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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (April 13, 2006)
See something you like? Respond to an ad! Call: 1-888-652-6385 v m A accepted or 1-900-226-2436, $1.89/min. 18 or older. To respond to a Blind Box: Mail a letter to Eugene Weekly, 1251 Lincoln St. Eugene, OR 97401. Attention the letter to the Blind Box name. LOOKING FOR ... OUTDOOR PLAYMATE Sought for fit, athletic, bright, fetching, avid outdoors woman, 44. Hiking, backpacking, back- country skiing, road-cycling and touring, sharing food, fun and friends. Prefer self-aware, under 50, no major parental commitments. ☎ 7837 STRONG ENOUGH I want someone to have fun with when my boyfriend is out playing with his “friends.” Open and honest. Fun, beautiful blonde seeks attractive, inter- esting, resourceful, humorous, optimistic and confident. 30- 45. NS. ☎ 7819 WEEKEND L.A.R.P. Seeks hursuite male to come to my emotional rescue. ☎ 7816 AJAJAJAJAJ We are looking for a guy with particularly “Carl” characteris- tics. Awesome 7. Okay if already married. Apparently, we are adulterous. Must save us from the peaches. Seeking Sudan. For birthdays we request coupons. ☎ 7769 LIFELONG LOVE 41, attractive, college grad. relocating to Eugene. Loves outdoors, animals, plays, read- ing, walks in park. Easy going, down to earth, honest, loyal. Looking for sincere relation- ship only. Nonsmoking. Flexible. ☎ 7756 KINDA ODD Who am I looking for? He’s nice, friendly and fun, 40-50, looking for an exclusive rela- tionship. He may be a doctor or healing professional...maybe a carpenter, maybe a teacher or in politics? He genuinely likes women, likes music (coun- try, classical, Coldplay?), travel, going to dinner and movies, or hiking in Oregon’s forests. Is this you? Send email to ore- gondreamer@teleport.com P.S. You probably also like fishing, and own a nice friendly dog. 40, 6’, 170, healthy, fit, kinda odd. Likes music, herb, curvy girls with hairy legs, strap-ons, and? Seeking romance with fit, healthy, F, 33-55. ☎ 7780 ARTISTIC TYPE SWM, hot, experienced, in-need of tender or heated sexual contact with 18-45 F. Into any- thing, quick or long, great with my hands and tongue! Call me. ☎ 7773 WILLING TO PLEASE ISO mature woman, 35+, seek- ing pleasure from attentive, discreet, athletic built male. STD free, drug free. Nothing permanent just good, clean, safe, discreet pleasure! Bonus points, large bust, lingerie. ☎ 7778 DISCREET ADVENTURE Looking for another artistic type for companionship and love. Must be emotionally and financially together, kind hearted, spirited, adventure- some, playful, healthy, aging gracefully. 55-65. ☎ 7750 PINKIE Whole, beautiful DPF, 61, seek- ing tall, handsome, bright, fun, playful, thoughtful cowboy who is the kindest spirit, finest lover, tenderest friend, best fit for coming away with me to the moon on a pony named Magic. Want ethics, honesty, devotion, “eternal flame.” Write Blind Box: “Pinkie.” ✍ TAKE A CHANCE SWPF 55 years young, blue eyes, 5’4”, HWP, ISO fun, laugh- ter and romance with a well adjusted, reliable guy who lives for today. NS, ND. ☎ 7743 JUST CURIOUS Attractive SWF seeks attractive non-smoking SM 35-45. I enjoy music, outdoors, dining, movies, kids, pets. Friends, maybe more. What’s new in Eugene? ☎ 7709 SEEKING HOT WOMAN 37, WM seeking older woman, open-minded, like movies, out- doors, fishing. ☎ 7821 LOOKING FOR FRIEND 46, SWM, ISO kind, beautiful, warm, caring woman. Sexy intelligent person, searching for my best friend and soul- mate. NS, ND. WP who like to hike, fish, camp, dance, fine dining, plays, concerts, travel and rafting. 26-56, fit, physical condition. ☎ 7842 EUGENE Monogamous male wants one good lady. You also monoga- mous. You enjoy life, walks, din- ing, dance, home, intimacy, friends, love. ☎ 7811 TAKE A SHOT AT ME WEIRDOS UNITE I’m a SWM, 33 yo, 260 lbs, 6’5”. I’m into many outdoor activi- ties, music, drawing and trips on the coast. I’m hoping to meet a neat, down to earth woman, 21-43, who wants to just be cool and enjoy life. ☎ 7834 Mid 20s lunatic fringe writer seeking intellectual woman for long conversations into the night over coffee. Bizarre activities and goofy fun. 25-35, no other limitations. If you’re looking for something beyond the usual bizzaritty of life, I’m your guy. ☎ 7825 COMMON? HARDLY! Bright, funny, sweet, honest, monogamous. 5’6”, trim, brown hair, green eyes. Seeks easy going, petite, 30-40 sweetie for movies, dinners, road trips, thrift stores, gener- al clowning. ☎ 7831 SEEKS OLDER LOVER SWM late forties, 5’10”, 220 lbs, handsome, funny, outdoorsy, employed, financially secure. Not seeking wife or mother. Seeking a fun, mature lady for quiet evenings, dinner, old movies. Linn County. ☎ 7829 WANT TO JOIN ME? 44, 5’9”, 180 lbs. Cook, grower of things, likes dogs, dragons, anything physical. Need part- ner for conversation, events, places, potential cuddler. Expecting nothing, want all things. Want to join me? ☎ 7824 ISO NATURAL WOMAN If you don’t wear makeup, lets talk. I’m 46 yo, long hair, live in the woods. I want a partner share crime with. Love, romance, playful or whatever. NS. ☎ 7810 FEMALE FRIENDSHIP Maryland gentleman looking for friendship to wine and dine and interested in digital pho- tography. ☎ 7805 LONG BROWN HAIR SWM, 47, 6’, 245. Loves out- doors, river rafting, ATV, rock hunting, mushroom picking, and lots more. Homecooked meals, cuddling, movies and in town activities. Open to any relationship. NS. ☎ 7786 55 YO VIRGIN Or so it seems. Wooden ya like a guy that’s keen? Let’s have a soda and try not to freak when you discover I’m kinda hand- some for a skinny geek. SWChM. ☎ 7818 HIPPIE(ISH)? Attractive WM with houses and land ISO earthy, counter cul- tural, hippie or outdoorsy female, 20s-30s. Plus for NS, vegetarian. ☎ 7784 SUNSHINE DAYDREAM SWM, kind, liberal. Desires fine hippie type for kicked back romance. You love music: GD, DMB, SCI, and happy to chill but ready to fest. Self sharing, earth caring honey. ☎ 7764 NICE GUYS Are not extinct. I’m an out- doorsy, funny, well-educated professional. Passionate about hiking, gardening, reading. Young in my 50s. You, 45+, smart, earthy, in good shape. ☎ 7765 SEEKING PLAYMATE The boy in me wants to skip and play frisbee. The adult, 50s, wants to croon and spoon. Hike and bike. You get all three for the price of one. ☎ 7762 EXTRA YOUTH I am very young looking for 51 and SM. Searching for similar attractive and youthful. Must love music, hikes and creativity. LTR preferred, not rigid. ☎ 7747 A NEW BEGINNING ISO kind beautiful woman. New arrival on the Corvallis, Albany singles scene seeks someone to watch movies at the Darkside cinema with, dine with, laugh with, and just have a good time with. Genuine smile, bright eyes and a believ- er in true love a plus. Sarcastic romantics gladly accepted. 35- 48. ☎ 7761 KIND, HONEST MAN Intelligent, attractive, sensual, financially secure, lonely SWM, 5’8’’, 155 lbs seeks warmheart- ed woman, under 65, any eth- nicity. My interests include organic gardening, music, dancing, reading, films, spiritu- ality, nature, community, sim- ple living, learning Spanish, Mexican vacations, social change. ☎ 7759 WABISABI Above board, kind, sincere, playful, 54, tall, WPM, appreci- ates nature’s beauty, enjoys most outdoor activities, cul- tural events, dancing and trav- el. ISO conversation, chem- istry, play, intimacy and growth with budding rose. ☎ 7758 EUGENE MAN What’s it take to get a girl- friend in this town? I’m clean, I work hard, NS, ND, no drugs. Drivers license, no STDs. I have a 15 yo daughter. She’s very nice and needs a role model. I can’t have any more kids. Eugene Man. ☎ 7748 I’M VERY ORAL SWM seeking petite SBF for some clean safe fun. I’m very oral, you be too. Call, let’s have some fun. ☎ 7715 BY ROB BREZSNY ARIES (March 21-April 19): When I was a kid, I read Highlights magazine. My favorite feature was the section that asked Zen-like questions like “Can you laugh and cry at the same time?” or “If you were a talking parrot, what words would you want to learn?” For this week’s horoscope, I’ve borrowed the spirit of that old source of inspi- ration. May the following passage incite your raw wonder and feral innocence. “What’s more beautiful, the smell of an orange or the sight of a green hill in spring? Under what circumstances might you eat dessert before the main course? Have you ever seen a statue wink? Is it possible to fall up instead of down? Describe how you’d catch a dragonfly without hurting it. Tell a story that’s half-true and half-lies. Can you grow brain cells just by thinking you want to?” LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Dear Rob: I have to say that you unfailingly tune in to my manic and riotous subconscious screams every single week and help me transform them into something beautiful, fresh, and worthy of serious amusement. How do you do it? Can you teach me how to perform the same service for myself? — Leo Longing for Self-Mastery.” Dear Future Self-Master: You may not realize it yet, but in the past few weeks you Leos have acquired scads of data that could provide excellent fodder in your quest for self-mastery. I suggest that you pore over your recent past and gather up the rich clues. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): On the third anniversary of America’s of you crawling up out of a deep hole. I’ve even had two dreams with that theme. Each time, you seem to defy gravity as you climb by clawing at the sides of the hole and pulling yourself higher and high- er until you finally emerge into daylight. Why am I having these fan- tasies? Are they a metaphor for your life right now? I shudder to think that you’ve been in an abyss as profound as the one I’ve been seeing, though I’m ecstatic about the prospect that you’re about to escape. invasion of Iraq, many protests took place. But they were mild, not wild — more like Sunday picnics than the fierce mass demonstrations that raged in 2003. New York’s rally drew a mere 1,000, Washington’s 300. The march near where I live was a small affair led by two octoge- narian women riding cream-colored scooters. They snacked on cook- ies and sang “This Little Light of Mine.” I was shocked and awed by the lack of passion, especially since now it’s even more appallingly obvi- ous how stupid the war is than it was in the beginning. Don’t you dare allow a similar apathy to creep in to your own fight for justice, Virgo. For the sake of your future, you’ve got to redouble your righteous, ingenious anger. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The Chinese poet Yuan Mei (1716-1798) LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The coming week should include a lot of TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Lately I have this recurring vision was heavily influenced by Buddhism but was also skeptical toward it. He was eager to learn from the very tradition he criticized. The book of his selected poems is entitled I Don’t Bow to Buddhas. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, this is an excellent time for you to follow Yuan Mei’s lead. Are you smart and subtle enough to practice his split-minded approach? I think you are. Try this: Intensify your love and respect for the ideas you’re inspired by, even as you explore your doubts about them and subject them to rigorous test- ing. CANCER (June 21-July 22): “What astrological transit did Galileo have when he first turned a telescope toward the heavens?” asks Richard Tarnas, author of Cosmos and Psyche. “What transit was coming to bear on Betty Friedan when she conceived of writing her seminal book The Feminine Mystique?” he continues. “What transit was Sigmund Freud experiencing when he had the breakdown-cum- breakthrough that propelled him into his life’s work?” There’s not enough space to answer those questions here, Cancerian. I invoke them because I want to suggest that you’re currently basking in cos- mic influences that could hatch a quantum leap with resemblances to those of Galileo, Freidan, and Freud. back and forth, give and take, and to and fro. It will be a favorable time to jump into spirited debates and seek clarification through good-natured arguing. Dynamics that might feel uncomfortably adver- sarial at any other time could be invigorating now. In fact, I encourage you to bring up touchy subjects that everyone has been avoiding, because it’s likely you’ll finally be able to deal with them in candid and constructive ways. Your power symbol for the week is a child’s seesaw. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Dear Dr. Brezsny: Usually I gobble up your words. They’re soul food that nourishes me for days. But last week’s ‘scope gave me indigestion. Was there a hidden meaning? Can I coax a deeper interpretation out of you? I promise I’ll give you the secret handshake and tell you the secret password. (It’s “swordfish.”) Would it help if I told you I once drank Red Bull from Maya Angelou’s slipper and that I’ve gathered gossip about you that thus far I’ve cho- sen not to reveal? Help me out.—-Scorpio Who Hates Secrets Unless I’m Keeping Them. Dear Scorpio: I think the problem is that you’ve been keeping so many secrets for so long that you’ve come to assume that every situation is crammed with secrets. The truth is, this is a highly unsecretive time for you. You should proceed as if there’s no good reason to hide anything and as if everyone is willing to reveal them- selves freely. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “The wisdom of this year is the folly of the next.” So said the fortune cookie message I got last night when I was having dinner at a Chinese restaurant with two Sagittarian friends. As I read my oracle aloud, one of my companions said, “Ain’t that the truth!” and the other barked, “You got that right!” I take this to mean that it’s my duty to share my fortune cookie oracle with you. What wisdom from last year is now being revealed as folly? And what are you going to do about it? CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In the Bible’s Book of Exodus 34:14, God says His name is “Jealous.” Literally. Why isn’t this fact more widely discussed by people who care about religion? In his book 50 Things You’re Not Supposed to Know, Russ Kick says it’s because America’s Pledge of Allegiance would have to be altered to say, “one nation, under Jealous,” and would lead to a redesign of U.S. currency, in which the motto “In God we Trust” became “In Jealous we trust.” Your assignment, Capricorn, is to withdraw your support for any deity that calls himself or herself “Jealous” — even as you also renounce any impulse in you that indulges in jealousy. It’s time to drive home to yourself how insane it is to compare your life to anyone else’s. You’re perfect the way you are. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Years ago I had a girlfriend who was a performance artist. At Easter time every year, she did a show in which she walked barefoot on top of a spiral row of 22 colored, uncooked eggs without breaking more than a couple of them. Being 5’ 3” and 102 pounds helped her accomplish this semi-miraculous feat, but it still required great skill and concentration. I believe you have a comparable task ahead of you, Aquarius. Better start practicing. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Here are your words of power for the coming week, Pisces: “finagle, serendipitous, tinker, adlib, revise, crafty, balance, rectify.” I urge you to carry out actions that embody the spirit of all those terms. Once you do, I believe you’ll be in perfect alignment with the cosmic forces coming to bear on you, and will therefore have prevailed upon those cosmic forces to provide you with the metaphorical equivalent of a skeleton key, universal pass- word, or Swiss army knife. HOMEWORK : Compare the person you are now with the per- son you were two years ago. Make a list of the three most important differences. Testify at www.freewillastrology.com You can call for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope: 1-900-950-7700 • $1.99 per minute. Touchtone phone 18 & over c/s 612-373-9785 42 APRIL 13, 2006
