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v m A accepted or 1-900-226-2436, $1.89/min. 18 or older. To respond to a Blind Box: Mail a letter to Eugene Weekly, 1251 Lincoln St. Eugene, OR 97401. Attention the letter to the Blind Box name.
LOOKING FOR ...
OUTDOOR PLAYMATE
Sought for fit, athletic, bright,
fetching, avid outdoors woman,
44. Hiking, backpacking, back-
country skiing, road-cycling
and touring, sharing food, fun
and friends. Prefer self-aware,
under 50, no major parental
commitments. ☎ 7837
STRONG ENOUGH
I want someone to have fun
with when my boyfriend is out
playing with his “friends.” Open
and honest. Fun, beautiful
blonde seeks attractive, inter-
esting, resourceful, humorous,
optimistic and confident. 30-
45. NS. ☎ 7819
WEEKEND L.A.R.P.
Seeks hursuite male to come to
my emotional rescue. ☎ 7816
AJAJAJAJAJ
We are looking for a guy with
particularly “Carl” characteris-
tics. Awesome 7. Okay if already
married. Apparently, we are
adulterous. Must save us from
the peaches. Seeking Sudan.
For birthdays we request
coupons. ☎ 7769
LIFELONG LOVE
41, attractive, college grad.
relocating to Eugene. Loves
outdoors, animals, plays, read-
ing, walks in park. Easy going,
down to earth, honest, loyal.
Looking for sincere relation-
ship only. Nonsmoking.
Flexible. ☎ 7756
KINDA ODD
Who am I looking for? He’s
nice, friendly and fun, 40-50,
looking for an exclusive rela-
tionship. He may be a doctor
or healing professional...maybe
a carpenter, maybe a teacher
or in politics? He genuinely
likes women, likes music (coun-
try, classical, Coldplay?), travel,
going to dinner and movies, or
hiking in Oregon’s forests. Is
this you? Send email to ore-
gondreamer@teleport.com P.S.
You probably also like fishing,
and own a nice friendly dog.
40, 6’, 170, healthy, fit, kinda
odd. Likes music, herb, curvy
girls with hairy legs, strap-ons,
and? Seeking romance with fit,
healthy, F, 33-55. ☎ 7780
ARTISTIC TYPE
SWM, hot, experienced, in-need
of tender or heated sexual
contact with 18-45 F. Into any-
thing, quick or long, great with
my hands and tongue! Call me.
☎ 7773
WILLING TO PLEASE
ISO mature woman, 35+, seek-
ing pleasure from attentive,
discreet, athletic built male.
STD free, drug free. Nothing
permanent just good, clean,
safe, discreet pleasure! Bonus
points, large bust, lingerie. ☎
7778
DISCREET ADVENTURE
Looking for another artistic
type for companionship and
love. Must be emotionally and
financially together, kind
hearted, spirited, adventure-
some, playful, healthy, aging
gracefully. 55-65. ☎ 7750
PINKIE
Whole, beautiful DPF, 61, seek-
ing tall, handsome, bright, fun,
playful, thoughtful cowboy who
is the kindest spirit, finest
lover, tenderest friend, best fit
for coming away with me to the
moon on a pony named Magic.
Want ethics, honesty, devotion,
“eternal flame.” Write Blind
Box: “Pinkie.” ✍
TAKE A CHANCE
SWPF 55 years young, blue
eyes, 5’4”, HWP, ISO fun, laugh-
ter and romance with a well
adjusted, reliable guy who lives
for today. NS, ND. ☎ 7743
JUST CURIOUS
Attractive SWF seeks attractive
non-smoking SM 35-45. I enjoy
music, outdoors, dining, movies,
kids, pets. Friends, maybe more.
What’s new in Eugene? ☎ 7709
SEEKING HOT WOMAN
37, WM seeking older woman,
open-minded, like movies, out-
doors, fishing. ☎ 7821
LOOKING FOR FRIEND
46, SWM, ISO kind, beautiful,
warm, caring woman. Sexy
intelligent person, searching
for my best friend and soul-
mate. NS, ND. WP who like to
hike, fish, camp, dance, fine
dining, plays, concerts, travel
and rafting. 26-56, fit, physical
condition. ☎ 7842
EUGENE
Monogamous male wants one
good lady. You also monoga-
mous. You enjoy life, walks, din-
ing, dance, home, intimacy,
friends, love. ☎ 7811
TAKE A SHOT AT ME
WEIRDOS UNITE
I’m a SWM, 33 yo, 260 lbs, 6’5”.
I’m into many outdoor activi-
ties, music, drawing and trips
on the coast. I’m hoping to
meet a neat, down to earth
woman, 21-43, who wants to
just be cool and enjoy life. ☎
7834
Mid 20s lunatic fringe writer
seeking intellectual woman for
long conversations into the
night over coffee. Bizarre
activities and goofy fun. 25-35,
no other limitations. If you’re
looking for something beyond
the usual bizzaritty of life, I’m
your guy. ☎ 7825
COMMON? HARDLY!
Bright, funny, sweet, honest,
monogamous. 5’6”, trim,
brown hair, green eyes. Seeks
easy going, petite, 30-40
sweetie for movies, dinners,
road trips, thrift stores, gener-
al clowning. ☎ 7831
SEEKS OLDER LOVER
SWM late forties, 5’10”, 220 lbs,
handsome, funny, outdoorsy,
employed, financially secure.
Not seeking wife or mother.
Seeking a fun, mature lady for
quiet evenings, dinner, old
movies. Linn County. ☎ 7829
WANT TO JOIN ME?
44, 5’9”, 180 lbs. Cook, grower
of things, likes dogs, dragons,
anything physical. Need part-
ner for conversation, events,
places, potential cuddler.
Expecting nothing, want all
things. Want to join me? ☎
7824
ISO NATURAL WOMAN
If you don’t wear makeup, lets
talk. I’m 46 yo, long hair, live in
the woods. I want a partner
share crime with. Love,
romance, playful or whatever.
NS. ☎ 7810
FEMALE FRIENDSHIP
Maryland gentleman looking
for friendship to wine and dine
and interested in digital pho-
tography. ☎ 7805
LONG BROWN HAIR
SWM, 47, 6’, 245. Loves out-
doors, river rafting, ATV, rock
hunting, mushroom picking,
and lots more. Homecooked
meals, cuddling, movies and in
town activities. Open to any
relationship. NS. ☎ 7786
55 YO VIRGIN
Or so it seems. Wooden ya like
a guy that’s keen? Let’s have a
soda and try not to freak when
you discover I’m kinda hand-
some for a skinny geek.
SWChM. ☎ 7818
HIPPIE(ISH)?
Attractive WM with houses and
land ISO earthy, counter cul-
tural, hippie or outdoorsy
female, 20s-30s. Plus for NS,
vegetarian. ☎ 7784
SUNSHINE DAYDREAM
SWM, kind, liberal. Desires fine
hippie type for kicked back
romance. You love music: GD,
DMB, SCI, and happy to chill but
ready to fest. Self sharing,
earth caring honey. ☎ 7764
NICE GUYS
Are not extinct. I’m an out-
doorsy, funny, well-educated
professional. Passionate about
hiking, gardening, reading.
Young in my 50s. You, 45+,
smart, earthy, in good shape.
☎ 7765
SEEKING PLAYMATE
The boy in me wants to skip
and play frisbee. The adult,
50s, wants to croon and spoon.
Hike and bike. You get all three
for the price of one. ☎ 7762
EXTRA YOUTH
I am very young looking for 51
and SM. Searching for similar
attractive and youthful. Must
love music, hikes and creativity.
LTR preferred, not rigid. ☎ 7747
A NEW BEGINNING
ISO kind beautiful woman. New
arrival on the Corvallis, Albany
singles scene seeks someone
to watch movies at the
Darkside cinema with, dine
with, laugh with, and just have
a good time with. Genuine
smile, bright eyes and a believ-
er in true love a plus. Sarcastic
romantics gladly accepted. 35-
48. ☎ 7761
KIND, HONEST MAN
Intelligent, attractive, sensual,
financially secure, lonely SWM,
5’8’’, 155 lbs seeks warmheart-
ed woman, under 65, any eth-
nicity. My interests include
organic gardening, music,
dancing, reading, films, spiritu-
ality, nature, community, sim-
ple living, learning Spanish,
Mexican vacations, social
change. ☎ 7759
WABISABI
Above board, kind, sincere,
playful, 54, tall, WPM, appreci-
ates nature’s beauty, enjoys
most outdoor activities, cul-
tural events, dancing and trav-
el. ISO conversation, chem-
istry, play, intimacy and
growth with budding rose. ☎
7758
EUGENE MAN
What’s it take to get a girl-
friend in this town? I’m clean, I
work hard, NS, ND, no drugs.
Drivers license, no STDs. I have
a 15 yo daughter. She’s very
nice and needs a role model. I
can’t have any more kids.
Eugene Man. ☎ 7748
I’M VERY ORAL
SWM seeking petite SBF for
some clean safe fun. I’m very
oral, you be too. Call, let’s have
some fun. ☎ 7715
BY ROB BREZSNY
ARIES (March 21-April 19): When I was a kid, I read Highlights
magazine. My favorite feature was the section that asked Zen-like
questions like “Can you laugh and cry at the same time?” or “If you
were a talking parrot, what words would you want to learn?” For this
week’s horoscope, I’ve borrowed the spirit of that old source of inspi-
ration. May the following passage incite your raw wonder and feral
innocence. “What’s more beautiful, the smell of an orange or the
sight of a green hill in spring? Under what circumstances might you
eat dessert before the main course? Have you ever seen a statue
wink? Is it possible to fall up instead of down? Describe how you’d
catch a dragonfly without hurting it. Tell a story that’s half-true and
half-lies. Can you grow brain cells just by thinking you want to?”
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Dear Rob: I have to say that you unfailingly
tune in to my manic and riotous subconscious screams every single
week and help me transform them into something beautiful, fresh,
and worthy of serious amusement. How do you do it? Can you teach
me how to perform the same service for myself? — Leo Longing for
Self-Mastery.” Dear Future Self-Master: You may not realize it yet, but
in the past few weeks you Leos have acquired scads of data that could
provide excellent fodder in your quest for self-mastery. I suggest that
you pore over your recent past and gather up the rich clues.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): On the third anniversary of America’s
of you crawling up out of a deep hole. I’ve even had two dreams with
that theme. Each time, you seem to defy gravity as you climb by
clawing at the sides of the hole and pulling yourself higher and high-
er until you finally emerge into daylight. Why am I having these fan-
tasies? Are they a metaphor for your life right now? I shudder to
think that you’ve been in an abyss as profound as the one I’ve been
seeing, though I’m ecstatic about the prospect that you’re about to
escape.
invasion of Iraq, many protests took place. But they were mild, not
wild — more like Sunday picnics than the fierce mass demonstrations
that raged in 2003. New York’s rally drew a mere 1,000, Washington’s
300. The march near where I live was a small affair led by two octoge-
narian women riding cream-colored scooters. They snacked on cook-
ies and sang “This Little Light of Mine.” I was shocked and awed by the
lack of passion, especially since now it’s even more appallingly obvi-
ous how stupid the war is than it was in the beginning. Don’t you dare
allow a similar apathy to creep in to your own fight for justice, Virgo.
For the sake of your future, you’ve got to redouble your righteous,
ingenious anger.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The Chinese poet Yuan Mei (1716-1798)
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The coming week should include a lot of
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Lately I have this recurring vision
was heavily influenced by Buddhism but was also skeptical toward it.
He was eager to learn from the very tradition he criticized. The book
of his selected poems is entitled I Don’t Bow to Buddhas. According
to my analysis of the astrological omens, this is an excellent time for
you to follow Yuan Mei’s lead. Are you smart and subtle enough to
practice his split-minded approach? I think you are. Try this: Intensify
your love and respect for the ideas you’re inspired by, even as you
explore your doubts about them and subject them to rigorous test-
ing.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): “What astrological transit did
Galileo have when he first turned a telescope toward the heavens?”
asks Richard Tarnas, author of Cosmos and Psyche. “What transit was
coming to bear on Betty Friedan when she conceived of writing her
seminal book The Feminine Mystique?” he continues. “What transit
was Sigmund Freud experiencing when he had the breakdown-cum-
breakthrough that propelled him into his life’s work?” There’s not
enough space to answer those questions here, Cancerian. I invoke
them because I want to suggest that you’re currently basking in cos-
mic influences that could hatch a quantum leap with resemblances to
those of Galileo, Freidan, and Freud.
back and forth, give and take, and to and fro. It will be a favorable
time to jump into spirited debates and seek clarification through
good-natured arguing. Dynamics that might feel uncomfortably adver-
sarial at any other time could be invigorating now. In fact, I encourage
you to bring up touchy subjects that everyone has been avoiding,
because it’s likely you’ll finally be able to deal with them in candid and
constructive ways. Your power symbol for the week is a child’s seesaw.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Dear Dr. Brezsny: Usually I gobble
up your words. They’re soul food that nourishes me for days. But last
week’s ‘scope gave me indigestion. Was there a hidden meaning? Can I
coax a deeper interpretation out of you? I promise I’ll give you the
secret handshake and tell you the secret password. (It’s “swordfish.”)
Would it help if I told you I once drank Red Bull from Maya Angelou’s
slipper and that I’ve gathered gossip about you that thus far I’ve cho-
sen not to reveal? Help me out.—-Scorpio Who Hates Secrets Unless I’m
Keeping Them. Dear Scorpio: I think the problem is that you’ve been
keeping so many secrets for so long that you’ve come to assume that
every situation is crammed with secrets. The truth is, this is a highly
unsecretive time for you. You should proceed as if there’s no good
reason to hide anything and as if everyone is willing to reveal them-
selves freely.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “The wisdom of this year is
the folly of the next.” So said the fortune cookie message I got last
night when I was having dinner at a Chinese restaurant with two
Sagittarian friends. As I read my oracle aloud, one of my companions
said, “Ain’t that the truth!” and the other barked, “You got that right!”
I take this to mean that it’s my duty to share my fortune cookie oracle
with you. What wisdom from last year is now being revealed as folly?
And what are you going to do about it?
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In the Bible’s Book of Exodus
34:14, God says His name is “Jealous.” Literally. Why isn’t this fact more
widely discussed by people who care about religion? In his book 50
Things You’re Not Supposed to Know, Russ Kick says it’s because
America’s Pledge of Allegiance would have to be altered to say, “one
nation, under Jealous,” and would lead to a redesign of U.S. currency,
in which the motto “In God we Trust” became “In Jealous we trust.”
Your assignment, Capricorn, is to withdraw your support for any deity
that calls himself or herself “Jealous” — even as you also renounce
any impulse in you that indulges in jealousy. It’s time to drive home to
yourself how insane it is to compare your life to anyone else’s. You’re
perfect the way you are.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Years ago I had a girlfriend who
was a performance artist. At Easter time every year, she did a show in
which she walked barefoot on top of a spiral row of 22 colored,
uncooked eggs without breaking more than a couple of them. Being 5’
3” and 102 pounds helped her accomplish this semi-miraculous feat,
but it still required great skill and concentration. I believe you have a
comparable task ahead of you, Aquarius. Better start practicing.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Here are your words of power for the
coming week, Pisces: “finagle, serendipitous, tinker, adlib, revise,
crafty, balance, rectify.” I urge you to carry out actions that embody
the spirit of all those terms. Once you do, I believe you’ll be in perfect
alignment with the cosmic forces coming to bear on you, and will
therefore have prevailed upon those cosmic forces to provide you
with the metaphorical equivalent of a skeleton key, universal pass-
word, or Swiss army knife.
HOMEWORK : Compare the person you are now with the per-
son you were two years ago. Make a list of the three most important
differences. Testify at www.freewillastrology.com
You can call for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope: 1-900-950-7700 • $1.99 per minute. Touchtone phone 18 & over c/s 612-373-9785
42 APRIL 13, 2006