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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (April 1, 2004)
SWIZZLE 2004 H A N G O VE R H E L L THE CRUELTY COME SUNDAY MORNING. BY JONATHAN AMABISCA T he worst thing after a good, hard night of drinking is when you wake up the next day needing to throw up and stuck with mud butt. Trying to choreograph the activity so you can puke up most of what’s about to run down your pants before the dam breaks is a human extreme in itself. Those are the worst kind of hangovers. I’ve never sworn I would- n’t drink again, never gone down the road of prayer or dark arts in order to get through the pain. Nay, instead I curse the gods: Damn you for making my body weak to temptation and Bacardi 151. Damn it all, indeed. Surviving the hangover is about three things: prevention, prevention and prevention! A survey done in 2001 by Alka-Seltzer Morning Relief found that it takes about three drinks for a hangover to begin insinuating itself into your system. Doesn’t sound like much, and “much” is what makes a night worthwhile. But keeping a steady pace of one drink per hour will help to curb the tide, limiting a hang- over’s power. Adding bread and water to the evening’s carousing will also dilute the alcoholic effect. May take longer to get intoxicated, but it will absorb all the nastiness, for the most part. For hangover extremes, scientists have — no joke — invented a pill. The Russians, after 25 years of drunken research, have developed RU-21. It’s the hangover pill designed to combat the growing Red Bull/Vodka trend, my personal favorite. RU-21 is said to limit the flow of the alcohol into the organs, thus preventing a hangover and liver damage all in one. If you Google this wonder reme- dy, you’ll find it next to Zeo, the American version of the “party with- out the pain” hangover pill. Maxim magazine stands by First Call, an all- natural alcohol fighter. A dose per two to three drinks is supposed to leave you guilt free the next morning. But if you’re like me and pill pop- ping doesn’t sound like such a hot form for a hangover remedy, get back to the basics: good ol’ greasy food. It may not sound so tasty, but the effects are phenomenal. Think of the nuclear breakfast: bacon, eggs, sausage, ham, toast and some orange juice, all per- SCIENCE: HARD AT WORK ON THE HANGOVER. . . . if you’re like me and pill popping doesn’t sound like such a hot form for a hangover remedy, get back to the basics: good ol’ greasy food. It may not sound so tasty, but the effects are phenomenal. fect forces to battle the darkness of hangover. It’s like this meal was sole- ly designed to cure early man of hangoveritis. If all else fails, even KFC’s greasy chicken can help out, and I swear by that. Taken with some Gatorade to re-hydrate the body and the mind, the effects of a debilitating hangover are neutralized in just a couple of hours. I mean, if you can invest a whole night damaging vital organs and irreplaceable brain cells, the least you can do the next day is give the body a good breakfast. Or just don’t drink so damn much, mud butt. ew Not ready for the night to end? Cap off the evening with a relaxing hot tub in a private room at the Salsa SPRINGFIELD by Jenny & Mario DANCE LESSONS SPAS & TANNING Now offering massage! Open: 12pm-2am Sun.-Thurs. 12pm-4am Fri.-Sat. 1100 Main St. in Springfield 741-1777 20 % OFF BRING IN THIS AD FOR . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .TUB BETWEEN 1 AM- 4 AM. 99 W. B ROADWAY SATURDAYS 6 WEEK SESSION Starts April 3 - May 8 Intermediate Class I 5:30-6:30pm Must know the basic Salsa steps FOR MORE INFO: 342-3021 mario@eugenesalsa.com C L A S S E S H E L D AT: I N S HAPE F ITNESS C TR 2 6 8 1 W I L L A M E T T E S T. 683-3154 X-BOX LOUNGE TOURNEY NIGHTS JAZZ & BLUES JAMS • OPEN MIC NITES ALL AGES TIL 9PM • BREWERY • FULL BAR 844 Olive Street • Downtown (Near John Henry’s) • 345-8489 www.eugeneweekly.com SWIZZLE APRIL 1, 2004 11
