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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (March 17, 2011)
HOTTEST NEW NIGHTCLUB IN TOWN Tasty Food and Great Times! Largest dance floor no cover for students or military LADIES ALWAYS FREE $1 beers & $2 Wells 13 TV’s Pool, Lottery Texas Hold’em dance to top 40 Thurs-Sat karaoke tournament Breakfast Everyday Daily Lunch Specials Homemade Soups tues - wed 8pm $500 cash prize THE ROK Heated Outdoor Patio Thursday Blues Jam NIGHTCLUB & SPORTSBAR 770 S. BERTELSEN 541-342-5028 FREE PARKING IN THE OVERPARK DOWNTOWN OPEN AT 11AM MONDAY - SATURDAY WWW.OVERTIMEGRILL.BIZ 44 east 7th ave. • eugene 344-1293 • look for the rok on facebook Ah, pickup lines. It’s not what you say; it’s all in the delivery and the follow up. I was sipping a drink at Jameson’s one night, watching the hipsters shoot pool, and one fellow turned to me, handed me his cue, bowed gallantly and offered to let me take his shot. Great pick up; I was intrigued. Unfortunately, after I sank a couple balls, he said in surprise, “Oh! I didn’t think you could actually play.” Ouch. If you can’t come up with a brilliant line (“Fuck me if I’m wrong, but I think I’d like to kiss you” — funny, but not brilliant) then go with a classic. The nice man at the KLCC Brew Fest made major points when he saw me sitting alone, and asked, “Is this seat taken?” ‘It’s a good thing I brought my library card, because I want to check you out.’ He then lost the points when he asked what I did for a living and I said I wrote for the Weekly. He said the paper’s politics annoyed him and he only read the back pages. I’m not sure what was worse — that he said this in front of a reporter from The Register-Guard, who cracked up, or that he just basically told me he pretty much only reads “Savage Love” and the personal ads. Ummm, I don’t write the personal ads, but I do write some of that politics stuff. (Heck, we don’t even edit the personals. EW’s policy is that if you can’t use spellcheck, then the unsuspecting single folks of the world should know that from the beginning). He didn’t notice the faux pas and I didn’t follow up on his offer for a date. 4 Good The Wandering Goat L 268 Madison St. e N at What not to do: Ask a woman about herself and then disrespect it. Instead, make her feel fascinating. (She is fascinating, right? That’s why you’re trying to pick her up.) If you make a faux pas, laugh and apologize. If you say sorry, and she’s feeling what you’re feeling, then she’ll just think it will make a funny story later, when you guys are making speeches at the wedding. (If the word wedding makes you nervous, then stick with catch-and-release dating for now. I’ll save advice on how to gracefully not date a woman whom you had a one night stand with for a future issue.). Cheesy works for pickup lines, but only if you’re able to convey that you know you’re cheesy and make cheesy endearing. This is not easy to do, especially after a Reasons to come to Soriah few beers. Saying, “Hey baby, what’s your sign” with an ironic tone is a bit of a risk. You might not sound ironic; you might just sound like someone who thought the ’70s were awesome. Personally, if you’re going with cheesy, my favorite is the geek gold standard: Flash your up-to-date Eugene Public Library card and say, “It’s a good thing I brought my library card, because I want to check you out.” My reaction: Swoon. Not only is he funny, but when he’s sober, apparently he can read! Or you may just want to stick with walking up behind unsuspecting females like a hunter stalking his prey and take a leap. It works for William. ■ A Great Food - Best Drinks A Happy Hour A Late Night Menu A Wednesday Wine Night soriah.com | 384 W. 13th Ave. | 342-4410 i gh t Open m-w ‘till 11pm th-sa ‘till 12am sun ‘till 10pm BEER&WINE COFFEE LIVE MUSIC 4 SWIZZLE March 17, 2011 www.eugeneweekly.com
