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KINK Eugene Weekly’s New Alternative Dating Site • Browse local postings • Post your own profi le • Connect with local singles SUBMISSIVE SEXTOY LOOKING..... for a GENEROUS gentleman to please in every way. Let me be your naughty secret...discreet, eager to please the right gener- ous gentleman-could it be you?? aquabluegirl, 46, #103756 Respond to a Kink ad. Visit wink-kink.com and enter the ad ID Ads with a ☎ have Voice Mail Messages call 1-520-547-3020 (Charges may apply) BODY IS TEMPLE WANT YOU WET LETS HAVE FUN!!! Inexperienced bi-curious, in love with life and its possibilities. Absent husband encourages playmates. Love dancing, good food, wine, and herb, hours of skin on skin. Fit, youthful, lovely, seek same. highpriestess, 39, g , #103860 Single, nice arms-ass-and eyes. I’m fun, experienced, versatile. I’m looking to find a woman 18-45 who wants to explore. Must be oral. Longhair turns me on, and a sexy ass. Fleshfriction, 38, g , #103987 im looking for guys dolls or cou- ples that want some spice in theyre life. i like bbws and cock. im looking for sex cause i cant get enough of it. skywalk- er420, 25, g , #103792 KINKY BONDAGE PLAY LOOKN’ TO LOOK. I’m a very laid back guy looking for fun friends to play with. If your into kinky fun, take a look. Cypher, 24, g , #103984 what I haven’t tried, I will. are you knotty, lets chat. farmers daughter, tell me about it. g , BadDaddy, 50, #103755 Just thought we would take a peek and see who is looking too. rusumsexy4us, 37, g , #103774 TRYING NEW THINGS haven’t tried a lot but am willing to learn. open to most things. just want clean fun that gets a little dirty at times. See where it all leads to!! cheesebrat, 24, g , #103326 RED HOT KITTY red hot kitty looking for a big black panther to play got a itch? let me scratch it for you. red- g , hotkitty, 50, #103228 SHY SEX KITTEN i’m new to this, still kinda shy sadly vanilla but deff want to shake it up and try new things... just looking for a fun play mate. g , ANALEE, 20, #103176 ALLUREKITTY The next phase in my life......... g , Allurekat, 45, #102675 EPITOME OF SATISFACTION SENIOR LOVER Looking for a woman to try new things with. Very open minded. I’ll be your slave or you could be mine. funguy000, 33, #103966 Always attracted to older indi- viduals. I am a pleasant bi-guy looking to expand his circle of friends for NSA fun. No harm in seeing if we click. oboy97403, 52, g , #103641 SENSUAL STRANGER Secure, fun, kinky women/cou- ples need look no further for a fantastically intimate encounter with an equally secure, d/d free, open-minded guy. What’s your fantasy? I can help. SensualStranger, 28, g , #101593 SOMETHING NEW I am a good looking female, look- ing to try this with another female, or a male and female couple. Nothing to extreme, would like to start out slow. Jackson, 33, #103947 SEXO’LICIOUS...AND DELICIOUS! Hi, My guy and I, are looking for a lucious female for plaything. and/or video girl-on-girl pleasure as well.Into Hot sexy, and sassy.O ral,Teasing,roleplay,experiment open. maybe2day, 35, #103666 GIRL IN TRAINING I am looking for a girl to show me the ropes. I am desperately wanting to have a girl on girl encounter. I have never been,and want to badly. Yummy, 25, #103155 I WANT PLEASURE I’m bored & tired of this vanilla world. I like 2 get what I want & please others. Live life to the full extent of what you imagine & what you want. DESIRE, 25, g , #101108 SEX WITH WOMEN KINKY BAD DADDY I’m looking for no drama interac- tions with women only. I just want to explore and bring plea- sure to an attractive woman close to my age. newbiemc- gee, 24, g , #103988 TRY BI GUY Well-adjusted 52 y/o top looking to meet guys and couples in Eugene for NSA fun. First timers welcome, couples encouraged. I love clean sex. Lets see what comes up! rustedduck, 52, ☎, g , #103971 BI-MAN SEEKS FIST Bi man, very oral and anal, seeks biM/F couples, women, men for rimming, fisting, more. bivia- tor, 59, #101544 CURIOUS NEEDS EXPERIENCE SOOO-BI COUPLE I’m new to it all kink, but I really want to experience. I prefer any- one under 30, the rest doesn’t matter, just be patient. Dabble, 19, g , #103664 good looking married couple 30 very clean bi-pleasures. 5ft. red hair,fat jessica rabbit 6ft. rock star looking 4 bi couples,trannys,t- girls,bi guys on weekends.no stds weight,ht. and race dose not matter. biplsurecple, 30, g , #104001 FIRST TIME FIRST TIME Ready for the 1st time. Im a bot- tom. Discreet. im handsome 18-48. timber, 30, #103352 PARTNERS AT PLAY We are a 27yo hetero guy and 26yo bi gal couple looking to try something new and casual. We both share a love for smart, funny and femme women. deb- shwin, 27, #103968 BI SEEKS SAME Seeking bi woman who is in LTR with a man. Happily married, hubby encourages my need for a girlfriend. Want LTR friendship and lover, femme, looking for “out” sexy woman. Kimberlish, 41, ☎, g , #103927 I LOVE BOOBS! Looking for a woman to have fun with, in and out of the sexual arena. I think it’s important to make platonic connections before you can make sexual con- nections... bonnyluvsboo- bies, 35, g , #103867 YOUNG EAGER COUPLE Looking for excitement. 3some partner..19-25 cute and sexy average size or smaller. Have sex with both of us. We are young and cute and looking for a spe- cial friend. RainbowMomma, 22, #103949 WORLD TRAVELER I am looking for a girl who is looking for some descreet sex. This person must not care too much what I look like or the size of my penis. smokinjoe, 22, g , #103997 REDHOTJOCK lookin for some fun with no strings attached. lookinforit, 26, ☎, #103993 $PPQFS % & 4 * ( / 1 ) 0 5 0 ( 3 " 1 ) : FNBJMUPEE!FVHFOFXFFLMZDPN PSDBMM CAPTURING EROTIC YOU I love photographing erotica. I’m in search of others who want to create personal art pieces or just to express themselves and have it captured in a beautiful way. g , Oneclick, 62, #103994 WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage Do you think post-op transgender people have any obligation to tell their lovers they were once the other sex? On The Fence Yes. I’m in my 40s and straight. My wife of nine years is no longer interested in sex. Period. She relents every few weeks, but it’s never enjoyable for either of us. As a result, I haven’t had a blowjob in about eight years, I can’t touch her beautiful tits, kissing is without tongue, and our rare sex is missionary and in the dark. I’m miserable. I believe she’s depressed. She refuses to get help, saying that if only I would do this or that, she would be more willing. But I do this and that, and she’s still not interested. After a lot of talking, she suggested that I fi nd a girlfriend for sex. However, she set conditions that were unrealistic: She wanted to meet and approve of her before I slept with her; and I could only see this other person late at night, with the wife’s permission, which would only be granted after ALL other family obligations were satisfi ed (kids in bed, bills paid, trash taken out, etc.). I preferred a “don’t ask, don’t tell” approach. She then withdrew the idea entirely. I proceeded to meet and sleep with several different women anyway, and I am now seeing one regularly. Sex is enjoyable again. My question: I know that people would say I am cheating on my wife, but am I wrong to feel just as cheated by her? Need Some Answers No. You are a terrible person who shouldn’t be allowed to give advice to anyone about any- thing. Whose idea was it to give an asshole faggot like you an advice column, anyway? You’re a stupid piece of shit who doesn’t know anything about sex or the human heart, and you will regret everything you’ve ever done and every word you’ve ever written once you die and have to stand before your Creator. God Hates You Maybe so. Bi-curious male, clean, fit, seeks beautiful boy for first time encounter. I want to adore your smooth, lean body. A lot to ask for? Of course. maxd, 38, g , #103934 im 19.....just trying to have a good time. cali721, 20, g , #103559 Savage Love SEXKITTEN AND TOMCAT Happy couple wanting to explore. Seeking Female for NSA sex and possible friendship. MischiefMonster, 33, g , #103863 YOUR AD HERE for as little as $38 per week call Jayme or Geneva 484-0519 SATISFY YOUR FANTASIES! NUDE DANCER HOURS AUDITIONS DAILY CALL NOON TO 517-7196 2:15 AM NO COVER MON/WED $15 TABLE DANCES NO COVER A couple months ago, I sent you an email thanking you for doing what you do. Today, the power of your voice hit home. As you know, an angry, sexually frustrated gunman went on a killing spree at a fi tness center in Pittsburgh. Reading the killer’s blog, I was struck by the similarity of his situation to that of the lonely, sexually frustrated men you counseled in your column the week before the shooting. Of course the similarity between the shooter and your correspondents ends there: George Sodini did not reach out; the men who wrote you did. The reason this strikes so close to home is that my situation for years was very similar to Sodini’s and to the lonely men who you helped in that column. Although I wasn’t a virgin, I was “clogged up” and unable to get close to people physically and emotionally. I overcame my fears and hang-ups, and life is good now. But it wasn’t easy. I was never as angry as the man who shot up the fi tness center, but I was absolutely as lonely and isolated as he was and every bit as lonely as the men whose letters you answered. Maybe if I’d been alone another 14 years — I found my life partner at 34 — I might have become that angry. Middle-Aged Family Guy Thank you for the note, MAFG, and thanks — I think — for pointing me to George Sodini’s blog. The blog has been pulled down, but it is extensively quoted in news reports and it makes for depressing reading. It’s never pretty when chronic sexual deprivation and a lifetime of ro- mantic rejection slam into a narcissistic personality with sociopathic tendencies who happens to live in a country awash in guns: “I actually look good. I dress good, am clean-shaven, bathe, touch of cologne — yet 30 mil- lion women rejected me, over an 18- or 25-year period. That is how I see it. Thirty million is my rough guesstimate of how many desirable single women there are.” So, hey, why not go shoot up an aerobics class full of women? A woman I knew at college — an antiviolence activist, righteous and right-on — used to say, “Testosterone is gasoline, porn the match.” I disagree. Testosterone is gasoline — which isn’t necessarily a bad thing (gas makes things go) — but sexual frustration is the match. I’m not suggesting that this tragedy could’ve been averted if only some selfl ess woman had “taken one for the team” and married Sodini, an asshole and a sociopath. The women who rejected him obviously saw him for what he was and were right to run in the other direction. But if someone had told Sodini, who hadn’t had sex since 1990, to see sex workers — some- thing I advised the guys in my column two weeks ago to consider (among other things) — it might have taken the edge off his anger and kept it from curdling into homicidal rage. Maybe if we, as a society, valued sex workers and sex work, if we legalized and regulated it, and if we viewed “paying for it” as a legitimate option for guys who would otherwise go without for decades, perhaps this tragedy could have been averted. Don’t get me wrong: I wouldn’t wish a client as sick as Sodini on any of my sex-worker pals. But if Sodini had started seeing sex workers back in 1991 and not, say, two weeks ago last Monday, perhaps he wouldn’t have snapped. But Sodini wasn’t taking advice from me. He was getting it from R. Don Steele, author of How to Date Young Women: For Men Over 35. The book was sitting on Sodini’s coffee table in a video he posted to the web. Steele apparently traffi cs in — and profi ts from — instilling false hopes in losers like Sodini. (“Immediately improve your success with women!” Steele says on his website www.steelballs.com “Everything is 100% guaranteed money back.”) Sodini felt that he was entitled not just to sex and a romantic relationship, but to sex and a romantic relationship with a much younger woman. And he was following the advice of a love-and-romance guru who encouraged him to cling to that belief. Not normally a problem, I suppose. But Sodini wasn’t just another socially maladapted schlub furious with the world — and with women — for denying him the twentysomething ass he felt he had coming. Sodini was a nut. And he couldn’t understand why, if he was doing everything right, he wasn’t fi nding the success that Steele guaranteed him. Someone needed to sit Sodini down and explain that settling down requires settling for and that young women are usually interested in young men and that we can’t always have what we want and that there might be women out there who would date him — perhaps women closer to his own age, women in his own league in the looks and social skills departments (and Sodini wasn’t bad looking) — but no woman was going to date him until after he got his shit together. And someone needed to tell him that he wasn’t going to impress the ladies by leaving How to Date Young Women: For Men Over 35 on his coffee table. And someone needed to tell him that some men — and some women — are alone all their lives and, yeah, that sucks and it’s not fair and it hurts. Instead, Sodini had R. Don “Steel Balls” Steele telling him that if he just bought a matching sofa set — really — and the right suit, that success was guaranteed. Download the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage mail@savagelove.net 1836 S. A Street • Springfield • 762-1503 WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM • BLOGS.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM EUGENE WEEKLY AUGUST 13, 2009 35
