Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current, May 05, 2011, Image 46

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Eugene weekly., May 05, 2011, Page 46, Image 46

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Newspaper Page TextWINK QUIRKY HIGH ENERGY Born and Raised. I’m a Eugene Native,Single mother looking for someone to just hang out with and get to know on an intellec- tual level, not someone who just wants sex. Brat, 30, g , #106201 Eugene Weekly’s Local Dating Site Respond to a Wink ad. Visit wink-kink.com and enter the ad ID Ads with a ☎ have Voice Mail Messages call 1-520-547-3013 • Browse local postings • Post your own proﬁ le (Charges may apply) SOUTHERNBELLE TREEHUG- GER HOPELESSROMANTIC MARATHON MOTIVATOR BICYCLIST justmoved here fromTN.im laid back.downtoearth lovemusic.art. goodbeer.goodbud.lookin to make new friends.meet new people.lovemusic!lovefestivals n shows.i am my own person.tat- toos.piercings.people whocan keep up with me.witty.outspo- ken.lil wild.like to party.if u wan- naknow morejust lemmeknow. southern_charmer89, 22, g , #106033 You on bike, in black, (w/ Boston backpack?), miles 22-26. Me run- ning, yellow shirt, trying to break 3 hrs. I PR’ed 3:00.42. I CAN’T THANK YOU ENOUGH for your motivation!!! When: Sunday, May 1, 2011. Where: Willamette R. Path. You: Man. Me: Man. #902087 HEY MAEBELLE I don’t have a paid membership but I really like your style,think U & I would get along well together checkout my profile The Pragmatist hopefully u feel the same. When: Wednesday, April 27, 2011. Where: Pics online. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902077 WORLD TRAVELER Sweet and honest person look- ing for the right, honest compan- ion and friend to share life’s experiences and pleasures. I love books, garage sales, NPR, the Ducks, football, track and traveling. loulou, 61, #101279 HORSES, GARDENS, SUNRISES Country lady looking for her male counterpart- I have 2 hors- es and love to ride, need a part- ner! Would prefer someone with his own horse, please be single! g , goddess2, 60, #106091 BORNOFTHESKY AND DREAMING!!! PRAGMATIC EDUCATED MAN Looking for a woman who knows the meaning of Pragmatic and other large words!I have adegree inNetwork Admin.and in culinary arts aswellas otherdegrees(liket okeepthenogginbusy)would like someone to talk to The Pragmatist. Shag, 30, #106204 STONED METAL HEAD I’m a metal head who loves to smoke the green.I don’t really do much except hang out with friends and im looking for some- one to join me in my laziness. TheEugenian, 18, g , #106202 optimusprime, waltwhitman and dr.seuss hada baby; it was me!!! Muscley,fit,bearded, athlete- dreamer-artist-yogi-poetboy seeks twinkly-eyed poetgirl, maybe inked, hopefully kinked;) let’s grin at salamanders and bumblebees, eatcupcakes onthe trampoline, and benew likechil- dren.... cyclone_poet_boy, 36, g , #106181 MAKE LIFE HAPPY Find joy in the everyday experi- ence. Hold my hand. Have my heart. Run with me Walk with me climb with me. Laugh play and dance. PrinceVoknor, 30, #106170 DANCING FIDDLE MAKER SOMETHING INTERESTING Married woman looking for a woman. captainbolo, 35, #106213 A CHARMING POLYGON I love Bob Dylan and Nicki Minaj. I like to cook, dance and bike to Trader Joe’s. My dream is to live in a house with tons of flowers. patty, 20, ☎, g , #105932 Mermaid Ca r ve r, ViolinGuitarMaker, Artist, Dancer, Woodsman, Lover of Nature, Gardener, Farmer, Rain Showers, Skinny Dipper, Lover of Tropics, Beethoven, Bob Marley, Grateful Dead, Jazz, Arts, seeking Natural Hippie Woods Woman. fiddle- mon, 56, ☎, g , #106192 SNOWBOARDING RAGER/ EX-YUMMER! I like the outdoors. I’m a blazer. I like music. I’m distracted easily. I like to travel. I like to organize. I love food. I like to Rage. BusBoy186, 20, g , #105839 GLENN BECK SUCKS Quirky gay boy, scientific mind, well kept and hygienic. Enjoys cuddling under the stars, good music, and Dan Savage’s column. Nonsmoker, 18, tall, open minded, passionate. viriproviri, 18, g , #105543 CONTRADICTIONS ARE FUN. VA POUR G‚TEAU? Music history student at LCC. I like cooking, hanging out, and drinking coffee. I have no prefer- ence to kinks, as I am willing to try most things. Tehfuzzycrab, 23, g , #106199 Free Will Astrology I’m a budding academic who is really disinterested in the pro- fession. I’m also an astrologer. And agnostic. And funny. And sour. And sharp. And soft. Confused? It’s simple, really. thethinker, 21, #105442 MT. PISGAH BEAUTY!!! METAL,ANIME, COMICS,NERDY,GUITAR APPLEBLOSSOM DIRTYBLOND MEGASHARK Im a metalhead nerd who is look- ing a for girl to hang with,who likes metal and going to metal shows with me so we can head- bang and mosh. Deth21, 20, g , #106217 I saw you in a green shirt cross- ing marathon finish line looking strong, Beautiful, and smiling. Now I hope you see yourself like I always have. When: Sunday, May 1, 2011. Where: Hayward Field. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902088 COOL STONER DUDE Intelligent female wanted to hang out in totally cool house: weed, food, movies, conversa- tion. Please be pretty, confident, and interesting. warm and allur- ing yes; sad and angry no. smartash2011, 33, ☎, #106157 NEED A FRIEND Fighting the mid-life crisis n los- ing the battle,don’t plan on going down easy or alone,need a part- ner in crime to get me into trou- ble or get me out of trouble. fishguy, 54, #105589 WOMEN OF EUGENE I feel as though You would pay me know mind even if it cost me my Life, Yet I am a fine man that is apparently misunderstood. When: Saturday, April 30, 2011. Where: Every day in town. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902083 Gorgeous girl hiking Mt. Pisgah last week. Hat wearing, buff, great smelling, beautiful smile. We talked in the lot. Had a con- nection. You were driving a blue Highlander. Contact me. When: Thursday, April 28, 2011. Where: My future. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902086 SEXY POOL JUNKIE Watching you play pool makes me want to play with myself. You’re a rare breed. I would love to play with your stick sometime. I’m sure its the best! When: Tuesday, April 26, 2011. Where: Around. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902085 UNIQUE TATTOED BLONDE saw you at the saturday market and you definately caught my eye..and ...loved your tattoo’s... beret’ed goateed man...04/30/2011 contact me ... lets talk When: Saturday, April 30, 2011. Where: saturday market. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902082 TAMAR TASTING VINO You liked expensive zinfandel recently. Dave was quite attract- ed to you from first sight,spoke as you sampled syrah,regrets not giving you his number. Hope you visit there often, or reply. When: Thursday, April 28, 2011. Where: Wine market. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902079 THAT SUNDANCE FELLA. We chatted briefly at the regis- ter, I suggested that you actually worked at Trader Joes as well, but kept it a secret. Do you like wine, or just good company? When: Thursday, April 21, 2011. Where: Sundance Natural Foodstore. You: Man. Me: Man. #902078 YONDER RESPONDER Hey Girl;Therewasalotofpeopleat thatconcertif u could please give a descrip of yourself or a descrip of me and where you saw me in relation to the venue. Iwouldlikethepleasureof getting to know u better. When: Wednesday, April 13, 2011. Where: Yonder Concert. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902076 SEXY RED SKIRT Saw you at Wandering Goat on Saturday (23rd). You: red skirt, black and white striped top, with friends. Wanted to say hi but didn’t want to interrupt. Single? When: Saturday, April 23, 2011. Where: Wandering Goat. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902073 BY ROB BREZSNY ARIES (March 21-April 19): Imagine this scene, as described by Seattle-based video artist Michael Douglas. “Sometimes a tree falls down in a ﬁ eld of cows, and the cows walk over to it and stare at it. It used to be standing and now it’s on the ground. There’s something different in the ﬁ eld and the cows start to hang out around the tree and watch it like it’s television, attracted to the rupture in the order of things. They gather around it for months, even after they completely forget why they started doing it.” I think there’s a comparable scene going on in your life right now, Aries. People you care about are in a daze, seemingly hypnotized by a certain “rupture in the order of things” that took place some time ago. In my opinion, it’s your task to wake them up, gently if possible, and motivate them to move on. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You’re an animal! And I mean that in the best senses of the word. Your vitality is heading toward peak levels, and your body is as smart as it gets. If you were ever going to act as if every move you make is a dance, now would be the time to do it. If you ever wanted to explore the righteous blending of grace and power, this is a perfect moment. Give yourself permission to be a ﬂ uid bolt of ingenious fun, Taurus. Play hard and sweet, with sublime ferocity. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “Make the invisible dark force beautiful.” That was the ﬁ rst line of the horoscope I wrote for you in my dream last night. Here’s what came next: “Create a song out of your moans. Brag about your wounds. Dance reverently on the graves of your enemies.” Does any of this make sense to you so far? It all seemed perfectly reasonable and helpful in my dream. “Sneak a gift to your bad self. Dissolve the ties that bind you to hollow intelligence. Seek the angel near the funky gulley that winds through no man’s land. Dig for treasure in the muddy puddle where the single lily grows.” That’s it, Gemini -- my dream of your horoscope. If you can align yourself with its spirit, I bet you’ll be primed for the waking-life opportunities that are headed your way. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Writing in the Journal of Medical Ethics, psychologist Richard Bentall proposed that happiness be reclassiﬁ ed as a “psychiatric disorder” — a pathology that should be treated with therapy. “Happiness is statistically abnormal,” he argued. It “consists of a discrete cluster of symptoms, is associated with a range of cognitive abnormalities, and probably reﬂ ects the abnormal functioning of the central nervous system.” If he’s correct, Cancerian, you may have a problem. According to my reading of the astrologi- cal omens, you’re about to be besieged by a massive inﬂ ux of good feelings. It may be hard for you to fend off surges of unreasonable joy, well-being, and gratitude. So let me ask you: Are you prepared to enter into rebel mode as you ﬂ aunt your abnormal bliss? 42 MAY 5, 2011 EUGENE WEEKLY THAT’S MY CUPCAKE! I love going to the movies, going out for dinner and drinks. Going to baseball games. I enjoy paint- ing, reading a good book or just listening to some good music. VintageLakeHouse, 26, g , #106088 BACK OF HOUSE U..cook/wetlands. Me...some- times near sometimes far.. U.. truly the prettiest of them all.. Me..can’t wait...SINGLE..choose me.. U.. innocent? Me..know better!(shhhh..iwonttell) U..artist arms and black birds... Me...... kiss again my love?... When: Thursday, April 14, 2011. Where: wetlands. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902080 LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Two British men, Jack Jones and Chris Cud- dihy, pulled off an epic deed in 2009. They ran seven marathons in seven consecutive days on seven continents. Each marathon was over 31 miles. (More info here: 7in7on7.com.) I’m not recommending that you try something as ridiculously excessive as they did, Leo, but I do want to note that you’re now in a phase when your capacity for amaz- ing feats is bigger than usual. Do you have any ideas about what you could accomplish that’s beyond your expectations? VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): What have you had to relinquish in the past 10 months, Virgo? What were you forced to sacriﬁ ce or surrender? Whatever it is, I predict you will be compensated for it over the course of the next 12 months. And the process begins soon. It’s not likely that the incoming blessing will bring an exact replace- ment for the dream that got away. Rather, you will be awakened to an unexpected new source of excitement, thereby dissolving the lingering sense of loss and liberating you to rise again. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If given the choice between having our lives change or keeping our lives the same, many of us would choose the status quo. We tend to feel that even if the current state of things is uncomfortable, it’s still preferable to having to deal with the uncer- tainty and fear that come from transformation. But I don’t think you ﬁ t this description right now, Libra. Of all the signs of the zodiac, you’re the one that’s most receptive to shifting the mood and experimenting with the rules. It’s easier than usual for you to imagine different ways of doing things. Take advantage of this superpower. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Hugo Chavez is the socialist president of Venezuela, not an astronomer or New Age philosopher. And yet he recently speculated that the planet Mars once had a thriving civiliza- tion that met its doom because its resources were drained off and poisoned by the excesses of capitalism. I love it when notable people go off-message and freestyle wacky fantasies, so I applaud Chavez’s improvisation. May I respectfully suggest you consider indulging in your own version of this art form? According to my reading of the astrological omens, it would be downright healthy for you to depart from your usual raps and unveil some unpredictable self-expressions to anyone and everyone who think they have you all ﬁ gured out. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Symmetry and equilibrium are not all that valuable right now. They’re certainly not worth obsess- ing over or having screaming ﬁ ghts about. In fact, I recommend that you cultivate a jaunty knack for stylish lopsidedness. Appreciate the beauty of irregularity. Be alert for the way incongruous details and crooked angles reveal fresh, hot truths that provide you with exactly what you need. Even so-called ﬂ aws and mistakes may lead to lucky accidents. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “It was better for me when I could imagine greatness in others, even if it wasn’t always there,” said Charles Bukowski, a generally cranky writer not renowned for his optimism. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, this strategy will also work wonders for you in the coming days. Trying to see what’s great about other people will tend to activate your own dormant greatness, and will just generally make you feel good. So ask yourself: What’s beautiful, smart, interesting, and successful about the people you know? Fantasize aggressively. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The income gap between the richest and poorest sections of society has always been large, but in recent years it has grown absurdly, grotesquely humongous. As journalist Les Leopold notes (bit.ly/RichEatPoor), there are hedge- fund gamblers who rake in more money in an hour than a middle-class wage-earner makes in 47 years. From an astrological perspective, Aquarius, it’s an excellent time for you to raise your voice against this inequity. Furthermore, you’d be wise to dramatically shrink the discrepancy between the haves and have-nots in your own personal sphere, where you can actually have an immediate effect. You might start the healing by asking yourself how the rich aspects of your psyche steal from the poor parts. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): There’s a good chance you will soon utter the smartest words you have ever said in your life. It’s also possible that you will generate two of the top ﬁ ve thoughts that have popped into your brain in the last decade. That’s how in tune I expect you to be with your inner sources of wisdom. And that’s how closely aligned you’ll be with the Divine Intelligence formerly known as God. Now here’s the surprise ending to my message for you, Pisces — the unexpected outcome: Your brilliant insights and cogent statements may tempt you to be wilder and freer than you’ve been in a long time. HOMEWORK: If you had a little baby clone of yourself to take care of, what would be your child-rearing strategy? Tell me at Freewil- lastrology.com. Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny's EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700. WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM • BLOGS.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM