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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (May 21, 2009)
KINK Eugene Weekly’s New Alternative Dating Site • Browse local postings • Post your own profi le • Connect with local singles Respond to a Kink ad. Visit wink-kink.com and enter the ad ID Ads with a ☎ have Voice Mail Messages call 1-520-547-3020 (Charges may apply) WANNA HAVE FUN DISCREET, EASY RIDER shy person that wants to experi- ment. shypurple, 19, #103175 POLITICALLY ACTIVE FOLKIE NICE GUY READS BOOKS, GOES TO LECTURES, CONCERTS, PLAYS. ALSO BIKES, CONTRA DANCES, IS INTO MASSAGE, ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP, BUT I HAVE EXTRA SUGAR TO SHARE. orego- nian2001, 68, #103580 NEED. GIRL. STAT. Age and looks not important (to an extent) just bring the tits. Bunny, 21, #103033 LETS HAVE FUN WHERE ARE WE? Hey...im just lookin to have some fun in this wonderland...maybe get into some trouble... allisi- g , nawonderland, 22, #103524 Im lookin’ for a lover who wont blow my cover... She’s so hard to find. So take it easy. Don’t let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy. peaceface, 20, g , #102754 NAUGHTY, SUBMISSIVE, ROLEPLAY SCORPIO NSA ROLEPLAY Call it a spanking fetish. I’m look- ing for someone close to my age to “put me in my place”. Let’s have some naughty, kinky fun. [Clean/disease-free.]. Harpie, 19, #103472 “SPECIAL” FRIEND NEEDED My fuck friend moved out of state. Looking for a man that can be available to keep me sat- isfied to my standards. Bald men encouraged to apply. Smilie, 42, ☎, #103439 finding my sexual self and need some playmates.NSA is a MUST. Open to an on-going playmate situation.I enjoy ftm roleplay, strap-ons,porn and my imagination.I have an open mind. Anything up for discussion. seekernsafun, 32, ☎, g , #102557 HORNY NAUGHTY DISCREET I want someone willing to be dominant and talk dirty to me. I want someone to make me wet and leave me begging for more. Has to be discreet...shhh. wet- nsubmissive, 28, #103289 I am looking for a fwb maybe more. 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Need somebody chill. I just want to have a g-on-g encounter!!!!! Thanks! DirtyCowgirl, 19, #103551 FIRST TIME im 19.....just trying to have a good g , time. cali721, 19, #103559 FIRST TIME Ready for the 1st time. Im a bot- tom. Discreet. im handsome 18-48. timber, 30, #103352 SIMPLE ORAL PLEASURES. Fine with me. I just love to plea- sure my women ... I am an oral expert (so I’m told) and LOVE IT! Enjoy me! 103345, 62, g , #103345 MISS YOU HUMANMALE25 SSSSSSSSATISFACTION Needboy with art on his body and holes in his brain. want a canvas(lyricsmouth)blankonthe outside, almost!like the idea of docter.or patient.fuck hard wreslte harder.pass-out TOGETHER ALL THE WAY COMMUNIcate needs. rainyrhi- lucyrhio69, 18, #103362 FWB...WHERE R U? HOPE AND CHANGE I’m bored & tired of this vanilla world. I like 2 get what I want & please others. Live life to the full extent of what you imagine & what you want. DESIRE, 25, g , #101108 DIRTYDIRTYCOWGIRL A SECRET LOVER Ever get tired of what you have, would like to do a little explor- ing? I am at that point and look- ing for a woman to share some- thing new and different. CanisLupisLycaon, 36, #103555 SENSUAL STRANGER Secure, fun, kinky women/cou- ples need look no further for a fantastically intimate encounter with an equally secure, d/d free, open-minded guy. What’s your fantasy? I can help. SensualStranger, 28, g , #101593 Im 25, and Im looking to hook up with a lady. I like a relaxing, no pressure, nsa type of situation, come as you are, and we will. coolhandeugene, 25, ☎, g , #103545 TRYING NEW THINGS haven’t tried a lot but am willing to learn. open to most things. just want clean fun that gets a little dirty at times. See where it all leads to!! cheesebrat, 24, g , #103326 LOKING FOR SEX SEX. coty1, 19, #103577 CURIOUS New to this. I wanna see what could happen. Looking for noth- ing too serious. Im pretty open to try anything. Looking for someone close to my age. myghtymouse, 21, #103588 we used to play,lost touch, wanna play again, find me here,,,,,,or looking for other fun, easygoing, clean, in shape, trimmed, not hairy, hung, no facial hair, younger guy(s) pre- ferred. freaknineugene, 38, #103332 SOAPY SHOWER NEEDED! I’m a married bi guy who wants to meet other younger guys and take a soapy shower together and make me lick the soap off your body!! soapymouth, 70, #101183 FUN CUTE COUPLE We are a cute couple seeking same or single female. Full swap - female must be bi - guy straight. Healthy and Clean a must. Ages g , 25-40. funcpl, 27, #103533 FUN COUPLE LOOKING Fun couple looking4 normal couple who want to enjoy a plea- sureable erotic time. New to the couples game. Looking for attractive clean couple (age 30-45). Very discrete. No STD’s, drugs. FunLoving, 39, #103532 GIRLFRIEND FOR HUBBY Yes, you read that right. My husband needs a girlfriend! He is 36 M, black. LF a DDF woman for discreet encounters. Bi is a + but not needed. Cookie, 30, #103530 2 HORNDOGS LOOKING Sexually generous couple, exper- imental and naughty; lusty and loving; fun and silly! Looking for singles and couple (30’s and above please) to play with. Always play safe. Experience Lifestylers. RnD4u2, 62, ☎, #103528 $PPQFS % & 4 * ( / 1 ) 0 5 0 ( 3 " 1 ) : FNBJMUPEE!FVHFOFXFFLMZDPN PSDBMM SATISFY YOUR FANTASIES! NUDE DANCER HOURS AUDITIONS DAILY CALL NOON TO 517-7196 2:15 AM NO COVER MON/WED $15 TABLE DANCES NO COVER 1836 S. A Street • Springfield • 762-1503 WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM • BLOGS.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM Savage Love WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage Dear Readers: I regard this column as a sacred tryst. Your faith in my counsel and willing- ness to take me into your confi dence moves and humbles me on a daily basis, and the serious- ness with which I approach my chosen profession would normally prevent me from turning your letters over to a bunch of unruly drunks in a bar. But word somehow got around the bar where I retired to write this week’s column, and the assembled drunks insisted that they be allowed to share their hard-earned wisdom with you. So I printed out a few of your letters on the bar’s offi ce printer — with names, e-mail addresses, and identifying details removed — and passed them around with pens and legal pads. The American Heritage Dictionary defi nes “advice” as “an opinion about what could or should be done,” and opinions, as Saint Paul famously observed, are like assholes: Everyone’s got one (Esophagans 14:20). Please note that I don’t endorse all of the asshole opinions below — particularly when murder is recommended — and rest assured that I will be drinking/writing/ drinking elsewhere from now on. My wife and I have been married for eight months, and I love her very much. However, we don’t have sex much, maybe three times a month. We’ve seen a therapist a few times, and it hasn’t changed anything. I still love her, but my needs haven’t been met and I’m frustrated. Due to my frustration, I posted an ad on Craigslist — not to cheat but to just get some erotic interac- tion via the web. I only sent a few pictures back and forth. However, my wife found the e-mails. I apologized and said I never wanted to be with anyone but her, but that I just wanted to feel like I was desired. My wife has asked me to move out for a while, which I did. Are we effed? I know what I did was horrible, but I want to make this marriage work. I love her, and I don’t want this to end it. Confused In Salt Lake • “Since you live in Salt Lake, I’m going to assume that you didn’t have sex with your wife before you got marriaged [hic], and so it turns out that you and your wife are incompatible. Next time, try the milk before you buy the cow.” • “A lot of men make the mistake of initiating sex by just being like, ‘Hey, let’s fuck.’ Try this: Rub her shoulders, offer to make her a bath, give her a foot massage. Then eat her out, but don’t ask for anything. Do this for two weeks. Show her that you want her to enjoy sex. If it doesn’t work, sorry, you’re fucked.” • “You have four separate problems that are now, through the magic of synergy, combined into one big one: Your wife’s not into sex, you live in Utah, your wife made you move out, and you’re using Craigslist (what the fuck?). Time for some radical honesty: Tell her exactly how you feel and what you want. Insist she do the same. Don’t censor. This will either fi nish burning your marriage to the ground or maybe — MAYBE — allow you to start dealing with each other like adults.” • “Hey, Mormon Dumbfuck: She asked you to move out. It’s already over! HELLO?!?” I have a submissive side. My fi rst dominant girlfriend would face-sit me for an hour; after she climaxed, she would ride me until she climaxed multiple times, and only then would she let me climax. Eventually we were doing cunnilingus after intercourse, but when she suggested it might be fun to add “more sauce” to the mix — bring another man into our play, and this other man’s ejaculate — I dumped her. A similar thing happened in my next relationship. Do all dominant women think all male submissives are interested in bisexual behavior and being a cuckold? There is a BDSM group in Washington, D.C., but the cohort for under-35s is tiny (I am under 30), and it’s nothing but fat women. I don’t want to pay, I work out, I have a salary, and I eat my lunch every day. I don’t need to be looked after. I am totally self-reliant, but I nevertheless want to be completely dominated by a woman. If the right woman came along now, I would marry her and make her very happy. Should I be more patient and let her fi nd me, or should I fi nd ways to put out more openly that I am a submissive? Where Are The Monogamous Dominant Women? • “Where are your social skills, douchebag?” • “You sound like a dick. Only sex your way or you dump them? WTF? Try meeting some- one you like and slowly introduce the Dom/sub stuff. Right now you are SO demanding with your fantasies but unwilling to fulfi ll someone else’s. That’s a dick move.” • “When I got to ‘I have a salary and I eat my lunch,’ I stopped reading.” • “There is nothing less attractive than a ‘sub’ screaming, ‘Top me, Mistress — but not if you’re too fat or too poly or too old or if you actually have fantasies of your own or if you’re going to order me to do something I don’t want to do.’ That’s why you’re not getting any ac- tion, dummy.” • “You suck. The end.” My partner and I are in our mid-20s and have been together since our teens. We have similar interests and compatible lifestyles. We make an awesome pair. Unfortunately, we are not sexually compatible. Over time we’ve grown closer regarding most things, except for sex. I’ve come to realize that I’m kinky and nonmonogamous. My partner is decidedly not kinky, though she has said that if I slept with others she would NEVER want to know. That leaves a door slightly open. I love her and am committed to the relationship, but I need some kink to be happy, and my outing myself as kinky has led to a steady deterioration in our vanilla sex life. Is it fair to put her on notice that I’ll be kinking out as opportunities arise and deal with the fallout as we go? Seeking Orderly Solution • “She said she would ‘never want to know.’ That is NOT an open door. That’s a double- shielded blast door with padlocks and a sign on it that says, ‘Don’t even think about it, moth- erfucker.’” • “Putting her ‘on notice’ sounds kind of assholish. Have the big, awful, stomach-clenching talk about your future. It’s not fair to either of you for you to have to stay monogamous and be unhappy. You need to fi gure this out.” • “Let her know that you are going to do it if the opportunity arises, but assure her that you’re just looking to satisfy your kink. Be sure to respect her desire not to know, but always be ready to divulge if she changes her mind. If you want the relationship to work, you need to be ‘allowing.’” • “You’ll be unhappy for a few years if you leave her, but you’ll be unhappy for the REST OF YOUR LIFE if you stay.” • “WTF? Get rid of the shit. I’m not talking about ‘leaving’ her. She’s likely to have some of your secrets. KILL HER. Everything you need is at a convenience store: shovel, lime, rope, large garbage bags, sympathy card for the family.” Thanks for the input and insight, assembled drunks. And for the record: Murder is wrong. Dump her, SOS, don’t kill her. Download the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage. mail@savagelove.net EUGENE WEEKLY MAY 21, 2009 31
