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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (July 15, 2004)
BY SALLY SHEKLOW More HEMP! More TREES! Less Bush! Oh My! Different Drummers Difference is scary, so be afraid. * HEMP twine clothing & gifts T he screen door creaks open and slams shut. “Honey, I’m home-o!” It’s my darling bride, back from the gym. “In here, Ward,” I call from the kitchen where I’m fixing dinner. Wifey smooches my cheek and swipes a cucum- ber slice. “How was your day?” Crescents of sweat ring her muscle shirt collar and sleeves. She leans against the fridge, forearms glistening. “The plumber came by.” I continue tearing romaine into the bite-sized strips my sweetie likes. “She says we’ll need to replace the whole pipe.” Wifey turns to pour ice water for us both. “Oh well, it had to happen some time.” She reaches past me for plates, pulls fresh napkins from the drawer. “Been listening to the news?” She sets out forks and knives. “Unfortunately.” Wifey goes to grab another cuke but I tap her hand with a salad tong and give her a look. “Looks like that damned measure made the ballot.” “Don’t worry,” she says, hugging me from behind. She nuzzles my neck, then snags more cucumber. “We’re still married, no matter what.” * TREE-FREE cards * Bush stickers, buttons & T’s See you at the HEMPFEST! Mon-Sat 10-9/ Sun 12-6 Corner of 11th & Willamette in the ❤ of Downtown Eugene HOST FAMILIES NEEDED Make a new lifelong friend from abroad. Enrich your family with another culture. Now you can host an exchange student (girl or boy) from Sweden, Germany, France, Spain, England, Japan, Brazil, Italy or other countries. Becoming a host to a young international visitor is an experience of a lifetime! N early a quarter million Oregonians signed the Defense of Marriage Coalition’s petition. That’s a lot of people hell-bent on defending their marriages. Good for them. They’ve got a problem and are offering up a creative solution. Marriage isn’t faring very well (about 50 percent end in divorce), so they’ll amend the Constitution and prohibit marriage for gay people now and forever. Right on. You can’t have the likes of Sarah and Gretchen or Tim and Kent — or the thousands of other couples who have already taken vows — getting legally married, having access to all the privileges and protections the law grants to everyone else. Granting marriage licenses to two men or two women puts proscribed gender roles up for grabs. Women mowing the lawn? Men folding laundry? It’s just wrong. How’s a guy going to be the head of the family if you have two guys? How’s the woman supposed to be the helpmate if are you have two women? Who will take out the recycling? Who gets to use the power tools? Who drives, and who folds the map? Which one fakes the orgasm? What a fine mess we’ll be in then. People will think for themselves and follow their own God-given proclivities — and then where will we be? People doing what they damn well please, that’s where. Same-sex marriage isn’t the only threat, either. Some of you boy–girl couples ought to forfeit your right to marriage licenses, too. We know you’re out there, mixing it up — taking turns doing dishes, sharing grocery duty, granting equal time with the remote. Your shenanigans threaten the marriage institution as we know it. We can’t base our society — our nation — on every person leading their own life, exer- cising their own liberty, pursuing their own happiness. We need standards, direction, control. We need official edicts declaring who can do what. We need a king, for chris- sake. At the very least we need to support the Defense of Marriage ballot measure. Vote to change that liberal Constitution. Better yet, don’t vote at all. That way those who know what’s right for you can make all the decisions. Don’t even bother to register. America thrives on low voter registration — look where it’s gotten us so far! L OCAL AREA REPRESENTATIVES : B RIAN M OORE 685-9009 • J ANNEL A LEXANDER 736-5628 Northwest Energy Education Institute • Eugene Water and Electric Board • Oregon Department of Energy present the Third Annual ENERGY MANAGEMENT CERTIFICATION PROGRAM SPEAKER SERIES “Solar Architecture on the Rise” Steven Strong Solar Design Associates Wednesday, July 14 7:00-9:00 PM Lillis Business Complex, University of Oregon, Room 182 “Social Imperatives of Renewable Energy ” O regon — the whole country, the world, and any life we might discover on other planets — needs all marriages to be exactly alike. How do you expect to get a good goose-step going if everyone marches to their own drummer? Difference is scary, so be afraid. Get out there and defend your marriage against the onslaught of homos and homettes and those free-wheeling heteros. Vote some good old-fashioned discrimination right into your state Constitution. And if that doesn’t protect the sanctity of your marriage, maybe you ought to get a gun. Donald Aitken, PhD Donald Aitken Associates Thursday, July 15 7:00-9:00 PM Lillis Business Complex, University of Oregon, Room 182 Donald Aitken Richard Heinberg New College of California Wednesday, July 21 7:00-10:00 PM Voter registration applications are available at post offices, banks and credit unions, the public library, and page 91 of your 2004-2005 Qwest telephone directory. Sally Sheklow teaches writing at LCC and shares domestic responsibilities with her wife. Comments can be sent to sally@wymprov.com. EDITORIAL Editor Ted Taylor Executive/Arts Editor Lois Wadsworth News Editor Aria Seligmann Contributing Editor Anita Johnson Staff Writers Alan Pittman, Bobbie Willis Calendar Editor Ben Fogelson Contributing Writers Brett Campbell, Rachel Foster, Jerry Harris, Kate Rogers Gessert, James Johnston, Sharleen Nelson, Mary O’Brien, Sylvie Pederson, Vanessa Salvia, Sally Sheklow, Lance Sparks, Martha Ulman West Interns Emma Juhlin, Kate Storm y ART DEPARTMENT Art Director/Production Manager Kevin Dougherty Graphic Artist/Webmaster James Bateman Graphic Artists Todd Cooper Contributing Photographers Kurt Jensen, Paul Neevel ADVERTISING National Sales Manager Mark Frisbee Display Marketing Consultant Jennifer D’Angelo, Rob Weiss Advertising Traffic Coordinator Geneva Miller Classified Manager Jeffrey Stout Classified Marketing Consultant Bob Britto Lillis Business Complex, University of Oregon, Room 182 Followed by a showing of “The End of Suburbia” and group discussion. BUSINESS Director of Sales and Marketing Bill Shreve Circulation Manager Deena Miller Controller Paula Hoemann Distributors Bob Becker, Kevin Greene, Tim Risch, Adan Salinas, Jackson Stephens, Carrie Wedmore, Pedalers Express Printing Signature Graphics “Innovations in Facility Management” Jim Lloyd, Facility Manager Oregon State University Thursday, July 22 7:00-9:00 PM HOW TO REACH US BY E-MAIL: (letters): editor@eugeneweekly.com (advertising): ads@eugeneweekly.com (classifieds): classy@eugeneweekly.com (personals): romance@eugeneweekly.com (calendar): cal@eugeneweekly.com (music/clubs/special shows): music@eugeneweekly.com (art/openings/galleries): visualarts@eugeneweekly.com (performance/theater): performance@eugeneweekly.com (literary arts/readings): books@eugeneweekly.com (movies/film screenings): movies@eugeneweekly.com (circulation): distribution@eugeneweekly.com Eugene Weekly • 1251 Lincoln Street • Eugene, OR 97401 • 541.484.0519 • fax 541-484-4044 “Oil and War: Fighting to Feed Our Addiction” EWEB Headquarters Training Center 500 East 4th Street, Eugene OREGON DEPARTMENT OF ENERGY These educational seminars are presented free of charge by the Northwest Energy Education Institute (NEEI) at Lane Community College. Sponsorship includes Eugene Water & Electric Board (EWEB) and the Oregon Department of Energy (ODOE). Pre-Registration is not required. For more information go to www.nweei.org JULY 15, 2004 7
