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WANNA HAVE FUN
DISCREET, EASY RIDER
shy person that wants to experi-
ment.
shypurple,
19,
#103175
POLITICALLY ACTIVE FOLKIE NICE
GUY READS BOOKS, GOES TO
LECTURES, CONCERTS, PLAYS.
ALSO BIKES, CONTRA DANCES, IS
INTO MASSAGE, ALREADY IN A
RELATIONSHIP, BUT I HAVE EXTRA
SUGAR TO SHARE. orego-
nian2001, 68, #103580
NEED. GIRL. STAT.
Age and looks not important (to
an extent) just bring the tits.
Bunny, 21, #103033
LETS HAVE FUN
WHERE ARE WE?
Hey...im just lookin to have some
fun in this wonderland...maybe
get into some trouble... allisi-
g ,
nawonderland, 22,
#103524
Im lookin’ for a lover who wont
blow my cover... She’s so hard to
find. So take it easy. Don’t let the
sound of your own wheels drive
you crazy. peaceface, 20,
g , #102754
NAUGHTY, SUBMISSIVE,
ROLEPLAY
SCORPIO NSA ROLEPLAY
Call it a spanking fetish. I’m look-
ing for someone close to my age
to “put me in my place”. Let’s
have some naughty, kinky fun.
[Clean/disease-free.]. Harpie,
19, #103472
“SPECIAL” FRIEND NEEDED
My fuck friend moved out of
state. Looking for a man that
can be available to keep me sat-
isfied to my standards. Bald men
encouraged to apply. Smilie,
42, ☎, #103439
finding my sexual self and need
some playmates.NSA is a MUST.
Open to an on-going playmate
situation.I enjoy ftm roleplay,
strap-ons,porn
and
my
imagination.I have an open mind.
Anything up for discussion.
seekernsafun, 32, ☎, g ,
#102557
HORNY NAUGHTY DISCREET
I want someone willing to be
dominant and talk dirty to me. I
want someone to make me wet
and leave me begging for more.
Has to be discreet...shhh. wet-
nsubmissive,
28,
#103289
I am looking for a fwb maybe
more. Seeking a woman that
loves to play in all kinds of ways.
I am new to this and eager to get
started. Camerashy, 36,
#103544
PLEASING YOU
Searching for a women or bi-
sexual couple to help me explore
my sexuality between 18-25. I’m
22 medium build 200 lbs. toys,
rope and cross-dressing wel-
come. Komimatt, 23, g ,
#101435
GIRL IN TRAINING
LOOKING FOR BI-FEMALE
I am looking for a girl to show me
the ropes. I am desperately
wanting to have a girl on girl
encounter. I have never been,and
want to badly. Yummy, 25,
#103155
We are an attractive couple
(30’s) looking to find a bi-female
who wants to have some fun
with both of us. We are open-
minded, fun to be around, hon-
est, safe. Looking4fun, 31,
g , #103574
LICK ME
I’m looking for a woman (some
couples ok) who is into hours of
oral pleasures. I’m new but am
wet and willing... let’s see if we’re
a match. naughtymommy,
28, #102330
I WANT PLEASURE
Hi, just moved here. I have a bf.
Want to experiment. 19. I ride
horses and smoke weed. Need
somebody chill. I just want to
have a g-on-g encounter!!!!!
Thanks! DirtyCowgirl, 19,
#103551
FIRST TIME
im 19.....just trying to have a good
g ,
time. cali721, 19,
#103559
FIRST TIME
Ready for the 1st time. Im a bot-
tom. Discreet. im handsome
18-48. timber, 30, #103352
SIMPLE ORAL PLEASURES.
Fine with me. I just love to plea-
sure my women ... I am an oral
expert (so I’m told) and LOVE IT!
Enjoy me! 103345, 62, g ,
#103345
MISS YOU HUMANMALE25
SSSSSSSSATISFACTION
Needboy with art on his body
and holes in his brain. want a
canvas(lyricsmouth)blankonthe
outside, almost!like the idea of
docter.or patient.fuck hard
wreslte
harder.pass-out
TOGETHER ALL THE WAY
COMMUNIcate needs. rainyrhi-
lucyrhio69, 18, #103362
FWB...WHERE R U?
HOPE AND CHANGE
I’m bored & tired of this vanilla
world. I like 2 get what I want &
please others. Live life to the full
extent of what you imagine &
what you want. DESIRE, 25,
g , #101108
DIRTYDIRTYCOWGIRL
A SECRET LOVER
Ever get tired of what you have,
would like to do a little explor-
ing? I am at that point and look-
ing for a woman to share some-
thing new and different.
CanisLupisLycaon, 36,
#103555
SENSUAL STRANGER
Secure, fun, kinky women/cou-
ples need look no further for a
fantastically intimate encounter
with an equally secure, d/d free,
open-minded guy. What’s your
fantasy?
I can help.
SensualStranger, 28, g ,
#101593
Im 25, and Im looking to hook up
with a lady. I like a relaxing, no
pressure, nsa type of situation,
come as you are, and we will.
coolhandeugene, 25, ☎,
g , #103545
TRYING NEW THINGS
haven’t tried a lot but am willing
to learn. open to most things.
just want clean fun that gets a
little dirty at times. See where it
all leads to!! cheesebrat, 24,
g , #103326
LOKING FOR SEX
SEX. coty1, 19, #103577
CURIOUS
New to this. I wanna see what
could happen. Looking for noth-
ing too serious. Im pretty open
to try anything. Looking for
someone close to my age.
myghtymouse,
21,
#103588
we used to play,lost touch,
wanna play again, find me
here,,,,,,or looking for other fun,
easygoing, clean, in shape,
trimmed, not hairy, hung, no
facial hair, younger guy(s) pre-
ferred. freaknineugene, 38,
#103332
SOAPY SHOWER NEEDED!
I’m a married bi guy who wants
to meet other younger guys and
take a soapy shower together
and make me lick the soap off
your body!! soapymouth, 70,
#101183
FUN CUTE COUPLE
We are a cute couple seeking
same or single female. Full swap
- female must be bi - guy straight.
Healthy and Clean a must. Ages
g ,
25-40. funcpl, 27,
#103533
FUN COUPLE LOOKING
Fun couple looking4 normal
couple who want to enjoy a plea-
sureable erotic time. New to the
couples game. Looking for
attractive clean couple (age
30-45). Very discrete. No STD’s,
drugs. FunLoving, 39,
#103532
GIRLFRIEND FOR HUBBY
Yes, you read that right. My
husband needs a girlfriend! He
is 36 M, black. LF a DDF woman
for discreet encounters. Bi is a +
but not needed. Cookie, 30,
#103530
2 HORNDOGS LOOKING
Sexually generous couple, exper-
imental and naughty; lusty and
loving; fun and silly! Looking for
singles and couple (30’s and
above please) to play with.
Always play safe. Experience
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#103528
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Savage Love
WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage
Dear Readers: I regard this column as a sacred tryst. Your faith in my counsel and willing-
ness to take me into your confi dence moves and humbles me on a daily basis, and the serious-
ness with which I approach my chosen profession would normally prevent me from turning
your letters over to a bunch of unruly drunks in a bar. But word somehow got around the bar
where I retired to write this week’s column, and the assembled drunks insisted that they be
allowed to share their hard-earned wisdom with you. So I printed out a few of your letters on
the bar’s offi ce printer — with names, e-mail addresses, and identifying details removed — and
passed them around with pens and legal pads.
The American Heritage Dictionary defi nes “advice” as “an opinion about what could or
should be done,” and opinions, as Saint Paul famously observed, are like assholes: Everyone’s
got one (Esophagans 14:20). Please note that I don’t endorse all of the asshole opinions below
— particularly when murder is recommended — and rest assured that I will be drinking/writing/
drinking elsewhere from now on.
My wife and I have been married for eight months, and I love her very much. However, we
don’t have sex much, maybe three times a month. We’ve seen a therapist a few times, and it
hasn’t changed anything. I still love her, but my needs haven’t been met and I’m frustrated. Due
to my frustration, I posted an ad on Craigslist — not to cheat but to just get some erotic interac-
tion via the web. I only sent a few pictures back and forth. However, my wife found the e-mails.
I apologized and said I never wanted to be with anyone but her, but that I just wanted to feel
like I was desired. My wife has asked me to move out for a while, which I did.
Are we effed? I know what I did was horrible, but I want to make this marriage work. I love
her, and I don’t want this to end it.
Confused In Salt Lake
• “Since you live in Salt Lake, I’m going to assume that you didn’t have sex with your wife
before you got marriaged [hic], and so it turns out that you and your wife are incompatible.
Next time, try the milk before you buy the cow.”
• “A lot of men make the mistake of initiating sex by just being like, ‘Hey, let’s fuck.’ Try
this: Rub her shoulders, offer to make her a bath, give her a foot massage. Then eat her out,
but don’t ask for anything. Do this for two weeks. Show her that you want her to enjoy sex. If it
doesn’t work, sorry, you’re fucked.”
• “You have four separate problems that are now, through the magic of synergy, combined
into one big one: Your wife’s not into sex, you live in Utah, your wife made you move out, and
you’re using Craigslist (what the fuck?). Time for some radical honesty: Tell her exactly how
you feel and what you want. Insist she do the same. Don’t censor. This will either fi nish burning
your marriage to the ground or maybe — MAYBE — allow you to start dealing with each other
like adults.”
• “Hey, Mormon Dumbfuck: She asked you to move out. It’s already over! HELLO?!?”
I have a submissive side. My fi rst dominant girlfriend would face-sit me for an hour; after
she climaxed, she would ride me until she climaxed multiple times, and only then would she let
me climax. Eventually we were doing cunnilingus after intercourse, but when she suggested
it might be fun to add “more sauce” to the mix — bring another man into our play, and this
other man’s ejaculate — I dumped her. A similar thing happened in my next relationship. Do all
dominant women think all male submissives are interested in bisexual behavior and being a
cuckold?
There is a BDSM group in Washington, D.C., but the cohort for under-35s is tiny (I am under
30), and it’s nothing but fat women. I don’t want to pay, I work out, I have a salary, and I eat my
lunch every day. I don’t need to be looked after. I am totally self-reliant, but I nevertheless want
to be completely dominated by a woman. If the right woman came along now, I would marry
her and make her very happy.
Should I be more patient and let her fi nd me, or should I fi nd ways to put out more openly
that I am a submissive?
Where Are The Monogamous Dominant Women?
• “Where are your social skills, douchebag?”
• “You sound like a dick. Only sex your way or you dump them? WTF? Try meeting some-
one you like and slowly introduce the Dom/sub stuff. Right now you are SO demanding with
your fantasies but unwilling to fulfi ll someone else’s. That’s a dick move.”
• “When I got to ‘I have a salary and I eat my lunch,’ I stopped reading.”
• “There is nothing less attractive than a ‘sub’ screaming, ‘Top me, Mistress — but not if
you’re too fat or too poly or too old or if you actually have fantasies of your own or if you’re
going to order me to do something I don’t want to do.’ That’s why you’re not getting any ac-
tion, dummy.”
• “You suck. The end.”
My partner and I are in our mid-20s and have been together since our teens. We have
similar interests and compatible lifestyles. We make an awesome pair. Unfortunately, we are
not sexually compatible. Over time we’ve grown closer regarding most things, except for sex.
I’ve come to realize that I’m kinky and nonmonogamous. My partner is decidedly not kinky,
though she has said that if I slept with others she would NEVER want to know. That leaves a
door slightly open.
I love her and am committed to the relationship, but I need some kink to be happy, and my
outing myself as kinky has led to a steady deterioration in our vanilla sex life. Is it fair to put
her on notice that I’ll be kinking out as opportunities arise and deal with the fallout as we go?
Seeking Orderly Solution
• “She said she would ‘never want to know.’ That is NOT an open door. That’s a double-
shielded blast door with padlocks and a sign on it that says, ‘Don’t even think about it, moth-
erfucker.’”
• “Putting her ‘on notice’ sounds kind of assholish. Have the big, awful, stomach-clenching
talk about your future. It’s not fair to either of you for you to have to stay monogamous and
be unhappy. You need to fi gure this out.”
• “Let her know that you are going to do it if the opportunity arises, but assure her that
you’re just looking to satisfy your kink. Be sure to respect her desire not to know, but always
be ready to divulge if she changes her mind. If you want the relationship to work, you need to
be ‘allowing.’”
• “You’ll be unhappy for a few years if you leave her, but you’ll be unhappy for the REST OF
YOUR LIFE if you stay.”
• “WTF? Get rid of the shit. I’m not talking about ‘leaving’ her. She’s likely to have some
of your secrets. KILL HER. Everything you need is at a convenience store: shovel, lime, rope,
large garbage bags, sympathy card for the family.”
Thanks for the input and insight, assembled drunks. And for the record: Murder is wrong.
Dump her, SOS, don’t kill her.
Download the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.
mail@savagelove.net
EUGENE WEEKLY MAY 21, 2009
31