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KINK Eugene Weekly’s New Alternative Dating Site • Browse local postings • Post your own profi le • Connect with local singles Respond to a Kink ad. Visit wink-kink.com and enter the ad ID Ads with a ☎ have Voice Mail Messages call 1-520-547-3020 (Charges may apply) SWEET SUBMISSIVE SENSUALIST I am a gyspsygoddessdancer with a penchant for the moon. I am looking for a lovely lady to share in some of my favorite things, talking, dancing, kissing, petting, spanking...mmmpurrrr. g , Lemissa, 34, #104069 PLEADINGPROSY Hi. pleadingprosy, 22, g , #104073 SEMI-EXPERIENCED SUBMISSIVE New to the Eugene area and looking for fun. I love bondage, age play, role plays and more! Looking forward to hearing from you. raerae, 20, #104051 SUBMISSIVE SEXTOY LOOK- ING..... for a GENEROUS gentleman to please in every way. Let me be your naughty secret...discreet, eager to please the right gener- ous gentleman-could it be you?? aquabluegirl, 46, #103756 TRYING NEW THINGS haven’t tried a lot but am willing to learn. open to most things. just want clean fun that gets a little dirty at times. See where it all leads to!! cheesebrat, 24, g , #103326 I WANT PLEASURE SPANKING BUDDIES WANTED I’m bored & tired of this vanilla world. I like 2 get what I want & please others. Live life to the full extent of what you imagine & what you want. DESIRE, 25, g , #101108 Wanted 18-45 hwp to go otk and/ or trade. Erotic or rough if you’re a bad boy who needs dis- cipline. Limits respected. Discretion a must. I’ll travel if you host. Oral? Squirt, 40, #104068 TRY BI GUY Well-adjusted 52 y/o top looking to meet guys and couples in Eugene for NSA fun. First timers welcome, couples encouraged. I love clean sex. 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Also a total politics nerd and a vegan. fallenstar, 19, g , #104055 Regular guy/artist in real life, likes dominate rough with sub- missive ladies, must be over 21, any age or race. Would really like to be with 2 ladies at once. clip- inpics, 36, g , #104188 HEY THERE im bored and ready to mingle! arelijonas, 28, #104177 SEXY PLAYMATE FUN SIZE! 24 5’2 around 95lbs. Seeking a woman who is around my age, I dont really have a prefernce on body type. I want a girl who can be herself! Akira, 24, g , #104214 Hi, My guy and I, are looking for a lucious female for plaything. and/or video girl-on-girl pleasure as well.Into Hot sexy, and sassy.O ral,Teasing,roleplay,experiment open. maybe2day, 35, #103666 LETS TRADE! We are an attractive and explor- ative couple who is intested in trading spouses with another, attractive couple. Are you look- ing to do something crazy and fun without risking your mar- riage? 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A lot to ask for? Of course. maxd, 39, #103934 WAITING&WANTING HELLO im 19 from eugene i go to the UO im horny im a virgin looking to fuck. oregonduck19, 20, #104155 We are a younger couple in our mid twenties that have recently began toying with the idea of playing with a woman. We are very excited but also very new. two_ofa_kind, 28, #104023 WINK-KINK.COM $PPQFS % & 4 * ( / 1 ) 0 5 0 ( 3 " 1 ) : FNBJMUPEE!FVHFOFXFFLMZDPN PSDBMM YOUR AD HERE for as little as $38 per week call Jayme or Geneva 484-0519 SATISFY YOUR FANTASIES! NUDE DANCER HOURS AUDITIONS DAILY CALL NOON TO 517-7196 2:15 AM NO COVER MON/WED $15 TABLE DANCES NO COVER 1836 S. A Street • Springfield • 762-1503 WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM • BLOGS.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM Savage Love WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage My partner and I have a dilemma. We’re a straight couple. Our lives and fi nances are intertwined, and we are already es- sentially living as a married couple. Now we want to hold a ceremony with family and friends to make public the commitment we’ve already made privately. That said, we are in favor of marriage equality and are considering joining the marriage boycott (www.unmarried.org) until DOMA is repealed and every state allows gay marriage. Our friends and family say we should get married and fi ght for equality “from the other side of the fence.” On the other hand, a number of the people in attendance at our wedding would not have access to the rights we’d be signing up for, and that feels unfair to us. We’d like to know what you think. Is boycotting legal marriage a worthwhile statement for straight couples to make? Or do you think we should put gay-rights groups on our registry and fi ght for marriage equality as a married couple? Hoping To Render Change Funny you should ask, HTRC, as last weekend the boyfriend-in-America/husband-in-Can- ada and I attended the wedding of some dear straight friends. We weren’t the only same-sex couple at the wedding; there were “a number of people in attendance [without] access to the rights” our straight friends were signing up for. All us homos at the wedding were delighted to be there and deliriously happy for our friends, and not one of us would’ve asked them to wait to marry until gay marriage is legal in all 50 states — something that isn’t going to happen until 2024 at the earliest, according to number-crunchin’ superstar political blogger Nate Silver (tinyurl.com/cn58xy). That’s when Silver predicts that the fi nal holdout — Mississippi — will fi nally legalize same-sex marriage. Here’s what I think you should do, HTRC: Get married, make a donation to the fi ght for marriage equality and encourage your guests to do the same. And, hey, are you guys getting married in the next four weeks? Because there’s a ballot measure in Maine that would strip same-sex couples in that state of their newly won right to wed. Help protect marriage equality in Maine by making a donation — right now — at www.protectmaineequality.org. And religious bigots in Washington State, where I live, are attempting to repeal a domestic-partnership law at the ballot box. Protect the rights of same-sex couples in Washington by making a donation — right now — at www.approvereferendum71.org. And in addition to throwing some money around, HTRC, I think you should consider lifting one of the readings from my friends’ ceremony. “Marriage is a vital social institution,” the reading began. “The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support. Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fi delity, and family. Because it fulfi lls yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life’s momen- tous acts of self-defi nition.” So touching, so true and so universal — who could argue with those sentiments? Everyone at the wedding was nodding. And the reading continued … “It is undoubtedly for these concrete reasons, as well as for its intimately personal signifi - cance, that civil marriage has long been termed a ‘civil right.’ Without the right to choose to marry, one is excluded from the full range of human experience.” After the reading — which was done by a gay friend of the couple — the offi ciant identifi ed the source: It was from the 2003 Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court decision that legal- ized same-sex marriage in that state. It was a lovely gesture: The gay couples at the wedding were touched, and the hetero couples were reminded of the injustice that gay couples face. It would be wonderful if this passage from the Massachusetts court’s ruling on marriage equality caught on as a wedding reading, HTRC. The gay people in the pews will be touched, and with any luck, any straight guests who oppose marriage equality will take a moment to reconsider their positions. At the very least, they’ll know where the bride and groom stand. I’m a high-school student, gay, but whenever someone asks me, I lie and say I’m not. I feel like I’m ashamed of who I am and that I’m dishonoring every openly gay person. But I don’t know what else to do. Most of the other students at my school use the words “gay” and “fag- got” in a derogatory way. I’ve only been in high school for four weeks, and I’m not sure how they would react. What should I do? Should I come out? Gay Boy Seeking Serious Help “I’m a big fan of telling people what to do (just ask my poor boyfriend), but coming out is a deeply personal decision, one you’re going to have to negotiate yourself,” says Benoit Denizet- Lewis, who wrote a cover story for the New York Times Magazine about gay kids coming out in middle school. “With that said, here’s what you should do. First, the fact that you’re worrying about ‘dis- honoring every gay person’ speaks volumes about your character and tells me that you have a heart and a conscience, both of which will serve you well in your life as an openly gay man. Second, consider coming out fi rst to an adult you trust (a school counselor, your gay uncle). Third, try to come out to one friend, preferably one who loves the show Glee. Having a peer ally is critical to your mental health. Finally, when you do come out to your parents, just be sure you’re not in a moving vehicle.” Denizet-Lewis’s fi rst book, America Anonymous, is out now, and it’s pretty genius. But for the record: I do not love the show Glee. Greetings from Portland, Oregon. Our fair city is totally overfl owing with cute, young, scruffy boys. Which is awesome, of course, for gay guys like me. The only problem is, it seems like a disproportionate number of these boys are, well, boys without dicks — trans guys. Seems like every dance party, every art-fag event, is packed with non-bio boys. But where are all the trans girls? None of my lesbo friends talk about all the new trans girls running around town. I know that this could strictly be region-specifi c, but it seems to be a bigger issue. Why is it that the butch girls all seem to become dudes, yet so few of the femme boys identify as women? GGG In PDX I’m just theorizing here: There seem to be fewer MTFs out there than FTMs, and the MTFs who are out there mostly seem to have been straight-identifi ed before their transitions (they were with women), unlike most FTMs, who seem, for the most part, to have been lesbian- identifi ed before their transitions. So MTFs weren’t integrated into the queer community prior to their transitions the same way FTMs were before theirs. Confused? Me too. So MTFs are less likely to frequent places — bars, clubs, art-fag events — where you, a gay guy, might encounter them. As for why there are so many trans guys in Portland, GGGIPDX, trans guys clump up for the same reasons other sexual minorities do. It’s not just about safety in numbers — although it’s partly that — but also about the romantic odds. The more trans guys in one place, the more trans guys there are to date; and the more trans guys in one place, the likelier non-trans guys and girls are to meet, get to know and perhaps consider dating trans guys. Download the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage mail@savagelove.net EUGENE WEEKLY OCTOBER 8, 2009 39
