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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (April 1, 2004)
See something you like? Respond to an ad! Call: 1-888-652-6385 v m A accepted or 1-900-226-2436, $1.89/min. 18 or older. To respond to a Blind Box: Mail a letter to Eugene Weekly, 1251 Lincoln St. Eugene, OR 97401. Attention the letter to the Blind Box name. SPRING FEVER SWPF early 50s, 5’4”, HWP, cute, fit, positive attitude, great sense of humor. ISO reliable, tolerant, liber- al, affectionate, monogamous guy for romance, walks, conversation, music, movies, the coast. NS. ☎ 2467 COLLEGE STUDENT SWF, 24, energetic and vital, mature and dark haired. i prefer Christian, loving, playful, organic gardener. I’ve traveled to West Bengal, India, and collected coins. Want to know you. Namaste. ☎ 2607 MOUNTAIN DREAMS Petite professional SWF 43. Looking to share the outdoors, organic food, spirituality, energy work, romance, fine food, open healthy communication, and slow dancing. Must be kind, caring, compassionate, a gentle soul. Namaste. ☎ 2401 BEAUTIFUL BRUNETTE Athletic, occasionally silly, eco- minded, biodegradable. ISO SM 35-45 fit in body and mind, open, well read, interested in Buddhism, camping, hiking, walks on the beach. Looking for a good fit, imperfections gladly accepted. ☎ 2417 OUTGOING AND FUN MWPF, attractive, fit, with free time during the week. Would like to meet handsome, HWP gentleman 30-45 for walks, talks, wine tast- ings, lunches and MORE! NS. ☎ 2523 MAKE HOUSE A HOME Generous sized lady would like to be your live in homemaker, cook, walking partner, sweetie, hopefully long term. I’m 50 something, lov- ing, responsible, trustworthy, cute, fun. Will be there for you. ☎ 2409 TASTEFULLY TWISTED SWF, 25, seeking SM 25-35 who enjoys nature, movies, reading, music, walks. I’m honest, open, kind, tastefully twisted. You be too. Seeking friendship, companion- ship, more? NA, ND, NS, not bor- ing. ☎ 2382 DOES BACKCOUNTRY powder skiing, chasing wildflow- ers, swimming high Cascades lakes soothe your soul, leave you quivering in a puddle of bliss?! Passionate, cute, fit, slim, sensual SWF, 42, seeks you! Road cyclists, freeheelers especially encour- aged! ☎ 2519 HOT FOR HOTTIES Hey I’m a hot girl. Looking for a hot guy any age between 18-25. I want you to want to take long walks at night on the beach and having fun as well. LOL. ☎ 2526 LIFE ADVENTURER 61 yo SWF. Seeking fellow traveler for some of life’s adventures. My passions are Aikido, burning man and painting. What are yours? ☎ 2517 LIVE! Easy travel, the states, beyond. Museums, hikes, snorkel. Laugh, dance, hot tub, dream under the stars. Fit SWM 5’10”, blonde, 53. ISO F, Fit, 39-55, independent, NS. LTR? ☎ 2582 CUTE FARM BOY Virgin, need to sow my wild oats. Very loving, wealthy. Desire to please you with kisses and loving caress, making wonderful love or dirty sex. Take care of my manly needs, call now! ☎ 2606 SWM 48 Begin with curiosity, playfulness, caring. Add open communication, ridiculousness, spirituality. Mix weirdness, flaws, shadow side. Enter mystery, magic. Blend. Let hearts trust, spirits reveal. Soul’s recipe seeks mate. Write Blind Box: “Spirits Reveal.” ✍ LAST DANCE Tall, mustached, working silver lion with sensitive heart and mid- 50s relationship charisma. Seeks HWP, tallish, love survivor for music, dancing, Bijou, laughing, and mutual nurturing. ☎ 2594 RUGGED INDIVIDUAL Spring fever. Need some romance. 23 year old attractive man. Athletic build, rugged, would love to meet nice young women for some fun. Relax, have fun, enjoy life. ☎ 2581 ASIAN WOMAN Attractive tall SWM HWP. 47, is very attracted to beautiful Asian women 18-40 who are HWP. For walks, talks, dinner and more. UO stu- dents especially welcome. ☎ 2592 HOT LOVER Hot, sophisticated lover, radical humanitarian. Seeks hot woman. We’re honest, healthy, stable, fun! Uninhibited, vegetarian, herb friendly, eclectic adventurers. Motivated by loving communica- tion (the best lubrication), mas- sage, music, nature, smiling. ☎ 2534 HEY ASIAN GIRL! A very nice guy wants to meet you for the start of what could be the romance of a lifetime. You are intelligent, fit and love attention. ☎ 2591 FIT, PETITE SOUGHT Nice guy, 57, Roseburg, fit, fun, Harley type, seeks funny, intelli- gent woman for passion romance, mellow times, blues, rides and a future. Age not important, attitude is. Younger a plus! ☎ 2590 EARTHY WOMAN SM, 50. Fit, happy, youthful, play- ful, sensual. Looking to share romance, passion, health, laugh- ter, outdoors, travel and garden with earthy woman. ND, NS, Green OK. ☎ 2580 MY CAR IS A BIKE 24 yo skinny Virgo, Ram hippie seeking compatible female on journey through space-time. Will cook for massage. ☎ 2531 SPRING FEVER Newly recovered from conserva- tive Baptist upbringing. Bored with the mainstream society, seeking cute hippy girl. I am 25 years old 5’4” athletic, sensual, open mind- ed, sensitive. Enjoy gatherings, movies, and nature. ☎ 2578 GOOD-LOOKING, Tall, 6’3”. Dark blonde blue eyed white guy. Happily engaged but lacking in other fulfillment’s. ISO WF that can maybe help out. ☎ 2533 LET IT BE 40s, tall, fit, sensitive M ISO fun slender, sensual, attractive woman. Seeking quality communi- cation, intimacy and discrete sur- prises. ☎ 2518 NEED A PAGAN Need, as opposed to merely want: Capable, slim pagan at extreme odds with dominant culture. Let’s combine resources and resource- fulness to create a more sane pres- ent and secure future life. ☎ 2475 COMPANIONSHIP You are mature, bright, active, loyal. LTR? I am 6’, 200 lbs. Above all, love the Oregon coast, inter- esting, don’t mind coming inland. Let’s talk. Florence. ☎ 2472 WM 43, 5’10”, brown hair, blue eyes, hardwork- ing, outdoorsy, weightlifter, seeks dinner, movie date with very busty, affectionate female, age and race unimportant. ☎ 2458 ONE LOVE WANTED I was just looking for a girl to love. SWM 41, 5’1”, 180, blue, brown, farm boy. Just looking to find a love one. ☎ 2415 BY ROB BREZSNY ARIES (March 21-April 19): Aries statesman Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence in a mere 18 days. You should make him your role model as you devote the next three weeks to producing a masterpiece that will be regarded by posterity as one of history’s great accomplishments. APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerat- ing a little, Aries. It’s true that you now have enormous creative power, and you could very well lay the groundwork for what will ultimately be a tour de force. But you may not be able to whip it out in three weeks, and it may not have quite the star quality of Jefferson’s classic. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In the coming week, your dreams will be more interesting and important than anything that happens during the day. Your sleep- ing mind can solve all your problems if given enough time — and maybe even the prob- lems of those you love, too. Can you afford to stay in bed for 12 hours at a stretch? APRIL FOOL! Twelve hours might be a bit much. But everything else I said was true. You have the potential to be a dreaming genius. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Visualize a scenario in which Israelis and Palestinians are still embroiled in a hateful state of siege for another 100 years. Imagine that the personal problems bugging you now will continue to torment you indefinitely. Live your life as if you believe the world is falling apart and that we human beings are parasites bent on wrecking the paradise we’ve been blessed with. APRIL FOOL! Don’t you dare indulge in any of the hackneyed cynicism I just spouted. While educated idiots might try to convince you that badmouthing the future is honest and intelligent, it’s actually a bad habit based on delusion. Here’s your real assignment, Gemini: Retrain your mind to expect the best. Visualize in graphic detail the transforma- tions you’d love to see. Cultivate delight using all your ingenuity. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Add more locks to your doors and more armor to your defense mechanisms. Transform your home into an impregnable fortress of solitude and don’t go out unless you absolutely have to. You must make yourself per- fectly safe! APRIL FOOL! It probably makes sense to be more discriminating about whom you share your feelings with, but in general it’s an excellent time to open your heart and turn your home into a festive center of abundance. I suggest you invite every interesting person you trust to come and experience you in your natural habitat. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): This just in: It is possible to buy happiness. In fact, researchers at Yahoo! Personal Finance have determined the precise amount neces- sary: $4.9 million. With that sum in your bank account, you could acquire the lifestyle that would fulfill your dreams and make you feel really good. Now here’s the crazy part, Leo: The chances are far better than usual that you’ll win the lottery this week, thereby guaranteeing your eternal happiness. APRIL FOOL! While you Leos do have extraordi- nary financial luck these days, there just aren’t enough lotteries in the world to ensure that every one of you will win one. plums were, leave this poem by William Carlos Williams: “I have eaten/ the plums/ that were in/ the icebox// and which/ you were probably/ saving/ for breakfast// Forgive me/ they were delicious/ so sweet/ and so cold”. APRIL FOOL! While you do have astrological permission to be grabbier and greedier and more impulsive than usual, you can easily do that without generating any bad karma. Don’t steal the plums. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): It’s not enough to do good deeds this week. You should also be intent on getting handsomely repaid for your good deeds. In other words, Scorpio, generosity will be a brilliant strategy if it manipulates others into being generous to you. Give selfishly, or don’t give at all. APRIL FOOL! The truth is that you should bestow blessings everywhere you go, but with absolutely no strings attached. Here are your words to live by, courtesy of the Dalai Lama: “Try with all your might — work very, very hard — to make the world a better place. But if all your efforts are to no avail — no hard feelings!” SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Everyone in the world is either a narcissist or a closet narcissist. Ironically, it’s those in the latter group who’re more dangerous. Their self-obsession expresses in covert ways that are hard to track. That’s one reason why you should be unapologetically blatant about expressing your superiority this week, Sagittarius. The second reason is that the astrological omens suggest you have a mandate to be a raging megalomaniac. APRIL FOOL! I went over- board there, although not by a whole lot. Let’s just say that between now and April 18 you have cosmic permission to love yourself even more than usual and break your all- time bragging records. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Does your roommate have some ripe plums in the refrigerator that you’re dying to devour? Go right ahead. In the spot where the AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): A swimming coach in Darwin, Australia decided that his young swimmers lacked ambition. They were consistently mediocre in competition, with no apparent drive for peak performances. Hoping to rouse their primal instinct to swim faster, he proposed to have them practice with a 10- foot crocodile in the pool. I wish you Aquarians would consider being equally daring as you ratchet up your motivation levels in the coming weeks. APRIL FOOL! Scaring your- self is a terrible strategy. But I do think you should take a more aggressive approach to stimulating your drive for excellence. and sell your car at less than market value. If you do these things, I guarantee that within six weeks you will get an easy job where everyone loves you and you get paid way too much money to have way too much fun. APRIL FOOL! I was just testing you to see how susceptible you are to being manipulated by experts you trust. The fact is, Pisces, if you turn down the volume of the authority figures who drone on in your head — both those who bent your thoughts in the past and those who shape your destiny in the present — your financial situation and your job satisfaction will markedly improve. No pain, no gain. Shit happens. Life is a bitch and then you die. APRIL FOOL! The truth is that the whole world is conspiring to give you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it. You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your EXPANDED WEEKLY HOROSCOPE: 1-900-950-7700 • $1.99 per minute • Touchtone phone 18 & over • c/s 612-373-9785 38 APRIL 1, 2004 WEEK DAY FRIEND For wildflower walks, sensual massage, tantric exploring, sup- portive cuddling. Let’s be attrac- tive, fit, spriritually inclined, open heart, open mind. LTR preferred, S. Eugene a +. Daytime only. Letter and photo, will get same in reply. Write Blind Box: “Namaste.” ✍ SOMEONE TO CHILL Cute talented 25 year old looking for a girl to help take advantage of a lazy weekends. ☎ 2408 HIP, MELLOW, BORED SWM early 20s. I like sitting around, Anticon, PBR, Portishead, the Bijou. Bored, educated indie boy seeking cute indiegirl to get me out of the apartment for shows, drinks, indielove. ☎ 2407 DARE TO CALL Tall SBM seeks SWF, 40-60, who likes movies, picnics, dancing, HWP. If we were to get together, I would treat you the same way I treat my mom and two sisters, lov- ing and caring. ☎ 2403 SHARE TIME Love to share some time, music, dance and joy from time to time with someone who loves creativi- ty. Mid 50s, very fit, conscious, clean. Good listener, communica- tor, conversationalist. You be too. ☎ 2381 FRIENDS FIRST Mature man seeking country type woman, likes long walks, beach walking, mountain hikes, intelli- gent, outspoken, attractive, sensi- tive, humorous, SWM, no mind games ND, NS, ISO woman 38-51 yo. Write Blind Box: “Friends First.” ✍ BEAUTIFUL, MAGNETIC tatooed SWM, 31 yo, 6’2”, 200 lb., artistic, intelligent, forest wander- ing, rock searching, very positive individual with animal magnetism, a rock hard body, and mesmerizing blue eyes ISO one Asian, white intellectually stimulating, hard sleek pheromone exuding female animal for lots of laughs and quests to find pretty rocks. ☎ 2375 SILVER, BLONDE You are exceptional because you are you. Needing a special friend. You are open. Know yourself, wants, needs. 40-55. Me: Cute, 47, athletic, well read, solvent. Take a safe chance. ☎ 2527 GOT PERSPECTIVE? 20 yo fem student loves running, dance, art. Looking for a 20-30 yo lady with a beautiful perspective on life to enjoy the beautiful sunshine with. No expectations. ☎ 2421 EQUAL BALANCE Nice to be with friends and I enjoy a great date, but I’m still looking for the one who rocks my world. ISO secure, playful, peaceful, outdoorsy type. Leave message. ☎ 2411 FREEHEELERS UNITE I’m organizing an email listserv, similar to VNC, so fellow telemark skiers can collaborate to ski the backcountry together! Call with your name, email, phone number please. ☎ 2307 (09/13/01) UNDERSTANDING GBM, 25 yo, seeking a guy who’s understanding, nice to be with, 18-30 yo. Would and might date with coffee. Please not over 30 yo. To know more, pick this nice ad. ☎ 2603 WHITE TV 40s seeking BM for friendship. Nice duplex Ferry St. bridge area. ☎ 2602 JUST FOR FUN Looking for guy who want to have a good time with. You must be clean and let play it safe. Bi, gay, married, and straight. ☎ 2471 PARTY AND PLAY GWC seeks other men for similar interests. Albany. ☎ 2463 CASUAL OR DATING GWM, 27 yo, HWP, very attractive, seeking same 18-30 yo, masculine men preferred for casual or dat- ing. ☎ 2374 PURR 25 yo submissive with 4+ years in the lifestyle is looking to try her hand at the wild world of domina- tion. Call me “gorgeous” and let’s explore. ☎ 2536 FUN SEEKER Looking for fun gal to run around with, must love outdoors, kids, and quiet times. Age, size, irrelevant. Open minded. Single or otherwise, leave me a message, I’ll call you. ☎ 2576 COOL PEOPLE Looking for some cool people, 40- 55, who like to come to the coast to play. I’m into most sports, taking my dog on hikes, swimming, kayak- ing, tennis. I’m a fun introvert. ☎ 2466 NO COMMITMENTS Knock, knock. Who wants to have fun? The weather is breaking, time to enjoy. No commitments, just someone to hang out with. ☎ 2464 OLD MAN DANCING John at Luna, your dancing 3/19 was graceful and a joy to watch. No need to apologize as far as this guest is concerned. Keep up the good work. ☎ 2586 WALDORF BENEFIT 3/20 You knocked over our horn player’s baritone saxophone and took off into the crowd! It needs repair, if you’re interested in making it right. ☎ 2585 MAN ON A BIKE 3/22, 18th and high. You: long haired blue eyed man. Me: dark haired girl in purple and black on sidewalk. Shared a smile. Wanna share more? ☎ 2577 SWING MY WAY? You: Hot employee at Smith Family Books on 13th, Michelle? Me: Braids, baby girl on my hip, older son on aisle 2. Single? Like girls? Coffee or tequila shots? ☎ 2537 ZACK SAWYER I finally spoke to you at Wayne Hancock and now must know if you handle your women the way you handle your bass. If so, you can play me anytime. ☎ 2535 I SAW HOBE All the tired horses in the sun, how does that make you the drunk king to then call them names when they get lonely with your dark side. ☎ 2530 $5 TAN Hey Arizona. You are so hot I almost got tan standing next to you. Awesome smile. How about your body? Fine. How about mine? ☎ 2529 BUS HUNK I saw your muscles flexing and your pant bulging and thought, “If I were brave I would ask for your number, hot bus driver, Tom Cruise.” ☎ 2528 MERRY X-MAS Unny I.M.G. You drove by so fast you blew the knobs off my modula- tor and the wax off my platter. Help me pick up the broken pieces. Rudolph the Red nosed Reindeer. ☎ 2522 EURO LOVE I saw you in my dreams. You are an incredibly amazing woman and I am unbelievably happy to have you in my life. I love you. ☎ 2476 JUST FROM CALI Wearing your Nintendo Hoodie looking for a job. You took my breath away when we talked at McDonalds. I’d love to see you again. ☎ 2600 QUIVER Looking for someone who is intelli- gent and humorous who enjoys quiet time together. Someone able to make my heart flutter and make me quiver. ☎ 2593 MOVIES 12 3/6/04, 10-10:30pm. You wearing red plaid shirt, rolled up jeans, combed hair high, and just cute overall. Me wearing a dark green t- shirt with Indian Chief smoking pipe. Are you Family? ☎ 2587 BURLESQUE SHOW Flaming gay drummer boy at John Henry’s burlesque show. You couldn’t stop gazing at me. You said it was my hair, but we know the truth. ☎ 2579 MORE THAN GENTLE 5’8” 27 yo BM seeks for a hang out buddy. Should be open minded, understanding and honest. I will be yours. ☎ 2524 CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): My reader-satisfaction level is high. The weekly audience for this horoscope column is about nine million people, but I get an average of only 40 complaints a year. Maybe it’s because you Capricorns are so forceful in sticking up for your needs, but a disproportionate number of the beefs I receive are from your tribe. That’s why I’ve decided to never again utter a discouraging word in your presence. Forevermore, your horoscope will contain nothing but praise and good news. APRIL FOOL! I love you, Capricorn! And it wouldn’t be very loving to refrain from kicking your butt on those rare occasions when you need it. Like now, for instance: I demand that you demand higher standards from you and your inner circle. (Feb. 19-March 20): Quit your job immediately. Move out of VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Your role model these days should be the vul- PISCES your house. Break off your closest relationships. Give away all your clothes to charity gar, debauched writer Charles Bukowski. He was poor most of his life as he worked endless odd jobs, but he managed to publish 50 books with titles like Love Is a Dog from Hell and Play the Piano Drunk Like a Percussion Instrument Until the Fingers Begin to Bleed a Bit. Here’s one of his typically inspired passages: “It’s not easy to jug- gle a full-time job, a pregnant wife, and a troubled child, but somehow I still managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.” Be like Bukowksi this week, Virgo. APRIL FOOL! I was just messin’ with’ you, Dog! I don’t really want you to be like Bukowski. But I had you going there for a minute, didn’t I? And that’s good, because every now and then — like right now — it’s damn healthy for you to fantasize that you’re a vulgar, debauched writer. 2 SMASHING FRIENDS With time to please. Don’t worry we already quit our day jobs. Both brown hair, dark skin, 5’7” and 5’10”. We are loyal, with own style. We need the sweetest sugar mama. Join our fun. It’s like noth- ing to us, smashing in the sun. ☎ 2418 HOT BUNNY ART DIVA Saw you pontificating, dazzling, fooling a group of art droolers last full moon. You are the cream in my coffee, the song in my heart. I love you, Bunny! ☎ 2598 NEIGHBORS 3/26 Amber, you said I had nice moves. My moves would have been a lot closer had I known you were sin- gle! Hope you show up on Sunday the 4th. ☎ 2597 PIONEER SAFEWAY 3/21/04, 11:45 pm. Security Guard smiled many times at me. How big is your billy club? ☎ 2589 MOVIES 12 3/21/04, 9:50pm. Cute blond car- ried your friend into the movie lobby. I was sitting around window and will you carried me home? ☎ 2588 FINALS STUDYING At the cafe in the morning, on the lawn in the sun, and through the night. You were speaking a foreign language or two. Can you teach me some of that? Guy on cruiser. ☎ 2473 GREEN SWEATER You bought the “Secret Life of Bees” and I complimented you on your sweater. Should have men- tioned how elegant you are. My mistake. ☎ 2470 MEKALAS 3/12 Sitting in the corner under the glowing umbrellas with your friends. Another Mango Caipiroska? Hope to see you down in the lounge again, need to see you again. ☎ 2468 REGISTER-GUARD on 3/11/04 You were placing an ad in the Volkswagen column, I was putting in a thrifty ad. You waited for me to come out, but you were afraid to talk, you just waved. Lets get together. ☎ 2465 23RD AND ADAMS You found that goofy hound. I was the non-city worker with two gray dogs. I came back but you were gone. Did you ever find the owner? ☎ 2420 Participants in Eugene Weekly Personals must be 18 years or older. To ensure your safety, carefully screen all responses. First meetings should occur in a public place and participants should not divulge addresses. Eugene Weekly does not screen or investi- gate individuals who place or respond to personals ads and makes no representation as to the character of these individuals. Eugene Weekly will not be responsible for the consequences of any interaction. Not all voice boxes contain voice greetings.
