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LOOKING FOR..
COUGAR HUNTER
Looking for fun first but maybe
more. Just casual now, but not
against more. I am very laid
back.... J R C, 2 5, # 1 02 4 08
I’m in an open marriage. I am 28,
6’1’, with dark hair/eyes. I love my
community, and work to change
it everyday. Good conversation-
alist, but admit nerves affect me
sometimes. i ne u ge n e 8, 2 6,
# 10 30 0 0
HORNY ADVENTUROUS
WILLING
SOUNDJUNKIE101
likes old punk music. like orange
tic tacs and sharing suckers,
whats more personal then shar-
ing saliva? just want that some
one that i haven’t found yet.
wildly romantic W/L... so u n d -
j u n ki e , 23 , #1 02 9 66
YOU GOOD ENOUGH?
nothing serious, just something
to get me hot. tattoos a plus. i
like being fun and playful in the
bedroom but i need a man to
throw me around sometimes;).
pl e as ur e ki tt y1 9 8 5, 23 , g ,
# 1 0 2 70 7
ALLUREKITTY
The next phase in my life.........
A ll u r ek at , 4 4 , g , #1 02 6 7 5
NEED MORE EXCITEMENT
Life is short so let’s enjoy it.
Liven up my Sex life. Be Real.
e a ge r4 mo re , 4 8, # 1 02 6 5 4
WORKMEOUT
What is a Queen Baby?It isn’t a
female dom. Queen Baby is a
submissive who is not only disci-
plined by her Daddy, but pam-
pered and worshipped by him
too. Qu ee n Ba by , 30 , #1 0 2 49 3
CURIOUS AND BORED,,,,,
Funny, intelligent, attractive les-
bian. Wanting to experiment.
Attracted to Trans (FTM) Men.
Not sex only, but its not out of
the question. Any cute trans men
out there? B o un d , 3 1, #1 0 3 0 04
PASSIONATE PLEASURE
i want a sexually attractive
female or male preferably with
tattoos, piercings or body mods,
clean, that just gets the urge to
fuck beautiful people ... fu n , 1 9,
# 1 02 5 28
LICK ME
I’m looking for a woman (some
couples ok) who is into hours of
oral pleasures. I’m new but am
wet and willing... let’s see if we’re
a match. n au gh t ym om m y, 28 ,
# 1 02 3 30
I’m bored & tired of this vanilla
world. I like 2 get what I want &
please others. Live life to the full
extent of what you imagine &
what you want. D E SI R E, 2 5, g ,
# 1 01 1 0 8
bi-curious I have always been
interested in women sexually. I
am looking for someone to try
things with possibly friends with
benifits, prefer a single woman
would
consider
couple.
S w ee t 4 Yo u, 2 4, # 1 02 9 92
LETS HAVE FUN
Im lookin’ for a lover who wont
blow my cover... She’s so hard to
find. So take it easy. Don’t let the
sound of your own wheels drive
you crazy. p e a ce fa c e, 2 0, g ,
# 1 0 2 75 4
HORNY, VAGINAL, BJS
i am looking for people to have
some fun with and explore our
sexuality...new to the game but
lots to bring to the table. must
be discreet and open minded.
n i ts u , 3 3, g , #1 02 77 9
i want to have some fun.
h ot n h o rn y, 2 0, # 10 2 93 2
SPANKME
My goal in life is to please a
woman, I have lots of experi-
ence. Lifes short. s pa nk m e1 9 6 9,
4 4, g , # 10 2 93 1
P.H.D. FEMALE ORGASM!!!
Hello ladies, Just out of long
relationship and ready to play
alittle. If you want a man that will
never dissapoint. Look no fur-
ther. I pride my self in pleasing.
C o na n 1 5, 3 2, g , # 10 2 9 1 2
LUSTFULL PLEASURES
I’M ALL YOURS
looking for hot sensual discreet
encounter bi white male.
v ik i n g 11 , 4 2, # 10 2 7 43
MID-LIFE NEEDS
SM seeks bi-or gay male or bi-
M/F couple for mutual satisfac-
tion. Well endowed, a turn-on. If
M/F, woman should partipate. Am
attractive, disease-free and
spontaneous. You be. Try this on!
F r ie n d ly , 6 5, # 1 02 44 9
LICK ALL NIGHT
looking for fun and more?like
the hottubs,snuggling,snd other
fun things.love to cook,and cater
to that special someone.into
massages that lead to some-
thing more.love to get that per-
son off. va de r6 9, 3 9, # 1 03 0 1 8
SEXPOT
hey wanna have sex? J e su s 1 , 1 8 ,
# 10 2 96 8
BONDAGE TOP
Bondage Top, 36, seeks other
men 21-40 who want to be tied
up. This is all about domination
an role-playing, not sex. You’ll
have a fun and suspenseful
night! To pM an , 3 6, # 1 02 53 9
HOT MAMA
Seeking a woman who is inter-
ested in getting to know one
another, then see what happens,
if we play or not. j u st b ud di ng , 5 2,
☎,, #102824
Looking for a hot woman, or two
women, or a couple m/w, who
want discreet, occassional nsa
play with a clean and fit man. be
sane yet wild and kinky.
h ot r ic k4 u , 2 5 , #1 02 9 07
SEXY GIRLIE GIRL
with preference for transmen,
also into butches and men seek-
ing honest, kind, passionate per-
son with intact sense of humor
to date, play with, FWB’s. Want
stimulating conversation and
fantastic chemistry I offer what I
seek. t ra n ny lo v e r, 3 2 , g ,
# 1 01 3 7 7
I WANT PLEASURE
BI-CURIOUS WANTS TEACHER
SOLIDLY SEXY
recently seperated looking for
unabashed fun with confident
women who are not afraid of
their sexuality.me kinda macho,
pretty kind hearted, energetic
and fun loving. st ar do g w ee , 3 3,
☎,, g , #1 0 2 98 1
LOOKING FOR DADDY
LET’S GET NAKED!!!
Easy goin’, friendly guy looking
for friend with benefits to
explore sexual desires. Clean &
you must be too. Let’s get
together & get naked ;).
Po et i c al _ V er s e, 2 5, ☎,, g ,
# 1 03 0 2 2
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% &
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PSDBMM
Looking for an experienced older
man to show me how to be a
good, submissive boy toy for him
and his friends. I’m yours for the
taking. r u st b oy 6 2 , 24 , # 10 24 7 7
FUNCOUPLE FOR “FRIENDS”
we are looking to meet people
for long term fun and friendship
wea re open to most anything so
feel free to ask about anything.
e u g e n ec p l 97 40 4, 2 2 , #1 0 3 00 8
MMOUSE_N_TBEAR SEARCH-
ING WOMEN
We are a primarily femdom cou-
ple ISO women. He is straight,
she is bi. Interested in many dif-
ferent things we find our
favorites lie in humiliation,
watersports, rimming, and
spanking. m mo u se n tb e ar , 2 1,
g , #1 0 2 9 71
SEXYPAIR SEEKING
SEXGODDESS
Sexy, fun, curious, clean couple
looking to invite a hot female
into the bedroom for mutual
pleasure. Never been with a
woman before, but thinking
about it gets me hot.
C ur io u s Se xK i t te n, 2 4, g ,
# 10 29 1 5
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Savage Love
WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage
I’m an 18-year-old straight female. Two nights ago, I went to a party. My ex-
boyfriend was present, but my current boyfriend was not. I had several beers, and
while I wasn’t drunk, I was tipsy. I had to go to my car to get my cell phone, and my ex
offered to accompany me. When we got to the car, he pushed me against the car and
started making out with me. I tried to push him away and said, “No, I can’t” several
times. He kept trying to pull my pants down, and every time he did, I pulled them back
up. He took his dick out and tried again to pull down my pants. I know it sounds stu-
pid, but all I could get out were meek “nos” and “I can’ts.” I was afraid of a confronta-
tion because he and I have been friendly since we broke up. I eventually discontinued
my attempts to pull my pants back up because I figured the easiest way to get out of
this situation was to let him finish. He had sex with me. I wanted to cry the whole
time, but as much as I wanted to scream, “Stop! Get the fuck off of me!” I couldn’t get
the words out.
I called my boyfriend when I got home and told him what happened. He is angry
because he thinks I had a part in it. I don’t know how to make him understand how
many times I said no and how at first I physically stopped my ex from taking my
clothes off. My boyfriend and I have been through a lot together, and we talked about
getting married one day. I never wanted to cheat on him, and while I feel guilty about
what happened, I think he’s being harsh on me considering I succumbed to force.
I’ve apologized again and again, but I don’t know how to make things right. I still
don’t want a confrontation with the ex. I just want to forget about him and never see
him or speak to him again. I just want things to be okay again with my boyfriend. Is
there anything I can do or say to make him understand?
Date Rape Engenders Awful Depression
Understand that you were raped, DREAD — date-ish raped, acquaintance-ish raped,
gray-area-ish raped, blurry-booze-soaked-lines raped, and raped under circumstances
that would make bringing charges a futile exercise. But raped. Your ex kept coming at
you, and you were paralyzed by a set of inhibitions — a desire to avoid confrontation at
all costs (even the cost of your own violation), a desire to avoid making your victimizer
feel bad — that are pounded into the heads of girls and young women. Your ex exploited
this vulnerability. Your ex may not think he raped you since you finally “let him,” and
perhaps he interprets that as consent and so, distressingly, does your boyfriend. But
raped you were.
So what do you do now? I’d suggest a bit more contact with your ex. You need to
confront him — for your own sake, DREAD, but also for the sake of all other women he’s
going to encounter over the course of his life. If you can’t face him, call him. If you can’t
speak to him, write him (a letter, not an e-mail). Wherever he is right now, he’s rational-
izing away his responsibility for what happened. He may be telling himself that he was
drunk, that you were drunk, and that, sure, he may have been aggressive at first, but
that you came around and enjoyed it as much as he did. He needs to hear from you
that you regard — and, for what it’s worth, I regard — what happened as rape. Tell him
that he didn’t get away with it — that he raped you, you know it, and now he knows it.
Then tell him that if the circumstances were just a little less ambiguous, DREAD, that
you would be going to the police.
Hell, tell him you still might. Put the fear of God into him.
Then you need to confront the boyfriend: If your boyfriend can’t take your side,
DREAD, if he can’t see what really happened here, if he insists on victimizing you, too,
then you don’t need him in your life any more than you need your ex in your life.
I’m a 23-year-old gay dude from Vancouver. My boyfriend and I have been together
for four years. Thing is, he’s seriously letting himself go — gaining weight, enjoying
roomier pants. I drop hints about working out or eating better — but he gets offended
and becomes self-conscious. I want to be supportive and not care, but I do care and it’s
killing me. Had I known at 19 that he would be throwing away his hot body, I might have
reconsidered his LTR potential. Now, four years later, I’m stuck with a lovable fatty
who I’m having a hard time being intimate with.
Is this awful? Am I selfish? I love him, but I want to enjoy sex again. I have NOTHING
against fatties, Dan, I just don’t want to bed one.
Really Eating At Me
Drop the subtlety, REAM. No more faux-loving hints about the importance of diet
and exercise — he reacts negatively to that shit because he’s picking up on your dishon-
estly. You’re not concerned for his health, REAM, you’re concerned for your sex life and
what the death of your attraction to him means for this relationship. So give it to him
straight: You’re not attracted to fatties, which is why you pursued him four years ago,
and his weight gain is killing your sex life and threatening the survival of your relation-
ship. If he values this relationship, he’ll get his ass off the couch.
And now a note to the infuriated fatsophere: I’m not saying that REAM’s boyfriend is
unattractive because he’s heavier, or that heavy people aren’t or can’t be attractive, or
that all must forever maintain our “first-date weight” over the multidecade course of
relationship/marriage/whatever. But to destroy a large part of what attracted someone
to you early in a relationship — whether actively or through neglect — is to take your
partner for granted in a way that’s not okay. And that goes for a tight-bodied fag who
parks his ass on the couch because he’s got a boyfriend now — so, hey, why bother with
the gym? — and the BBW who wastes away to skin and bones after she lands an admirer.
A close gay friend recently seroconverted after months of barebacking and meth
use. He’s a successful professional with years of AIDS peer-education experience. My
immediate reaction was shock and anger. He claims that I am not a true friend because
I should hide my feelings and shower him with empathy and understanding. Is there
something wrong with me for feeling mad at my friend for his irresponsibility?
Old Fashioned Safe Sex Adherent
Let’s say you’ve got two friends. One gets hit by lightning, and the other plops his
sopping-wet ass down on a third rail. Do both friends — presuming both survive —
deserve your empathy and understanding, OFSSA? Of course. But one friend was elec-
trocuted while the other electrocuted his damn self. Friendship does not obligate you to
pretend that your friend who sat his ass down on the third rail wasn’t being idiotic and
self-destructive. Friendship, in fact, requires the opposite reaction.
Download the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at www.thestranger.com/savage.
mail@savagelove.net
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EUGENE WEEKLY JANUARY 8, 2009
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