work, keeping it from being controlled and potentially
misused by a record label or publishing company. One example is sing-
er-songwriter Terri Hendrix, who owns all 14 of her master recordings.
She lives by the motto, “Own Your Own Universe.” I urge you to adopt
her approach in 2012, Aquarius. The coming months will be prime time
for you to do all you can to take full possession of everything you need
to become what you want to be.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The coming months will be a time
when you’ll thrive by seeking out novel ideas, using new words, and
regarding your imagination as an organ that’s as important to feed as
your stomach. In that spirit, I’m offering you a slew of freshly made-up
terms that’ll help tease your brain in ways that are in alignment with
the upcoming astrological factors. They all come from the very NSFW
dictionary at http://tinyurl.com/Dixtionary. 1. Assymectricity: energy
generated by lopsidedness. 2. Enigmagnetic: a person who attracts
mysteries. 3. Indumbnitable: incapable of being dumbed down. 4. Ben-
eviolent: helpful chaos. 5. Fauxbia: a fake fear. 6. Craptometry: ability
to see through all the BS. 7. Adoregasm: when you treasure someone
to the point of ecstasy.
HOMEWORK : Send me a list of your top fi ve New Year’s resolu-
tions. Go to RealAstrology.com and click on “Email Rob.”
Go to RealAstrology.com
to check out Rob Brezsny's
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