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SUBMISSIVE SEXTOY
LOOKING.....
for a GENEROUS gentleman to
please in every way. Let me be
your naughty secret...discreet,
eager to please the right gener-
ous gentleman-could it be you??
aquabluegirl,
46,
#103756
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BODY IS TEMPLE
WANT YOU WET
LETS HAVE FUN!!!
Inexperienced bi-curious, in love
with life and its possibilities.
Absent husband encourages
playmates. Love dancing, good
food, wine, and herb, hours of
skin on skin. Fit, youthful, lovely,
seek same. highpriestess,
39, g , #103860
Single, nice arms-ass-and eyes.
I’m fun, experienced, versatile.
I’m looking to find a woman
18-45 who wants to explore. Must
be oral. Longhair turns me on,
and a sexy ass. Fleshfriction,
38, g , #103987
im looking for guys dolls or cou-
ples that want some spice in
theyre life. i like bbws and cock.
im looking for sex cause i cant
get enough of it. skywalk-
er420, 25, g , #103792
KINKY BONDAGE PLAY
LOOKN’ TO LOOK.
I’m a very laid back guy looking
for fun friends to play with. If
your into kinky fun, take a look.
Cypher, 24, g , #103984
what I haven’t tried, I will. are
you knotty, lets chat. farmers
daughter, tell me about it.
g ,
BadDaddy,
50,
#103755
Just thought we would take a
peek and see who is looking too.
rusumsexy4us, 37, g ,
#103774
TRYING NEW THINGS
haven’t tried a lot but am willing
to learn. open to most things.
just want clean fun that gets a
little dirty at times. See where it
all leads to!! cheesebrat, 24,
g , #103326
RED HOT KITTY
red hot kitty looking for a big
black panther to play got a itch?
let me scratch it for you. red-
g ,
hotkitty,
50,
#103228
SHY SEX KITTEN
i’m new to this, still kinda shy
sadly vanilla but deff want to
shake it up and try new things...
just looking for a fun play mate.
g ,
ANALEE,
20,
#103176
ALLUREKITTY
The next phase in my life.........
g ,
Allurekat,
45,
#102675
EPITOME OF SATISFACTION
SENIOR LOVER
Looking for a woman to try new
things with. Very open minded.
I’ll be your slave or you could be
mine. funguy000, 33,
#103966
Always attracted to older indi-
viduals. I am a pleasant bi-guy
looking to expand his circle of
friends for NSA fun. No harm in
seeing if we click. oboy97403,
52, g , #103641
SENSUAL STRANGER
Secure, fun, kinky women/cou-
ples need look no further for a
fantastically intimate encounter
with an equally secure, d/d free,
open-minded guy. What’s your
fantasy?
I can help.
SensualStranger, 28, g ,
#101593
SOMETHING NEW
I am a good looking female, look-
ing to try this with another
female, or a male and female
couple. Nothing to extreme,
would like to start out slow.
Jackson, 33, #103947
SEXO’LICIOUS...AND
DELICIOUS!
Hi, My guy and I, are looking for
a lucious female for plaything.
and/or video girl-on-girl pleasure
as well.Into Hot sexy, and sassy.O
ral,Teasing,roleplay,experiment
open. maybe2day, 35,
#103666
GIRL IN TRAINING
I am looking for a girl to show me
the ropes. I am desperately
wanting to have a girl on girl
encounter. I have never been,and
want to badly. Yummy, 25,
#103155
I WANT PLEASURE
I’m bored & tired of this vanilla
world. I like 2 get what I want &
please others. Live life to the full
extent of what you imagine &
what you want. DESIRE, 25,
g , #101108
SEX WITH WOMEN
KINKY BAD DADDY
I’m looking for no drama interac-
tions with women only. I just
want to explore and bring plea-
sure to an attractive woman
close to my age. newbiemc-
gee, 24, g , #103988
TRY BI GUY
Well-adjusted 52 y/o top looking
to meet guys and couples in
Eugene for NSA fun. First timers
welcome, couples encouraged. I
love clean sex. Lets see what
comes up! rustedduck, 52, ☎,
g , #103971
BI-MAN SEEKS FIST
Bi man, very oral and anal, seeks
biM/F couples, women, men for
rimming, fisting, more. bivia-
tor, 59, #101544
CURIOUS
NEEDS EXPERIENCE
SOOO-BI COUPLE
I’m new to it all kink, but I really
want to experience. I prefer any-
one under 30, the rest doesn’t
matter, just be patient. Dabble,
19, g , #103664
good looking married couple 30
very clean bi-pleasures. 5ft. red
hair,fat jessica rabbit 6ft. rock
star looking 4 bi couples,trannys,t-
girls,bi guys on weekends.no
stds weight,ht. and race dose not
matter. biplsurecple, 30, g ,
#104001
FIRST TIME
FIRST TIME
Ready for the 1st time. Im a bot-
tom. Discreet. im handsome
18-48. timber, 30, #103352
PARTNERS AT PLAY
We are a 27yo hetero guy and
26yo bi gal couple looking to try
something new and casual. We
both share a love for smart,
funny and femme women. deb-
shwin, 27, #103968
BI SEEKS SAME
Seeking bi woman who is in LTR
with a man. Happily married,
hubby encourages my need for
a girlfriend. Want LTR friendship
and lover, femme, looking for
“out” sexy woman. Kimberlish,
41, ☎, g , #103927
I LOVE BOOBS!
Looking for a woman to have fun
with, in and out of the sexual
arena. I think it’s important to
make platonic connections
before you can make sexual con-
nections... bonnyluvsboo-
bies, 35, g , #103867
YOUNG EAGER COUPLE
Looking for excitement. 3some
partner..19-25 cute and sexy
average size or smaller. Have sex
with both of us. We are young
and cute and looking for a spe-
cial friend. RainbowMomma,
22, #103949
WORLD TRAVELER
I am looking for a girl who is
looking for some descreet sex.
This person must not care too
much what I look like or the size
of my penis. smokinjoe, 22,
g , #103997
REDHOTJOCK
lookin for some fun with no
strings attached. lookinforit,
26, ☎, #103993
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CAPTURING EROTIC YOU
I love photographing erotica. I’m
in search of others who want to
create personal art pieces or just
to express themselves and have
it captured in a beautiful way.
g ,
Oneclick,
62,
#103994
WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage
Do you think post-op transgender people have any obligation to tell their lovers they were
once the other sex?
On The Fence
Yes.
I’m in my 40s and straight. My wife of nine years is no longer interested in sex. Period. She
relents every few weeks, but it’s never enjoyable for either of us. As a result, I haven’t had a
blowjob in about eight years, I can’t touch her beautiful tits, kissing is without tongue, and our
rare sex is missionary and in the dark. I’m miserable.
I believe she’s depressed. She refuses to get help, saying that if only I would do this or that,
she would be more willing. But I do this and that, and she’s still not interested. After a lot of
talking, she suggested that I fi nd a girlfriend for sex. However, she set conditions that were
unrealistic: She wanted to meet and approve of her before I slept with her; and I could only
see this other person late at night, with the wife’s permission, which would only be granted
after ALL other family obligations were satisfi ed (kids in bed, bills paid, trash taken out, etc.). I
preferred a “don’t ask, don’t tell” approach. She then withdrew the idea entirely. I proceeded to
meet and sleep with several different women anyway, and I am now seeing one regularly. Sex is
enjoyable again.
My question: I know that people would say I am cheating on my wife, but am I wrong to feel
just as cheated by her?
Need Some Answers
No.
You are a terrible person who shouldn’t be allowed to give advice to anyone about any-
thing. Whose idea was it to give an asshole faggot like you an advice column, anyway? You’re
a stupid piece of shit who doesn’t know anything about sex or the human heart, and you will
regret everything you’ve ever done and every word you’ve ever written once you die and have
to stand before your Creator.
God Hates You
Maybe so.
Bi-curious male, clean, fit, seeks
beautiful boy for first time
encounter. I want to adore your
smooth, lean body. A lot to ask
for? Of course. maxd, 38, g ,
#103934
im 19.....just trying to have a good
time. cali721, 20, g ,
#103559
Savage Love
SEXKITTEN AND TOMCAT
Happy couple wanting to explore.
Seeking Female for NSA sex and
possible
friendship.
MischiefMonster, 33, g ,
#103863
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A couple months ago, I sent you an email thanking you for doing what you do. Today, the
power of your voice hit home. As you know, an angry, sexually frustrated gunman went on
a killing spree at a fi tness center in Pittsburgh. Reading the killer’s blog, I was struck by the
similarity of his situation to that of the lonely, sexually frustrated men you counseled in your
column the week before the shooting. Of course the similarity between the shooter and your
correspondents ends there: George Sodini did not reach out; the men who wrote you did.
The reason this strikes so close to home is that my situation for years was very similar to
Sodini’s and to the lonely men who you helped in that column. Although I wasn’t a virgin, I was
“clogged up” and unable to get close to people physically and emotionally. I overcame my fears
and hang-ups, and life is good now. But it wasn’t easy. I was never as angry as the man who
shot up the fi tness center, but I was absolutely as lonely and isolated as he was and every bit
as lonely as the men whose letters you answered. Maybe if I’d been alone another 14 years — I
found my life partner at 34 — I might have become that angry.
Middle-Aged Family Guy
Thank you for the note, MAFG, and thanks — I think — for pointing me to George Sodini’s
blog. The blog has been pulled down, but it is extensively quoted in news reports and it makes
for depressing reading. It’s never pretty when chronic sexual deprivation and a lifetime of ro-
mantic rejection slam into a narcissistic personality with sociopathic tendencies who happens
to live in a country awash in guns:
“I actually look good. I dress good, am clean-shaven, bathe, touch of cologne — yet 30 mil-
lion women rejected me, over an 18- or 25-year period. That is how I see it. Thirty million is my
rough guesstimate of how many desirable single women there are.”
So, hey, why not go shoot up an aerobics class full of women?
A woman I knew at college — an antiviolence activist, righteous and right-on — used to say,
“Testosterone is gasoline, porn the match.” I disagree. Testosterone is gasoline — which isn’t
necessarily a bad thing (gas makes things go) — but sexual frustration is the match.
I’m not suggesting that this tragedy could’ve been averted if only some selfl ess woman
had “taken one for the team” and married Sodini, an asshole and a sociopath. The women who
rejected him obviously saw him for what he was and were right to run in the other direction.
But if someone had told Sodini, who hadn’t had sex since 1990, to see sex workers — some-
thing I advised the guys in my column two weeks ago to consider (among other things) — it
might have taken the edge off his anger and kept it from curdling into homicidal rage. Maybe
if we, as a society, valued sex workers and sex work, if we legalized and regulated it, and if
we viewed “paying for it” as a legitimate option for guys who would otherwise go without for
decades, perhaps this tragedy could have been averted.
Don’t get me wrong: I wouldn’t wish a client as sick as Sodini on any of my sex-worker
pals. But if Sodini had started seeing sex workers back in 1991 and not, say, two weeks ago last
Monday, perhaps he wouldn’t have snapped.
But Sodini wasn’t taking advice from me. He was getting it from R. Don Steele, author of
How to Date Young Women: For Men Over 35. The book was sitting on Sodini’s coffee table in
a video he posted to the web. Steele apparently traffi cs in — and profi ts from — instilling false
hopes in losers like Sodini. (“Immediately improve your success with women!” Steele says on
his website www.steelballs.com “Everything is 100% guaranteed money back.”)
Sodini felt that he was entitled not just to sex and a romantic relationship, but to sex and
a romantic relationship with a much younger woman. And he was following the advice of a
love-and-romance guru who encouraged him to cling to that belief. Not normally a problem,
I suppose. But Sodini wasn’t just another socially maladapted schlub furious with the world —
and with women — for denying him the twentysomething ass he felt he had coming. Sodini was
a nut. And he couldn’t understand why, if he was doing everything right, he wasn’t fi nding the
success that Steele guaranteed him.
Someone needed to sit Sodini down and explain that settling down requires settling for and
that young women are usually interested in young men and that we can’t always have what we
want and that there might be women out there who would date him — perhaps women closer
to his own age, women in his own league in the looks and social skills departments (and Sodini
wasn’t bad looking) — but no woman was going to date him until after he got his shit together.
And someone needed to tell him that he wasn’t going to impress the ladies by leaving How to
Date Young Women: For Men Over 35 on his coffee table.
And someone needed to tell him that some men — and some women — are alone all their
lives and, yeah, that sucks and it’s not fair and it hurts.
Instead, Sodini had R. Don “Steel Balls” Steele telling him that if he just bought a matching
sofa set — really — and the right suit, that success was guaranteed.
Download the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage
mail@savagelove.net
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EUGENE WEEKLY AUGUST 13, 2009
35