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KINK Eugene Weekly’s New Alternative Dating Site • Browse local postings Respond to a Kink ad. Visit wink-kink.com and enter the ad ID • Post your own profi le Ads with a have Voice Mail Messages call 1-520-547-3020 (Charges may apply) • Connect with local singles LOOKING FOR.. COUGAR HUNTER Looking for fun first but maybe more. Just casual now, but not against more. I am very laid back.... J R C, 2 5, # 1 02 4 08 I’m in an open marriage. I am 28, 6’1’, with dark hair/eyes. I love my community, and work to change it everyday. Good conversation- alist, but admit nerves affect me sometimes. i ne u ge n e 8, 2 6, # 10 30 0 0 HORNY ADVENTUROUS WILLING SOUNDJUNKIE101 likes old punk music. like orange tic tacs and sharing suckers, whats more personal then shar- ing saliva? just want that some one that i haven’t found yet. wildly romantic W/L... so u n d - j u n ki e , 23 , #1 02 9 66 YOU GOOD ENOUGH? nothing serious, just something to get me hot. tattoos a plus. i like being fun and playful in the bedroom but i need a man to throw me around sometimes;). pl e as ur e ki tt y1 9 8 5, 23 , g , # 1 0 2 70 7 ALLUREKITTY The next phase in my life......... A ll u r ek at , 4 4 , g , #1 02 6 7 5 NEED MORE EXCITEMENT Life is short so let’s enjoy it. Liven up my Sex life. Be Real. e a ge r4 mo re , 4 8, # 1 02 6 5 4 WORKMEOUT What is a Queen Baby?It isn’t a female dom. Queen Baby is a submissive who is not only disci- plined by her Daddy, but pam- pered and worshipped by him too. Qu ee n Ba by , 30 , #1 0 2 49 3 CURIOUS AND BORED,,,,, Funny, intelligent, attractive les- bian. Wanting to experiment. Attracted to Trans (FTM) Men. Not sex only, but its not out of the question. Any cute trans men out there? B o un d , 3 1, #1 0 3 0 04 PASSIONATE PLEASURE i want a sexually attractive female or male preferably with tattoos, piercings or body mods, clean, that just gets the urge to fuck beautiful people ... fu n , 1 9, # 1 02 5 28 LICK ME I’m looking for a woman (some couples ok) who is into hours of oral pleasures. I’m new but am wet and willing... let’s see if we’re a match. n au gh t ym om m y, 28 , # 1 02 3 30 I’m bored & tired of this vanilla world. I like 2 get what I want & please others. Live life to the full extent of what you imagine & what you want. D E SI R E, 2 5, g , # 1 01 1 0 8 bi-curious I have always been interested in women sexually. I am looking for someone to try things with possibly friends with benifits, prefer a single woman would consider couple. S w ee t 4 Yo u, 2 4, # 1 02 9 92 LETS HAVE FUN Im lookin’ for a lover who wont blow my cover... She’s so hard to find. So take it easy. Don’t let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy. p e a ce fa c e, 2 0, g , # 1 0 2 75 4 HORNY, VAGINAL, BJS i am looking for people to have some fun with and explore our sexuality...new to the game but lots to bring to the table. must be discreet and open minded. n i ts u , 3 3, g , #1 02 77 9 i want to have some fun. h ot n h o rn y, 2 0, # 10 2 93 2 SPANKME My goal in life is to please a woman, I have lots of experi- ence. Lifes short. s pa nk m e1 9 6 9, 4 4, g , # 10 2 93 1 P.H.D. FEMALE ORGASM!!! Hello ladies, Just out of long relationship and ready to play alittle. If you want a man that will never dissapoint. Look no fur- ther. I pride my self in pleasing. C o na n 1 5, 3 2, g , # 10 2 9 1 2 LUSTFULL PLEASURES I’M ALL YOURS looking for hot sensual discreet encounter bi white male. v ik i n g 11 , 4 2, # 10 2 7 43 MID-LIFE NEEDS SM seeks bi-or gay male or bi- M/F couple for mutual satisfac- tion. Well endowed, a turn-on. If M/F, woman should partipate. Am attractive, disease-free and spontaneous. You be. Try this on! F r ie n d ly , 6 5, # 1 02 44 9 LICK ALL NIGHT looking for fun and more?like the hottubs,snuggling,snd other fun things.love to cook,and cater to that special someone.into massages that lead to some- thing more.love to get that per- son off. va de r6 9, 3 9, # 1 03 0 1 8 SEXPOT hey wanna have sex? J e su s 1 , 1 8 , # 10 2 96 8 BONDAGE TOP Bondage Top, 36, seeks other men 21-40 who want to be tied up. This is all about domination an role-playing, not sex. You’ll have a fun and suspenseful night! To pM an , 3 6, # 1 02 53 9 HOT MAMA Seeking a woman who is inter- ested in getting to know one another, then see what happens, if we play or not. j u st b ud di ng , 5 2, ☎,, #102824 Looking for a hot woman, or two women, or a couple m/w, who want discreet, occassional nsa play with a clean and fit man. be sane yet wild and kinky. h ot r ic k4 u , 2 5 , #1 02 9 07 SEXY GIRLIE GIRL with preference for transmen, also into butches and men seek- ing honest, kind, passionate per- son with intact sense of humor to date, play with, FWB’s. Want stimulating conversation and fantastic chemistry I offer what I seek. t ra n ny lo v e r, 3 2 , g , # 1 01 3 7 7 I WANT PLEASURE BI-CURIOUS WANTS TEACHER SOLIDLY SEXY recently seperated looking for unabashed fun with confident women who are not afraid of their sexuality.me kinda macho, pretty kind hearted, energetic and fun loving. st ar do g w ee , 3 3, ☎,, g , #1 0 2 98 1 LOOKING FOR DADDY LET’S GET NAKED!!! Easy goin’, friendly guy looking for friend with benefits to explore sexual desires. Clean & you must be too. Let’s get together & get naked ;). Po et i c al _ V er s e, 2 5, ☎,, g , # 1 03 0 2 2 $PPQFS % & 4 * ( / 1 ) 0 5 0 ( 3 " 1 ) : FNBJMUPEE!FVHFOFXFFLMZDPN PSDBMM Looking for an experienced older man to show me how to be a good, submissive boy toy for him and his friends. I’m yours for the taking. r u st b oy 6 2 , 24 , # 10 24 7 7 FUNCOUPLE FOR “FRIENDS” we are looking to meet people for long term fun and friendship wea re open to most anything so feel free to ask about anything. e u g e n ec p l 97 40 4, 2 2 , #1 0 3 00 8 MMOUSE_N_TBEAR SEARCH- ING WOMEN We are a primarily femdom cou- ple ISO women. He is straight, she is bi. Interested in many dif- ferent things we find our favorites lie in humiliation, watersports, rimming, and spanking. m mo u se n tb e ar , 2 1, g , #1 0 2 9 71 SEXYPAIR SEEKING SEXGODDESS Sexy, fun, curious, clean couple looking to invite a hot female into the bedroom for mutual pleasure. Never been with a woman before, but thinking about it gets me hot. C ur io u s Se xK i t te n, 2 4, g , # 10 29 1 5 s N Boots Pus Dancers Ala Carte Premium Entertainment Agency & Clothing Outlet Book Hot Entertainers Now! Exotic Housecleaning 406 Main Street Springfi eld, Oregon 541-746-3300 • 541-968-1100 www.StrippersAlaCarte.com SATISFY YOUR FANTASIES! NUDE DANCER HOURS AUDITIONS DAILY CALL NOON TO 517-7196 2:15 AM NO COVER NO COVER Savage Love WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage I’m an 18-year-old straight female. Two nights ago, I went to a party. My ex- boyfriend was present, but my current boyfriend was not. I had several beers, and while I wasn’t drunk, I was tipsy. I had to go to my car to get my cell phone, and my ex offered to accompany me. When we got to the car, he pushed me against the car and started making out with me. I tried to push him away and said, “No, I can’t” several times. He kept trying to pull my pants down, and every time he did, I pulled them back up. He took his dick out and tried again to pull down my pants. I know it sounds stu- pid, but all I could get out were meek “nos” and “I can’ts.” I was afraid of a confronta- tion because he and I have been friendly since we broke up. I eventually discontinued my attempts to pull my pants back up because I figured the easiest way to get out of this situation was to let him finish. He had sex with me. I wanted to cry the whole time, but as much as I wanted to scream, “Stop! Get the fuck off of me!” I couldn’t get the words out. I called my boyfriend when I got home and told him what happened. He is angry because he thinks I had a part in it. I don’t know how to make him understand how many times I said no and how at first I physically stopped my ex from taking my clothes off. My boyfriend and I have been through a lot together, and we talked about getting married one day. I never wanted to cheat on him, and while I feel guilty about what happened, I think he’s being harsh on me considering I succumbed to force. I’ve apologized again and again, but I don’t know how to make things right. I still don’t want a confrontation with the ex. I just want to forget about him and never see him or speak to him again. I just want things to be okay again with my boyfriend. Is there anything I can do or say to make him understand? Date Rape Engenders Awful Depression Understand that you were raped, DREAD — date-ish raped, acquaintance-ish raped, gray-area-ish raped, blurry-booze-soaked-lines raped, and raped under circumstances that would make bringing charges a futile exercise. But raped. Your ex kept coming at you, and you were paralyzed by a set of inhibitions — a desire to avoid confrontation at all costs (even the cost of your own violation), a desire to avoid making your victimizer feel bad — that are pounded into the heads of girls and young women. Your ex exploited this vulnerability. Your ex may not think he raped you since you finally “let him,” and perhaps he interprets that as consent and so, distressingly, does your boyfriend. But raped you were. So what do you do now? I’d suggest a bit more contact with your ex. You need to confront him — for your own sake, DREAD, but also for the sake of all other women he’s going to encounter over the course of his life. If you can’t face him, call him. If you can’t speak to him, write him (a letter, not an e-mail). Wherever he is right now, he’s rational- izing away his responsibility for what happened. He may be telling himself that he was drunk, that you were drunk, and that, sure, he may have been aggressive at first, but that you came around and enjoyed it as much as he did. He needs to hear from you that you regard — and, for what it’s worth, I regard — what happened as rape. Tell him that he didn’t get away with it — that he raped you, you know it, and now he knows it. Then tell him that if the circumstances were just a little less ambiguous, DREAD, that you would be going to the police. Hell, tell him you still might. Put the fear of God into him. Then you need to confront the boyfriend: If your boyfriend can’t take your side, DREAD, if he can’t see what really happened here, if he insists on victimizing you, too, then you don’t need him in your life any more than you need your ex in your life. I’m a 23-year-old gay dude from Vancouver. My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. Thing is, he’s seriously letting himself go — gaining weight, enjoying roomier pants. I drop hints about working out or eating better — but he gets offended and becomes self-conscious. I want to be supportive and not care, but I do care and it’s killing me. Had I known at 19 that he would be throwing away his hot body, I might have reconsidered his LTR potential. Now, four years later, I’m stuck with a lovable fatty who I’m having a hard time being intimate with. Is this awful? Am I selfish? I love him, but I want to enjoy sex again. I have NOTHING against fatties, Dan, I just don’t want to bed one. Really Eating At Me Drop the subtlety, REAM. No more faux-loving hints about the importance of diet and exercise — he reacts negatively to that shit because he’s picking up on your dishon- estly. You’re not concerned for his health, REAM, you’re concerned for your sex life and what the death of your attraction to him means for this relationship. So give it to him straight: You’re not attracted to fatties, which is why you pursued him four years ago, and his weight gain is killing your sex life and threatening the survival of your relation- ship. If he values this relationship, he’ll get his ass off the couch. And now a note to the infuriated fatsophere: I’m not saying that REAM’s boyfriend is unattractive because he’s heavier, or that heavy people aren’t or can’t be attractive, or that all must forever maintain our “first-date weight” over the multidecade course of relationship/marriage/whatever. But to destroy a large part of what attracted someone to you early in a relationship — whether actively or through neglect — is to take your partner for granted in a way that’s not okay. And that goes for a tight-bodied fag who parks his ass on the couch because he’s got a boyfriend now — so, hey, why bother with the gym? — and the BBW who wastes away to skin and bones after she lands an admirer. A close gay friend recently seroconverted after months of barebacking and meth use. He’s a successful professional with years of AIDS peer-education experience. My immediate reaction was shock and anger. He claims that I am not a true friend because I should hide my feelings and shower him with empathy and understanding. Is there something wrong with me for feeling mad at my friend for his irresponsibility? Old Fashioned Safe Sex Adherent Let’s say you’ve got two friends. One gets hit by lightning, and the other plops his sopping-wet ass down on a third rail. Do both friends — presuming both survive — deserve your empathy and understanding, OFSSA? Of course. But one friend was elec- trocuted while the other electrocuted his damn self. Friendship does not obligate you to pretend that your friend who sat his ass down on the third rail wasn’t being idiotic and self-destructive. Friendship, in fact, requires the opposite reaction. Download the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at www.thestranger.com/savage. mail@savagelove.net 1836 S. A Street • Springfield • 762-1503 WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM • BLOGS.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM EUGENE WEEKLY JANUARY 8, 2009 39
