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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 16, 2007)
Abbreviations: A Asian • B Black • Bi Bisexual • C Couple • Ch Christian • D Divorced • F Female • G Gay • H Hispanic HWP Height/ Weight proportionate • J Jewish • M Male • NA No alcohol • NAm Native American • ND No drugs • NS No smoking P Professional • S Single • W White • Wi Widowed • ISO In search of • LTR Long-term relationship Participants in Eugene Weekly Personals must be 18 years or older. To ensure your safety, carefully screen all responses. First meetings should occur in a public place and participants should not divulge addresses. Eugene Weekly does not screen or investigate individuals who place or respond to personals ads and makes no representation as to the character of these individuals. Eugene Weekly will not be responsible for the consequences of any interaction. Not all voice boxes contain voice greetings. OUT OF MISSION YARDSALE BABY BOY B CREATIVE WATCHERS Being kicked out of the Eugene Mission. Care to share? Please, we want to help. ☎ 1989 I saw you at a yard sale, you were with a little girl with braids buying sport and game magazines. If you remember me, call. ☎ 1942 Wow, what can I say, since I met you my life has changed. You’ve showed me new and dif- ferent things, and I can’t wait to see what comes next. XTINA Young, attractive couple seek- ing 21-35 the same to watch and be watched. Not a swap meet but friendly caresses and kisses. ☎ 1876 LIVELY FARM You filled your basket ever so carefully, not wanting to crush the precious jewels. We sipped, sampled and talked, not know- ing names. Just enjoying the bounty of summer. Meet again Sat. at Lively Farm, 2 ish? TATTOO PIC HIKING BUDDY ISO MATURE FEMALES I saw you in a pic getting a tat in last weeks weekly. You are sexy, we should meet some time and let me show you mine. ☎ 1940 Looking for bad ass women to go hiking, biking, running. Challenge conversation, and adventure. ☎ 1932 NATIVE AM. DANCERS ON THE BIKE PATH I saw you dancing at Cesar Chavez School & it was wonder- ful!! Thank you for being here, for sharing & inspiring, for a beautiful world. You: red helmet, scruffy cute blonde on bike I pass in the morning on my way to work. I said good morning and waved to you last week...single, din- ner? ☎ 1938 Woman, you’re the fire in my heart. Your nectar quenches my thirst. I desire no one but you. Your oldman is bound to all of yous by love. ☎ 1845 48 yo, attractive, fit single male, 5’8”, 175 lbs. STD free, squeaky clean, v-safe. ISO 50- 70 yo female, for pleasure and indoor fun. Large bust a plus. ☎ 1859 PITCHFORK KAT Hi Kat! How’’s that pitchfork working out? It’s Joe-met you at River Road 2nd hand store last Sat. You are ohhh so cute & intriguing! Single? Coffee/din- ner, hmm? Would love to see you again! ☎ 1953 WOMAN @ REI First time we met was a couple of months ago, you were on your way to Mt. Hood...we shared a moment. The second time, I was speechless. Another chance? ☎ 1950 RACE GIRL You smiled, I smiled. Coberg Half Marathon, Mt. Pisgah, the pool, frisbee golf course. You said you’d go running with me sometime. The next 85 years are open for me. KJ. ELAINE? FROM SF You: running towards base of driveway, wiping sweat, need- ing directions. Me: ran with you back over Hendricks Park, noticed your smile, want to “run” into you again! ☎ 1946 OCF CUPCAKES Caught several glimpses of you and your hot pink cup- cakes shirt several times. You were always surrounded by people and so was I. Want to frost some cupcakes together? ☎ 1933 WORKING AT PISGAH A couple weeks ago you helped the kids I babysit catch a snake. Now I see you all the time. I was wondering if you’d want to get together some- time. ☎ 1928 NICKI AT PC When I first saw you, I thought...could you possibly be any more gorgeous? Then you smiled and I knew. Would love to get to know you-black bean man. ☎ 1926 SONGBIRD SHELIA Sorry I missed you, there was some misunderstanding about the actual day; I showed up on a different day, lets try again. Jules. ☎ 1923 NINE YEARS WAITING Forever, deeply, profoundly altered by that moment between universes, in the cof- feeshop. Stupid and crazy with fear. Awed by your depth, beau- ty, still. I am so very sorry. All’s forgiven. ☎ 1944 SIERRA Just looking for sex. ☎ 1948 PLAYFUL COUPLE Couple ISO fit, alive, playful couple or women for potluck, playing or listening to music, hot tub and group/single mas- sage. Goal is to create safe, playful quality group. ☎ 1854 PRAISINGOLDERWOMEN Early 30’s male looking for older (50+) woman. Married or just a little hungry. HWP to slim a +. Me: considered very good look- ing. You: just need to call. ☎ 1951 FEMALE 4 PLY 40 something couple seeking female 4 ply and more, we are std free, UB2, fun caring people, not twisted, just want some spice. Want to play? ☎ 1945 3RD FRIEND Preferably a married woman who is interested in a pleasant time with 40ish couple with pleasure in mind. Discreet and fun. ☎ 1929 ATTRACTIVE COUPLE Attractive couple, mid 60’s, seeks other senior couples or ladies for swing parties and fun. Time is running out. Love, laugh, and live fulfilled. No regrets. ☎ 1924 MOTHER’S DELIGHT! SEX Sasquatch was great. After was better. You know I wasn’t kidding. Beers and toe curling? ☎ 1943 WOMAN If you are a hottie soccer mom, pregnant cutie, or a stay at home beauty looking for some fun day or night with an attractive, sexy guy...I will please. ☎ 1912 EXOTIC BODY MASSAGE Guaranteed pleasure. Young, very sexy, full D cup, 135 pounds. Call Brooke 541-979- 6889. DOMINATRIX Kinky’ Miss E 543-8558. A PLEASANT SURPRISE Sensual, busty, pretty, atten- tive, classy. Discreet. Wanna play? Kristi, 337-7847. I'M EASY Easy to place, easy to respond. Look deep to find your desires. LOVELY LADIES Sexy, sweet, and seductive. Discreet, classy, and profes- sional. Your pleasure is our business. Desiree’s Escorts. 5 4 1 - 4 3 1 - 7 0 6 5 , www.desireesescorts.com. Indulge in your fantasies! MADISON Redheaded, BBW, 42DD, 200 lbs. Sensual Erotic Xtacy. Mon- Sat, 10am-10pm. Incall only. 988-0562. www.eugeneweekly.com • Divorce • Custody • Domestic Partners • Child Support $PPQFS “Low Cost, Free Consultation, Payment Plans” Jason D. Castanza 259 East 5th, Suite 200-f • Eugene, OR. 97401 (541) 221-2595 genuine connections % & 4 * ( / 1 ) 0 5 0 ( 3 " 1 ) : Savage Love WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage I am a single guy… never good with women… not many girlfriends… I didn’t have sex till I was 31… but all my life I’ve had this strange fetish… I love to be shampooed with lots of lather and suds, suds in my eyes, nose, and mouth. I have been trying to find a female partner to shampoo me… I am a big, hairy guy and I’ve been told I’m scary looking… I offered hair salons money just to shampoo me… not one would… can you direct me to a place where I can get my fetish… I hope you can help me… why am I bad with women… maybe I’m gay…. Help Me Out I’m a 25-year-old male who has no ability to talk to women. I am attracted to women and beat it looking at porn of women, but I have only had sex once and I was so drunk that I don’t know if I lost my virginity or not. I think about hiring an escort, but I would hate myself even more if I did that. Lately, I have been thinking I might be gay and that’s why I am so inept with women. Is this how it happens? Loser Might Be Gay Hello, straight boys? Did you learn anything from Will & Grace? Did we suffer through eight years of that shit for nothing? Gay men and straight women get along like gang-fucking-busters, as everyone on earth and her gay best friend should know by now. And yet I’m constantly getting e-mail from inept straight guys who’ve convinced themselves that homosexuality is some sort of fallback sexual orientation for guys with no social skills. HMO and LMBG: If being an inept heterosexual made a man gay, then gay men would not com- pose a measly 3 percent of the population. We would rule the fucking world—and underpopulation, not global warming, would be the biggest threat to the survival of our species. Women would have to be inseminated with semen collected from spittoons set out in Broadway theaters, major-league- baseball stadiums, congressional-page dormitories, Vatican City, and other places gay men are known to congregate. You’re not fags, HMO and LMBG, you’re socially maladapted straight boys. In other words, completely normal. Please make a note of it. Then ask your friends, if you’ve got any, what you’re doing wrong and tell them to be brutal. Take their feedback to heart and work on your social skills, personal hygiene, appearance—whatever they tell you the problem is. And if all else fails, get obscenely wealthy. Gina Gershon and Monica Seles did not date software billionaire Paul Allen for the scintillating conversation about his collection of Doctor Who memorabilia. And HMO? There are two kinds of women who will indulge your shampoo fetish: an indulgent woman who loves you and wants to make you happy, or an indulgent sex worker who loves your money and wants to make you happy enough to part with it. If you’re not having any luck landing the former, go find a sympathetic, understanding latter. But for God’s sake, stop lurking in hair salons, HMO, because that will make you gay. I am a 23-year-old student who just got dumped by my girlfriend after a year together. We argued forever about why it ended, but the issue that really stood out was this: I love feet! I like to think I’m a regular guy like everyone else, but when it comes to sex, nothing drives me wilder than feet. Not like those porns out there that do the weirdest shit with them—no, I’m just turned on by beautiful women wearing sandals. I can’t help it! My ex has beautiful feet and every time we were together my main priority was getting her toes in my mouth, licking her soles, and kissing her ankles. Is that wrong? Can this really be a justifiable reason to end a relationship that lasted a year? Her Left Foot Lover So it sounds like she was plenty GGG—willing to wear the sandals, willing to let you suck her toes, lick her soles, kiss her ankles. Good, giving, game. But your letter left me wondering what she enjoyed. What turned her on? How did you indulge her? When were you GGG? That’s missing from your letter, HLFL; I’m thinking it’s because it was missing in your relationship. If you neglected her needs while she indulged your fetish, then the feeling of your tongue on her toes eventually ceased to be a delightful, or delightfully kinky, sensation. Damp toes became a reminder that she—a good, giving, and game girlfriend—was sadly stuck with a thoughtless foot fetishist for a boyfriend, a man so fixated on his own precious sexual priorities that he completely neglected her desires. And that’s a completely justifiable reason to end a relationship. I’m a 24-year-old male, not too kinky, not too vanilla. When I was 18, I was dating a 16-year-old girl and we had a lot of good sex. In fact, we took pictures. Now I’m planning to become a schoolteacher. Should I get rid of these pics or keep them as a memento of some of the best sex I’ve ever had? Stumped About My Sex Teenagers have been prosecuted for possessing pornographic pictures of themselves, SAMS, the ridiculous fruits of our current hysteria over young people and technology. A schoolteacher with dirty pics of a 16-year-old—even old pics of a girlfriend—is taking a huge risk. Lose track of a CD you burned, forget that they’re on a computer that you get serviced, and your career will be over before you have a chance to explain. If you can’t bear to get rid of them, you should make some easy-to-keep-track-of prints and lock ’em up. The first time I had sex, I didn’t use a condom. I was drunk. Not unusual for me. After the event, my upper thighs were covered with what appeared to be zits. They also appeared on my sack a little. It scared the hell out of me, but I’m young and am afraid of going to the doctor. The thigh zits went away quickly with no lasting signs, but the sack ones have stuck around. What the hell is this and do I need to be afraid? Help An Innocent Fool Sounds like it could be molluscum—a viral infection that can be transmitted sexually and sometimes causes raised, zitlike bumps on thighs and butts and sacks—but you know what, HAIF? I can’t inspect your sack via e-mail. Even if I could—and I’m not saying I would if I could—I wouldn’t be able to treat your molluscum because I’m not a doctor. So you’re still going to have to march your pansy ass off to a doctor, young man, and get an STI screening. (To find a Planned Parenthood office near you, go to www.plannedparenthood.com.) And you might want to do it soon, HAIF, as molluscum can spread to your arms, legs, face, eyelids, lips, mouth, and, uh, kanga- roos, if you have any of those around. CALL NOW! Download Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at www.thestranger.com/savage. mail@savagelove.net 541.434.0400 SAVAGE LOVE IS PROUDLY SPONSORED BY: Portland: 503.972.9066 Other Cities: 1.800.300.0300 FREE TRIAL CODE 2630 Text CHAT to 55255 $4.99/10 min. 18+ AUGUST 16, 2007 47
