BY SALLY SHEKLOW
More HEMP! More TREES! Less Bush! Oh My!
Different Drummers
Difference is scary, so be afraid.
* HEMP twine clothing & gifts
T
he screen door creaks open and slams shut.
“Honey, I’m home-o!” It’s my darling bride,
back from the gym.
“In here, Ward,” I call from the kitchen where I’m
fixing dinner.
Wifey smooches my cheek and swipes a cucum-
ber slice. “How was your day?” Crescents of sweat
ring her muscle shirt collar and sleeves. She leans
against the fridge, forearms glistening.
“The plumber came by.” I continue tearing romaine
into the bite-sized strips my sweetie likes. “She says we’ll
need to replace the whole pipe.”
Wifey turns to pour ice water for us both. “Oh well, it had to happen some time.” She
reaches past me for plates, pulls fresh napkins from the drawer. “Been listening to the
news?” She sets out forks and knives.
“Unfortunately.” Wifey goes to grab another cuke but I tap her hand with a salad
tong and give her a look. “Looks like that damned measure made the ballot.”
“Don’t worry,” she says, hugging me from behind. She nuzzles my neck, then snags
more cucumber. “We’re still married, no matter what.”
* TREE-FREE cards
* Bush stickers, buttons & T’s
See you at the HEMPFEST!
Mon-Sat 10-9/ Sun 12-6
Corner of 11th & Willamette in the ❤ of Downtown Eugene
HOST FAMILIES NEEDED
Make a new lifelong friend from abroad. Enrich your
family with another culture. Now you can host an
exchange student (girl or boy) from Sweden, Germany,
France, Spain, England, Japan, Brazil, Italy or other
countries. Becoming a host to a young international
visitor is an experience of a lifetime!
N
early a quarter million Oregonians signed the Defense of Marriage Coalition’s
petition. That’s a lot of people hell-bent on defending their marriages. Good
for them. They’ve got a problem and are offering up a creative solution.
Marriage isn’t faring very well (about 50 percent end in divorce), so they’ll amend the
Constitution and prohibit marriage for gay people now and forever. Right on.
You can’t have the likes of Sarah and Gretchen or Tim and Kent — or the thousands
of other couples who have already taken vows — getting legally married, having access
to all the privileges and protections the law grants to everyone else. Granting marriage
licenses to two men or two women puts proscribed gender roles up for grabs. Women
mowing the lawn? Men folding laundry? It’s just wrong.
How’s a guy going to be the head of the family if you have two guys? How’s the
woman supposed to be the helpmate if are you have two women? Who will take out the
recycling? Who gets to use the power tools? Who drives, and who folds the map? Which
one fakes the orgasm?
What a fine mess we’ll be in then. People will think for themselves and follow their
own God-given proclivities — and then where will we be? People doing what they damn
well please, that’s where.
Same-sex marriage isn’t the only threat, either. Some of you boy–girl couples ought
to forfeit your right to marriage licenses, too. We know you’re out there, mixing it up —
taking turns doing dishes, sharing grocery duty, granting equal time with the remote.
Your shenanigans threaten the marriage institution as we know it.
We can’t base our society — our nation — on every person leading their own life, exer-
cising their own liberty, pursuing their own happiness. We need standards, direction,
control. We need official edicts declaring who can do what. We need a king, for chris-
sake.
At the very least we need to support the Defense of Marriage ballot measure. Vote
to change that liberal Constitution. Better yet, don’t vote at all. That way those who
know what’s right for you can make all the decisions. Don’t even bother to register.
America thrives on low voter registration — look where it’s gotten us so far!
L OCAL AREA REPRESENTATIVES : B RIAN M OORE 685-9009 • J ANNEL A LEXANDER 736-5628
Northwest Energy Education Institute • Eugene Water and Electric Board • Oregon Department of Energy
present the Third Annual
ENERGY MANAGEMENT
CERTIFICATION PROGRAM
SPEAKER SERIES
“Solar Architecture on the Rise”
Steven Strong
Solar Design Associates
Wednesday, July 14 7:00-9:00 PM
Lillis Business Complex, University of Oregon, Room 182
“Social Imperatives of Renewable Energy ”
O
regon — the whole country, the world, and any life we might discover on
other planets — needs all marriages to be exactly alike. How do you expect to
get a good goose-step going if everyone marches to their own drummer?
Difference is scary, so be afraid. Get out there and defend your marriage against the
onslaught of homos and homettes and those free-wheeling heteros. Vote some good
old-fashioned discrimination right into your state Constitution. And if that doesn’t
protect the sanctity of your marriage, maybe you ought to get a gun.
Donald Aitken, PhD
Donald Aitken Associates
Thursday, July 15 7:00-9:00 PM
Lillis Business Complex, University of Oregon, Room 182
Donald Aitken
Richard Heinberg
New College of California
Wednesday, July 21 7:00-10:00 PM
Voter registration applications are available at post offices, banks and credit unions, the public library, and page 91
of your 2004-2005 Qwest telephone directory. Sally Sheklow teaches writing at LCC and shares domestic
responsibilities with her wife. Comments can be sent to sally@wymprov.com.
EDITORIAL Editor Ted Taylor
Executive/Arts Editor Lois Wadsworth News Editor Aria Seligmann
Contributing Editor Anita Johnson
Staff Writers Alan Pittman, Bobbie Willis
Calendar Editor Ben Fogelson Contributing Writers Brett Campbell,
Rachel Foster, Jerry Harris, Kate Rogers Gessert, James Johnston, Sharleen
Nelson, Mary O’Brien, Sylvie Pederson, Vanessa Salvia, Sally Sheklow, Lance
Sparks, Martha Ulman West Interns Emma Juhlin, Kate Storm
y
ART DEPARTMENT
Art Director/Production Manager Kevin Dougherty
Graphic Artist/Webmaster James Bateman
Graphic Artists Todd Cooper
Contributing Photographers Kurt Jensen, Paul Neevel
ADVERTISING
National Sales Manager Mark Frisbee
Display Marketing Consultant Jennifer D’Angelo, Rob Weiss
Advertising Traffic Coordinator Geneva Miller
Classified Manager Jeffrey Stout
Classified Marketing Consultant Bob Britto
Lillis Business Complex, University of Oregon, Room 182
Followed by a showing of “The End of Suburbia”
and group discussion.
BUSINESS Director of Sales and Marketing Bill Shreve
Circulation Manager Deena Miller Controller Paula Hoemann
Distributors Bob Becker, Kevin Greene, Tim Risch, Adan Salinas, Jackson
Stephens, Carrie Wedmore, Pedalers Express
Printing Signature Graphics
“Innovations in Facility Management”
Jim Lloyd, Facility Manager
Oregon State University
Thursday, July 22 7:00-9:00 PM
HOW TO REACH US BY E-MAIL:
(letters): editor@eugeneweekly.com
(advertising): ads@eugeneweekly.com
(classifieds): classy@eugeneweekly.com
(personals): romance@eugeneweekly.com
(calendar): cal@eugeneweekly.com
(music/clubs/special shows): music@eugeneweekly.com
(art/openings/galleries): visualarts@eugeneweekly.com
(performance/theater): performance@eugeneweekly.com
(literary arts/readings): books@eugeneweekly.com
(movies/film screenings): movies@eugeneweekly.com
(circulation): distribution@eugeneweekly.com
Eugene Weekly • 1251 Lincoln Street • Eugene, OR 97401 • 541.484.0519 • fax 541-484-4044
“Oil and War: Fighting to Feed Our Addiction”
EWEB Headquarters Training Center
500 East 4th Street, Eugene
OREGON DEPARTMENT
OF ENERGY
These educational seminars are presented free of charge by the
Northwest Energy Education Institute (NEEI) at Lane Community College.
Sponsorship includes Eugene Water & Electric Board (EWEB)
and the Oregon Department of Energy (ODOE).
Pre-Registration is not required.
For more information go to www.nweei.org
JULY 15, 2004 7